Unseen
by Amoena Castitatis Lilium
Summary: When Will Darcy moves into town, he changes Alexa's life. While she falls in love with him, he falls in love with her sister Lizzie, who hates him. Darcy discovers though that there is something about Alexa that can't be ignored. Will either of them see what's in front of them before it's too late. OC and OOC's (Wrote a new summary, to possibly go better the story)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first attempt at writing a FanFic. I've been reading P&P FanFic for a long time, and after reading a story where in my POV Darcy was not as bad as Lizzie thought him to be, this idea popped into my head. Two songs, also influenced the story, 'Strange and Beautiful' by Aqualung, and 'Mice' by Toys Like Me. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 1

Alexandra Bennet would wake up early every morning along with her twin sister Elizabeth. They would go for a jog every morning every during summer, except on the days that Alexandra would ride her horse. Elizabeth had a fear of horses and would go walking. Although they were twins, Elizabeth and Alexandra were nothing alike. They did not look anything at all like each other, nor did they act like each other. In fact they were not even close. Elizabeth or Lizzie as her friends and family called her was born two minutes earlier. She had very curly brown hair and eyes. She was thin, pretty, bold, witty, smart, playful, and easily made friends anywhere she went. Alexandra, Alexa to the world and Lexie to her closest friends was the total opposite. She had auburn wavy hair, green eyes, she was a little fuller and curvaceous, was very intelligent. She was willful but quiet and reserved, and got through life with her security blanket, pills.

They lived in the small town of Meryton which was only a couple of miles from the city of Lamboten. The town only knew Alexa as the third child of Rose and James Bennet, or Lizzie's smart twin sister who attended Silver Magnet High, a school for very intelligent; and most importantly wealthy children. Only four people in the whole world would be able to tell anyone about Alexa, and even at best it was only things that she would let them know. The reason was simple Alexa was the middle child that did not live up to the standards of her trophy wife mother Rose. To Rose Bennet appearances were everything, and Alexa was too plain and depressing for her. Her eldest Jane was by far the beauty of her daughters. Elizabeth had a spark about her that made everyone like her. Catherine or Kitty was the fourth child, and although there was nothing about her, she was not Alexa, and also acted like her. Lydia who was the youngest was her favorite. She looked just like her when she was younger and her manners were the same. What she did not know was that to the rest of the world Lydia and herself were loud, vain, and silly.

Alexa could never remember a time when she had referred to Rose as anything but Rose. Rose had never been a mother to her. Alexa knew that Rose did not like her. It was not as if Rose had ever been shy to admit it. Alexa according to her was nothing but a mistake, and accident, something that should have not been. She was an inconvenience, not as beautiful as the rest of her children and was responsible for ruining her figure. Had nothing special about her like Lizzie did, and she did not understand Alexa at all. She was embarrassed by her, but she would never let the public know. As far as the town knew Rose was proud of Alexa, she was the smartest in her class at Silver M, an excellent violinist and could play the piano and sing. No one knew about Alexa's depression or that she took pills. She knew she loved her father very much. What she did not see was that he was distant to even to her. His favorite daughter was Lizzie, they were almost alike in temper and attitude, they would always spend much of their time together. To him Alexa was nothing more than a trophy daughter, something to brag about to his friends, much like his wife. The difference was that he at least held Alexa in the highest esteem. He was proud of Alexa and all the work he put into her. He knew that she would become something great, and he was going to be responsible for it all. He was not at all and attentive husband or father to his wife or two younger children. He considered Kitty and Lydia to be too much like their mother. Although he had grown to dislike Rose, he would not leave her. He also cared about appearances and all the world knew was that they were a happy family. He did not care too much about Alexa taking pills. He was the one to encourage it. It was better than how she was before he would tell himself.

Alexa had known, always felt that *life is pain; life is only pain, dark depressing loneliness that eats at your soul. Love did not work for her father and Rose, so why should it work for her. When she was no older than three, her father noticed that she was advanced for her age. When she would play with the piano she was actually making music instead of hitting random notes as Jane and Lizzie did. But did little to encourage her or think too much of it. When she and Lizzie started school, they were both skipped ahead a grade and were put in Jane's class. But Alexa was advancing quicker than both her sisters. When they reached third grade, their teacher decided to give Alexa a test to see where she belonged. Before she knew it, she was offered a full scholarship to Silver Magnet. It was a private school in the city where the richest families sent their children to learn at a higher education than those in a public school. Her father, made Alexa change schools in between the school year, and only told her not to waste this opportunity that had been given to her. This was a blessing for her, "Take advantage of this Lexie, and work hard," so she did. Rose though could truly not care less, and made it clear that it should be her beloved Jane that should be going, for she was less likely to embarrass them and be popular and be able catch a rich husband when she was older.

In truth though Rose was the embarrassment along with her younger sisters at her schools gatherings, even at times her father, who would just make fun of her families silliness and never corrected them. In any matters it did not help Alexa to make friends with the family she had. Never the less Alexa took advantage of the education she was given, and became the top of her class. She learned to play the violin and excelled at it. Nothing she did though would help her make friends. She was alone, she did not have Lizzie there to talk to or defend her as she always had. Or Jane who she saw as a mother figure to comfort her and tell her everything would be alright. She was constantly bullied and picked on. She learned it was best to stay in the shadows. She had never told anyone except Dr. Stone about the bullying, she did not want to complain. She suppressed everything and became depressed. She was aware of her talents but took no pleasure in bragging about them. By the time she reached high school, she was considered a great violinist, and an excellent piano player. She also had a beautiful voice, but to Alexa these things did not matter, they were just how she found her escape. These were some of the thing that made her feel anything at all.

When Lizzie and she returned from there jog, everyone in the house was awake. They both showered and got ready for the day and joined the rest of the family for breakfast. Everything was as it always had been. Her father was reading the paper, Jane and Lizzie were talking with each other, and Lydia, Kitty, and Rose were talking about the latest gossip: The Bingley's a newly rich family moving right next door to them, they had a son, and two daughters. The oldest was Louisiana, then Charles and Caroline, twins who would be attending Meryton High with the rest of the girls. Rose mentioned that there would be a welcome party for the Bingley's. She went on about how they all had to make a great first impression, but was looking directly at Alexa. Alexa however just nodded and kept eating her breakfast. Parties were not her cup of tea, she wished she could stay home by herself, but knew that would not be an option. Rose went on to tell her husband that he should go make the new neighbors feel welcome and get to know them, become friends with Mr. Bingley, but he refused which angered Rose, but that did not stop her from complaining and arguing knowing that it would not change his mind.

Alexa woke up early the next day as usual, but decided to ride her horse, and Lizzie decided to sleep in. It was a rather hot day for fall, and after letting Aries run as fast as he wanted, she decided to head towards the lake to allow Aries to cool down, and get a drink of water. When she got there, she had been hot and sweaty and the water looked cool and inviting. She decided to jump into the lake, and stripped down to her undershirt and underwear. The water was cool, and refreshing against her skin, and she liked to submerge herself under water. When she surfaced, she heard a snap and looked at the shore, there was a boy standing there frozen in place, staring at her. He seemed tall, had dark wavy hair and looked embarrassed, she saw him glancing towards where she had placed her clothes. She decided to stay where she was, hoping he would just leave. It was not until he apologized that she swam closer to the shore and asked him to throw her clothes towards her. He complied and looked away while she dressed. She kept her eyes on him making sure he would not turn around. Once she was dressed she thanked him and he turned around. He was handsome, big and tall, but what stunned her were his eyes. They were blue, an icy blue that seemed to pierce through you. A color she could not describe at the moment. Each being shy apologized, and she thanked him for his help. They parted ways and as she and Aries walked home she could not help her mind wander back the boy with the piercing blue eyes, and that she wished she had gotten his name. She had never seen him before and she was close to the Netherfield property, she realized that it must be Charles Bingley.

* * *

It was the day of the Welcome party for the Bingley's, Rose had taken and dragged Alexa to the mall to buy new dresses just for the party. Although Alexa had told her that she was going to arrive late to the party, Rose still wanted everyone to look their best in hopes of catching Charles's eye. Or at least become friends with the Bingley's. When Alexa finally arrived at the party, the Bingley's were already there. She had not seen Lizzie, Jane, Mary her cousin nor Charlotte so she made her way to the refreshment table. Nobody noticed that she had arrived. She saw Lizzie standing off to the side and was about to make her way towards her but then she saw the boy from the lake. He looked like she figured she did, bored and wishing they could be anywhere else but at the party. He was standing with a boy who was a little shorter than him with blondish red hair. She made her way towards Lizzie and as she got closer she could plainly hear the boys talking loudly. "Darcy," said the unknown boy, "You can't just be a wall flower all night. You have to get to know people, or you should at least dance."

"Charlie, your sisters are busy at the moment, and in case you did not notice you are dancing with the only pretty girl here. I-"

"Yes! Jane is very beautiful, an angel almost!" Interrupted Charlie, "But there are plenty of pretty girls here, look there's Jane's sister Elizabeth. She is just as pretty, ask her to dance."

"She is OK, but not pretty enough to tempt me, nobody else wants to dance with her, why should I?" He said in a cold manor. "Besides I'm not in the mood for dancing, go back to your 'angel' and leave me alone."

Charlie just shook his head and took off. Lizzie looked around the room to find Charlotte and went to go talk to her. Alexa could tell from the way they were laughing, and looking at Darcy, that Lizzie had overheard the entire conversation. Despite Lizzie's cool demeanor though, Alexa knew that his comment had hurt her sister. She decided not to make her presence known to anyone and observe the party. Jane and Charlie were dancing. Lizzie and Charlotte were dancing with each other. She did not see her father, she saw Mary reading a book, Kitty and Lydia were dancing with older boys and being a little too loud. Rose was talking to the other mothers, laughing and gossiping. She found herself looking at Darcy a majority of the time. He stayed to himself, and had a scowl on his face. Eventually a tall girl put her arm around his, they would have looked like a couple if Darcy did not look so miserable. The girl was very beautiful, with long straight blonde hair. Was thin and looked as if she had smelled something horrible. She noticed that Darcy was staring at something, it was Lizzie. She could see that he had a small smile on his face, and she decided that although he offended Lizzie he most likely did not mean what he said. She certainly would think bad things when she was being pestered, but never spoke them. Alexa felt bad that she had not gone with Mary, but to make her presence known to one person, would most likely draw attention from others. She did not want to meet anyone she wanted to go home, so she left. It was not as if anyone had been looking for her anyways, and she would no doubt hear all about the party and the new neighbors tomorrow. As she got comfortable in bed, she could not stop thinking about the tall boy with blue eyes, Darcy.

***South Park Goth Kids**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 2

Fitzwilliam Darcy had always been an early raiser. Although he had arrived late last night, he could not help but to wake up at dawn. He made his way down stairs, everyone was still asleep, and made himself a bowl of cereal and decided to go for a walk, not wanting to wake anyone up. Eventually he came to a hill and he could see a lake in the distance and made his way to it. When he got there he saw a horse but no rider, and decided to get a closer look. When he approached the horse he stepped on a twig, and it snapped. He heard a noise coming from the lake, and saw a girl. She did not say anything; she just stared at him and stayed put. She did not say anything to him. He glanced towards the horse and saw a pile of clothes folded and he became embarrassed. After realizing that she was not going to say anything he apologized and told her that he did not mean to frighten her. She made her way to the shore and asked him to throw her clothes, she stayed in the lake while he put her clothes on the floor in front of her and he turned away. Once she was dressed he got a better look at her. She was at least a head shorter than he was. She was a little bigger than all of the girls he knew and he could see her curves as her clothes clung to her. She had auburn hair and green eyes, but he thought her to be very plain looking. She apologized as did he again and she thanked him. She mounted her horse and took off. He stayed for a while longer to enjoy the view of the lake and take in the fresh air. As he headed home he did not think too much of the girl other than he realized he had behaved incorrectly. He should have at least gotten her name.

When he entered the house Charlie's parents were already awake, then Charlie and Louisiana came downstairs. He made himself a cup of coffee, and sat down while the others ate breakfast. He was still adjusting to the idea of living with the Bingley's, sure he had stayed over plenty of times but now he would be living with them for a whole year. It was strange for him to be in a family, his mother having passed away 10 years ago, and his father had never been home, always busy with work. He was extremely close to his younger sister Georgiana who was two years younger than him. But she attended a boarding school in order to help her pursue her talent on the piano. When the Bingley's had told the Darcy's that they were going to move to the country, Mr. Darcy suggested that William join them so that the boys could finish their senior year together. He knew that his sister-in-law Catherine lived in the city a few miles from the town they were moving to, and that she taught at Meryton High, so if things did not work out for William with the Bingley's he could always move in with her. When he had informed her that Will would be moving to Meryton it took the promise of several visits from Will and the assurance that he would be placed in one of her classes to convince her that Will should live with his friend. He also knew that his brother-in-law and his wife were going to be traveling later in the year and would most likely leave their son Richard with the De Boughs.

Caroline made her way downstairs the family broke into conversation, and Will stayed his quiet usual self. The doorbell rang, it was the movers and they started to unload the rest of the furniture and boxes. While the family was getting settled, the next door neighbors John Lucas, and James Bennet came over to welcome them into the neighborhood and introduce themselves. Mr. Lucas informed the Bingley's that he was hosting a party to welcome them, and introduce them to the rest of the block. Mr. Bingley informed them he would not be able to attend, but that the rest of the family would be happy to meet the neighborhood. Once Caroline and her mother heard about the party, they made their way to the city to go dress shopping. "Just because they lived in the country did not mean that they had to dress like it.

* * *

It was the day of the party and Will did not want to go at all. He hated being around people he did not know. People who would pass judgment on them, and he knew that Charlie would make friends with the other kids as soon as he got there, and Will being reserved would be left out. He also dreaded having to deal with Caroline. Every party they had ever attended together she would be there by his side, holding onto his arm as if he belonged to her. Not to mention he always had to dance at least one dance with her otherwise she would complain about it all night. Luckily he would also ask Louisiana in hopes to discourage Caroline, but nothing seemed to work. He remembered trying to hide at a party once but she had found him. Now that he lived with her it was much worse. He knew that she did not like him for himself; he knew it was his family's money that she wanted. She was just like all the other girls he knew. They just wanted him because he was rich, and his good looks also helped. She was bad enough before, but now he could not get away from the constant flirting unless he was with her father. When they arrived at the parry, he was in a worse mood. Caroline had been hinting that she would not leave his company as she was sure that these country people would not live up to her standards. What was worse, he received and email from Georgie. Though the email appeared to be on a happy note, he could read between the lines. She was still depressed about Wickham, how he hated that man. He knew that he too was responsible for her misery, had he had just told her and his father about Wickham, maybe just a warning, all of their problems with him could have been avoided. He could never forgive himself for what happened to Georgie, remembering that day always made him depressed and angry.

They entered the Lucas house just as a song had ended and everyone looked at them and started to whisper. Mr. Lucas was the first to come up and welcome them, he then began to make the introductions with all of the neighborhood. Will could hear whispers of how rich the Bingley's were and he could also hear people whispering about him. Most were asking each other who he was, and he was surprised that some actually knew. They also seemed to know that he came from a wealthy family. He looked around and noticed that the mothers were fixing their daughters hair and checking to see if their makeup was fine. He even noticed some of the girls lowering their dresses. "Have to look your best, those boys are rich and cute, try to get them to dance with you." Could be heard throughout the mothers but he seemed to be the only one to notice. Will just wished he could ignore them, but he could not. He felt his temper rising and in comparison to the Bingley's he looked unfriendly and a snobbish. By the time Mr. Lucas lead them to his daughter Charlotte, his wife and another woman with two girls Will was past caring who he was being introduced to. He heard everyone's name but did not bother to look at them. Charlotte and Louisiana began to talk and Caroline joined them all walking to the refreshment table. The mothers started talking amongst themselves and Charlie immediately asked the more pretty of the sisters to dance, leaving him alone with Elizabeth. She asked him if liked to dance and he answered that he did not. She then asked if he liked the town and he replied that it was fine for a town in the country. After several more attempts, she eventually left and he was happy to finally be alone. He made his way to the wall and just observed everyone.

Half an hour had passed and he was still standing alone. He wished he had brought his own car, but then again he was living with them now. Charlie had finally spotted him and came over to try and get him to dance. He tried to tell Charlie that he was not in the mood, but was interrupted. Trying to convince him to dance with Jane's sister Lizzie, he glanced at her. He had seen her throughout the night by herself mostly. Just to get Charlie off his back he said the first thing that popped into his head. Charlie got the hint and left, and he watched as Lizzie passed him, and made her way to Charlotte. He could see her laughing and both of them looking at him. He looked at her for the first time. He regretted what he had said. In fact he hadn't really looked at her at all. But there was something familiar about her, he couldn't figure it out, he realized though that she was quite beautiful when she laughed, her eyes sparkled.

He stayed mostly to himself wondering what time the party would end, for him it could not be soon enough. Eventually Caroline made her way to him and wrapped her arm around his. He wished more than anything that she would just leave him alone. At least she had left him alone so far. She kept hinting that they should dance, and when he did not give in she spent her time criticizing everyone. He just kept glancing at Elizabeth. After another song had ended he made his way to where Charlie, Jane, Elizabeth, and her mother were standing. He could hear Mrs. Bennet calling Charlotte rather plain, and Lizzie trying to make her be quiet. When he got there Mrs. Bennet was telling Charlie, how beautiful Jane was and that she was the most beautiful in her class, both Jane and Lizzie blushed with embarrassment. The next dance started and everyone disassembled, the rest of the night Darcy just kept to himself. When they finally did arrive home everyone went straight to bed. As Darcy settled into bed, he could not stop thinking about Elizabeth's sparkling brown eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: When writing this chapter, I was trying to go into the reason for Lexie's depression, and explain why she takes pills. It is a window to her mind.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any right to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 3

It was the morning after the party. Lexie woke up earlier than usual, and did her daily routine. Wake up, stretch for five minute, get her clothes ready, take her pills, shower for fifteen minutes get dressed; eat a piece of fruit or toast. Then brush her teeth for two minutes and brush her hair for five minutes, then style her hair. Go for a jog with Lizzie or ride her horse. Come back and study, watch video's on her computer. She hated the days when she was aware that she lived her life by a routine, but it was what she knew. She made her way outside, and started walking. She wondered what time the family had gotten in, and how long they would probably be asleep for. They were probably one of the last families to leave if Rose had her way. That poor Darcy guy if he had arrived with the Bingley's instead of his own car. He would have had to stay until the last guest left seeing as the party was for them. She thought about him, and his eyes, she still could not place the color of those eyes. She inhaled the air, the coldness burned the inside of her nose and throat. She looked around and decided that she would go explore and try to forget the world as she would often do. She needed to calm her nerves, she had no idea why she would wake up feeling like the whole world was caving in, and there was nothing she could do about it.

The pills would always help, numb everything away, but sometimes, some days they did nothing. Nothing but solitude could help, and being in a house with six other people would drive any sane person mad. What Lexie hated the most was that she had something in common with Rose, Rose was always going on about her poor nerves this and her poor nerves that when she did not get her way, or was trying to. But that was the difference between them, Lexie did not complain to any one not even her doctor. She kept the bad feelings locked up, she did not like nor want to feel them. For one she did not want people to say that she was anything like Rose. She did not try to get sympathy from anyone, nor did she want it. She often wondered if Rose's anxiety was even real, or just a ploy. Rose did not need to take prescription medicine for her nerves and they always seemed to magically appear and disappear at the drop of a hat. All Rose took was Tylenol and she would feel better too soon for the pills to take any real effect. '_Maybe I should give her sugar pills next time'_ she thought to herself and giggled. Then she would know for sure and never have to feel guilty about getting on Rose's "Poor nerves" ever again. She laughed out loud this time.

She inhaled again and tried to clear her head. No use, she kept walking. Lexie knew that she was intelligent, talented, and better off than most of the people in her town, even her family. That was not to say that they could not achieve what she had. She was not conceited about it, she just knew. It was not as if _she_ ever rubbed it in people's faces as other people would have. She did not believe she was above anybody. She did not think she was better than them, she worked hard to be where she was. She knew that she had extra help because of her learning ability, but what you have is what you worked for. Her father and Rose came to mind. Their marriage did not work, and in return she had an absent father, and an overbearing mother. She did not understand why they got married, even when she was younger she knew her parents did not love each other. Maybe they had loved each other in the beginning. _'When did they become miserable?'_ she thought. She truly believed that it was when she and Lizzie were born. Rose would often say that Lexie was a mistake. Only one child should have been born. Fate of course would be on Lexie's side and make her second born. But she never dwelled on the thoughts of what could have been. It was what it was, she was what she was. *If love did not work for Rose and her father why should she expect it to work for herself? She knew that she would have to work to stay be and stay in a happy marriage. She worked on herself every day, but that was never enough, it never seemed to be enough. Could she handle something else to the list?

Why was she even thinking about marriage she wondered and feared that Rose's nonsense about finding a husband and getting married were seeping into her brain, she tried to push the thought away. It was not as if she ever had a boyfriend. She had only one male friend Stanley Hurst, he was more than just her friend, he was like a big brother. He protected her and showed her, Anne and Mary music, movies, books, and shows they would have probably never known of. He was one of her only friends, and she had never thought of him as anything but. She knew who he liked, but would never tell him or her. Anne De Bough was her best friend, they had met when she first started Silver M and the teacher sat them next to each other, they had been inseparable ever since. Mary Phillips was also their best friend, but she also happened to be Lexie's younger cousin. No boy had ever shown any interest in her, not in ta positive way at least. Nor did she like to draw any attention to herself. But she still figured that there was someone out there for everyone, right?

She stopped in her tracks and looked around. She had made her way near the Bingley's property. I must have walked about five miles she thought, and decided to head back. But first she just stopped to enjoy the view for a minute. It was beautiful, the leaves were changing color, the sky was clear, and some of the grass was still green. She reluctantly started walking backwards, and tripped over a rock. She hit the ground hard, she was happy no one was around to see her and laughed at herself, it was good when she could laugh at herself, Lizzie always did it, and sometimes she wished she could be more like Lizzie. If she were more like her sister though, she'd be a clone. Lizzie did not have the same "Great opportunity" that she did. Lizzie having skipped a grade was not at the top of her class, nor did she play the piano well, or a different instrument. Lizzie did not attend a private school, like she did. No she was not Lizzie, they were two different people. Lizzie did not have to take pills, she did not feel the pressure that Lexie felt. Lizzie was care free, very sociable, Lizzie was always happy, and Lizzie was lovable. Despite all of her accomplishments, Lexie did not think she was better than her twin, she envied her. She did not want to be like Lizzie but she did want to be happy. As she sat there in the ground staring into the sky, she realized that she could never forget the world for she would always be unhappy in it. She would always feel the pressure that she felt she would never be free. She had no idea why but she started to sing: Speak to me/ Breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Fingers crossed that I corrected all my typos. Sorry for the inconvenience, I also abhor typos in other stories, I just get carried away and do not notice what I have typed, my mind is already ahead of itself. Also I end up posting a new chapter before my husband has a chance to proofread. **

**Also someone asked for the ages, of the characters, where I live you have to already be 4 yrs. old by the time the school year starts which is the second to last week of Aug. (I'm not sure if this is the policy everywhere, but keeping that in mind): Lydia born in July 14-9th, Kittie born Nov. 16-10th, Georgie born March 16-11th, Mary born May 17-12th, Anne and Rich born Jan. 17-12th, Twins born in late Aug. 17-12th (they would be in 11th grade), Jane born Dec 18-12th, Charlie and Caroline born Oct. 18-12th, Will born Sept. 18-12th, George 19, Louisiana 20.**

**On another note thank you for those of you who are following this story. I never imagined that anyone would like this story, but even if I never get more followers, I will continue to write this story. I just hope that I don't can write my ideas well.**

Ch. 4

Darcy, was never more thankful towards Caroline, as he had been last night. Why wouldn't those families just leave! Wasn't it bad enough they had been there for four hours. Thank god that Caroline reminded her mother that they had to get a doctors check up and physical, before they could attend school. As soon as they got home, he made his way to his room, he heard enough of Charlie's "angel" on the car ride home. He also did not want to be reprimanded for his behavior. He could not sleep at all, he kept seeing her eyes. Why did Elizabeth Bennet invade his dreams. Her mother was, loud and silly along with her two younger sisters. He didn't even see her father until it was time to leave. He saw one girl sitting down all night and just read a book, who reads a book at a party! Although no one seemed to bother her.

Seeing as he could not sleep, he headed downstairs to eat some breakfast, and then decided to go for a walk to clear his head, hopefully forget about Elizabeth. As soon as he forgot about Elizabeth though, he remembered his email from Georgie, and felt bad that he had forgotten about her. He who was responsible for her pain, if only he had not let Wickham's character known to his father. Sure Wickham was leeching off of his family, and he was also a drug using, womanizer, who would lie, cheat, and steal, to get his own way, but he had thought that he was doing the right thing, by telling his father. He was wrong though. The last thing he thought though was that Wickham would stoop so low as to go after an innocent 15 year old girl. Georgie and he were like Wickham's siblings, they grew up together, his father even treated Wickham like he was his own son, better than him. He actually believed that his father did not love him. Darcy knew that he had a lot of his mothers features, but their was no mistaking he was his fathers son. His "father" would never spend time with him, even after his mother died. Thinking about it, he could not remember many happy memories that involved both his parents, or spending time together as a family. He could not even remember either of them ever saying that they loved him, or each other. He knew that his parents did not marry for love, like his Aunt and Uncle Fitzwilliam, they married for money and social status like his Aunt De Bough. Unlike his cousin Anne though he had a sibling, he had someone to look after, even though he was two years older than Georgie, he was more of a father figure, he took care of her, read to her, when she would have a nightmare she would go to him. She shared all of her problems and worries with him, he realized his father was not even around for her.

Darcy _knew_ that his father cared for him and Georgie, they were after all, his flesh and blood. His father even started training him for the family business since he was in middle school, and he knew that if anything should happen to his father, his father left him in charge of everything. He felt proud of that fact. It was a lot of responsibility, but he would work hard, his father knew that. His wish was for his father to be proud of him, he was always trying to make his father proud, he was the head of his class, he was a good man, and he never gave up, never let his feelings show, he tried to be like him in everyway. But he knew that there would always be one difference between them, when he got married it would be for love. He would not settle for anything less, and when he finally did have his own family he would put them first, and he would often tell them that he loved each of them, so that they could know that they were loved. He knew that he did not show his feelings to just anyone, he knew he was very reserved, only Georgie and Rich, and even Charlie saw past his mask. Although Rich was like a brother to him, he really considered Charlie to be his best friend, it was hard not to be, but he did not trouble Charlie with his problems, spending time Charlie took his mind off of his problems, he could just be a regular guy. He did not want to bother or trouble anyone, he did not want anyone to feel sorry for him, and he did not want to sound like a spoiled rich kid, who just complained all the time. He stopped walking as he came to the edge of the property, the view around him was beautiful, and decided to climb a tree to get a better look. Although he was a little rusty he made his way to the lowest sturdiest branch enjoying himself, and stayed sitting there for a while enjoying the view, breathing in the fresh air and the smell of the tree.

After a while, he decided to head back, and was trying to figure how to make his way down. When he looked around again he noticed that a girl was standing a couple of feet away. He could not see her face clearly but she seemed to also be enjoying the view. She started walking backwards and tripped on a rock. He heard her laugh, it was a beautiful laugh, but she just continued to sit there, and a new look seemed to appear on her face. She seemed sad, she just sat there, just thinking, and then she started to sing. He knew that he had heard the song, but at first he couldn't place it. Then it came to him, he knew it was a Pink Floyd song but he couldn't remember the name. She had a pretty voice, it was filled with emotion, and he felt bad, feeling as if he somehow invaded her privacy. As soon as she stopped singing he started to climb down the tree, halfway down her gasp startled him and he slipped and fell backwards. He stayed on the ground for a while, he was not physically hurt, but his pride was. He could hear her making her way towards him, "Are you alright, do you need any help?" He just stared at her. It was that girl from the lake, gone was the sad look in her eyes, but her face was a soft shade off pink. She broke their eye contact, and hand held out to help him up. He just continued to lay there a blush coming up on his cheeks, he took it, it seemed to startle her, like she didn't expect it. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you," she said talking to the ground. "You didn't... I just lost my footing."... "Oh."

* * *

"What song was it that you were singing?" She looked at him like he was crazy, and her face turned red, " I...Um. I-it was Speak to Me/ Breathe, Dark Side of the Moon...Pink Floyd."  
"You have a nice voice." "Thank you"..."I'm Alexa Bennet," she put her hand out to shake his, but was talking to the ground again.  
"I'm Will Darcy," he shook her hand. "Yes I know I was at the party last night."  
"Oh, I didn't see you there,... wait did you say Bennet? As in Elizabeth Bennet?"  
"Yes, she's my older twin sister. I can tell by your reaction, that I was not mentioned by anyone. But I was only there for a while...I um...  
heard you talking to um, Charlie? When he was trying to get you too dance..."  
He blushed and looked down, she had heard him insult her sister, her twin sister no less. "Oh...um I didn't think that anyone heard me. I wasn't in a good mood and I didn't really pay attention to anything." was all that he could say, hopefully she would understand that he hadn't looked at Elizabeth before making the comment.  
"Yes, I could tell you didn't want to be there. But no, I'm very positive that Rose would forget to mention me, plus if I was mentioned, it's not often that you hear of a family of five girls, with a set of twins who are nothing alike. But no one knew I was there, I got there pretty late, and decided to observe the scene for a while. Then I took off, I probably wont hear the end of it when I arrive back to the house, but if the people that the party was intended did not even know of my existence then what would Rose care if I was there or not?" She seemed to be saying this to herself more than to him. He also thought that she misunderstood what he was trying to say, but when he thought about her rant, she did say that her and Elizabeth were nothing alike, and they weren't. So he knew that she was not offended, but wasn't she offended for her sister?  
He was about to say something, but she started talking, "When one is in a bad mood, they often say things, that they do not mean. Especially if one is trying to be polite, at refusing to do something, is interrupted, and is kept trying to be persuaded into doing that something. Do you not believe?"  
He smiled a small smile, she understood, and did not take offence. "Yes."  
"Well I should really head back to the house, everyone should be awake by the time I get there. It was nice to meet you, we should really stop meeting this way though. Should we meet again that is." She held her hand out to shake his again.  
He shook, it and said, "What do you mean should we meet again, won't we see each other at school?"  
"Oh I understood that the Bingley's and assumed you would be attending Meryton High, I attend Silver Magnet."  
"Yes, I will be attending Meryton with Charlie and Caroline. Are you the only one who attends a different school?" Why did that other school sound ring a bell in his head?  
She smiled, like she knew something he didn't, "Yes. Although Lizzie and I will both skipped a grade, I'm the only one who attends a different school, she'll be a senior along with Jane."  
"Oh, ok, why do you attend a different school?" He saw a change in her façade, and she seemed to do what he often did when he was uncomfortable, put on a mask.  
She looked down at her watch, "Oh, I should really be going, it will take me a while to get back."  
"I can give you a ride if you like," he would like to see where Elizabeth lived, maybe he would run into her one of these mornings.  
"Um,... sure I guess, that is if you don't mind, I don't want to trouble you, I could always just jog back."  
"No! it's no trouble at all." "OK."

They headed towards the Bingley home walking in comfortable silence. He entered the house and she reluctantly followed him and stood by the corner of the entrance hallway. He said he just needed to get his keys, which were in his room, he told her to make herself at home, and ran upstairs. When he got back she was right where he left her, only she was looking at the painting by the door, she was entranced by it, and didn't notice him come back. The picture was Irises, one of many paintings and prints of irises by Vincent van Gogh. "It's called Irises," he said to make his presence known, she didn't take her eyes off of the painting. "I know," she said in a small voice, *"The lightning conductor for my illness, Vincent van Gogh, I've only seen it in a book, and on the web, it's really beautiful...Ready?" He led her into the kitchen, and into the garage. It was a black Chevrolet Camaro Z28. She just got in and buckled herself, the car ride was also spent in silence, the only time she spoke was to give directions. When they were about to reach her house she asked him to stop the car, and thanked him for the ride, and stepped out. He took the hint and just nodded his head. She didn't even look back and wave, nor did he give her a second glance.

On the way back to the Bingley's, he thought about how easy it was to be around her, and thought about the events this morning. He thought about the fact that she looked sad, when he saw her, the song she sang, and that she seemed to have a sadness in her voice and eyes, like Georgie. He thought about their conversation, and realized that although she did most of the talking, as he did not speak much, she did not dominate the conversation, nor did she try to get him to talk either. For some reason he thought of his cousin Anne, always quite, just kept to herself, and did not like to draw attention from anyone, especially her parents. Then he wondered if anyone in her family had mentioned her at the party, but thought that surely they must have, he just wasn't paying attention to anything last night. Which lead him back to thinking about Elizabeth, or Lizzie. He wondered if she preferred to be called Lizzie or if that was only a family name. He was excited to know that she was also a senior, and wondered if they would have any classes, together. Surely if she skipped a grade she was bound to be in AP classes. He thought of her laugh and her sparkling brown eyes, they were certainly a contrast to Alexa's. Although they did have similar facial structures, he would not have been able to tell that they were twins, just sisters. Also Alexa was quiet plain, where as Lizzie, was, well he didn't know exactly what she was, but there was something about her. All he knew for sure was that Lizzie was not plain.

***"The lightning conductor for my illness", Vincent van Gogh (He called the painting "the lightning conductor for my illness" because he felt that he could keep himself from going insane by continuing to paint)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This is Lexie's POV from the time that she spent with Will. Another window into her mind.**

**Disclaimer: I do not have any right to P&P they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 5

As Lexie headed towards the house, after will had dropped her off, she thought about earlier. That was the second time they had met and again they were both embarrassed...

Lexie heard a noise, coming from next to her, turned and saw Darcy climbing down a tree, she gasped. She wondered how long had he been there, did he see her fall? He must of heard her singing, and she could feel herself blush a little. He slipped and fell to the ground, she hesitantly made her way towards him, he just lied there. She asked if he was ok, and held her hand out to help him up. He just stared at her, she looked away, she kept her hand held out for what seemed like an eternity, she was going to pull it back, but he grabbed it. She apologized for scaring him, but he claimed that he lost his footing, all she could say was "Oh." He asked her about the song she was singing, and she couldn't believe that he had heard her, she felt herself fully blush, she must have looked like a tomato she thought. He complimented her voice, well he said it was nice, that was something right? But then what could he say she sucked? No she knew she wasn't bad, her teacher had said she had a lovely voice. All she could do was thank him, and decided to introduce herself. He said his name was Will, and she told him that she knew who he was and mentioned the party. Why did she mention the party, now they would have to talk about that. He said he didn't see her there, of course he didn't, no one did. He mentioned Lizzie, of course he did, he was staring at her after all. He seemed surprised that there was yet another Bennet, had no one mentioned her to the new neighbors? She explained that Lizzie was her older twin sister, and went on to tell him that she was there for a while, and that she had heard him insult Lizzie. Why not tell him, it was better to be honest. He blushed and looked down he looked really cute when he blushed, at least he seemed remorseful, she had wondered if he would try to explain himself.

He said that he had not been in a good mood, and didn't think that anyone had heard them. She decided not to tell him that Lizzie also heard him, but it was not her choice to tell him, if Lizzie wanted to let him know than she should tell him. He also said he hadn't paid attention to anything, again she honestly answered that she could see that he had not wanted to be there. She then started ranting about how she was positive that her family had not mentioned her existence to the neighbors. Especially Rose, Lexie was the black sheep of the family after all, if she was mentioned it was probably stated that she was the one in the middle, Lizzies twin sister, who was nothing like Lizzie, Lizzie was pretty and special. Lexie was just plain. Plus it's not often that you hear of a family with five daughters. But no one had known she was there, seeing as she got there late, and hung around for a while. She knew that Rose would not let her off the hook, but if the Bingley's did not know about her then what was the big deal. If Rose thought before she spoke, she would realize that it was her own fault she could have been "Oh my middle child, Alexandra is at practice, and is going to try to make it later. Or something, why did her Rose have to hate her, she didn't do anything wrong to warrant Roses resentment. Oh yes of course how could she forget, she was born.

He had been about to say something, and she had realized that although he did not directly apologize, that that was what he had meant when he explained about his mood. She had decided to let him know that she understood, and she was rewarded with a smile, he was also cute when he smiled. She knew they had nothing more to say to each other, and decided to go back to her house, by the time she would get back, the whole house would be talking about the party, and the new neighbors, and bla bla bla bla bla. She told him it had been nice to meet him, but they should stop meeting in ways where they were both embarrassed, if they should happen to meet again she corrected. BIG MISTAKE. He asked about school, she didn't like to tell people she went to Silver MH, she didn't want people to look at her different, she didn't like the attention. When he asked if she was the only one who attended a different school. She couldn't help her smile, why didn't people just ask what they wanted to know directly, she knew he wanted to know if he and Lizzie would be attending the same school. She told him what he had wanted to know. She did not expect for him to ask why she attended a different school. She became uncomfortable, she could feel herself going into her shell. She had to get away, avoid the question she looked at her watch, luckily she wore one. She said that she had to get back, it would be late by the time she made it there. Would anyone even care, would anyone notice? He offered to give her a ride home, his offer seemed genuine, and not like he was just trying to be nice, she accepted.

They made there was to the Bingley's home. They didn't say anything to each other, but it did not feel awkward. She hardly experienced this with anyone, it was nice, she didn't have to say anything, she didn't have to try and make a conversation, it was like she was with Anne, or Mary. He went into the house, and she followed him in. She stood in the corner, he said he just had to get his keys from his room, and he told her to make herself at home. Home, what was a home, and how do you make yourself at home when your not comfortable at your own house. She decided to stay where she was, he probably would not take long. From the corner of her eye she saw a painting. It was Irises by Van Gogh, it was one of her favorites, because of the story behind it. *It was painted while van Gogh was living at the asylum the last year before his death. It was painted before his first attack at the asylum. He called the painting "the lightning conductor for my illness" because he felt that he could keep himself from going insane by continuing to paint. She could relate, throwing yourself into something to keep you from loosing control, she was happy for music. Of course also she had her pills to help her for that, *a pill to make you numb, a pill to make you dumb, a pill to make you anybody else, but all the drugs in this world cant save you from yourself. She wondered what life would be like if she stopped taking them, but did not contemplate on it because Will had returned, she didn't even notice, the painting had her full attention, she had never seen it so big, just in books, and the internet. They made their way to the car, again they did not speak, she just told him where to go. Before they reached the house she asked him to pull over, and thanked him for the ride, and stepped out. He got the hint and took off. She had not wanted him to pull up into the house and risk someone seeing them. She did not want deal with Roses questions, nor did she want to have to answer any of them. She could almost hear her now, "Oh why did you have to inconvieniance him, couldn't you have just walked back, now they're going to think bad of us." Ugh, maybe she should have walked, and then maybe Rose would have gone somewhere to gossip with the other neighbors. But no, no such luck, it looked like Charlotte and her mother were already here.

***Coma White by Marilyn Manson**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to P&P, they belong to Jane Austen**

Ch. 6

As Lexie entered her house, she made her way to the living room, she could hear Rose and Mrs. Lucas in the kitchen. Charlotte, Lizzie, and Jane were sitting there talking, she said hello to everyone and asked how they were this late morning. Pleasantries were exchanged through out the group, and Charlotte was the first to ask about her absence at the party. She stated that she had gotten out of practice late, and decided that instead of showing up really late, she had decided to come here and sleep. "Did Rose seem upset Jane?" Lexie asked, for she knew by how Jane answered, what the actual answer would be. Though Jane would never admit it, if Rose was upset and complaining about Lexie, she would not lie, but word the answer differently. Lexie knew that although Jane had a sweet disposition, and lived her life with rose colored glasses, Jane would never say something that she thought would upset her. When she was younger she would be cautious of Jane's good nature, wondering what Jane's motive was, but she soon realized that this was how Jane was. She admired Jane for it, she wished she could see the world that way, but all she saw was black and white. "Like she would know, I doubt she paid attention to anything other to Charles Bingley," stated Charlotte.  
Jane blushed a deep shade of red, "Why would you say that Char?" Lexie asked smirking, it seemed that Jane liked Charlie as well as he seemed to like her.  
"Well they practically danced together the whole night," Charlotte said, and Lizzie pitched in, "Yea, and when they weren't dancing they were off to the side talking throughout the night."  
Jane just kept blushing, it was funny to see, "So what was he like?" I asked Lizzie, who was very proud of being able to judge people on first impressions and was normally correct.  
"He was very cute, tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, good-natured, kind and very friendly. Jane has my go ahead to date him."  
"Lizzie!" Exclaimed Jane with a red face. "Really?" Lexie asked, "What were the others like?"  
"Well his mom seemed nice enough, I didn't really talk to her, she was getting to know all the other moms. His twin sister Caroline although very pretty had her nose stuck in the air. Total snob and totally fake, she instantly made friend with some of the it girls from school." Jane was about to interrupt her again but she held her hand up. "The older sister Louisiana seemed boring, she didn't really talk to anyone, she stayed mostly by her moms side. Ugh! and Charles's friend, who is living with them, Darcy, he was hmm how can I say this nicely...rude, proud... a total snob and one of the most disagreeable guys I have ever met. I have no idea how Charles considers him his best friend, they are too different!"  
"Don't listen to her Lexie," Charlotte said, " Caroline, although I will admit was a bit snobbish, was rather nice. Of course she would make friends with the popular girls, it's where she feels comfortable. I really didn't get to know Louisiana because she was with her mom, but she seemed nice. She was probably just shy, not a lot of people her age were there. And Lizzie is just saying that about Will, because he wounded her pride." "What she probably wont admit, and forgot to mention was that Will, is really handsome, tall, blue eyes, dark hair."  
"HA!" "As if, I don't care that he said I wasn't pretty enough for him to dance with, he was a huge jerk before then! Can you believe that he barley talked to anyone, only the Bingley's, like he was too good to talk to us little people," said Lizzie.  
"He said you were not pretty enough to dance with?" Lexie asked. "Yea, and like I said I don't care, he was a jerk! I didn't want to dance with him anyways. And yes I'll admit that I thought he was cute."  
"Lizzie, I'm sure that Will didn't mean it. He didn't look like he was feeling to well, Charlie said that he was just shy," said Jane.  
"Jane that's just like you to never see the bad in anyone! Plus you and Lexie are shy and you guys never insult others!" Lizzie snapped.  
"She's just saying that maybe you shouldn't jump to any conclusions about the guy right away. Give him a chance and get to know him, he's probably a good guy. Like you said how could Charles be his friend if he was a bad guy!" Lexie snapped back. Everyone looked at her, it wasn't often that Lexie snapped. She had just gotten mad because Lizzie knew she was not shy, she was just introverted. She did not fear social encounters, just social gatherings. Lexie felt bad for not telling them about her encounter with Will this morning, she had not been shy around him, embarrassed but not shy, comfortable. Besides it was not her place to say anything. Lizzie should be the one to tell Will that she heard him, and Will should apologize to her, and explain, why he said it. For all anybody but Will knew, was that she wasn't even at the party, she didn't even know who Will was, but at the same time she liked to think that she knew him better than Lizzie. Lizzie would get to know him better of course but she liked that she had her own memories of a tall, muscular, guy with brown hair, and blue eyes, and she would not share those with her sisters, or friends.  
"Lexie...,are you?"  
"Besides all of you will be attending the same school, right? You're bound to be in some of the same classes." Lexie said cutting of Jane's question. She knew what the question was. She didn't want to answer it, she always avoided that question. Are you OK? She scratched at her arm.  
"She's right you know, you're not always so friendly yourself Lizzie," piped in Charlotte, trying to ease the tension.  
"Ugh! School! Don't remind me, dad is hinting at Jane and I to take some AP classes." Lexie again wanted to say something, again she subconsciously scratched her arm several times. Of course their father would not force his favorite daughter to do something she didn't want to.  
"They're not that bad really, sure it's harder, but you get college credit," Lexie said.  
They started talking about other things, and last nights party was soon forgotten, that was until it was lunch time.

They walked into the dining room, and Lexie said hello to Rose, and Mrs. Lucas. Rose asked her where she had been all morning, and Lexie apologized to Mrs. Lucas, "I went for a walk this morning before anyone woke up, and I got lost in thought. It took me a while to get back, and when I got here I did not want to interrupt your conversation." The answer seemed to suffice, and they started eating. "We missed you at the party," Mrs. Lucas said. Rose gave Lexie a sharp look but said nothing. Lexie bit the inside of her cheek, and again scratched at her arm, someone missed her? "I'm terribly sorry Mrs. Lucas, I went to practice and I got out later than I expected. It was such a shame too for Ro-my mother bought me a beautiful dress to wear just for the occasion."  
"Oh you were at practice! How lovely, I'm sure you don't need it though, you're already very talented." Lexie smiled, "Th..."  
Rose interrupted, her smile faded "Oh yes I know! I had told her that missing one practice would not be the end of the world, that it would not effect her playing at all, but no she refused to listen! Of course her father agreed with her, he's always pushing her to practice. But if you recall her last performance anyone can tell that she is good." Good? Lexie could feel her nails breaking the skin, but her face turned emotionless. She looked around the table, and no one was looking at her. She slowly inhaled, she hated days like this, when she couldn't control her nerves.  
Lexie knew it would be better not to say anything, nor did she want to, so she just stayed quiet. Luckily her father was at work and could not put in his two cents. Conversation continued, and Lexie was left alone, only speaking to Jane, Lizzie and Charlotte. She would even try to converse with Kittie and Lydia to avoid Rose. It wasn't often that she would talk to them, they were usually off somewhere together, like Lizzie and Jane, although Kittie followed Lydia around even though she was older. She often wondered if Kittie ever felt like she did, unnoticed, unloved, just there, getting by. An invisible shadow. She saw that Kittie wanted Rose's love, and their fathers attention. Kittie didn't realize that she was at least liked by Rose, maybe even loved, Lexie often wondered if Rose was capable of such an emotion. It was a step up from Lexie's relationship with Rose. Kittie could only see that Lydia was Rose's favorite, and that their dad, tried not to notice anything about them. Kittie should have realize that if she was not like Lydia, or at least acted with some civility that their father would probably show more interest in her. If she did feel that way though, she never showed it, and continued to act silly, and follow Lydia, trying to be like her, trying to gain her way into Rose's heart. Lexie did not think any less of her for it though, if Kittie wanted to try for the impossible, more power to her. Kitty thrived for her parents attention, and Lexie did not want it. Lexie and her younger siblings did not talk much at all. It was not for lack of trying on her end, she just knew how her family felt about her, she had learned to accept it a long time ago, and live her life as the outsider in her family.

No one can change how they feel, they can only change their perspective on the situation at hand. The cup is neither half empty, nor is it half full, it was both. You could complain in life, but it will never get you anywhere, all you do is bother people after a while. It was good to express how you feel, but once or twice was enough, if the person you kept complaining to didn't bother enough to listen the first couple of times, what did it matter to keep complaining. Her friends understood this, maybe it was just the way they were. They had been friends for a long time, Anne, Mary and she bonded over similarities in their lives. All three of their mothers did not hold them in the highest esteem, they each did not like to drag attention to themselves, and they each expressed themselves through art. Anne and Lexie, both knew what it was like to be under pressure, and to work hard for their accomplishments.

She knew how her family felt about her, but it did not affect her as it used to. She knew she could not change how her family saw her, all that should matter was how she saw herself. Lydia was pretty much like Rose, too vain, and shallow to care about her, she knew Lydia blamed her that she did not have nicer things, that they'd have more money if they did not have more mouths to feed, keep alive. It was no secret amongst her family and friends that she could already have graduated and gone to any college she chose. But it was a subject that was not talked about but she knew that were Rose's and Lydia's feelings. She had heard enough of them the first time. She also knew that if Rose did not have to buy things on a budget, she would most likely spend it on herself. No one understood that she needed more time. She was happy to have another year with her friends, the last year they would be together, for a long while. She would hate to admit it but she also needed another year with her family, it was all routine. She would not change her mind.

She had no idea why but, Kittie and Lydia were for some reason jealous of her, if they listened to her, or their father, they would know it took hard work to be where she was. Her father, Jane and Lizzie were proud of her and her accomplishments, along with her friends, the only difference was that her friends did not treat her like she was broken. Maybe that wasn't the word, fragile? Her friends understood her, and she understood them. They supported each others choices, her friends did not treat her different because she took pills, they did not judge the views that she had of her own family, or would never think any less of her and vice versa. They knew that they were proud of each other, and wished each other the best in life.

After lunch Rose and Mrs. Lucas announced that this year instead of throwing two birthday parties (One for the twins, and the other for Charlotte), they decided to throw one. Lexie was very happy, because it was going to be a small party with family and close friends. Since the twins birthday was on the 31st of Aug, and Charlotte's the 9th of Sept. The party would be on the 13th which was a Saturday. The small party was extended, to include the new neighbors, and of course Lydia, Kittie, and Maria,(Charlotte's younger sister) would be aloud to bring their own friends. Although Lexie got less excited, she knew it would pass. Anne, Mary, and Hurst were going to be there, all she had to do was ask.

"_Hi Anne!:) Are you back from your summer vacation? Clear your schedule for the 13th. Throwing a triple party, Char's and mine. Unless your mother has something planned. Let me know, I'll see you in a week!"-_Lexi

_"Hey Mary:}, I'm not sure if you heard through the grape vine about Char's and my party, but I wanted to personally invite you. I apologize for not attending last night."_-Lexi

_"Hurst, hello! Party for Char, and I. Mary will attend for sure. Anne's plans are unclear she needs to check her schedule first . Be a great awesome friend and go so that we may at least have a member of the opposite sex to converse with?...Also you will be required to dance;)"-_Lexi

**A/N: I'm not on expert. She's just a figment of my imagination. I also do not mean to offend anyone. This is just how I imagine her:**

**I'm not trying to make Lexie sound mean, I just like to think of her as introverted, eccentric, social cynicist, who has anxiety problems who low self esteem. With a anxious personality disorder. My train of thought is that this is how her parents deal with Lexie, they were not there for child hood emotionally, and she coped by not talking to anyone, giving everyone the silent treatment. Another factor was the changing of schools, being taken from her comfort zone. They saw a change in her behavior and took her to a physciatrist, who prescribed pills. I would imagine that she takes pills for anti depression, an antianxiety and something for her personality disorder. **  
**This chapter is a continuation from when she ran into Will the second time, and today she could feel her emotions, when her pills did not help her. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I was not originally going to write Lizzie's point of view, but I decided that for later on in the story, it would be great to include it. Also I apologize if this Lizzie seems OOC, but it will go more with my story. Also if this chapter seems rushed, I'm going to try and included her POV in a different form to go more with the story.**

Ch. 7

It was the day of the "Welcome to Meryton!" Party for the new neighbors, Lizzie was excited, she liked to meet new people, she just always got along with anyone she met. Her mother was an in uproar, making sure that all her girls, looked their best. "Have to impress the new neighbors, I hear they have a boy who's 17! And don't forget that they're rich!" It didn't dampen Lizzie's mood that Lexie would not be arriving with them because she had to go to practice. Well, Lizzie knew that Lexie did not have to go to practice, she just did not want to go to the party. But she knew that although her and Lexie shared the same birthday, and family, they did not have a lot in common. They both looked nothing alike, and the only things they did together was go for morning jogs, loved to read, and liked some of the same music. She was closer to Jane than she was to Lexie, Lexie was just to melancholy for Lizzie. Wasn't that what her pills were for, so she could at least be happy? Not to say that Lizzie did not love her twin sister, she did, but she preferred to be in Jane's company, or her father's. She loved to spend time with her father, she knew she was his favorite. They talked about mostly everything, and what she did not talk to him about, she would share with Jane. She would often talk to Lexie, because she knew that Lexie was only close with her. Lexie did not really talk to the rest of the family, she barley spoke to their mother, she hardly spoke to Kittie and Lydia. Lizzie did not speak to them often, but it was more than Lexie would share. Lexie would speak to Jane, but not as much as Lizzie, and their father would mostly talk to Lexie about her studies. To Lizzie it was a step up from when they were younger and Lexie had to change school.

Lizzie could not understand why Lexie was the way she was. Lexie had a lot to be happy about, Lexie was pretty, very intelligent, a talented violinist, she could play the piano better than she could, and her voice was really beautiful. Lizzie almost felt plain compared to Lexie, but she could not. She was proud of Lexie, as she should be, Lexie worked hard to be where she was at, and although Lizzie knew Lexie did not see herself as pretty, Lizzie did see herself that way. She did not believe that she was vain, she knew she was not as beautiful, as Jane, but she knew she was and felt pretty.

When they arrived to the party, the Bingley's had not shown up yet. How rude she thought, the party was for them. Only 10 minutes had passed since they had arrived, she was talking to Charlotte, her mother was gossiping with the other mothers of Meryton, she did not know where her father was, and Kittie and Lydia were off flirting with two guys who were too old for them. When the Bingley's had arrived a song had just ended, and the whole room was quiet, and stared at them. Lizzie asked Charlotte for information on the two boys who would be attending school with them. They were both tall, but the one with dark hair was taller. He caught Lizzie's attention immediately. Mr. Lucas had gone up to greet them, and then soon they made there way to where Charlotte and she were. She did not know when her mother and Jane had come from but she figured her mother had been keeping an eye on the Bingley's, and poor Jane just went along with her mother. Her mother introduced Jane first as the first born, and then Lizzie as the second eldest, then that Kittie and Lydia were off dancing. Everyone but Lizzie and Darcy had soon left and Lizzie asked if Darcy liked to dance, he had just said, "Not if I can help it." Lizzie tried to make small talk but, he would just reply in short answers, and soon she left.

Later she was by the refreshment table, and she heard Charlie talking to Darcy. She did not want to eavesdrop but she wanted to know if Charlie would talk about Jane. She had seen the way he looked at her sister, and Jane at him. She smiled when Charlie called Jane and angel, but her smile faded a little when Darcy called her tolerable, but not good enough for him to dance with. She was angry, she knew she wasn't like Jane but, nor was she ugly. She decided to laugh it off and go tell Charlotte. She had to pass Darcy and just smiled to herself. When she got to Charlotte, she told her what she overheard, and they both started laughing and looking at Darcy. She saw that he saw them, and she hoped that he figured they were laughing at him. Charlotte tried to comfort  
her but Lizzie played it off. "I wouldn't dance with him if he was the last guy on earth." She later saw Caroline, and Darcy together, and figured that they were a couple. Perfect for each other she thought. They both looked like they were in pain, and had there noses stuck in the air.

She was standing with her mother, Jane and Charlie, being there to filter her mother if needed, and she was correct. They had been talking about Charlie and Jane dancing, and Charlie mentioned that he did enjoy dancing and that Charlotte was a really good dancer. Her mother stated that yes although Charlotte was a charming girl, she was rather plain looking. Lizzie tried to tell her mother something but her mother cut her off and stated that Jane was really beautiful, and was considered one of the most beautiful girl in their class. Darcy had come up to them but said nothing. Lizzie could see Jane blush a deep red, and imagined that she looked the same. A new song started and everyone split up again.

Although they had not made it home too late, they were all too tired and went straight to bed. Lexie was in her bed, and Lizzie soon joined her in slumber. The next morning Lizzie woke up to an empty room. She figured that Lexie had decided to go horse riding and decided that she would go for a walk, around there house. She could not stop thinking about Darcy's comment, and how she disliked him. She hoped that she would not see much at him at school, and hopefully did not have him for any classes. She was happy that Jane got along with Charlie and although she hoped that they would date, she hoped that it did not mean to would have to see Darcy. She walked around her home several more times and by the time she went back everyone was awake, and had eaten breakfast. She sat through her mother telling her dad about how lovely and well dresses all the Bingley's were. She had thought it rude for Mr. Bingley not to show up, and how Charlie had danced mostly with Jane. She felt bad for her father, he really did not care, but was forced to listen, just like the rest of them. Then her mom started talking about how rude, and proud Darcy had been, and mentioned that he insulted Lizzie. Eventually her father had to go to work, and everyone set off on their own but Lizzie and Jane. Lizzie just mostly listened to Jane talk about Charlie, and she was happy to let her. She was happy to see Jane so happy. Their mother had called on Jane to bring her some medicine for a headache that Kittie and Lydia were causing. Who knows what they were arguing about this time. Then they started to pick up the house a little, because Charlotte and her mother were going to stop by, and gossip about last night and who knows what, Lizzie laughed at the thought.

Charlotte and her mother arrived and the moms went to go talk in the kitchen and Charlotte joined Lizzie and Jane in the living room, they were talking about Jane and Charlie when they heard someone come in. It was Lexie, she joined them in the living room, and started talking to the. They started to talk about the party, and when Lizzie was asked her opinion, and she honestly gave it. She was a little surprised when Lexie snapped at her, and that she seemed to be on Darcy's side! Lexie was suppose to be on her side, they were twins after all, he was in a way also insulting her. She saw a worried look on Jane's face, and that she was about to ask Lexie if she was ok, but Lexie cut her off. She always wondered why Lexie avoided that question, why did she not talk about herself, why did she never talk about her feelings. Lexie mentioned school, it was not a topic she did not want to think about, she was enjoying greatly the last of her summer vacation, soon, she would be preoccupied with classes, finals, and where and if she would attend collage after she graduated. Her father had also been hinting that she should take a couple of AP classes, and she did not want to think about it until another week.

They soon sat down to eat lunch with Charlotte and he mother, afterwards the mothers announced they were going to through the her and Charlotte a triple birthday party. She was so excited, she could not wait, even though they had to wait a couple of weeks. She was a little disappointed when it was mentioned that the Bingley's would be invited, which meant that Darcy and Caroline would also be there. But she was going to have Charlotte and Jane there to celebrate. Lexie would at least have Mary to converse with, she was happy that although Lexie did not like to meet new people, that she had a few friends, that would be there so she could enjoy the party.

**Another A/N: Just so I don't confuse anyone, because I got a little confused:**  
**1. Lexie refers to her mother as Rose, and Lizzie does not**  
**2. Lexie refers to her house as just that a house and Lizzie will refer to it as her home.**  
**3. Lexie calls Darcy Will, and Lizzie calls him Darcy.**  
**Also I did not mention much about Lexie's absence in Lizzie's POV, because to Lizzie it's not unusual that Lexie was not around. Also when I put "Lexie was just to melancholy for Lizzie. Wasn't that what her pills were for, so she could at least be happy?" it was to say that Lizzie does not understand Lexie. In her POV, Lexi and she grew up in the same house, and although she did not change schools, she does not see how they had turned out so different. I believe that Lizzie would have done fine at a new school. Lizzie does not see the world as Lexie does, and I feel that a lot of people do not understand why people take medication, for depression. "It's all in their head" kind of attitude, and Lexi does not talk to her family about her emotions, only her friends. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to the great Jane Austen, I just borrowed them for my story**

Ch. 8

The next week before school was pretty uneventful, the Bennet women along with Charlotte and her mother had gone to the city for back to school shopping, and to buy things for the party. All but Lexie got new clothes, as Lexie's school used uniforms and hers still fit, and 'looked new'. Rose had also bought a new dress for Lizzie, and Lexie as a birthday gift. Lizzie got an olive green spaghetti strap dress, that cut off above her knees, the skirt flowed out from her waist, she looked beautiful Lexie thought, it brought out her eyes. While the others had been shopping for party supplies, Lexie had walked to a Saver's, just to look around. She really liked to buy clothing from there or a Goodwill, she would often find really good clothing for a really good price. Even Jane and Lizzie had started to shop there. She was looking at the dress rack, and she saw a lavender looking color dress that caught her eye. It was silk, and had tiny gold stripes going up and down the dress, long sleeved and knee length. She tried it on, it was her size, she felt pretty, a smile graced her lips. It was loose, but you could make out her curves,there was an elastic around the waist, and at the neck to the shoulder on one side there were little pearl like buttons, and a two straps at the neck to tie a small bow. The sleeves were also loose, and a little shy of her wrist but also had the pearl buttons, to enclose around her arm. Although Lexie was never concerned about such a thing before, she had wanted to look pretty, she liked the feeling. She asked the cashier to hold it for her so that she may get Rose. She had to try it on again, before Rose would approve, "It looks decent I suppose, it is YOUR birthday, if you want to wear that, who am I to stop you?" Although Lexie's relationship with Rose was none existent, Lexie knew that Rose was too proud to ignore how people saw Lexie she was in the family after all. She did not take offence at the slight, if she looked ugly Rose would have not been shy to say it. Rose's attitude towards Lexie to the public was different towards her own personal views. Rose would often boast to her friends about Lexie's accomplishments. Lexie knew it was just to show off: Jane was beautiful, Lizzie was pretty, and had that spark that made her loved by everyone, Lexie was accomplished, Kittie was not like Lexie, and Lydia was her favorite. To Rose appearances were everything, which Lexie thought was funny. When had Rose ever held her tongue, or left a party sober? When had she ever told Kittie and Lydia anything about their behavior?

Anne had let Lexie know that she would not be able to attend her party, her mother invited her cousin over and he had decided to visit her that day, and her mother insisted that she be there to be there to keep him company. She understood, Mrs. De Bough could be a little overbearing and judgmental, she had an opinion about everything, and she liked to get her way. When she had first met Mrs. De Bough, Anne had said that her mother insisted that she meet Lexie, if the girls were going to be friends. Anne had looked so worried when she 'extended the invitation', but Lexie assured her it was fine. Luckily Mrs. De Bough approved of her, she knew that even had she not, Anne and she would still be friends. It was the first time she had seen Anne so quite, but she found out that Anne would often stay quiet around her mother which was not hard to do since she dominated the conversation, and Anne would often pretend to be ill to avoid her. Anne's father was not around as much, he could not bear the presence of his wife either. Anne loved him, he would spend time with Anne when she was "sick" which was pretty often. Lexie was not upset at all, she knew this was how Anne was with her family. She would still have Mary there and Hurst had already said he would have to attend in order to keep the girls entertained.

The first day of school came and Lexie was happy, she would get to see Anne, and hang out with Mary and Hurst. Her father would drive her to the city in order to attend school. They usually would stay quiet, but every now and then he would ask about her studies and music. Anne, Hurst, and her had several classes together, and although Mary was a junior, they shared music class together. They would all be together for lunch as usual. She found out that Will was Anne's cousin, (she had found herself telling Anne and Mary about Will and the Bingley's). Although they did not say anything to Lexie, they knew that she had a small crush on Will. She had seemed a little upset when she found out that Will and Anne would not be there, but it quickly faded. They even wondered if she even noticed it. They had never seen her so animated about anything other than her music, and each of them. Anne had thought it was strange that Will would pick the specific day of the party to visit her mother. Will hardly spoke to her and she knew Will did not like her mother, but because they were related, he would visit. Anne had decided that she would find a way to get to the party and for Will to accompany her, Lexie would be surprised she deserved to be happy on her birthday.

Lexie and Mary would stay after school to practice, and then her Aunt Grace Phillips would pick them up and take them to the Philips household. Sometimes Lexie would wait for her father to pick her up, or her aunt and Mary would take her home. Grace was Roses older sister, and the two were extremely close, like two peas in a pod. Just like Rose and Lexie, Grace thought that Mary, who looked more like her father, was really plain and boring, and was not too shy to admit it. Grace had not married for love but for conveinense. Although the Gardiner's came from some money, John Phillips was a lawyer. The sisters favorite past time was to talk about shopping, television, complain about their husbands, the neighbors: the latest gossip around town and in the city, Rose bragging about her favorite daughters, and at the bottom of the list were Mary and Lexie. From a very young age Mary and Lexie had gravitated each other, especially more so when Lexie started going to Silver M. H. When she met Anne, their trio was complete. They had developed there own sign language, so that they could continue to be ignored, and communicate with each other, without anyone being the wiser.

Two weeks passed, and things continued the same, Lexie and Lizzie continued to jog on the weekends, she did not see or run into Will again. The day of the twins birthday, the girls decided to forego there jog and walk around the garden. They talked about old memories that they both shared, but had different points of view. For Lizzie they seemed happy and normal, but Lexie's perspective they seemed sad, and harsh.  
"I like how mom always cooks us or favorite dishes for our birthday," Lizzie had said.  
_"YOU MEAN YOUR FAVORITE DISHES_," Lexie thought, "Yea, me too." She smiled a little.  
"Oh! Remember when that carnival came to town, and we got to ride the pony! I was so scared dad had to hold onto me to get me to ride it!" Lizzie chuckled.  
"_I REMEMBER THAT I WAS SCARED TOO, THE LINE WAS TOO LONG AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT AGAIN SO I HAD TO HOLD ON BY MYSELF._" She thought again. "Yes, have you ever been on a horse since?" Lexie asked trying change the subject.  
When they went in for breakfast, Rose had made waffles, one of Lizzie's favorites. They all said "Happy Birthday!" Lizzie got hugs and kisses, Lexie got a hug from her father and Jane, and a half hug from Rose, Kittie, and Lydia. They finished eating, it was Lexie's turn to do the dishes, Jane had of course offered, but Lexie told her that if she was receiving a gift from her already she would do them. They had decided to watch family videos of the twins. One year, of their birthday they were blowing out the candles, and Lizzie pushed Lexie's face in the cake, everyone started laughing, her eyes widened but she did not cry. "Lizzie what did you do!?" her father asked in a teasing angry manner. Lexie got a handful of cake and smashed it in Lizzie's face. She shoved her hand into her face, and Lizzie started crying. "Alexa!" "Why would you hit her!" "Look at what you did she's crying!" were heard from faceless voices, all of them upset.  
One video cut in on Lexie singing along to a song she did not recognize, then a voice "Look at how Lizzie's dancing!" the camera went straight to Lizzie, she looked cute, smiling and laughing, making up her own dance, in her own world. Lexie stopped singing no one noticed. The videos that did include Lexie, continued on in the same fashion, Lizzie in the spot light. It did not bother Lexie, she just sat there while the rest of her family, laughed and teased them. She smiled when they would look and speak to her. She was numb to those feelings, and she was glad, they were just another brick. The rest of the day was uneventful, and soon it was Monday, they just had to wait two more weeks for the party and their gifts.

It was the day of the party, it was going to start at 6PM and the Benet women had to be at the Lucas's by 4 to get the place ready. The party originally the Lucas's, Bingley's, Bennet's, Philips's, Anne, Hurst, and a couple of extra guest, went on to include their other neighbors, the Foster's and Denny's. Lizzie had wanted to go for a walk today, and Lexie decided to ride Aries. They made there way into the fields, and then broke off into a sprint, and then a full run. She loved the feeling of the wind against her face, her only wish was that she could lift her arms up in the air and fly. They had come to a stop, and she looked out into the fields, at a distance she saw two men also riding their horses, and they looked like they were racing each other. Although she could barley see them, they were close to the Bingley's house, and she figured it was Will and Charles. She watched them for a while, and when they stopped to look around it looked like they had seen her. She didn't get to find out because she decided to turn her back to them and head home. She would meet Charles at the party later and she would encounter Will again one of these mornings. She got back and took a shower, everything was pretty calm until noon when Rose started to get each girl ready, and make sure they looked nice. Lexie was one of the first ones ready, she smiled again at herself. Gathering her courage, she asked Jane if she could help her to put make up on, and fix her hair. Jane seemed surprised, but just smiled widely and agreed to help her. When Jane finished Lexie couldn't believe how she looked. Jane had parted hair to one side and then put the back half into a ponytail. Turned the ponytail into a bun and curled the hair in the front half, and then pinned it up to the bun. She had on eyeliner, cherry red lipstick, and a little blush. She pulled Jane into a tight hug.  
"Thank you! Thank you so much Jane!" Lexie said.  
"You look really pretty Lexie. I'm glad you asked for my help it was nice." Jane smiled at her.  
"It was nice," Lexie smiled.  
She waited in her room, while everyone else finished getting ready. As she was making her way downstairs, everyone but Jane stared at Lexie, she could feel every ones eyes on her. Lizzie told her she looked really pretty and her father was smiling at her, Rose said nothing. They arrived at the Lucas's and they all stared at her in disbelief too, Charlotte and Mrs. Lucas told Lexie she looked really lovely and Lexie thanked them. Before the party was about to start she made her way to the restroom, and took off the lipstick, but it stained her lips a dark pink. The Philips's had arrived, followed by the Foster's, and Denny's. Hurst arrived a short while after along with the Bingley's. Maria, Lydia, and Kittie's friends Mary King, and Carlie Sanders arrived, and last but not least Anne and Will showed up. The people who had known Lexie could not help but to stare at her and smile when they first saw her, but said nothing. The most excited was Anne, but she did not show it, she was happy that she had dragged Will along, and decided to keep an eye on how her friend and cousin interacted. Will and Anne had made there way to the Bingley's who were surprised to see him. Will introduced Anne to them and Anne explained that Lexie was her friend from school.  
When the Bingley's were approaching Rose and Lexie, along with Will and Anne, Rose could be heard telling Lexie, "Don't embarrass me, and smile like you're pretty!"  
Everyone pretended not to notice, but when they met Lexie's eyes she was genuinely smiling, she looked and felt pretty. She greeted each of them, and thanked them for coming. "It's nice to finally meet you, we've heard a lot about you." Mrs. Bingley had stated.  
Lexie kept her smile but it faded from her eyes, and she placed her mask on. "Thank you Mrs. Bingley, I am sorry I could not attend your welcoming party, I was other wise engaged."  
She replied, "Oh yes! She was at violin practice! Her teacher says she's one of the best she's ever seen!" Rose added.  
They all just smiled, "These are my children, Louisiana, Charles, and Caroline, and this is William Darcy, he will be staying with us for the rest of the school year. I know that you haven't met as you go to Silver Magnet," Mrs. Bingley stated with a hint of spite.  
"It's nice to meet you all, yes I do go to school there on a scholarship, and I met Anne, and my other friend Stanley Hurst." Lexie replied, calmly and nodded her head towards Hurst who was talking to Mary.  
They had been looking on, and Mary could see that Lexie was in need of a distraction, and they made their way towards them. Hurst introduced himself to the Bingley's, Will, and said hello to Anne, along with Mary. Mr. Bingley had ask Hurst if his father was Samuel Hurst the lawyer, and when he replied yes, they stated talking, and the whole group broke into smaller groups. Rose and Mrs. Bingley joined the other mothers, Louisiana stayed with her father who was still talking to Hurst, Caroline, Charlie, and Will went to go greet Jane, Lizzie. Anne, Mary, and Lexie made their way to a corner, "I thought that you weren't going to come! How did you manage to drag your poor cousin here?" Lexie asked Anne, while she hugged her.  
"Oh you know if someone is bored enough you can convince them to do anything." Anne replied. "You really do look pretty Lexie, I'm glad I did not miss your party after all. I would have had to been here to believe you actually wore make up ad did something different to your hair!"  
"I know, damn photoshop, you can never know what is real anymore." Lexie smiled with her eyes.  
"Gee, Hurst and I lie to you once, and we not reliable witnesses." Mary said pretending to be hurt.  
"We really should save Hurst from Mr. Bingley, he looked like a dear caught in headlights, when we left him there." Anne said.  
"He knew what he was getting himself into when we went over there," Mary said.  
"Attention everyone!" Charlotte was saying to all the guest, "Lizzie has agreed to play a little something on the piano, please a round of applause, Charlotte said trying not to laugh. Lizzie did not play too well, and her voice was pretty good, but when she played one could not help but look upon her and enjoy her performance. Everyone clapped and she curtsied and bowed.  
Grace of course who had started boasting about Mary's expert playing, insisted that she play a song. Mary's face was indifferent, but her eyes betrayed her. Lexie walked with her to the piano, and stood by her while she played. Mary decided to play Requiem, and half way through Kittie and Lydia interrupted her playing, demanding that she played something that could be danced to. Everyone stared at Mary, and Lexie could see that she was starting to panic. She went up behind her and whispered in her ear, and put a hand on Mary's shoulder they gave each other strength. Lexie started to snap her finger to set the tempo and Mary started playing, and she closed her eyes, and sang. Hurst and Anne had made their way to the center of the room and started to slow dance. They were joined by Charles and Jane, and then the others. She opened her eyes and just stared at Mary's hands as her fingers hit each note, and got lost into the performance. They forgot about the people who stared at them, when the song ended everyone clapped. Rose was about to say something, but stopped when someone turned on the radio.

Lexie and Mary made there way back along the wall, Hurst had started dancing with Louisiana and Anne came to join them. "What a lovely performance Mary, Lexie, you two were wonderful."  
"Thank you Anne, and Lexie." Mary replied softly  
"Think nothing of it Mary, you would have done the same, if Rose would have had her way no doubt I'd also be required to play. Besides what are friends for?" Lexie said glancing towards the mothers. "I also thank you Anne, and would thank Hurst but I fear he has abandoned us."  
They all glanced towards Hurst and Louisiana dancing, they were both smiling, and talking like they were old friends.  
"Yes, it seems like we will be forced to be wall flowers for perhaps the rest of the evening," replied Anne.  
"We should really ask him to leave if he's not going to fulfill his duty." Mary said.  
"You wouldn't be talking about me would you?" Asked Hurst smirking.  
"Of course we are, Mr. Arnold, I seem to remember mentioning that you were to keep us company throughout the night." Replied Lexie, "But of course I should have known that you would stray for a pretty face."  
Hurst almost laughed, but kept his composure, "Well since I'm going to be asked to leave, it only stands to reason, that my last and final dance be with Mary." He held out his hand and Mary took it, and went off to dance.  
"You would think that that honor should go to you, it is your party after all." Anne said.  
"Yes should I also cry if I want to?" Lexie asked.  
"As if you're capable of such a thing?" Anne replied. "Maybe I can convince William to dance with you, if you did want to dance."  
"Save you're abilities for something else, I have a feeling that your cousin seems very willful when it comes to getting him to dance." Lexie responded looking at Will, he was talking to Caroline and glancing at Rose. Rose and Grace could be heard laughing very loudly.  
"Yes, just like someone else I know," Anne smiled a little. Just then Caroline came over and started to talk to Anne, about her family and fashion. Anne signaled for Lexie to leave, Lexie went to get some punch. She knew Anne was going to act like Mrs. De Bough, she did a really good job at it too, it was her way of dealing with people she did not know. Several dances had gone by, and she made her way to a different part of the room and observed everyone, Hurst was dancing again with Louisiana, Lizzie and Charlotte were dancing together, Lydia and Kittie with the Foster boys, Maria, Mary King, and Carlie were talking to Rick Denny. Jane and Charles were talking in one corner. The mother's were talking and drinking, Mary was no where to be seen, probably off with the men, Anne was still talking to Caroline, and Will was looking at Lizzie. She made her way outside, no one would miss her.

She looked out at the stars which had just come up, it was dark, and she could feel a chill, but did not want to go back inside. She just hugged herself and inhaled deeply. From behind her the door opened and closed, but she didn't turn to see who it was, she just kept looking at the stars. She felt someone drape something over her shoulders, "It's a little too late to be gentleman like is it not?" She turned thinking it was Hurst, it wasn't, it was Will. "Oh I'm sorry I thought you were Hurst," she said taking off the clothing he placed on her and handing it back to her.  
"It's ok, I'm not cold. I saw you come out here and figured you would need it." He said.  
"Thank you," was all she could say and blushed. "I thought we had agreed to stop meeting in situations where I end up being made a fool of. Although this was my fault again, just like the other times. But thank you again for your help." She slightly smiled.  
"Are you feeling well?" He asked.  
Her smile faded, "Why do you ask? Have I done something to make you think otherwise?" She replied a little coldly.  
"It is your birthday party, and I haven't seen you dance or talk to anyone other than your friends." He stated.  
"I do not like to do anything that draws attention to myself, I-" her eyes widened and she looked away.  
"I feel I can agree with you, I do not like to put myself in a position to be openly ridiculed." He said.  
Her small smile came back, "Yes, but where we differ I believe is that, you always have some ones attention, and I do not. I'm very positive that no one but you noticed my disappearance, and probably wouldn't notice until I am needed for the cake." She said.  
He was going to say something but she cut him off, "In fact I am very positive that at least two people have noticed your disappearing act, and if they look for you they'll find me. You should head back in, I'll go in a little afterwards. Thank you for the sweater," she said handing him back sweater.  
"You're welcome," he nodded and went back inside, not taking the sweater with him.  
She put the sweater on stayed outside for a while longer and headed back inside when the music turned off and heard Rose screeching "Cake time!" She went inside and everyone but Anne, Hurst, Will and Mary were gathered around the table surrounding Charlotte and Lizzie, no room left for her. They lit the candles and started counting down to start singing, she was just going to stay by the door until they finished singing and then head back outside. _*NO LIFE AT ALL IN THE HOUSE OF DOLLS, NO LOVE LOST, NO LOVE LOST._ She saw Anne give Mary a little push. "Wait! What about Lexie?" Poor Mary everyone stared at her, "I'm sorry I was outside." She said looking down to avoid every ones gaze. Room was made for her and everyone sang to the trio. When the candles were blown out, and the cake was served Caroline decided to point out that she had Will's sweater on. She placed on a steely façade and said she just grabbed whichever sweater was hanging on the top as she headed outside. She didn't think anyone would mind. Caroline looked at her as if she had grown two heads, and replied that why should she care, it's not hers. She didn't want any cake or ice cream and just headed back outside. Anne, Mary, and Hurst joined her for a while, and then lead her back inside, she was happy they were there, she smiled for them and fed off of their support. Soon it was time for the presents, everyone but Anne, Hurst and Mary, and Will gave her a card and money. She kept her smile and thanked everyone for the money, and lovely cards. She gathered her gifts from her friends and went to a corner to open them. Anne gave her one of her paintings, it was a landscape of trees, the leaves were changing color, and some of the trees were bare. Hurst gave her movies that she had wanted but knew she could not ask for (The Wall. Requiem For an American Dream, A Scanner Darkly) Hurst had lent them to Anne, and the girls had seen them when Lexie would sleepover. Mary had given her two music books for the piano, and Will had given her a sweater, it was her favorite color, purple. She knew Anne had helped him pick it, they had showed up last minute, and she thanked her. Anne denied that she assisted in anyway, but was smiling. She gave each of them a big tight hug, expressing her thanks, and her love for each of them. She made her way to where Will was and handed him back his sweater, thanked him for his gift with a smile. Soon after Anne and Will left to go back to the De Boughs, Hurst stayed until the Bingley's stayed, talking to Louisiana. The Foster's and Denny's left and then the Philips's, after the mess had been cleaned up Rose, her father, Jane and she headed back home. Lizzie was going to stay the night with Charlotte, and Kittie, Lydia, Maria, and Carlie were going to go spend the night with Mary King. On the way home, she thought about Will, he had noticed that she went outside, and it had again been easy to talk to him even though she had embarrassed herself again. She thought about his gift, it was nice of him to get her something, along with Charlotte and Lizzie. She smiled to herself, and thought that this was one of the best parties she had ever had.

***No Love Lost by Joy Division **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter, through some technical difficulties I lost my original draft which I thought was much better and had to rewrite it from scratch, but I tried my best. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 9

There was one week before school started and Will had not seen any member of the Bennet family, but could not stop hearing about Jane from Charlie. There was to be a party held for Elizabeth, Alexa, and Charlotte a couple of weeks into the beginning of school, he of course had not wanted to go, Elizabeth still haunted his dreams and he was determined to spend as little time around her as possible. It frustrated him that he could not stop thinking about her, and he had no idea why. Luckily for him his Aunt Catherine had wanted him to go and visit, and his father had suggested that he do so, in case things did not go too well with the Bingley's and he would be able to stay with the De Boughs. Although he would see his aunt at school he decided to oblige her and visit her on the day of the party. He had told Charlie that his aunt had wanted him to visit and that he would not be attending the party, Charlie did not even question him, he knew that family was everything to Will. Charlie did not know though that Will did not really like visiting his Aunt Catherine, he had never met her, and Will did not talk too much about his family. Charlie knew that Wills mother had passed away when he was eight, and that his father was an absent one. He knew that the person Will loved and cared for the most was his sister Georgiana, and his cousin Richard was next. He cared for his Fitzwilliam family members, but he did not speak of his De Bough family. All Will had said about them was that his aunt taught at Meryton High, she had a daughter named Anne and he said nothing about his uncle. Caroline still tried to situate herself around Will, sitting next to him, trying to get him to talk to her, and trying to flaunt her body to him. He took it all in stride, it was better than living with the De Boughs he thought.

His Aunt Catherine was an overbearing, nosey, judgmental, tyrant, who loved to get her way. She dominated every conversation, and did not let anyone speak. Even if she would ask you a question, all you had to do was say yes or no. It was as if the question was rhetorical. He did not know his uncle too well, he of course had seen him at a couple of parties, but he never really spoke to him. He knew that his uncle did not like his aunt, but he could see it in his eyes that he loved Anne, and he could also see that he was a good man. Anne was a different story all together, she hardly spoke, and when she did it was just to agree with her mother. He had also heard that she was constantly sick, and he often tried to avoid her afraid to catch her colds. It was as if she was just there, invisible, not trying to draw attention to herself, and he could not blame her. He did not like it when his aunts attention was on him he doubt anybody would enjoy his aunts attention.

The first day of school came, and much to Will's relief he did share a class with Elizabeth science, his only non AP class. Unfortunately he also shared the same class with Caroline, and seeing as how the three of them were last to arrive, they had to share a table. He had Charlie for history, which his aunt taught, Charlotte for his math class and Jane for English. In science, Caroline constantly flirted with him, and touched him, which put him in a bad mood and he hardly conversed with Elizabeth, it seemed as though she had been laughing at him, and enjoying the fact that he was in hell. Lunch time had been no better, Charlie insisted that they sit with Jane, who happened to sit with Elizabeth and Charlotte. He had been annoyed from all the attention he got from all the girls that he had in classes and the ones he encountered in the hallways, and only the first half of the day had gone by. It was difficult to eat his lunch and not pay attention to Elizabeth, he couldn't help but stare at her, and whenever she spoke he listened with great intent. When he was spoken to he would answer but in his usual mono syllable answers, but he would not contribute to the conversation. It was too hard, when he felt the courage to say something he would immediately loose it, which only added to his anger. He found that the rest of his first day was not much better, he tried to concentrate in his classes but he could only think of Elizabeth. The following weeks leading up to the party were better, although Elizabeth occupied the back of his head, he was able to concentrate in all his classes except science. How he loathed having to sit with Caroline, it was hard enough to concentrate with Elizabeth so close to him, but Caroline's excessive flirting and small touches made it nearly impossible. At lunch time he opened up a little bit more, and would try to talk to Elizabeth, but she would only answer his question and continue to speak with Charlotte, Jane or Charlotte. It was nerve wrecking for him, he did not know what more he could do. Had Alexa not mentioned to her that he was sorry for the comment he made? It was then that he thought about her for the first time, neither Elizabeth or Jane had ever mentioned her.

It was the day of the party, he was glad he was not going. Although he had only met Mrs. Bennet once he felt as if it was enough for a life time, she was loud, silly and seemed to care a lot about money and appearances. He knew nothing about Mr. Bennet he had met him at the party, but then he had disappeared. The youngest Bennet girls were as bad as their mother, in fact they were exactly the same, but they seemed to be very boy crazy. He was just happy that he would not have to endure their behavior, he was more happy that he would get a break from Elizabeth, she occupied his mind too much for comfort, weekends were the only time she fully did not occupy his mind. The weekends were for Georgie, she would often call him and they would talk for hours and when she would not call she would email him long messages and he would respond the same. It made him happy to hear from her, it seemed as if she was starting to go back to her old self. When they had talked today, he could hear the smile in her voice, she seemed more lively and less sad.

He arrived at his aunts house a little after four, and he was taken to the living room where his aunt and cousin were waiting for him. He greeted them, and sat down next to Anne. After a couple of minutes of small talk and inquiring about Georgie, his aunt asked him how he liked living with the Bingley's.  
"It is fine," was all he replied.  
"If you should wish it you can move here, there is plenty of room, and you can keep Anne company. You could even transfer to Silver Magnet, with your grades and your connections (i.e. your father and I) you would have no problem getting in. The classes are a little harder, but you will be guaranteed to get into a top college, and the connections you make there will help you out in the future." His aunt stated.  
Silver Magnet, isn't that were Alexa had said she attended, he wondered what the chances were that Anne knew her then decided they were slim to none. Even if she did know who she was there was no way that they were friends. He knew that his aunt would never allow Anne to be friends with someone of the Bennet's social class, besides she had nothing as far as connections had to offer.  
"Seeing as how I live with the Bingley's it would be somewhat of a inconvienece to attend a different school than Charles and his sister," he replied.  
"Nonsense! Anne's best friend Alexandra Bennet, I believe is one of your neighbors, and she's attended since she was in elementary, if a girl of her means can manage I am sure that you can."  
NO WAY! He thought did his aunt just say that Anne was best friends with Alexa Bennet? He just stared at her dumbfounded, trying to think of a reply. Luckily Anne spoke.  
"Do you know the Bennet family William?" She quietly asked. He looked at her shocked that she had spoken.  
"Yes, they are my neighbors, I met them at a welcoming party for the Bingley's and I also attend school with the remaining Bennet girls." He calmly stated.  
"Then I am sure that you were invited to the party today were you not?" Anne asked with a small smile.  
"A party! Anne, why did you not tell me you were invited to a party, you had said it was a small get together. Am I correct when I say that Stanley Hurst will be attending?" His aunt said in a demanding tone.  
"When Alexa extended the invitation, it was going to be a small party. Yes you are correct Stanley will be in attendance, he is one of Alexa's_ CLOSEST_ friends besides me." Anne answered her mother.  
"Then I insist you go and take William with you, I have no doubt that Mrs. Bennet invited the Bingley's, and that includes him. Now go and change, I just bought you a lovely blue dress that I am sure Stanley will like. Blue is after all his favorite color, is it not?"  
"As you wish mother, and yes blue is his favorite color." Anne replied, when she turned to leave she could not help but smile, it seemed too easy to get her mother to let them go to the party. She had known that she could always use Hurst he was the ace up her sleeve, she knew her mother fancied a match between them, but to Anne, Hurst would always be like an older brother, and knew that Lexie felt the same way. Anyone would admit that Hurst was handsome, and a could catch, he was one of the popular boys at school, rich, had good connections through his father and yet he had become friends with Lexie and her.  
Will could not believe his luck, he had come to his aunts to avoid going to the party and now here he was about to do the very thing he was trying to avoid.  
"William, if you see that Alexandra is with Stanley, you must take it upon yourself and occupy her time. Give him and Anne time alone together as much as you can. It is my wish that Anne and he become a couple, and I know that with Alexandra around him, that can never happen." She demanded.  
Again Will was dumbfounded, did his aunt just admit that she was threatened by someone who she considered beneath her? His aunt did not notice the shocked look on his face and kept talking.  
"I know that Alexandra does not harbor any romantic feelings towards Mr. Hurst, but she does occupy his attention. I have seen it when all three of them are together. Do not get me wrong. although she comes from a middle class family and her family is quiet horrendous, and she offers nothing as far as connections go, she is everything a woman should be. A loyal friend, kind and respectful, very intelligent and talented, a hard worker and beautiful. That is why I approved of Anne's friendship with her, and even though she might only see Stanley as a friend, I have seen how well the two of them continue on. How is he to notice Anne, and all she has to offer if someone as great as Ms. Bennet is around?"  
Will could not answer, he could not believe anything he had just heard. He wasn't sure if this truly was his aunt, he was about to say something when Anne came back in. The blue dress complemented her pale skin, and black curly hair. She was carrying a wrapped gift.  
"Anne you look lovely, as I knew you would when I picked it out." His aunt said.  
"Thank you mother, it was a lovely choice. Would you mind if William took me to the store to get a gift for Elizabeth and Charlotte? I had not gotten them anything because I was not going to attend the party."  
"Yes of course, I will not do to go to birthday party and only give a gift to one person, even if she is the only one who is your friend. A small bottle of perfume you use will do, they can use it on special occasions."  
They said good bye to his aunt and he carried his and her sweater, for she would not allow him to carry the gift. On the way to the mall, Will asked Anne what she had gotten Alexa that she would not allow him to carry it for her.  
"It's something that I painted for her, it took me several tries to make it perfect for her."  
"It sounds like you went through a lot of trouble, why not buy her something?"  
"Lexie is not one for material things, she knows that I would spare no expense for a gift for her, and had told me a when we were younger that my friendship was enough. If I insisted on getting her gifts though they should be paintings or drawings."  
"She does seem fond of paintings," he replied thinking about her bing fascinated by the painting in the Bingley's hallway.  
Anne looked at him surprised, "You must have spoken a great deal to know something about her."  
"No, not at all I met her on a walk and she had wandered away from home. I offered her a ride, she had been admiring a painting while I got my keys."  
"Yes I know she told me, she was surprised to find out we were cousins."  
They got to the mall, and went directly to the perfume store. Anne bought the items and asked the owner to put them into gift bags. When they were leaving Will asked Anne if she would help him pick out gifts for the girls as well. He wanted to get something for Elizabeth but it would be weird not to buy the others something as well.  
"You do not have to buy anything for Lexie, William she would not like it and I will not have her feeling bad." Anne stated sounding a little like his aunt.  
"But it would be rude of me not to get them anything."  
"You are correct, but it must not be something expensive, hmmm..." she shivered a little having left her sweater in the car.  
"How about sweaters?" Will hesitantly asked.  
"Yes, good idea."  
They made there way to a store and Anne picked out a purple one for Lexie, green for Elizabeth and red for Charlotte.  
"Are those their favorite colors?" Will asked hoping to know something about Elizabeth.  
"I do not know about Elizabeth or Charlotte, but yes Lexie's favorite color is purple. It brings out the weird color of her eyes."  
"How do you not know her own twin sisters favorite color? What do you mean the weird color of her eyes?"  
Anne hesitated, "Lexie does not talk about her family...you will find out why throughout the evening. Her eyes, obviously green, in certain lighting you can see specks of yellow in them, it's as if they change color."  
Will did not say anything, they paid for the sweaters and stopped by a store to buy bags and tissue paper. The car ride to the party was spent mostly in silence.

It seemed as if they were one of the last ones to arrive, when they entered he tried to avoid everyone knowing that they would be surprised to see him there. He lead Anne to where the Bingley's were. "William what a surprise we understood that you would not be attending tonight." Mr. Bingley stated.  
"Yes, it seems that my cousin Anne De Bough, is a friend of Alexandra Bennet." Will said as a way of introducing Anne.  
"What a small world, is it not?" Mrs. Bingley said with a hint of a condescending tone.  
"Yes, it is. When I found out that William and your family knew the Bennet's I asked him if he would not mind coming to the party for Alexandra is my most dearest friend." Anne stated. Will could not help but think of his Aunt Catherine.  
"I see," was all Mrs. Bingley said.  
"Come now lets go meet her," said Mr. Bingley.  
As they made there way towards Mrs. Bennet and Alexa, she was heard by all of them not to embarrass her and to smile as if she were pretty. Will who looked at everyone else but at them when they approached, saw Mrs. Bingley and Caroline smirking a little trying to sustain a laugh, Mr. Bingley, Charlie and Louisiana tried not to look so appalled and he saw Anne smiling, which baffled him. Then he looked at Alexa, she was not effected by her mother's insult, she was smiling and he looked into her eyes, there was a small glimmer in them. She said hello to them and thanked them for coming with her head held high. It was not until Mrs. Bingley spoke that the glimmer in her eyes faded but her appearance and voice did not give her away. Her and Mrs. Bingley spoke and he heard his name, he started to pay attention and heard the vehemence in Mrs. Bingley's voice when she mentioned the school she and Anne attended. He knew that Mrs. Bingley resented that Mrs. Bennet, someone like her had a daughter who on a scholarship could attend such a prestigious school, yet her money could not buy her children's acceptance into the school. They were new money, with the help of his father Mr. Bingley had made his money by opening a high class restaurant and bar, then with his father's help make it into a huge and growing chain. He saw a man and girl walking towards them, he was almost as tall and big as he was, but a couple of inches shorter. Where Will was more muscular. the man was less buff and seemed not to be as toned. He was taller and bigger than Charlie, the girl he recognized from the last party she was the one who had been reading. He found out the man was Stanley Hurst, and the girl was Mary Phillips. Charlie insisted that Will go with him to say hello to Jane and Elizabeth, and Caroline followed. He said hello to each of them and wished Charlotte and Elizabeth a happy birthday, with a small smile. Elizabeth thanked him and made small talk but when Caroline started speaking to him. left with Charlotte and Charlie with Jane. Caroline got bored trying to make conversation and went and spoke to the younger girls who were talking to a couple of guys he recognized as some of the boys in his class. He could not help himself and kept looking over towards Elizabeth's direction, she looked beautiful in her green dress, her curly brown hair wrapped around her shoulders, and the dress made it look as if she had curves. He soon realized that the object of his affection was making her way towards him, with Charlotte. She came up smiling with her eyebrows quirked, "What did you think about it Darcy?" She asked smirking at him.  
"I'm sorry, I do not know what you are refereeing to,"  
"Oh, I was asking Charlotte hear what she had thought of the homework for science this weekend, and it looked like you had overheard us." Elizabeth stated her smirk faltering.  
"Although it took me a while, I do not believe that it was too difficult."  
"I see, do you find anything difficult?" She asked smirking again. He faltered a little and was about to answer but Charlotte cut him off.  
Lizzie you are too cruel, do not worry Will she is only teasing, but soon it will be our turn to tease her, My father recently bought me a piano and I know that you play at home Liz, so I insist that you play a song for my birthday!" Charlotte said with a big smile.  
"Had I practiced as much as Lexie does, then your efforts to tease me would have been wasted, but I will not back down from your challenge." She looked at Will, "Ypu will find Darcy that at any attempt to intimidate me, I shall prove victorious." She said pointedly, with a twinkle in her eyes.  
He watched her make her way towards the piano and Charlotte announced to the other guests that Lizzie would be playing. She messed up a little bit and her voice was nice, but she was captivating, she had an easiness about her that drew your attention. After she played he could hear Mary's mother boast about how talented her daughter was and demanded that Mary had a chance to play. He looked towards where Mary was standing, and he saw Alexa walk her to the piano, Mary's playing was very good, her choice of song though was questionable. It was not a song to be followed by Elizabeth's song, and Kittie and Lydia interrupted her, demanding that she play something less boring and something that could be danced to. Mary stopped and looked as if she wanted to run out of the room. He saw Alexa walk up behind her and place a hand on her shoulder. She whispered something into her ear and started snapping her fingers and Mary began to play. He saw Anne and Stanley begin to dance and then saw Charlie and Jane join in, followed by some of the others. He looked at Alexa, she kept her hand on Mary's shoulder, but there was also something about her performance that drew his attention to her, It seemed as if she had forgotten that there was anyone else in the room, he could see it was as if the music took her to another state of being. For the first time that night he looked at her from head to toe, she was in a pale purplish dress, that fit her loosely, but you could still make out her curves, her hair was up in a bun, and he could see brown highlights in her auburn hair. Her lips were a dark pink which made them more defined, and she had eyeliner and a light blush. They finished their performance and everyone clapped and someone turned on the radio, it was Charlotte who was standing next to Elizabeth who was laughing at something, just then Charlotte's father came up to him. Mr. Darcy, I cannot have you just standing here by yourself, you must dance, wouldn't you like to dance, it's a great past time, and it's really fun."  
"No I do not." Will replied looking away.  
"Nonsense everyone likes to dance...Lizzie my dear why aren't you dancing, you love to dance!" He said, and Will looked upwards and saw her. "I suggest that you and Mr. Darcy here dance, surely Mr. Darcy you would not deny a lovely young woman a dance, would you?"  
"Of course I would not, Elizabeth?" He said extending out his hand.  
"No thank you I am not in the mood, nor am I in want of a partner," she said trying to make a quick escape.  
"Now that he has agreed to dance though you can't deny him, especially if dancing is something he doesn't like to do. I know how much you enjoy the activity, so why help him come to like it too."  
"I would be honored if you would dance with me." He said coldly, he had gotten angry at Mr. Lucas.  
"There is no reason to be polite Darcy, as I said I do not want to dance and I didn't come this way for nothing, if you'll excuse me I would like to get some punch."

Mr. Lucas joined her, his gaze followed her, and Caroline decided to come and join him.  
"I bet I know what you are thinking William," she said with a smile while batting her eyelashes at him.  
"I doubt that you do Caroline."  
"I'm pretty sure that it is not far off from my thoughts, this party is so boring, I can't believe my parents accepted the invitation. No one here but Anne and Hurst are from the same circle as us and even they do not talk to anyone besides their friend. You are probably thinking how horrible it's going to be having to spend time with these people. They are so loud and silly, not to mention that they like to believe they are better than they actually are."  
"Actually I was thinking about how great green and brown go together." He said staring straight at Elizabeth, with a smile. Caroline followed his gaze and mentally burned daggers at her. Just then they saw Mrs. Philips trying to support Mrs. Bennet while both were balancing a glass of wine, and then started to laugh.  
Caroline's smile came back, "Can you imagine being related to them, at least we don't have to deal with them outside of these parties." Will just nodded and seemed to get lost in his thoughts, Caroline realized that she had lost his attention and decided in order to grow closer to Will, she should make and effort to get to know his cousin and decided to go and talk to her.

After several songs had gone by Will was still thinking about what Caroline had said. It would be horrible to have to spend more time around he Bennet's than necessary, and if he were to date Elizabeth he would probably be required to go over to her house, and eat dinner with her family. He glanced around the room, the women were laughing and drinking, the men were no where to be seen probably avoiding their wives, Anne and Caroline were talking. Well it looked like Anne was doing all the talking and Caroline would speak every now and then. It seemed like everyone else was dancing, and he looked at Elizabeth dancing with Charlotte, the smile she wore and her dress flowing around her made him wish that they would have danced. When he turned away, he saw Alexa slip outside without a sweater. He knew that it was getting a colder and thought about how cold she would get in her dress, it was a little thin so he grabbed his sweater and went outside. She was looking up, and did not turn around to great him, only speaking when he put his sweater around her shoulders. He was confused when she was handing him back his sweater, he told her she wasn't cold and she had thanked him but did not put it on. She mentioned being embarrassed and he would have felt bad had she not smiled a little. His confusion grew when he had asked if she was feeling well and she got angry. He told her he had not seen her dance at all and that she had not talked to anyone other than her friends as Caroline had mentioned. When she stated that she did not like to do things that drew any attention to her he saw what seemed like panic in her eyes. He understood that like him he did not want to be caught or be seen doing something that someone could use against you for their own amusement. She agreed and continued on to state that no one but he had noticed that she was not inside but that his absence would be noticed and politely kicked him out of being outside with her. All he could do was appease her and head back inside, he saw her handing him back the sweater, but did not attempt to take it, he did not know how long she was actually going to stay outside.

When he went back inside he noticed that Caroline and Anne had in fact noticed that he had disappeared but all they did was look at him with a questioning look. Everything else was just the same as when he left, but it seemed as if the dance partners had changed. He made his way back along the wall, and kept glancing towards the door. It wasn't until the music was turned off a while later Mrs. Bennet had screamed that it was time for cake, everyone made their way to the table and Elizabeth and Charlotte were standing in front of the cake. He made his way off to the side where Anne was silently arguing with Mary and Hurst had a deep frown on his face. The candles were lit and someone started counting in order to start singing, and Anne pushed Mary. Mary cried out asking for Alexa and he could feel everyone's eyes on her, but they were quickly averted when Alexa spoke up. She took her place and everyone sang happy birthday, he could not help but look at her, she seemed just to be standing there no emotion on her face. While the cake was being served he heard Caroline asking Alexa what she was doing with his sweater. He saw that she had put it on and not taken it off, he felt bad that it was his fault she was being targeted, but he was surprised that she answered that she grabbed a random sweater when she went outside, and quieted Caroline. He saw her walk back outside refusing cake and ice cream and was going to follow her but saw Anne leading Mary and Hurst outside. They made there way back inside and he could tell that she put on a brave smile on her face, it seemed as if she was putting on a strong face and he assumed it was for her friends. He noticed that while Elizabeth and Charlotte got actual presents Alexa only received money, with the exception of his gift and three others. She did not open them though in front of the others though, her and her friends made their way away from the rest of the party. When he glanced back at them he saw Alexa giving each of them a tight hug, and then she came to thank him for the sweater, handing him his. He was just happy that she had a smile on her face.

"What did she say to you when you followed her outside?" Anne asked Will after a while of driving. Will was surprised by the tone in her voice it was as if his answer would either comfort her or bring her sorrow. Anne stared at him in the dark, which made him a little uneasy.  
"She had thought I was Hurst, when I put my sweater over her, and told me that it was a little to late to be a gentleman." He paused he decided that he would tell Anne the whole of the conversation. "When she realized I wasn't him, she took off the sweater and handed it back to me, I told her to keep it I had brought it with me for her, she thanked me and stated that she was embarrassed, but did not seem upset about it." He said deciding not to elaborate that every time they had met she had been embarrassed, he was not sure how much Alexa had told Anne, but he recalled telling Anne that he had given her a ride home and she had known that, but that was all she said.  
"I asked her if she was feeling well..." he saw Anne flinch but she said nothing, and Alexa's reaction seemed stranger to him.  
"You must _NEVER_ ask her that again if you are to come across her, am I clear." Anne said in a tone that would make her mother proud. He looked at her and saw that she was looking at him coldly, all he could do was nod his agreement.  
"May I ask why both of you have similar reactions to my question?"  
"You may ask her but not I, although I would not expect her to answer your question as I'm sure she did not tell you an answer earlier."  
"No she did not, she asked me why I had asked and I told her that I had not seen her speak to anyone other than you, Mary and Hurst. Nor had I seen her dancing, she told me she did not like to draw attention to herself." He looked at Anne waiting for a reply.  
"She told you that?" She quietly asked barley above a whisper.  
"Yes, and then I told her that her and I were similar in that regard, and she told me that the difference between us was that no one noticed her, but that they noticed me. She in fact predicted that no one would notice her disappearance until they were going to cut the cake, and asked me to come inside before anyone came to look for me and saw her." He looked at Anne for her reaction, he saw her first curl into balls and she became tense.  
"As you saw no doubt that her prediction was wrong." She said angrily, she was angry at herself, and at Caroline. She had tried to get rid of Caroline by imitating her mother, hoping to drive her away but it did not work, she just kept talking to her. She knew she should have excused herself when she noticed Lexie walk outside, if she had not been speaking to Caroline she would have been with Lexie, and her friend would not have had to yet again witness being left out by her own family.  
While Anne was silently scolding herself, Will was just realizing that Alexa was correct in the sense that no one had noticed she was missing with the exception of her friends. Her own family was going to sing Happy Birthday to Elizabeth her twin sister and Charlotte but had never once noticed she was missing. He recalled Anne telling him there was a reason Alexa did not speak of her family and he realized that what had happened was nothing out of the ordinary for her. He felt a familiar pain within him, it was the feeling he felt when his father's love and affection would be shown to Wickham and he was forgotten. He recalled one time when Wickham received a C on a math quiz and he had gotten a B+. His father had congradulated Wickham, and had told him that he should study harder next time.  
The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, each lost in there thoughts. As he was entering the property, Anne spoke, "Thank you very much for taking me William, I owe you one favor." She said.  
"When your mother asks tell her that you and Hurst spent most of the party together and that I occupied Alexa's time." He said remembering what his aunt had told him.  
She smiled a small, "No, choose another favor," he was about to protest but she stopped him. "I was going to tell her as much anyways, not about you and Lexie, but Hurst and I. so you may hold onto it for later. You might need it." She said and exited the car, she told him good night and to be careful on the way home, and before she closed the door she thanked him again.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here is Lizzie's POV from her birthday party, enjoy. Also I apologize for not putting line breaks, I thought I had and they are there but I hope to fix that problem in the future.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 10

Lizzie could not be any happier, she was turning 17, going to be a senior in high school, and had an almost completely new wardrobe for the school year. Although she did not know what she was going to do after she graduated she did not care, her father had told her not to put off going to college, but she liked to keep her options open. She was happy that she would be sharing her birthday party with Charlotte, who had been her best friend besides Jane. When they had gone shopping her mother had bought her and Lexie a new dress for the party. While blue had been her favorite color, she loved the way she looked in green, her mother had told her when she was younger that it brought out her eyes, and since then she would often wear it. The dress she picked was spaghetti strapped, it flared out from her waist and gave her the impression that she had curves, and cut off above her knee. She loved it, and could not wait to wear it, her mother was happy and told her that if she used moose for her hair, her curls would add to her beauty. As happy as she was for the dress, she was happy that Lexie had found a dress that she liked, she had seen Lexie modeling it to herself in front of the mirror when they had gone home. This behavior was not normal for Lexie, but it was nice that she was being a normal girl like the rest of them Lizzie had thought.

When she found out through Jane that Darcy was not going to go to the party she was as happy as she was angry. She was happy that she would not have to spend more time around him than necessary, she was happy she hadn't seen him before school started, but she was worried that she would be stuck in several classes with him. What made her angry was that she was sure that his visit to his aunts was to avoid being stuck at party with people like her and he neighbors. She knew he was a rude snob, but to say he had to visit his aunt on a certain day seemed pretty low even to Lizzie. The first day of school came and much to her disappointment she not only shared a class with Darcy but she also shared it with Caroline. What was worse was it was not a subject she was good at, and she was stuck sitting with both Darcy and Caroline. The only thing that made the class seem a little better was that Caroline was constantly flirting and touching Darcy which seemed to annoy him, She would have felt sorry for him but she was still upset at his insult so she enjoyed watching him be uncomfortable. Luckily for her she had to pay attention in class, it was all she could do from laughing out loud, it also prevented her from noticing Darcy stare at her. When she had at first been paying attention to the pair she would notice that Darcy always seemed to glance at her and he always had a scowl on his face, and would hardly say more than a couple of words to her. She had Jane for math and Charlotte and Charlie for math. Later she found out that Darcy was taking AP classes, and was happy that she had decided not follow her father's advice. Lunch time had almost been as bad as science class but she at least had Charlotte to talk to. Charlie and Darcy had decided to sit with them, and she was happy for Jane, she could tell that Charlie liked her. She hated the fact that Darcy had to tag along with Charlie, he obviously did not want to sit with them. He would not speak unless he was spoken to and the whole time he was there he looked pained as if eating with them was beneath him. He hardly ate and occasionally she would again catch him looking at her. It frustrated her that he would look at her, he hardly spoke to her, he wondered why he even made the effort, but for Jane she would tolerate it. The rest of the weeks were pretty much the same, he would try to converse with her, she didn't want to be rude or get into trouble with Jane so she would repay him the favor of answering his questions, but would go back to talking to Charlotte. One day at lunch Charlotte had been warning Lizzie that in English class they had to write an essay on poetry and the power it held for lovers.  
"An essay on love poems, how horrible, love poems do nothing but scare someone away!" Lizzie had said to Charlotte.  
"But poetry is the food of love." Darcy said.  
"Only if you are already in love, sure poems could make you fall even deeper. But if someone just has a crush on someone, and the feelings are not mutual than it will send the other person running for the hills." Lizzie said thinking about the first time Collins had told her how much he liked her.  
"So what do you think shows great affection for someone?" Darcy asked in an impassive way.  
"Well I would think that it would have to be dancing." She said smirking.  
Darcy did not say anything, just went back to himself, and Lizzie continued to talk to Charlotte.

* * *

She was so happy on her birthday, her and Lexie had woken up early as usual and instead of going for their usual walk she suggested they go for a walk around the garden in their home. Lizzie had wanted to make Lexie's point of view like her own and had decided to talk about memories from when they were younger, Lizzie liked to think about her childhood, although her mother and her hardly saw eye to eye, she loved that her mother would make their favorite foods for their birthday, or when they were feeling down, she knew her mother loved her. Her father was always there for her holding her hand when she was scared, giving her advice, and just be someone she could talk to when she felt as if she could not speak to Jane. One of her favorite memories was when her father held onto her while she and Lexie rode a pony, she felt so safe in her father's arms. She didn't know why but she had always been afraid of horses, she supposed that it had something to do with the fact that she had seen Charlotte get kicked by one when they were younger. She was trying to get Lizzie to get on one, and it started to panic and Charlotte fell on the ground and got kicked in the head. There was so much blood, Lizzie thought that she was going to die, she did not think about it as much as she use to, Charlotte seemed unaffected but the memory was scared into her head. As Lexie and her made their way into the house Lizzie hoped that she had shared enough happy memories for Lexie to realize that they had a good childhood. They entered the house and she could already smell waffles, her favorite breakfast. Everyone told them "Happy Birthday!" and she received a big hug and kiss from everyone, she could feel the love. Trying to further instill good memories from the past into Lexie, she had suggested to her father that they watch home movies. Lizzie was happy that the whole family was there, they were all laughing and having a good time.

The day of the party came quickly and Lizzie went for a walk while Lexie had decided to ride her horse. She decided to contemplate her life so far, time seemed like it was going by so fast, she would graduate at the end of the year, and then what? She did not know what she wanted to do, Jane wanted to be a teacher, and Lexie could do just about anything she wanted, she could attend whichever school she wanted, she would be great at whatever she decided to do , and for this Lizzie was a little jealous of her sisters. While one knew what she wanted to do the other had an infinite amount of possibilities at her disposal, but yet Lexie acted as if the world was a cruel place and nothing to offer other than misery. This made her feel anger towards Lexie, but she couldn't stay angry and she knew it. It was Lexie who was offered the scholarship, and would have been a fool not to take it. Her sister took advantage of the opportunity she was given and Lizzie was soon happy for her, she would have done the same thing. At 12 her mother started to make each girl get ready even though the party was not going to be for another six hours and they had to be ready within four hours. When she was done getting dressed she helped Jane get ready because she had not yet done so. She was surprised that Jane had not been ready, she was usually the first one ready and she had thought that because Charlie would be attending that it would have been Jane's top priority to look nice. When Jane told her that she had helped Lexie with her make-up and hair Lizzie was surprised. and for some reason a little upset.  
"Doesn't she know that you like Charlie and wanted to look extra beautiful? Why would she ask you for help with her and make-up? Who is she trying to impress? I thought that she did not like her friend Hurst in that way, I knew she was lying!" She said with a small smile.  
"Lizzie! First of all I do not want to try to impress Charlie, and I did not mind that she asked me. In fact I was happy to help her. Oh Lizzie! I can't wait till you and everyone else sees her! She looks so beautiful, everyone will be just as shocked as I was."  
"Yea well I just have to take your word for it. She's held up in our room I guess trying to avoid mom, too bad the rest of us do not share her luxury."  
"Lizzie..."  
"Oh! Jane you're not ready yet! Lizzie don't just stand there help her!" Her mother had popped into the room.  
"I am helping her mom, you know she's only not ready because she was helping Lexie." Lizzie said.  
"Helping Lexie! What for? Jane really if you want to catch Charles you need to focus on yourself first. Lexie could have waited, I have no doubt that your help did not make a bit of difference. I really don't understand how I have four beautiful daughters and one so plain!" Her mother said to herself looking in the mirror.  
Jane was about to say something but just then Kittie and Lydia ran into her room.  
"MOM! Lydia took my shoes, and I need them to wear with my dress! They don't even go with her dress!" Kittie was almost yelling.  
"But mom, all of my other shoes look really ugly with the dress I want to wear, plus these make me three inches taller, and John Denny likes tall girls."  
"Oh Kittie just giver her your shoes, and borrow some from Lizzie."  
"But Lydia has a whole closet full of shoes! I wanted to wear these! Ugh you always take her side it's not fair." Kittie said and threw her shoes at Lydia. Lizzie went off to get Kittie a pair of shoes that she would like Lexie was in the room but had her headphones on and was reading a book. Jane had finished getting ready with the help of her mom, and then helped Lizzie with her hair and make-up.

When it was time to leave for the party Lizzie was waiting downstairs, Lexie was the last to come down and when she saw her, she couldn't help but stare. Lexie looked beautiful, she looked like an old movie star, Lizzie had told her that she looked pretty. When they got to the Lucas's after everyone said there hello's, Charlotte pulled Lizzie aside and asked her what was up with Lexie. Lizzie told Charlotte her suspicion that Lexie liked her friend Hurst who she invited to the party. They finished setting up and soon the guest arrived, and then she saw Darcy with Lexie's friend Anne. She couldn't believe that he was there, did he change his mind, and why was he with Anne. At first she thought that they were boyfriend and girlfriend and she got a little mad that he would lie to get out of the party, but as she looked at the both of them she could see a slight family resemblance and figured they were related. To Lizzie, Darcy being related to the De Boughs made perfect sense. Although she had never spoken to Anne and Lexie did not talk about her, she had met Mrs. De Bough. She was the teacher in charge of detention which Lizzie was a frequent visitor, and she also remembered that Collins praised her. Every time she was around Anne, Anne would stay quiet and also have her nose stuck in the air, as if she were better than the rest of them. She did not understand why Lexie and her best friends she knew Anne did not like her family, nor did Lexie's friend Hurst. They always kept to themselves and took up all of Lexie's time, every time they were thrown together they were polite to her family but Lizzie knew that they were snobs, and proud, just like Darcy was. But her mother loved that she could say that she knew the Hurst family and the De Boughs, they were some of the wealthier families in the city, and he mother would let people know that she knew them even though she did not.

She had been talking to Charlotte and Jane, who had been waiting anxiously to see Charlie and had seen them first say hello to Lexie and her mom. Afterwards Charlie, Darcy, and Caroline had made their way to where they were standing to say hi to them. Darcy was his usual self, and it made Lizzie a bit angry, why couldn't he just stay with his cousin and gotten to know her other friends if he was going to be a snob. He did wish him and Charlotte a Happy Birthday with a small smile and Lizzie had wanted to remind him that it was just a party and their birthdays had already passed but didn't want to seem rude. She tried to make small talk, but Caroline had interrupted and started speaking to Darcy so she made her way with Charlotte. She looked around the room and saw Lexie talking with Anne, Mary, and Hurst. All of them looked bored and had there noses in the air. Would it kill them to talk to other people, or at least smile. She was looking at Jane and Charlie talking in a corner being oblivious to everyone else in the room. It made her smile that Jane had met someone she liked and seemed to like her a lot too.  
"He really seems to like Jane a lot, but if Jane doesn't show more interest in him then she'll loose him before she ever had him." Charlotte had said.  
"You and I both know that Jane is just shy, she's not going to just throw herself at him, if she doesn't know how he feels first."  
"You and I know how Jane is but Charlie doesn't he might never ask her out if she doesn't do something, a girl should always show more than she feels, it makes the guy feel like he at least has a chance if he wanted to. The way Jane acts, he might just think that she wants to be friends only."  
"They have spent most of their lunch time talking, started emailing each other and Jane told me she gave him her phone number. If Charlie can't see that she likes him more than a friend then he really is just another dumb guy and Jane can do better than him."  
"Well it does seem as if they have a chemistry between them," Charlotte said.  
"Ugh that reminds me I still have a bunch of homework for science, and my other classes, did you finish yours?"  
"No, not yet but even if I was done, I wouldn't let you 'borrow' it"  
"You know I never copy it word for word," she told Charlotte laughing.  
"You know you could always ask Will, I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing his work with you" Charlotte said smirking.  
"Yea, right like I'd ask Darcy for a favor, like he'd ever help me out anyways"  
"I don't know he seems to stare at you a lot, and he's always trying to talk to you."  
"Char, he does not try to talk to me he tries to avoid me, and to talk to me as little as possible. _If_ he did stare at me don't you think I would have noticed?"  
"Well he's been looking at you practically the whole time."  
She casually glanced at him and did notice that he was looking their way, but his face was indifferent.  
"He's only trying to figure out another reason not to like me"  
"You should go ask him and find out."  
"You're right, I should if I don't he'll just keep doing it."

She went up to him smiling with her eyebrows quirked, "What did you think about it Darcy?"  
"I'm sorry, I do not know what you are referring to," he said impassively.  
"Oh, I was asking Charlotte here what she had thought of the homework for science this weekend, and it looked like you had overheard us." Lizzie stated her smirk faltering.  
"Although it took me a while, I do not believe that it was too difficult."  
She wanted to laugh, of course someone as proud as him would never admit that anything was hard for him.  
"I see, do you find anything difficult?" She asked smirking again. He faltered a little and was about to answer but Charlotte cut him off.  
"Lizzie you are too cruel! Don't worry Will she is only teasing, but soon it will be our turn to tease her. My father recently bought me a piano and I know that you play at home Liz, so I insist that you play a song for my birthday!" Charlotte said with a big smile.  
"Had I practiced as much as Lexie does, then your efforts to tease me would have been wasted, but I will not back down from your challenge." She looked at Will, "You will find Darcy that at any attempt to intimidate me, I shall prove victorious." She said pointedly, with a twinkle in her eyes.  
Charlotte lead her to the piano and announced to the party that Lizzie was going to play a song. She picked a song that she knew she could play well and knew the lyrics to. She knew that she was not as great as Mary, or good as Lexie, but she didn't care, for her it was about having fun although she messed up a little bit and her voice was nice. When she was finished she bowed and curtsied with a big smile on her face. Then she heard her Aunt Grace boast about how talented Mary was and demanded that Mary have a chance to play. Her smile fell a little she knew Mary was shy and had not thought about how her mom and aunt would want to show off there children in front of the new neighbors. She knew Mary was very shy, and looked at her she saw Lexie walking with her to the piano. Mary's playing was very good, but the song she picked was sad and not something to play at a party. She had heard it before Lexie would often play it when she would practice at home. To make matters worse Kittie and Lydia interrupted her, demanding that she play something less boring and something that could be danced to. Mary stopped and looked as if she wanted to run out of the room. She looked around at the Bingley's and saw looks of astonishment on their faces, she felt embarrassed. She was going to go tell Kittie and Lydia to let Mary play what she wanted too, but saw Lexie walk up behind her, place a hand on her shoulder and whisper something into her ear. Lexie started snapping her fingers and Mary began to play. It was 'Summertime Sadness', Lizzie again felt a little embarrassed that Lexie would choose that song it was also sad but then she saw Anne and Hurst begin to dance, then Charlie and Jane join in, followed by the others. She relaxed, people were dancing and it was a party. She looked at Lexie singing, and smiled every time Lexie performed be it on the piano or while playing the violin she was a different person. They finished their performance and everyone clapped. Lizzie had seen that her mom was about to say something, probably going to suggest that Lexie play and told Charlotte to turn on the radio. She laughed thinking about what song Lexie would have chosen to play had her mother decided to force her. She was so busy lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice she had walked up to Mr. Lucas and Darcy, before she knew it Mr. Lucas cornered her and tried to get her to dance with Darcy. "Lizzie my dear why aren't you dancing, you love to dance!" He said, and Will looked upwards and saw her. "I suggest that you and Mr. Darcy here dance, surely Mr. Darcy you would not deny a lovely young woman a dance, would you?"  
"Of course I would not, Elizabeth?" He said extending out his hand.  
"No thank you I am not in the mood, nor am I in want of a partner," she said trying to make a quick escape.  
"Now that he has agreed to dance though you can't deny him, especially if dancing is something he doesn't like to do. I know how much you enjoy the activity, so why not help him come to like it too."  
"I would be honored if you would dance with me." He said coldly, his attitude made her angry.  
"There is no reason to be polite Darcy, as I said I do not want to dance and I didn't come this way for nothing, if you'll excuse me I would like to get some punch." She said saying the first thing that came to mind.

She soon lost track of time by dancing with Charlotte, and her sisters, even with John Denny, and Jack Sanders. A while later the music was turned off a while later and her mom screamed that it was time for cake, everyone made their way to the table. Charlotte and her were on one side of the table and everyone else was around them. She looked and the cake Charlotte's name was in red with lily's, her favorite flower. Hers and Lexie's were in blue, with her favorite flowers, roses. The candles were lit, there was a 18 for Charlotte and a 17 for her and Lexie. They were going to start singing but Mary pointed out that Lexie, wasn't there. She looked at Mary then she looked around for her sister, leave it to her to be a Debbie Downer and not want to blow out the candles. She thought, couldn't Lexie ever be happy, it was a party for them, she looked pretty, she was smiling earlier. Lexie stood next to Lizzie and everyone sang to them, she blew out the candles. Her mom gave her one of the corner pieces, and chocolate ice cream, her favorite. She joined Charlotte, Jane and Charlie on the couch and ate her cake with a smile on her face. When it was time for presents she got excited her father always gave her the best books. He told her that he had a special fund just for her. Jane gave her a perfume that she had tried at the mall and loved. Charlotte gave her a shirt she had wanted, Kittie and Lydia gave her some make-up, her aunt and uncle a necklace and earrings. The Bingley's had given her a sweater, and the others gave her scarves and jewelry while Anne had given her a small bottle of perfume, and Hurst a journal. She was most surprised that Darcy had gotten her anything, then she saw that he had given Charlotte the same sweater but in a different color and had no doubt that Lexie had received the same gift.

When Darcy and Anne said their goodbyes, the thanked them for their gifts with somewhat a fake smile. Later when her and Charlotte were working on their homework together, and talking about the party Charlotte spoke about Darcy first.  
"It was nice of Will and Lexie's friends to get us presents, don't you think?"  
"It's not nice if they did it to so we wouldn't think they were rude." She said annoyed at the mention of either of them.  
"Lizzie, really when are you going to forgive Will for not calling you pretty enough for him? And what's your problem with Anne and Stanley?"  
"When Darcy apologizes... well even if he did say he was sorry I don't think I'd even like him then he's just a big jerk! And I don't have a problem with Anne and Hurst they're the ones who have a problem with me and everyone who doesn't live up to their standards. I'm surprised they came at all, knowing they'd be the only ones who would be here from their prestigious school." She said smiling.  
"Besides, I bet you Darcy didn't even pick out our gifts, it was probably Anne."  
"What does that matter, he originally wasn't coming so why would he have any presents?"  
"See Char, if Darcy was such a nice guy, he would have sent presents even if he wasn't coming that's the polite thing to do."  
"Liz, I didn't say he was a nice guy, I just said it was nice that he got us something. He could have just said Anne's gift or the Bingley's was from the both of them."  
Lizzie rolled her eyes "What answer did you get for number 17 and 21?" She said changing the subject.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 11

Throughout the next week after the party Lexie, could not stop hearing about how embarrassed Rose was at Lexie's behavior at the party. Rose got angry at her for not smiling, for singing such a sad song, and for not getting to know Caroline or Louisiana. "How will Jane catch Charlie if we don't make an effort to get to know them. I can't believe that you embarrassed me yet again. No actually I can I should've expected it. Why would you sing such a sad song? Oh! The Bingley's must have seen that you are different, what could they possibly be thinking? Luckily for you, your friend Stanley was there, oh and of course Anne, at least they can know that we talk to other people who have money. Honestly Alexa you could have at least looked like you were having a good time, it was your party." Rose's rants were endless and Lexie didn't say anything, she just stayed quiet and let her just keep talking.

One thing that did change about Lexie was that she began to wear eyeliner, and lip gloss. Every morning when she was waiting to go to school, she would put some on. On the first day back to school she had been so worried that people were going to stare at her. Mary and Anne did not say anything much to her relief, and the rest of her fellow students ignored her as usual. She had tried something different and nothing bad had happened, she would be ok, the world kept spinning. On Friday she missed school because she had to go to her doctor, Mrs. Samantha Stone. Rose had to take her because her father did not want to miss work, but as routine she would drop off Lexie then go shopping. Rose had noticed the eyeliner and applauded her effort, but told her she should not waste her money, that it did not work for her. _IT DOES NOT WORK FOR A NUMBER OF PEOPLE_, she had thought and did not pay attention to her like always. She liked her Dr. Stone, she was a 48 year old sweet woman, and had been her doctor since she was a child. Lexie saw her more as a friend than a doctor, she was not afraid to speak to her about her fears, thoughts, worries, she could be herself, when she wanted to be.

"Hello Lexie, and how are you today?" she said cheerfully. and stood up to give her a hug.

"Hi Dr. Stone! How are you?" She replied with a smile, returning her hug.

"I am good thank you. I see you started to wear a little bit of make-up..." she said with a smile.

Lexie's face fell, "Does it look bad?! Do I look better without it? Do you think I should take it off? Rose had said it was a waste of money but I did not buy it, it was the gift you sent me. I thought the reason you gave it to me as an experiment. But-" she said rapidly letting her fear get the better of her.

"Lexie! Lexie! Relax, take a deep breath in," Dr. Stone interrupted and instructed her. "Good, now first of all I am happy to hear that you liked my gift, of course I wanted you to try something new. Second of all you ARE beautiful, with OR without it, and third, you know better than to listen to Rose."

"Yes I know, she hardly gets to me anymore, it is just some days that are bad, and my thoughts get the better of me." "When was the last time you can remember?" She got her pen out and notepad ready.

"Two weeks before school started, I just woke up and it was one of those days. On my birthday, feelings came over me a little, just memories coming to haunt me. Last weekend the day of the party, I-I, I am not too sure what happened that day. Of course this Monday when I first wore the eyeliner, but that only lasted the whole school day."

wrote something down, "Do you want to talk about any of those days?"

"No," she said quietly, "do you want me to talk about them, should I, are you disappointed?"

"You know better than that Lexie, we only talk about what you want to talk about, all I ask is for complete honesty." "I'm sorry," she said but with a pointed look from Dr. Stone she said, "I know."

"Is there anything that you do want to talk about? Anything new or old? Family, friends, school, music?"

She just stayed quiet trying to contemplate her answer, then she thought about Will, and the thought surprised her. It was quiet for a while then Dr. Stone spoke. She needed to get her to talk.

"I like your sweater, it brings out your eyes can I assume it's new?" Lexie frowned, "Now I only ask because it looks new and I know how much you like to shop at thrift stores."

said with a genuine smile. "You know that you can find practically new things at thrift stores sometimes, you would be surprised at what most people give or throw away," she replied.

"Yes, I remember most of the great items you have rescued, I also remembered that purple your favorite color." She said smiling.

"Did you remember or do you have it written down?" She asked with a smile on her face.

just rolled her eyes, "I think you know me better than that," she said with a small laugh.

"Yes you are right, you _KNOW_ it is my favorite color... it is new, it was a gift." She said with a smile and a small blush.

"I see, would you mind telling me who gave it to you?"

"My friend Anne picked it out." "I thought that Anne wasn't allowed to buy you anything."

"She may do as she wishes, she just _KNOWS_ that I prefer that she not buy me anything." She replied sounding a bit childish.

"So your friend Hurst bought it for you, did he finally ask her out?" Dr. Stone knew that Lexie did not like Hurst as more than a friend, but she needed Lexie to talk.

"No, Hurst has not let his feeling known, and Anne is still oblivious, but... Anne's cousin Will, he gave it to me, he came to the party." She blushed a little again.

"That was nice of him to buy a gift for someone he didn't know, don't you think?"

"Yes, but I knew him prior to the day of the party, he is one of my neighbors. He lives with his friends family."

"Would you like to talk about him?"

She said with a knowing smile. Lexie's small blush had not gone unnoticed. Without thinking about it she started talking. "He's really tall, and has black hair that curls a little, he is big but it's more like muscular maybe? His eyes..." she smiled and her eyes lit up, "are this intense bright sky blue," she said looking into the distance thinking about his eyes.

"Have you spoken to him?" Lexie went on to tell Dr. Stone about all of their encounters, and she just listened with a smile on her face. Happy to see Lexie be animated about something, that was not music, she saw it as a small step towards being happy. Lexie to her was more than just another patient, she remembered when the Bennet's first came to her. Lexie was 10 years old. She had just transferred to a new school, but not before she and Lizzie had skipped a grade midway through the school year. She looked forward to her appointments with Lexie, she would often remember the first couple of sessions, Lexie would not speak, she had found out that she had not spoken for about a month, and her parents which she used the term loosely, just wanted the problem fixed no matter what. The more she got to know Lexie the more she grew to dislike her mother and father. Though they might not have known it they were responsible for Lexie's behavior, they would bring her up in front of people just to put her down, her father had put all this pressure on Lexie, expecting the best of her. With Lexie's intellect and way of thinking she wished that she could do more to help her. Dr. Stone loved Lexie, as much as her own children, she saw what few people got to see in her, that tiny spark that Lexie hid well. The way that Lexie radiated love, she made you feel special, the way that she could show and make you feel good with just a hug. She just let Lexie ramble with out interrupting her.

"Do you like him?" Was all that she had said when Lexie finished.

"He seems like a nice guy, shy, very quiet, and it seems like he is sad. He does not show it ,but I believe he has been through some bad times, but I don't know. It was too easy to talk to him, although our conversations were brief, I felt-it was... as if we understood each other, and when we were not speaking the silence was not uncomfortable, it was nice."

"It's perfectly natural to talk to people you don't know, sometimes it's a lot easier to open up to a stranger than some one that you know. It's a big step for you to open up even if it's just a little to someone new. Not knowing what his reaction was going to be towards you."

Lexie thought about what Dr. Stone had just said, for the first time she realized that she had not been afraid that Will would think of her, she had never thought about if he would ridicule or judge her. "Do you mind if I add 'Sometimes it is easier to open up to a stranger' to my journal?" Lexie asked.

"Not at all, now we have a couple of minutes left, time to get down to the business end of our appointment. Have you noticed any of the common side effects to your medications?"

"No."

"Have you been taking them all as they are prescribed?"

"Yes."

"Have you noticed a change in your mood or behavior?"

"No...Well talking to Will would be a change would it not?"

"Yes, but that's a good thing, nothing to do with the medication. In fact if you should get the chance to speak to him again, I would like you to just do what feels natural. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes."

"Good. Do you feel that the medication is working as it should be?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any questions?"

"No."

"Ok then, now for our next appointment would you like to see me in one month again or would you like to reschedule sooner?"

"One month would be fine... May I still call you if I would like to see you sooner?"

"Of course you know that you can call me anytime, and if I do not answer, I will call you back."

"OK then," she said with a smile.

She gave Dr. Stone a hug and thanked her for her gift, made her appointment and got her prescription. She went outside to wait for Rose and after 10 minutes Rose texted her that she was going to be late, apparently there was a sale in one of her favorite stores. Lexie just got on the bus and went to the pharmacy, she waited there until her order was ready and texted Rose that she was at the pharmacy and ready. Rose replied that a friend of hers had told her that there was another sale at a different store and was heading to that store now. Lexie just told her that she would be at the music store waiting for her. She decided to walk there and when she got there greeted the employee's as she usually did and made her way to the musical books, looked through them, she would often speak to the manager and the other employees who knew her, and eventually started to play a violin. About forty five minutes passed until Lexie received a text that Rose was outside. She put away the violin and said goodbye to everyone she had greeted, made her way into the car and Rose talked the whole way home about each item she had gotten and how much it had cost and how much she got it for, and the women she had seen and the new gossip around town.


	12. The Fall

The Fall

Ch. 12

She was trying to think of how it all started, how did she get to where she was. She wished she could go back, back and just stay there, she was content in her bubble, now she didn't know what she was...

Jane had asked her on Friday if they could go riding the next morning, 'spend time together' she had told Lexie. She agreed only on the condition was that they wake up early and race into the pastures. They set out a little after the sun had risen, but it was still dark, clouds threating to rain. Jane had suggested that they reschedule, but Lexie had pressed for a quick ride, they might be able to beat the rain. The sky had cleared up, and the sun showed through making it a beautiful morning. They rode off the property into the fields in the back, after a while of trotting, they began to race. Lexie was having fun, Jane would scold at her for going to fast and to pay attention more. She just laughed and kept going further and further. All of a sudden violent thunder struck followed by lightning startling her, she lost control of Aries, and he started bucking. She tried to control him but thunder struck once again and she started to panic, and Jane's frantic yelling did nothing to help. The horse started to buck and then tried to rear her off repeating the process until he was successful. Lexie fell off towards the side hitting the back of her head on a rock, knocking her unconscious. Once Aries was relieved of Lexie he calmed down and trotted out dragging her along because her leg had gotten stuck on the saddle. Jane had already jumped of her horse and ran to stop Aries and free Lexie. The sky had become darker and all of a sudden it started to sprinkle, Jane begged and pleaded for Lexie to wake up, with no luck. Within a couple of minutes it started pouring, and Jane could see a river of blood underneath Lexie. She didn't know what to do she looked around and saw that they were not to far from the lake, which meant they were too far from home for her to ride there, but that she was close enough to the Bingley's. The rain was cold, and the wind did not help, she felt herself starting to tremble in her jacket. Not wanting to leave Lexie too long in the rain, she took off her jacket and covered Lexie with it. She told Lexie not to worry she would be back with help and kissed her forehead. She raced as fast as the rain would allow her without putting herself in danger, it would not do for both of them to be lying unconscious. She berated herself for leaving her cell phone at home. By the time she got to the house she was shivering uncontrollably but adrenaline got the better of her. She urgently rang on the doorbell and knocked frantically, it seemed like forever until a pajama clad Charlie opened the door with a shocked face.  
"Jane! What are you doing here this early, why are you all wet? Oh my G-d you're shivering come in, what happened?" He said within a breathe.  
"Charlie please help, Lexie! She's out there! She fell, she won't wake up!" She said trying not to stutter, collapsing into the floor and bursting into tears.  
Just then the rest of the family minus Mr. and Mrs. Bingley had made their way downstairs.  
"Charlie what happened? Jane?" Will asked.  
"Caroline go get towels for Jane she's freezing! Will I need you to come with me Lexie is out there somewhere," he said as calmly as he could.  
"What!" Will started pacing "It will take too long to ready both our horses, I'll take Jane's horse and you stay here with her, keep her warm, and call an ambulance." He ran to put some shoes on and his jacket. "Jane, I need you to calm down and tell me where your sister is."  
"I-I-sh-shes near the lake, going past as if you were riding to my house."  
He ran outside and saw Jane's horse eating grass, mounted it and took off in the direction Jane had told him. It took the horse a while to get use to him so it took him a while longer to reach his destination. As he approached, he could see Alexa's horse grazing and eating grass, he rode towards him and looked around. It was not raining as hard as it had been, and he saw a weird shape on the ground a couple of feet away. He got off the horse and ran towards it, she was laying there with blood under her head, he kneeled down and tried to wake her up. He grabbed her face and called out to her again, her eyes fluttered open. She was staring straight into his eyes, she thought she had been dreaming and was trying to gather her thoughts. Her hand moved of it's on accord to his face, "Beautiful," she said while cupping his cheek. It was all she said and then there was blackness again. She heard her name being yelled in the distance, it was his voice, she didn't want to comply it was telling her to wake up, all she wanted to do was sleep, but his voice had a pull on her. Her eyes opened and was once again lost in his blue eyes too lost to speak.  
"Alexa I need you to stay awake can you do that?"  
All she could do was nod her head, wincing at the pain she felt, she reached up to put pressure where the pain was. She winced even more at the touch and felt her hand become warm and sticky. When she saw that her hand was covered in blood she started to panic, she tensed up and started to hyperventilate. Soon she was gasping for air, she felt numb and as if she was drifting away from her surroundings. Will called her name, grabbing hold of her face again and begged her to look at him, she complied but nothing changed, then he told her to focus on something else. Her eyes locked onto his, getting lost in his eyes again and calmed down.

The rain had stopped, but it was sprinkling, he gave her a while to calm down, the cold hit her and she started to shiver. "Now I need you to try to stand, do you think you can?"  
She nodded, and he helped her up. As soon as she put pressure on her right leg she felt a sharp pain and became dizzy, she collapsed onto him.  
"What's wrong?" He asked his face showing signs of worry.  
"I just got lightheaded," she tried to walk again but collapsed falling face forward, he caught her before she hit the ground.  
He scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the horse, he helped her up and climbed up behind her.  
They started to make there way back to the house, Lexie had almost lost consciousness again and leaned to far forward, he pulled her to his chest holding on tightly.  
"Jane?" She distantly, looking down she saw they were on Ginger, and that she was wearing Jane's jacket over her own.  
"She is safe, she made it to the Bingley's and told me where to find you." He said in her ear, she felt his warm breathe on her neck. Although she felt as if she was in a dream, she remembered and relished being in his arms. She felt safe, and as if everything was going to be ok. The pain did not feel as horrible in his arms, she wanted to stay there. Her arm wrapped around his, and she snuggled closer to him. She could hear him talking but did not say anything.  
"Alexa? Alexa?"  
"Hmm?"  
"We are almost there."  
"Where?"  
"Charlie's house."  
"Oh, Jane?"  
"Yes Jane is there."  
"Ok, I'm sleepy, can I go to sleep now?"  
"No! Why don't you tell me what happened?"  
"When?"  
"Why did you fall off your horse?"  
"Oh, I-I-" she rubbed her forehead with her free hand, "My head hurts."  
"Do you remember what happened?"  
"Hmm? OH! I-Jane, I wanted to race, she, thunder, like a huge crash, darkness." Was all she had said.

The horse stopped, they had reached the Bingley's and Charles was waiting outside for them, with dry towels.  
"The ambulance is on there way, are you ok Lexie?" he said while helping Lexie off the horse, she tried to stand but stumbled, he helped her up and wrapped a towel around her shoulders.  
"Jane?"  
"She's inside, come on." They took a step, she fell to the ground on her hands and knees vomited. Luckily she did not have a lot in her system, they gave her a while to make sure.  
"Sorry" she said weakly.  
Will picked her up and told Charlie to open the door. Once inside he sat her down on the floor, Jane came running up to them and fell to the floor hugging Lexie, tightly and kissing her head, giving thanks, then she stood up and gave Will a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. She must have said thank you a million times.  
"Jane?" Lexie said numbly.  
"Lexie!'' she fell back to the floor wrapping towels around her trying to warm her up.  
Lexie could feel Jane's burning skin every time their skin would come in contact.  
"Lexie, are you ok?"  
"Jane, you are burning!" She cried, and pushed Jane off of her.  
Charlie came up to them and touched Jane, "Jane! She's right!"  
They could hear the ambulance approaching. Will went outside to let the paramedics in and fill them in on what had happened as far as he knew, and lead them inside the house.  
"Can you tell us your name?" A woman asked her, shining a flashlight into her eyes.  
She stared into nothingness, in a daze, lost, "Lexie." A whisper.  
"How old are you?"  
"17"  
"Where does it hurt?"  
"My head, my foot."  
"On a scale between 1 and 10?"  
"9"  
The woman looked at her skeptically, "Are you on any medications?"  
"Xanax, Zoloft, Elavil, BuSpar. My head really hurts, can I lie down?"  
"No, you have to stay awake ok? We're going to take you to the hospital"  
"NO!" She pushed the poor lady, and started to crawl backwards. "Jane!" She cried out frantically looking around.  
"Lexie, it's ok I'm here. Don't worry I'm going to go with you." She smiled reassuringly.  
The other paramedic who had been checking Jane told her that she had a high fever and needed to rest, "Jane! don't leave me alone, please." She said trying to hold back her tears.  
"Please let me go with her, I don't want her to panic more than she has too." She said with a stuffed up nose.  
"I'll go with her Jane." Will said.  
"Only if she'll agree," she said looking at Lexie, she had curled up into a ball, and her head was down. She kneeled down next to her and grabbed her face. "Lexie, I _WANT_ to go with you but I _HAVE_ to stay here." Lexie let out a sob, "It's ok! Will here is going to go with you, he's a nice guy, Ok? Can you trust me?"  
"I know" was all she said and gave Jane a hug.

They put her on the stretcher and took off. She remembered being frightened and gripping the sheets with all her strength. "You need to relax, ok? We just need to make sure that you don't need stiches."  
_STITCHES! NO, NO NEEDLES_, her grip tightened, she wanted to cry, but could not. She felt a warmth engulf her hand. It was his hand, his touch burned her skin, she looked down, her hand was small compared to his. She turned her hand to hold his, giving him a small squeeze and a small smile. She laid back, the pain was becoming stronger, she felt a tear escape her eye, and wiped it away. Keeping her eyes closed trying to wield the pain away he squeezed her hand. This brought her back, she was wide awake now.  
"Does it hurt a lot?" She just nodded, "Can't you give her anything?"  
"I'll be ok," she said reassuringly.  
Once at the hospital she was put in a room, she held onto Will's hand, not wanting to let it go. A nurse and doctor came in to ask her questions and checked on her. They told her that they could not give her anything for her pain because of the medicine she took, but if she felt as if she could not endure it any more to let them know. They said everything looked fine and might not need stitches, but she would need a CT scan to be sure and to make sure there was no other damage. They wanted to keep her overnight. Her ankle was badly sprained and she would have to stay off of it for a couple of days.  
"Are you OK?"  
"There is no point in complaining, no one cares."  
"I think you are allowed to complain in a hospital everyone here is in pain," he told her with a small smile.  
The door opened and she saw her father walk in, he looked angry. She quickly withdrew her hand from Wills.  
"What happened!?" Was all he said, not acknowledging Will.  
"Jane and I were racing, I got scared by the lightning and thunder, Aries panicked, I lost control and fell. That's all I remember."  
"What were you doing so far from the house didn't you see the clouds this morning?"  
"The sky had cleared up-'  
"You know how quickly the weather changes! You also know that Jane gets sick easily! You're lucky it's only a fever, though she will have to stay over at the Bingley's. What about your horse? What would you do had you broken your arm?"  
"I'm sorry,"  
"Don't apologize to me apologize to Jane, when you get home. When are they going to release you?"  
"They need to do a CT scan, then they will know more, but I have to stay the night."  
"So I'm going to have to come all the way back here-"  
"No sir, I will stay with the De Boughs, Anne has already made plans to pick me up and I will be going to her house."  
"Ok then, I am going to go try and see if I can try to hurry them up, you know I hate to drive in this weather."  
"If you're going to go check on Jane, perhaps Mr. Darcy would like to join you?"  
"No I am sure the Bingley's are more than capable of taking care of her, but I will drop you off." He said to Will acknowledging him.  
He left the room, and Lexie felt a pain in her palm she stared at it, she saw Wills hand reaching for it, and pry it open. There was blood coming from crescent moon marks. Will saw this and got up to get her tissue. She hated being in physical pain, it made her feel her emotional pain more.  
"Can you please call Anne and let her know what happened and that I'll be staying with her? She will understand." She said with tears threatening to escape.  
"Yes, can I ask you something, and you promise not to get angry?"  
*"No, no, no. You can't promise something like that. I have no idea what you're gonna ask me. So you can go ahead and ask me what you're gonna ask me, and my natural response could be to get mad. But then, through no fault of my own, I would have broken my promise." She laughed a little.  
"Of course I am sorry." He said very seriously.  
She laughed and reached for his hand, "No do not be. It's a quote, you know from the movie Pulp Fiction?" She looked at him and he had no idea what she was talking about. "I am sorry, I have this book, where I write down all of these quotes, sayings, poems, songs or the parts of them that stand out the most. I read it very often and I believe that they are imbedded in my head. Please ask your question." She said in a pleading manor and gave his hand a small squeeze.  
"No, now I am convinced that you would get angry and I do not want to add to your stress."  
"How about this, you may ask your question, if I get angry I will not answer it."  
"Why do you take all of those medications?"  
"Although my doctor does not believe that I need them, I do. They are for anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and Anxious Personality Disorder. They help with Neurotic excoriations. Um it's when you scratch yourself repetitively and get lesions on your skin from it."  
"Why does your doctor think you do not need them?"  
"She has told me that I am not depressed, I am only cynical, I have a realistic view of the world, eccentric in my own way. I like her explanation 'Every single shred of joy and wonder has been tarnished, consumed and rejected by the cold reality.' I like to think of things as the song "Mad World" by Tears for Fears. I guess you could say my way of thinking is *nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, and everyone is going to die." She avoided his gaze.  
"Why do you think you need them?" He said quietly.  
*"Life is pain, life is only pain, we are all taught to believe in happy fairy tale endings, but there is only blackness. Dark depressing loneliness that eats at your soul." She swallowed hard. "For as long as I can remember, I have been a disappointment, invisible, unwanted. The pills numb the pain, they helped me build my wall."  
Her father came back in with coffee, sat down on a chair, and turned on the TV. "We're going to be here for a lot longer, unless you would like to find your own ride." He said without looking at Will.  
"Yes please excuse me, while I make a call."

He had returned to say goodbye, Lexie told him thank you for everything, emphasizing the word, then he was gone. His presence was greatly missed, she did not even speak to her father, she just kept thinking about Will, and the events of today. She needed to talk to Dr. Stone, she needed her perspective, she needed a shoulder to cry on. She wished it could be Will's, then it hit her. She had just opened up to him, she had never opened up so easily to anyone. It took a long time for her to be comfortable with Dr. Stone, even at times it was difficult to open up to Anne and Mary. She wished to know what he was thinking what he thought. Would he ignore her now, now that he knew. Could she handle that, could she deal with the heart ache of knowing he thought ill of her. She knew he would never be with someone like her, someone who was broken, who took pills, who was nothing special. She began to wonder if anyone would ever accept her the way she was and for the first time began to think of what her life might be like if she did not take the pills. Dr. Stone often said she did not approve of her taking them and that they were not necessary. This thought scared her, she loved to feel nothing, numb. But then she started to remember his eyes, his touch, his smell, how safe she felt in his arms. She felt at peace around him. Damn him, and these feelings she thought, and tried to forget about them. Telling herself that all she needed were her pills, with no luck. Her thoughts kept going back to him, and how HE made her feel. If she ever wanted to experience those feelings in her life with someone she knew she had to stop taking her pills. Rose would often tell her that no one would want her because of it, among other things. _I DO NOT NEED ANYONE, I'VE BEEN ALONE ALL MY LIFE_ she would think, now she wasn't so sure if she wanted to spend the rest of her life alone. She was trying to think of how it all started, how did she get to where she was. She wished she could go back, back and just stay there, she was content in her bubble, now she didn't know what she was. She just knew that she needed to make a change, and the thought terrified her.

***Mia Wallace, Pulp Fiction**

***Morty Smith, Rick and Morty**

***Pete-Goth Kid, South Park**

**A/N: Although I did research the pills that Lexie takes, I am not a doctor, I do not know the effects that the pills would have on her, nor if they can all be taken at the same time. I have taken Zoloft though and I had felt numb in a way, so that is what I am basing her feelings on. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter, it took me a long time to write I am trying to make each chapter no longer than 6,000 words. Hope you enjoy:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 13

Looking outside his window he knew that the weather was going to be bad, and decided to stay inside. He knew how unpredictable the weather could be, so he decided to be lazy for a change and stay in bed, eventually though he woke up and got ready. Checking his email he saw that he had three emails. One was from his father, apologizing in advance that he was not going to be able to come down for his birthday next week. He was going to a different country for an important business trip. His father informed him that his Aunt Catherine had already planned a small dinner, and that Georgiana would be coming and staying at the De Bough's. Although he was a little upset that his father was not coming, it was nothing new. He was happy though that he would at least be able to spend time with his sister. The second email was from his cousin Richard, checking up on him, and seeing how everything was going. Will asked him if he was going to be able to come for his birthday, and told him that all was well. Georgie's email brought a smile to his face. He could read the excitement the way she wrote about coming down to visit him, even if it meant that she would have to stay with their aunt. The thought bothered him that his poor sister would have to stay there all alone. Although Anne was there he knew that they were both shy and they would probably not speak much. He told her that he was also excited that she was coming and looking forward to her visit. He was happy that she seemed to be in high spirits, and that he would truly get to see how well she was doing and not just telling him that she was doing fine.

When he saw the sky clear up, he took a break and went to walk around the house to stretch his legs. The clouds returned darker than earlier. He made his way upstairs and decided to get some homework done. He berated himself for not doing it the previous night as he usually would have, but he had started to think about Elizabeth. The reason why he was doing things out of character, he found it harder to concentrate at school and even harder to stay focused at all. He had tried to be civil with her this last past week. All he had managed to do though was start to argue with her. It had become one of his favorite things to do, he liked how passionate she was defending her ideas, and that she did not seem to act like other girls around him did at school. He heard booming thunder eventually followed by heavy rain, and got started on his homework, deciding to get at least half of it done before making his way to eat breakfast. Everyone would be waking up late knowing that Mr. and Mrs. Bingley went out of town and would not be back until Sunday night, and was actually glad that he had homework, it would give him an excuse to avoid Caroline. The doorbell ringing and there was frantic knocking, he could hear Caroline shouting to Charlie to answer the door and send the person away. Curiosity got the better of him and he made his way downstairs, it seemed that the girls were of the same mind set. He saw Jane, crying on the floor. She was as pale as paper, dripping wet, her usually perfect blonde straight hair was a mess, and somehow she still managed to look beautiful. He wondered what she was doing there, it was still pretty early and she was not wearing a jacket.

Charlie explained what happened and he knew Charlie wanted to play the night in shining armor, but his instincts kicked in. He told Charlie what needed to be done and took off on Jane's horse alone. He knew Jane would benefit from having someone who would remain calm with her, being left alone with Caroline and Louisiana, would make worry more than she was. Making his way to where Alexa was, pretty hard, luckily the rain lightened and was able to find her. She was on the ground with a jacket wrapped around her. She looked like she was sleeping. Then he noticed a red light puddle under her head and he kneeled down and tried to wake her up. It did not work he grabbed her face and called out her name again, her eyes fluttered open. She was staring straight into his eyes. They had a dazed look to them. Her hand cupped his check, she called him beautiful, still staring straight into his eyes, and then she lost consciousness. He felt a pull in his heart. He called out her name again praying that she would wake up, and they would make it back to the Bingley's before the rain came back. She opened her eyes and stared again, he stared back, he could see the yellow in them that Anne had described, got lost in her gaze. If you look closely enough you could see how beautiful her eyes were. He couldn't break his gaze. It was as if she was staring into his soul. The cold wind hit him and he snapped back to reality. He told her that he needed her to stay awake, she nodded. She winced and reached for her head, and quickly pulled her hand away and he saw her staring at her hand, her fingers were covered in blood. She started to panic, he felt her tense up and start to hyperventilate. He could tell she was having a panic attack. He remembered what Mrs. Reynolds would do to calm him down and hoped that it would work for her. Grabbing a hold of her face he begged her to look at him, it did not help, he had her attention but she started gasping for air. He told her to focus on something. Anything and she looked at him. Her eyes changed to a pale yellowish green, and her pupils were large, but she was breathing normal now. The rain stopped, but it was sprinkling, he gave her a while to calm down, and then she began to shiver.

He helped her into the jacket that had been over her, he helped her up and she collapsed, he panicked sand started to worry how they were going to make it back if she was not conscious. She said she was just lightheaded and collapsed again. He decided to scoop her up into his arms, she snuggled closer to him. Subconsciously he tightened his grip. She fit perfectly in his arms. He struggled to put her on Jane's horse and climb up behind her. As they were making their way back, she started to lean forward and almost slipped out of his hand. He pulled her to him, tightening his grip. She asked for Jane as if she were a child, he told her that she was safe with Charlie. He felt her arm wrap around his tightly and she snuggled into his embrace. He felt a strange energy go through him. He could smell her hair, it smelled like coconuts, and she smelled like lavender. Trying to focus on something else he was telling her that they were almost at the Bingley's and that help would be there. He asked what happened, she did not answer, but she still had a tight grip on him. He shook her, called to her. She forgot where they were going, speaking in a childlike tone, she said her head hurt. He was surprised that she had not complained about her pain more, she couldn't recall much it seemed. Luckily they reached the house and Charlie came out with towels, told them that the ambulance was on its way. Charlie handed him a towel and helped him with Alexa, she stumbled again and asked for Jane. She fell on her hands and knees and vomited, they let her stay there to be sure she wouldn't vomit again. He picked her up into his arms and took her inside, worried that she was too weak to make it inside. He put her down on the floor in the hallway hoping that the ambulance would soon be there. Jane came running in and threw herself at Alexa and started to kiss and hug her. Then she quickly stood up and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. He looked towards Charlie who was turning red with jealousy, while Jane must have said thank you to him and G-d a million times.

Alexa numbly called out to Jane and she quickly returned to attend to her. He dried himself, he wanted to change, but wanted to be here when the ambulance arrived, to tell them how he found Alexa and how she had been acting. Worry come across Alexas' face she and pushed Jane. She told Jane that she was burning. He thought she was hallucinating but Charlie went up to them and felt Jane's forehead. He heard the siren and went outside to let them in. He told them that the girls got trapped in the storm. Alexa must have fallen off her horse and hit her head. When he found her she was unconscious and bleeding from her head. He told them she almost had a panic attack, was dazed and vomited. One of them attended Jane, and the other Alexa. His attention was on Alexa, she seemed sedated, staring, but at nothing in particular. She was responding to the questions and heard her say she was in a good amount of pain, but she showed no signs of it. She listed the medicine that she was taking like was counting from one to ten. He was surprised that she mentioned Zoloft, he knew from commercials that it was for depression. The woman told her she was going to have to go to the hospital, and she shouted and shoved the lady away as if she was going to hurt her. She cried for Jane and looked around everywhere, he could see Alexa wanted to cry but was trying hard not to. Jane started protesting to go with her despite the fact that she was clearly sick. She looked worse, her cheeks and nose were now red and he knew the only thing keeping her strong was the worry she had over Alexa. He offered to go to the hospital, and keep her company to make sure she was ok. In the ambulance he could tell she was scared and at the mention of stiches want to cry. He looked down at her hands. Her knuckles were white from gripping the sheets. He put his hand over hers and it helped her relax, her hand turned to hold his, she give him a tight squeeze and a small smile. He felt the same feeling from earlier. She laid back and he saw a tear escape her eye, as quickly as it came she wiped it away, he asked if she was in pain, her grip tightened a little and she just nodded told him she would be ok.

By the time they reached the hospital Alexa seemed to be alert and aware of what was happening. He saw her fill out a form quickly while still holding his hand. He did not mind though, it was comforting. He looked at her hand writing, it was small, perfect, neat and in cursive. Almost like his, but is handwriting was narrower than hers. They took her into a room and a nurse and doctor came in. The nurse bandaged her sprained ankle. They did not want to give Alexa any medication for the pain because of the reaction she might have to it, and told her she might not need stitches. He saw the relief on her face, which disappeared when she was told she would have to stay the night.

"Are you OK?" He asked hoping to put her at ease.

"There is no point in complaining, no one cares." She said impassively.

"I think you are allowed to complain in a hospital everyone here is in pain," he said with a small smile, hopping she would smile too. He did not have the chance, the door to the room opened and he saw her father walk in with an angry look on his face. She quickly withdrew her hand from his and just as quickly he took his hand off the bed and let it drop. Without acknowledging him, her father angrily asked her what happened. He was shocked that her father was angry and did not seem worried about her.

Will was shocked beyond words, he was so angry. He could not believe her own father was indifferent to his daughter who was in the hospital, showing more concern for Jane even though she just had a cold. His father who hardly showed his feelings was more caring than that he thought to himself. Looking at Alexa he felt bad, she kept her head down and was staring at her hand. He looked and saw it was balled up into a fist, he reached for it but she kept her hand closed. Her knuckles were white and he pried her hand open to hold it. He opened it and saw four bloody crescent moons where her nails punctured her skin. He was surprised that she had kept a straight face the whole conversation with her father, and did not show any emotions. He got her a tissue and held her hand while he pressed it to her palm. She spoke and he looked at her eyes they were watery but she still would not cry. They were a beautiful dark shade of green.

"Can you please call Anne and let her know what happened and that I'll be staying with her? She will understand." He thought it was weird that it was more of a statement than a question, and wondered how often something like this happened for her to know she did not _need_ to ask for permission from her father or Anne.

"Yes, can I ask you something, and you promise not to get angry?" He actually had many questions. He wanted to get to know her, make her feel better. He wanted to get her mind off of her father's lack of interest in her wellbeing, her answer threw him off.

*"No, no, no. You can't promise something like that. I have no idea what you're gonna ask me. So you can go ahead and ask me what you're gonna ask me, and my natural response could be to get mad. But then, through no fault of my own, I would have broken my promise." She laughed a little.

"Of course I am sorry." He said very seriously, though confused at her laughter.

She laughed, it was like music to his ears, and she reached to hold his hand. Her hands felt different from each other realized her right hand was soft, delicate and on her left hand her fingers were calloused.

"No do not be. It's a quote, you know from the movie Pulp Fiction?"

He just looked at her, he had never heard of it.

"I am sorry, I have this book, where I write down all of these quotes, sayings, poems, songs or the parts of them that stand out the most. I read it very often and I believe that they are imbedded in my head. Please ask your question." She said in a pleading manor and gave his hand a small squeeze.

It made him happy that she did not seem upset, and that he got to know something about her.

"No, now I am convinced that you would get angry and I do not want to add to your stress."

"How about this, you may ask your question, if I get angry I will not answer it."

Debating what her reaction would be he contemplated on his question and asked the first thing that came to thought.

"Why do you take all of those medications?"

"Although my doctor does not believe that I need them, I do. They are for anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and Anxious Personality Disorder. They help with Neurotic excoriations. Um it's when you scratch yourself repetitively and get lesions on your skin from it." She answered nonchalantly.

He did not know what to say, he was surprised and shocked.

"Why does your doctor think you do not need them?"

"She has told me that I am not depressed, I am only cynical, I have a realistic view of the world, eccentric in my own way. I like her explanation 'Every single shred of joy and wonder has been tarnished, consumed and rejected by cold reality.' I like to think of things as the song "Mad World" by Tears for Fears. I guess you could say my way of thinking is *nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, and everyone is going to die." She avoided his gaze.

He stared at her and thought about what she just said. He never heard the song and wanted to look it up now along with all of the reasons why she took medication. He could not believe how she viewed life. It made him depressed to think about the truth in her words, and it made him sad to think about how long she had felt this way and why. No one should have to or be made to feel this way.

"Why do you think you need them?" He said quietly. He wanted to know, he did not know why, but he wished he had not asked.

*"Life is pain, life is only pain, we are all taught to believe in happy fairy tale endings, but there is only blackness. Dark depressing loneliness that eats at your soul." She swallowed hard. "For as long as I can remember, I have been a disappointment, invisible, unwanted. The pills numb the pain, they helped me build my wall."

Her father came back in with coffee, sat down on a chair, and turned on the TV. "We're going to be here for a lot longer, unless you would like to find your own ride." He said without looking at him.

"Yes please excuse me, while I make a call."

He called Anne to let her know what happened, and she thanked him and told him she would be there in a while. Then he called Charlie and asked him to come pick him up. Charlie told him that he was already in the city. His sisters were hungry and wanted food from a restaurant they had eaten at when they first moved in. He did not to be in the room any longer with Alexa's father and the uncomfortable silence he knew was inevitable so he went to the room to say his goodbyes. Alexa thanked him for everything and heard the emphasis of the word. He did not have to wait long for Charlie and they made their way home, once there he helped Charlie with the food. Jane had been asleep in a guest room so Charlie, Louisiana, Caroline and he ate their lunch talking about this morning's events. The doorbell rang and Will who had finished eating went to go answer. He opened the door and he was shocked to see Elizabeth, in a raincoat with an umbrella in one hand and a backpack. Her curly hair was in a messy ponytail, frizzy from the weather and her shoes and jeans were covered in mud. He just stared at her, he noticed that her cheeks were flushed and she had that sparkle in her eyes. One of her eyebrows shot up, but neither said anything. Charlie came up behind him and let her in. He saw her look around in awe.

"Lizzie! Did you walk all the way here?" Charlie asked.

"Yea," she said with a smile "How is Jane doing?"

"She's doing great, well that is she is doing well for someone who is sick. I was just going to check up on her." Charlie led her up the stairs.

"Louisiana! Did you see her pants? They were covered to her knees in mud! And her hair, she looked horrible." Caroline said laughing. "I bet," she told Darcy in a whisper," that her eyes don't seem so pretty now." She said laughing.

"Actually they were brightened by the exercise." He said watching her climb the stairs.

Caroline stayed quiet, fuming.

Elizabeth and Charlie stayed upstairs and after a while to avoid Caroline, he went outside. Jane's horse was grazing in the grass, and he decided to go get Alexa's horse and ride it back. However her horse did not seem to like him, and kept trying to rear him off. He could tell it was agitated, but Will had been riding all his life and knew how to handle it. When he reached the house everyone minus Jane were downstairs in the living room, Caroline and Louisiana were on their phones watching TV and Charlie was doing his homework, Elizabeth was reading a book. Charlie made his presence known.

"Darcy! Where have you been, and why are you all muddy?"

"I went to go get Alexa's horse."

"Aries let you ride him!?" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"Yes." He replied indifferently.

"Wow, he's never let anyone but Lexie on him, I'm surprised he didn't throw you off."

"He tried…How is your sister?" He asked to make sure Alexa was fine.

"She's doing a little better, her fever isn't as high, and right now she's sleeping."

"I'm glad to hear and Alexa?" He asked a little annoyed that she too didn't seem concerned with the sister who was in the hospital.

"My father said she was ok."

Hearing this made him angry again. He knew that Alexa was not ok. He remembered the blood coming from her head, and on her hand. He excused himself and went to go shower. It was already going to be four he was ready again. He went downstairs, Elizabeth was with Jane and Charlie, Caroline and Louisiana were flipping through the channels thinking about what to eat for dinner. Elizabeth came back downstairs, she looked tired. She was putting on her raincoat getting ready to leave.

"Well Charlie, I think I should be heading home before it decides to rain again, and before the sun goes down. Thank you for letting Jane stay the night, I will come back tomorrow for her, when I can get hold of a car."

"Lizzie you can't leave, I'm sure Jane would love for you to stay longer, and it would make her feel better. Why don't you stay the night? We have plenty of room."

"Um, well I don't have any clothes, and I still have a lot of homework to do."

"Why don't you let Will give you a ride to pick up your things, and you guys can pick up pizza?"

"Um, no it's ok-"

"Nonsense, I won't take no for an answer." Charlie insisted.

"Ok, let me just go tell Jane, then we can take off?"

"Yes." He said, he couldn't believe his luck he was going to get to finally spend time alone with her.

They went to the Bennet household first. The car ride was spent in silence, he got down with her. The house observed was pretty big, but nothing great. The property although large was nothing compared to the Bingley's. They entered the house and her father greeted her lovingly, and asked how Jane was doing. He looked around, there was a huge case filled with trophies, blue ribbons and certificates. It was almost like a shrine. He studied them closer. They were all Alexa's. Mr. Bennet volunteered for them to drop off Alexa's things she needed for school with Hurst. He would meet them in the town square. Not wanting to be left alone with her family he followed her to the room she shared with Alexa. He looked around. It was two rooms in one. Lizzie's side of the room, (she was stuffing things into a bag on the bed) had a couple posters of bands on the walls, and pictures of her with family and friends. She had shelves with a couple of trophies. Her side of the room was messy, the bed sheets and pillows were colorful, the bookshelf was covered with books and her desk was buried under a tornado of papers. Alexa's walls were almost completely covered with art, and photographs. All of the paintings and drawings upon closer inspection were signed by Anne, and the photographs, all of nature, had a signature with S and H he assumed to be from Hurst. Every frame on the wall was different from the other, none of them matched. Each piece was like its own masterpiece and seemed to be perfect in the spot that they were placed. Her side of the room was perfectly neat. Nothing was out of place. The bookshelf held some books, but the majority was CD's. There must have been hundreds of them. He noticed that while Elizabeth had matching furniture, Alexa's, although matching colored, was not the same. Elizabeth asked him to get a bag that was in the closet, Alexa's backpack and her violin. He opened the closet, it was like the room. Half of it was a mess, and the other half, the clothes were arranged by color. Her bag was already packed. While Elizabeth was still getting her things ready his attention went to one of the picture frames over the desk. It was a green 6th place ribbon. He heard a rattling like noise and turned around Elizabeth was carrying a purple small bag, and placed it in Alexa's backpack.

The drive to the town square was quiet, Will turned on the radio to make up for the silence. Wanting to talk to her he asked her if the radio station was ok, but if it was not that she could change it. She didn't answer. He turned down the radio to ask again. She replied that she heard him but did not want to give him the opportunity to criticize her. He replied that it was not his intention, and that she could change the station if she wanted to. He got angry, why did she seem to misjudge him. Alexa's phone went off it was a text from Hurst, he was already there. Hurst saw them pull up and went to them. He thanked Will for his help today, with clear gratitude in his voice, shook his hand and patted him on the back. He said hello to Elizabeth and proceeded on his task. He had forgot her cell phone and Will went to take it to him.

"Yes, thank you! I am afraid Anne would have my head if I forgot something." He said genuinely thankful.

"How is Alexa doing?" He asked.

Hurst's smile faded. "She, she is- She is good I believe. Luckily no stiches are required. Although her skull cracked, it was a tiny fracture that will heal on its own. The CT scan showed some swelling in her brain. It is nothing unusual though." He paused, "But-but there is something different about her, she, well, she…. I don't know sorry I'm just worried about her. Anne is with her now, and will stay the night with her. As soon as she is released I will take her to Anne's. Lexie told me what you did and I just want you to know Anne, Mary and I are really are thankful." He coughed. "I better go, cannot keep Anne waiting too long."

The car ride to the pizza parlor was quiet. He was too busy thinking about what Hurst said. His first thoughts were about Anne. Was she like his aunt? The thought scared him, but he would also be angry if something important was forgotten. Then he started to think about Alexa and Hurst, they were obviously close, it was obvious to his aunt. He was going to stay the night with her, one would assume that they were an item, even at the party she had assumed Hurst had followed her outside. The thought that they liked each other upset him a little, but left as soon as it came. He wondered what Hurst meant when he said she seemed different. He really did not know her so his interactions with her although were strange, he would not be able to tell her being her normal self from today. They arrived at the restaurant, Elizabeth got down with him and she beat him to carry the boxes. He was too busy trying to be a gentleman and carry the boxes. He did not realize she was already opening the door to leave. On the way to the house he tried to start a conversation.

"Your sisters and you must be in a bunch of activities, to obtain all those trophies in the living room."

"They're all Lexie's." She said with a hint of anger in her voice.

"She must be a very accomplished to have so many." He automatically replied.

"Or a robot," she muttered.

"Why do you say that?"

"It is impossible for a normal person to do everything she's done." She said with a bit of anger.

"What is it she has done that you think it impossible?"

"She can play two instruments, she's really good at the piano, but she's amazing at the violin. She even moves like a robot. She sings, she's the smartest in her class. You know she has a perfect GPA? Since she was in elementary, she could have already graduated, I don't know why she would choose to stay in school. Would you still be in school if you had the chance to get out? She can speak three languages, and read them as well. Oh and didn't you notice how neat her side of the room is? The sheets on her bed are perfect, and she irons all her clothes before she hangs them, and then irons them if they have a tiny wrinkle. I swear sometimes I think she has OC-" She stopped talking and he looked at her, she seemed embarrassed.

"Nothing you just mentioned is impossible for one person to do."

"Of course it's impossible, can you name anyone?''

"I could name a few," he said thinking about Georgie, and for some reason trying to defend Alexa.

"_Sure_." She sarcastically said followed by a small laugh.

"Your sister does not seem to be happy-"

Her head snapped to look at him so fast he did not get to finish his sentence. He saw fire in her eyes that added to their beauty. She had said something he did not hear, and decided to stay quiet and not anger her. Only the radio was heard the rest of the way. They got there and ate. Elizabeth went upstairs to give Jane some soup, and to check on her. It wasn't until late at night that she came back. They were all working on their homework, and she joined them. Everyone was quiet. Will was working on his English homework, writing an essay. And Caroline, who had been trying to get his attention, broke the silence. They talked for a while and eventually everyone went to sleep.

His head hit the pillow and he could feel how exhausted he was. It had been a long day, instead of thinking of Elizabeth as usual, his thoughts went to Alexa. He tried to remember their first encounter which he had not given a second thought. All he could think was he was at least a head taller than her. She had an hourglass figure, her clothes had hugged her recently wet skin. Her hair looked straight, probably from being wet. And he thought her rather plain looking. He could remember her laughing and then quickly turned sad, when he next saw her. When she sang she had that same sadness in her voice. They had met both times under embarrassing circumstances, but that did not stop them from talking. He remembered being comfortable around her then. Her saying that no one must have mentioned her at the welcoming party made sense and he now doubted that she was mentioned to anyone but Mrs. Bingley. She did not want to talk about herself, he had asked why she attended a different school she changed the subject so he came to the conclusion that she was not vain. Every girl he knew would always start to talk about themselves and try to make him talk, like Caroline. In fact all of her accomplishments he learned from Elizabeth. With all of her accomplishments, her view of life puzzled him even more. Wouldn't she be happy to have accomplished so much? He knew that her friends held her in the highest esteem and that they cared deeply for her, she would sacrifice her own comfort to help her friends. He knew she did not like to show her feelings, and the ones she did show betrayed how she truly felt on the inside. Much like he did, they seemed to have a mutual understanding. Had either of her parents ever told her that they loved her? Did she have any happy memories? 'Every single shred of joy and wonder has been tarnished, consumed and rejected by cold reality.' No, her childhood must have been like his. He wondered what else they had in common. Her words rang in his head, she seemed to have no hope for a better tomorrow, she saw the world for the ugly place it was. She seemed so fragile, yet strong at the same time. He wanted to understand her. He drifted off to sleep.

***Mia Wallace, Pulp Fiction**

***Morty Smith, Rick and Morty**

***Pete-Goth Kid, South Park**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Here is Lizzie's POV, (pt. 3) of Ch. 12**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 14

Lizzie could not get out of bed, she could tell from the lighting in the room that it was dark out. Looking at Lexie's side of the room she knew that it was morning, her bed was already made, and the curtains had been opened. Looking out the window she could see the grey clouds and figured today was a good day to be lazy. After about an hour had passed, she got ready and made her way downstairs. She hears thunder followed by the rain. Everyone but Jane and Lexie were eating breakfast. "Morning," she told everyone in a chipper mood. "Where are Jane and Lexie?"

"Haven't seen them this morning," replied her father. "If they're together, they must be out ridding."

"OH! I hope they make it back soon. You know how sick Jane gets." Her mother said.

Her mother asked how school was going and Lydia and Kitty took over the conversation, talking about boys, and the latest gossip. Half an hour passed, and Lizzie began to worry. "They should have made it back by now."

"Maybe they found shelter and they're just waiting until it passes." Her father told her. Another half an hour passed, no one but her seemed worried they hadn't come back yet. The phone rang, she ran to answer it but her mother beat her to it. When she hung up the phone, her mother seemed almost happy.

"What happened? Was it Jane? Are they ok?" Lizzie asked.

"Oh Jane is fine! In fact it's perfect! She's at the Bingley's house and will have to stay the night. She has a mild fever, and Charlie refuses to let her leave until her fever breaks. I'm sure it won't break until at least tomorrow. Can you believe her luck? Now she'll get to know Charlie better and hopefully they'll start dating. Oh! Imagine all the things he'll buy for her, I remember when your father and I first started dating he would take me out, buy me little things every now and then." Her mother said a bit sad.

"Well what about Lexie? You know she can't stay the night there, she has to take her pills."

"Oh, Alexa isn't going to stay the night she's going to the hospital."

"What! Why? What happened this time?"

"Lizzie calm down, she fell off her horse, just a bump in the head. It's just procedure. Now go tell your father, I have to call your Aunt Grace to let her know about Jane and Charlie!"

Lizzie knew there was no point in trying to tell her mother not to jump to conclusions, and went to tell her dad what happened. She knew he would be locked in his office, and knocked their secret knock to let him know it was her, she heard the door unlock and her father opened it.

"Have they returned yet?" He said leading her to the couch.

"No, Jane is going to stay at the Bingley's, she has a fever, and Lexie fell off Aries and has to go to the hospital, and you know that Lexie doesn't like hospitals." She said in a hinting voice.

"I see, I'm sure she'll be fine. She knows all of the information she needs to know." One look from Lizzie told him she was truly worried about her. "But I will go check on her myself, and let you know how she's doing." He told her with a reassuring smile.

"Thank you dad," she kissed him on the cheek. "I know you hate to go out in this weather, but mom would most likely crash, and we'd have too people in the hospital." She said laughing.

"Hmm, that does seem like a good option. It would definitely be quieter around here." He said in a teasing tone. She rolled her eyes at him. "All right I'll go get ready."

Lizzie went up to her room and sent several texts to Jane and tried calling her. She did not answer. _SHE MUST BE SLEEPING _she thought. She tried to keep busy by doing homework, and reading, but she couldn't stop worrying. After an hour of trying to keep her mind occupied she decided to head over to the Bingley's and see how Jane was doing herself. She asked her mom if she could borrow the other car, but her mom had already promised Lydia and Kittie to take them shopping for a party they were going to tonight. Her dad had already left, so she decided to walk there. The rain had stopped and it didn't look like it would rain anymore. She got a bag ready for Jane, with pajamas, clothes for tomorrow, brush, toothbrush, ect. Thinking it might rain again, she put on a raincoat and took an umbrella. Going along the road would have taken longer so she decided to walk through the fields. Although it was a bit humid she was glad she decided to wear jeans. It was muddy and her shoes were soon covered in it, followed by her jeans. She would stop to catch her breath and rest, but finally made it.

When she got closer to the house she was in awe. She had only ever seen it at a distance. The previous neighbors only used the house for vacation and did not like their neighbors. The only time she had seen it up close she and Lexie jogged all the way to the edge of the property. She rang the doorbell, and Darcy answered it. He just stared at her with a scowl on his face. She raised her eyebrow challenging him to say something about her appearance, she knew she her hair must have frizzed, and saw the mud on her pants. He didn't say anything, he just stood there, the fact that he didn't invite her in angered her. She was about to say something, but Charlie came and let her in. She entered the house and she couldn't help but look around. She had always wondered what kind of taste Mrs. Bingley had. Everything looked expensive and modern but not in a tacky way. She wondered where Caroline, who liked to wear pink and orange, got her tastes from. He led her up the stairs and she could hear Caroline's annoying laugh, she figured that she was laughing at her.

Entering the room, she could see Jane lying in bed under a mountain of covers. She sprinted towards her, and gave her a tight hug. She didn't mean to wake Jane up, but she was just happy to see she was ok. She could tell that Jane was happy to see her too, Charlie stayed with them, and Jane told Lizzie what happened. Lizzie was proud of Jane for staying calm under pressure and coming to the Bingley's for help. She was upset at Alexa for not having the common sense not to stray too far from home. They both knew how easily influenced Jane was, Jane would not have denied Lexie's request to go racing. Wasn't she the smarter one of them? She could tell that Jane was getting tired again, and decided to let her sleep. She and Charlie went downstairs, and Caroline and Louisiana were watching TV and flipping through magazines. Eventually she got bored and borrowed a book that Charlie had to read for his English class. He was doing homework for another class. She got a text message from her father, _"Lexie is fine, no stiches required, but she has to stay the night, hospital rules with all head injuries. Her friend Anne came so I am heading home."_ She was happy to know Lexie was fine. None of them spoke to each other. It wasn't until Darcy came in that the silence was broken. She was surprised to see that the usually neat and proud Darcy was even remotely dirty. She never thought she would have seen the day. What surprised her more was that he had gone to get Lexie's horse and that Aries had let Darcy ride him. She had seen Aries try to throw her father off, along with other grown men who tried to train him. Lexie was the only one that Aries liked, and would let ride. Darcy showing concern for her sisters also surprised her, but she figured he was human, and being polite. For some reason, that fathomed, her Darcy seemed to get angry, and left, which made her angry. _WHY ASK IF YOU DON'T REALLY CARE? _She thought.

She went to go check up on Jane, and was happy she was awake.

"Oh Lizzie, thank you so much for coming, did you bring the car? I really don't want to impose on them, and I don't want Charlie to see me like this." She said with a stuffy nose.

"No mom had to take Lydia and Kittie shopping and dad went to the hospital to check on Lexie, I was just so worried about you I had to come."

"Oh, how is she? You should have seen her Lizzie, I've never seen Lexie so scared, she almost cried."

"That would have been interesting to see. Well dad told me that she was ok, no stiches, she just has to stay the night."

"I'm glad to hear that. Luckily Will went with her to the hospital, I don't think I would have made it."

"Wait! _Darcy_ went with her?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yes, you know he really is a nice guy Lizzie."

"Doing a couple of good deeds does not make someone nice Jane." Jane was about to say something. "But I'll admit it was nice of him to go with her. Well I brought you some pjs, clothes for tomorrow, brush, toothbrush, ect. But I forgot your phone, I didn't know you had left it at home."

"It's ok, I don't need it. I wish you would have brought my homework though. I didn't finish it all yesterday."

"Only you would think of doing homework while you were sick." She said laughing.

"Well it is our senior year, next year we'll be going off to college. Dad is pushing me to get better grades by the end of the semester."

"Yea," she said quietly she still hadn't told Jane that she wanted to take a year off and travel. She hadn't told anyone. "Look Jane, I'm going to take off before it gets dark, have a long way to walk back."

"Why don't you ask Charlie for a ride, I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking you?"

"No, I don't want to bother anyone, plus I have a lot of thinking to do. I'll be back tomorrow as soon as I can get a car." She said kissing Jane on the forehead. "Now get some rest and I'll tell Charlie to get you some soup and juice. Love you."

"I love you too Lizzie, I'll see you tomorrow." She said lying down.

She made her way downstairs and let everyone know she was leaving. Charlie wouldn't let her leave, and volunteered Darcy to take her home to pick up things to stay the night. She reluctantly agreed, and went upstairs to tell Jane that she would stay the night. She saw that Jane seemed to relax more. She went back downstairs and Darcy was already waiting for her. They entered the garage, and she followed him to a black car. She was surprised that it wasn't a convertible or a huge SUV. The car ride to her house was spent in an uncomfortable silence. Darcy just kept his eyes on the road and she was surprised to see he knew the way to her house. But she didn't say anything, she didn't want to talk to him because for the past week at school the only time they would talk, he would say something that would get her angry and they would start to argue. They got there and she was going to tell him that she would just be a couple minutes, but as soon as he turned off the car he got out. She bit the inside of her cheek. She got a little angry that he just assumed she would invite him in. They entered the house and her father gave her a hug and kiss, on the cheek, and asked how Jane was doing. She told him that she was fine and told him that she was going to stay the night with her, she had just came to pick up some stuff. She looked towards Darcy. He was looking at 'The Shrine' as she had decided to call it. They were all of Lexie's awards since she was a kid. Her mother loved to show it off and boast to visitors about it and her father liked to have it around. He also liked to show off. He thought that it would motivate his other children. The trophies that they got though were put in their rooms and not the trophy case. Her father, in his teasing way, asked Darcy and her to drop off some things for Lexie, with her friend Hurst.

She went upstairs and Darcy followed her, and had to calm himself down._ DOES HE JUST DO WHAT EVER HE WANTS?_ She entered her room, and yet again he entered without permission. Her room was a mess, well it was always a mess but he didn't need more reasons to judge her. She got a bag and started packing. She could see Darcy was looking around mentally critiquing everything in the room with his usual stony façade. She saw him from the corner of her eye studying Lexie's side of the room. She too liked to get lost in the artwork when she was alone. She figured since he was here she might as well make use of him. "Alexa's bag is in the closet, get it? Also, her backpack under the desk, and grab her violin, it's in the corner of the room." She was still packing things trying to remember what else she needed. She left the room to get Jane's phone and her homework, and went into the restroom to grab Lexie's medicine. She placed them in Lexie's backpack, grabbed Lexie's phone too and they were soon on their way, and she texted Hurst. Darcy turned on the radio after a while.

"If you don't like the station, you are more than welcome to change it." He said a little quietly.

She pretended not to hear him. She knew he was doing what he did in the room, judging her. He repeated his statement.

"I heard you the first time Darcy, I just wasn't sure how to answer. You wanted me to say 'Yes' so you can see what type of music I _do_ like, and then you'd be able to happily criticize me, and my tastes. What _you_ didn't know is that I happily always manage not to give people like you the opportunity to judge me, and cheat you out of the pleasure. So, no, I do not want to change the station." She said trying to provoke him.

"I was just letting you know you may change it if you wish." He answered calmly, but his hands betrayed him. She could see him gripping the steering wheel. Lexie's phone went off, it was Hurst saying he was already there, and she replied that they were almost there. Darcy parked the car, and Hurst came up to them. He thanked Will for his help today, with gratitude in his voice, shook his hand and patted him on the back. _I THINK THAT'S THE MOST EMOTION I'VE EVER SEEN FROM HIM. HE MUST LIKE LEXIE A LOT. _She thought smiling. He acknowledged her and said hello in his usual manner. _BUT HE STILL SEEMS TO NOT LIKE ME, OF COURSE HE'D BE NICE TO DARCY, THEY'RE BOTH TOTAL SNOBS._ He got everything and was walking back to his car and she realized that they forgot about Lexie's phone. Luckily Darcy offered to take it to him. They talked for a while and when he got back in the car he looked upset. They didn't talk on the way to the pizza parlor. They got there and while Darcy was paying, Lizzie decided to carry the pizzas. She got a little annoyed that he did not want her to carry them, and then that he did not even open the door for her. It wasn't until she started to push the door open with her shoulder that he opened it.

On the way back to the Bingley's, he started to talk. He brought up the trophy case, of course he would bring it up, it had fulfilled its purpose.

"Your sisters and you must be in a bunch of activities, to obtain all those trophies in the living room." He said hesitantly.

"They're all Lexie's." She said a little angry. It was not that she wasn't proud of Lexie, she was just tired of always having to talk about 'The Shrine' to people who would ask.

"She must be a very accomplished to have so many."

"Or a robot," she muttered. She knew she it was mean to say but for all of her sisters 'accomplishments', Lexie did not show any happy emotions, which bothered her, _THE WORLD AT HER FEET._

"Why do you say that?"

"It is impossible for a normal person to do everything she's done." She said with a bit of anger. She was thinking of her father, and his expectations that he had of her and her sisters because of Lexie.

"What is it she has done that you think it impossible?"

"She can play two instruments, she's really good at the piano, but she's amazing at the violin. She even moves like a robot. She sings, she's the smartest in her class. You know she has a perfect GPA? Since she was in elementary, she could have already graduated, I don't know why she would choose to stay in school. Would you still be in school if you had the chance to get out? She can speak three languages, and read them as well. Oh and didn't you notice how neat her side of the room is? The sheets on her bed are perfect, and she irons all her clothes before she hangs them, and then irons them if they have a tiny wrinkle. I swear sometimes I think she has OC-" She stopped talking, embarrassed to be ranting. Ranting to Darcy, _why couldn't Lexie just be normal?_

"Nothing you just mentioned is impossible for one person to do."

"Of course it's impossible, can you name anyone?'' She knew it wasn't _impossible. _She had just never met anyone else. It was what she told herself to make herself feel better, that even though they were twins, they could not be the same.

"I could name a few," he said. She looked at him skeptically.

"Sure." She sarcastically said followed by a small laugh. She doubted he knew any, and if he did he was just exaggerating those accomplishments.

"Your sister does not seem to be happy-." She snapped her head to look at him so fast he didn't get to finish his sentence. She was shooting daggers at him. Jane had told her that they all knew Lexie took medication. She hated that _he _knew, now he had more of a reason to find fault with her. It angered her that when people found out they automatically assumed the rest of the family was crazy. That was what she hated Lexie was not crazy. She was just depressed, and had anxiety problems, and was different. She mumbled that it was none of his business, but he didn't hear her this time. The rest of the car ride was quiet. They got to the house and ate their pizza. She went upstairs to give Jane some soup, their mother packed. Later in the night she made her way back with the others. They were all working on their homework, and she decided to join them. Everyone was quiet. She could hear Caroline, walking around and sighing loudly trying to catch Darcy's attention but failing miserably. He seemed engrossed in his work. After several more attempts she finally spoke.

"You write so fast Will, I can't believe how neat your handwriting is." She said peaking over his shoulder.

"Actually I write rather slowly," He replied indifferently.

"Just look at how perfect you write, I wish I could write that way."

He didn't say anything, he just kept writing.

"Now I know why you have a 100 in English, you're already on your third page! You must write well if you can write for so long all the time." Caroline said.

"Will doesn't write well, he only writes long essays to make himself sound smart."

"At least it's not like yours Charlie! Your handwriting is so bad, it's like chicken scratch. I've always wondered how you made it so far in school. I would have made you stay in kinder until you learned how to write."

"Hey! It's not my fault. My thoughts come out of my head too fast for my hand to keep up. It does have its advantages though, I guess. Like when _I_ write essays, if I don't know what to write about or put I make it messy enough so the teacher has to guess what I'm trying to say. I guess that's how I've made it so far." He said chuckling.

"At least you're honest about it, and can't be criticized for it." Lizzy said.

"Modesty most of the time is used for a secret agenda. In most cases, people just want to be complimented." Darcy said, without looking up.

"So what do you think I was doing?" Charlie asked in a teasing tone.

"You were boasting. You are really proud of the fact that you're a bad writer. You write too fast; and pretty much said you write without any thought or meaning, and people who try to read what you write, find annoying, a fact which you find amusing. The ability to do things quickly may be a sought after trait, but very often what results, are imperfections and in doing things fast you miss the most important details. I know you too well Charlie, you are always trying new things, but once you get bored you quit without a second thought."

"There is nothing wrong with trying new things till you find something you like." Lizzie said trying to defend Charlie.

"I guess you could just say I'm a free spirit, when I decide to do something it is done in a hurry."

"I would more quickly call you a pushover than a free spirit."

"I agree with you Will, Charlie is a pushover." Caroline said with a big smile.

"And what makes you think I'm a pushover?" Charlie asked.

"You're always changing your mind or doing something you don't want to just to please the other person. Remember the time we went to that annoying kid's party in 6th grade? You are the one who wanted to leave after an hour of being there. Caroline wanted to stay, and when he asked you to stay the night, you did."

"Wow so you can name one time." Charlie said.

"I can actually list multiple times."

"You actually managed to show him off more than he did himself. You did not do yourself enough credit Charlie," Lizzie told him smiling, happy to use Darcy's words against himself.

"I am amazed at how you managed to change his insult into a compliment." Charlie said, and her smile grew. She looked at Darcy who as usual had a scowl on his face. He was still looking at his paper but he had stopped writing. "I know it isn't what he intended to do though. I'm positive he would be happy if I just did what I wanted to do, and not care about what someone else wanted from me."

"Would he be happy that you were doing what you want, or that you're not doing what somebody asked you to?"

"I don't know, ask him. This is too much thinking and I need to concentrate on math right now."

"You expect me to give a reason to an opinion that is not mine. However if the friend asks something of him, that he does not want to do, asks it only because his friend desired it, and asks without reason."

"So you think it's wrong for someone to be a good loyal friend and just do what a friend asked or said?"

"Blind loyalty is not loyalty. You're a fool if the only reason you yield to a friend's opinion is because they have that opinion, you should not act just to please someone else."

"If you like the friend enough, you would be a good friend to do what was asked, without reason. Now if someone was _making_ him do something he didn't want to, then it would be different."

"And if the friend was forcing him to do something for his own good?" Darcy said. Lizzie was thinking about an answer, but Charlie stood up and stretched.

"Well I don't know about you guys but I'm going to bed," said Charlie.

"Yes, I think that's a good idea," said Caroline a little too enthusiastically.

"I should go check on Jane, make sure she's comfortable and see how her fever is."

Everyone said goodnight to each other and went to their rooms. Lizzie checked on Jane, she still had a fever, but it was lower than earlier. She kissed her forehead, and told her goodnight. She went made her way to the room next door. As she lay down she hoped that Jane's fever would break by the morning and they could leave. She didn't want to be here longer than necessary, plus she still had a lot of homework to do. She shouldn't have commented on Darcy's harsh opinions of Charlie, but how did Charlie consider Darcy his best friend? She had no doubt that Darcy was the type of person that would think forcing someone to do something "for their own good" was a good idea. She wished she had said something but Charlie had to interrupt. _OH WELL, _she thought, _NEXT TIME, _and went to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, and follows. I am going to try to mash different POV's into two chapters like part 1 and 2 in a way I suppose. I'm not really sure how to explain it. **

**Here is the rest of Lexie's day with Anne and Hurst POV on Saturday, next chapter I will put Lizzie and Darcy's Sunday. Enjoy:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in Pride and Prejudice, or any rights they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 15

*"_Being a family means you are part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life. No matter what."_ Lexie was happy and grateful for her friends; she did not know where she would be without them. Though she never told them, they were her rock, _they_ were her family. She had always thought of them as her family, more than her own, and now she knew. *"_Family is not always about blood, sometimes it's about who's there to hold your hand and support YOU when YOU need them." _

After Will had left the room her father did not speak to her, she thought that he would at least show his concern for her when they were alone, but he just sat there, not looking at her. After a while she pretended to fall asleep. They took her to get her CT scan and when she returned Anne was waiting in the room waiting. As soon as her father saw that Anne was in the room, he said he was going to go get something to eat, and would return within the hour in a hinting tone. It was lost on both of them. Once he left the room Anne stood up from her chair and went to hug Lexie, to her surprise tears were falling from her eyes. This was as close to crying that Lexie got, she wanted to cry too, but she knew she had to be strong for Lexie. Lexie hugged her tightly, and did not say anything for a while.

"Mary wishes she could be here, but her mother is making her go shopping with yours and your younger sisters." Anne told Lexie. Silence, "Hurst will be here as soon as he can be." Lexie did not say anything, she just nodded.

"What did the doctors say?" Anne asked, worried Lexie had bad news.

She let go of Anne and wiped away the tears, and reached to hold Anne's hands. "It seems as though I do not require any stitches, but I will have to stay the night here. I just came back from the CT scan and I will know more when the doctor returns."

"Are you in a great deal of pain?"

"Not physical, well my head obviously but-" there was a pause and then tears started to fall from her eyes and she pulled Anne in for another hug. "Oh Anne, I'm so confused right now, I just want to go back."

"It is all right Lexie, I am right here." Anne said rubbing circles on her back, hoping that Lexie would confide in her and elaborate. "Do you want to talk about it?" She hesitantly asked.

She took a deep breath in and exhaled. "I do, I really do but not right now. I just need you to hold me. I need you Anne." She said quietly.

Anne was shocked, but tightened her grip. She would not fail Lexie; she was always the one she, Mary or Hurst would turn to in their time of need. She was always there for them and Anne felt honored that Lexie said she needed her. She knew Lexie did not like to 'burden' them with her problems, or how she was doing, or felt. *"You are special, you are important, and you are loved." She told her the same thing Lexie would always tell them.

Lexie tightened her grip and let a sob escape, but quickly got back control. "Thank you Anne. You are my best friend, and I know I have never told you this but I consider you more of a sister than my own. I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too, you my best friend and have always considered you as my sister. I always wished you were, I just wish we had better mother's to choose from." She said with a small chuckle.

Lexie laughed a small laugh, "You know your mother is not so bad, and I would prefer her over Rose."

They held onto each other, until a cough interrupted them. It was Hurst, "I hope I am not interrupting anything." He said with a small smile.

"Hurst!" Lexie yelled and let go of Anne to open her arm out to him. He went to embrace her and wrapped his arms around her hugging her tightly. She returned the hug with equal affection. He instantly felt relief. Anne had called to tell him Lexie had fallen off her horse, and was in the hospital. He had been worried about her welfare, and cancelled his plans for the day. He did not know how but Lexie always managed to make him feel happy with just a small touch, but when they hugged he could feel her love for him. He knew that it was not love in the sense that she was in love with him, nor did he love her in that sense. She had an aura about her that gave off this energy, he could not explain; he felt loved. He looked at Anne; he could see that she was worried. He wished he could hold her and make her feel better, but he knew she was not in love with him as he was with her. Lexie let him go and extended her arm for Anne to join them. The three of them hugged and then broke apart. "I came as soon as I could, what happened?"

"I will explain later I promise. I would like for my father to leave, I believe he is just waiting for the results of the CT scan."

The doctor came in and explained that she had a linear fracture, but did not require stitches. The wound would heal on its own in about three months. She had some swelling in her brain but that was normal, and she should be able to leave tomorrow morning if there were no changes. Hurst who was hungry along with the girls went to go get them some food. Her father came back after Hurst had left and Lexie told him what the doctor had said. He told her he would see if her mother could bring her things later, and then left. As soon as she was sure he was gone, Lexie told Anne everything she remembered had happened earlier, about her father, about Will, that she opened up to him and how he had managed to confuse her and make her feel, she was not sure exactly what she felt yet.

Anne did not say anything, and Lexie did not expect her to. Seeing Anne's face she could tell that Anne wanted to say something but did not know what to say. "It is all right Anne," she said holding both her hands, "you do not have to say anything; _I_ do not even know what to think."

"Lexie thank you for telling me, although I am at a loss for words, I am very happy you confided in me."

"I will only be telling Hurst and Mary about the accident. I will only tell the rest to Dr. Stone, I hope she will be able to meet with me soon so I may get her perspective of things. She always knows what to say, then again that is her job." She said with a small smile.

"I am positive she will make time for you. I wish I knew what to say….Although I do not know William very well, I do not believe that he will no longer wish to speak to you, he is a good man, like Hurst."

"You did not see his face when I told him why I take the pills."

"No I did not, but I could imagine he was shocked. Remember he does not know you like Hurst, Mary, or I do, he does not know how your life has been growing up with your family."

"Anne please do not make it sound so horrible, I know that my life has not been as horrible or hard as others, I know there are people who suffer more than I do, and that there are people who have been through bad situations. It is not as if my life could be turned into a Lifetime movie."

"I know that Lexie, but you cannot tell me that you have not suffered in your own way, even looking at your life through a different perspective as you like to do."

"I- I do not know." She said quietly.

"Do not make your suffering seem insignificant."

"Can we please talk about something else? It is not that I do not appreciate talking to you, thank you for listening. It is just that I am still trying to sort out my thoughts and feelings and it does not help that my head is in pain and the doctors do not wish to give me anything."

"Thank you for talking to me Lexie, I know it is not easy for you." Anne said with a smile.

Hurst walked into the room stopping the conversation. "It was not easy bringing this in here, they tried telling me that outside food was not allowed, but I managed to point out that as long as they did not have a sign saying I could not, I may do as I like." He said smiling proudly.

"Your father would be so proud of you!" Lexie told him chuckling.

"Following in his footsteps after all are we?" Anne said also chuckling.

He tried to frown but failed, and chuckled, "You cannot have a father for a lawyer, and not learn a trick or too."

They ate and Lexie told Hurst what had happened as far as the accident, and how Will helped her.

"I am happy to hear that he got to you in time, I cannot imagine what would have happened if you had been left out there longer." Hurst said his voice breaking.

Lexie grabbed his hand. ''Luckily we do not have to dwell on such thoughts, I am fine, and I will be fine. You heard the doctor, nothing majorly bad happened." She said with a small smile.

"Yes of course," he said squeezing her hand and returning her smile with a small one of his own.

He looked at her and then at Anne. Anne looked deep in thought, and he knew something more had happened. She was not fine. It seemed that she had at least confided in Anne and he was happy. He wished though that he could be there for her the she was there for him.

Lexie called the nurse, she needed to use the restroom.

* * *

He knew he had no reason to complain about his life, he came from money, he was popular, he was good looking; one would think he had nothing to worry about. But he felt like he had to live up to his father's expectations. His father wanted him to be a lawyer like him and his grandfather and work with him and his brother. Go to the college he had gone to, live the life he lived. Just like his older brother. He knew his brother was not happy living the life he was living but he wanted to please his father, and he expected Hurst to also make the same sacrifice and follow along. He did not want to be like them. At least not anymore, and it was all thanks to Lexie that he felt he could be his own person and follow his own dreams. She was the one who had encouraged him to do photography. He had done it for the school paper and enjoyed it but Lexie was the one who told him to do it just for fun and see where it takes him. He thought about when he first met Lexie, she was being bullied by his best friend Johnathan Drake.

Although they were in elementary Silver Magnet was a school that strived most importantly for academics. Johnathan had been angry that a girl who was scholarship student was smarter than him and kicked him out of 'first place'. A girl who's family was beneath his, and an embarrassment beat him at something. She did not belong there he would say, and even then everyone knew she was different. When Lexie had learned to play the violin, he had gotten angrier, and he learned to play the cello. It became a competition for him. But throughout everything Lexie never said anything, nor did she show that she was affected by Johnathan's and the others bullying. She just took it all in stride. She did not talk to anyone, not even the teachers. He did not know why but he felt the need to protect her even then, and he did. He knew at the time Johnathan's feeling towards Lexie were wrong, and horrendous, but later understood it was the way he was raised along with his peers. They were taught that they were better than people who were not as wealthy as they were, and did not come from the same circles as they did from a young age. Soon after people started to leave her alone but they were still vicious and mean to her when he was not around. He got to know her and soon saw how all of her family treated her, her point of view on life. What he admired and loved about her the most was that although she saw life as meaningless, and felt unloved and unimportant, she did not like for others to feel as she did. She made you feel loved and important, and she could do it with just a touch. No one but he, Anne and Mary ever got to see this side of her though. They were the only ones who knew Lexie, and knew how special she was. He could tell that something in her had changed and he hoped it was for the better but only time would tell, for she would not tell him. She would be her normal strong self and carry her 'burden' on her own. He was truly happy that he had not lost Lexie. He did not know what he would do without her.

Anne was thinking the same as Hurst was. She was truly happy nothing worst had happened to Lexie, and that she was still here, she also knew there was something different about her. And it was all thanks to Will. She did not know if to be happy or worried, and she would not know unless Lexie confided in her again. She thought about the first day she had met Lexie. She had her for a class, but Lexie did not talk to anyone, she was just there, quiet and ignored everyone. Eventually the teacher sat them next to each other. Anne hardly spoke in class either and the teacher hoped that they would become friends. It worked; Lexie was her first friend, and her best friend. She met Hurst and Mary through her, her other two and only friends. She remembered telling her mother about Lexie and being fearful that her mother would scare Lexie away, when she demanded to meet her. But Lexie stayed, and had always been there for her. Thanks to Lexie, Anne's relationship with her mother had improved. When her mother found out Lexie was taking pills her mother tried her best to keep Anne away from her. But Anne stood her ground and told her mother no matter what she did Lexie and she would always be friends and nothing she could say or do would change that. That was the first time she stood against her mother and her mother seemed to appreciate that. Her mother had learned how important Lexie was to her, and how much Anne had changed because of her. Lexie made her feel loved and special every time her mother tore her apart. Lexie gave her confidence, she had been the one that encouraged her to draw and paint. She would just doodle here and there, but Lexie told her that she was really good, and would always ask for the doddles and drawings she would see. Lexie had made a collage of them. She put them in a beautiful frame, and the way she had arranged them was brilliant. Her first painting Lexie had loved and she hated it; it was a stick figure with an emotionless expression. The background was a blue sky with green hills and colorful flowers. Lexie begged to keep it, and every other painting she did not like. It was just how Lexie was, she wanted and saw the beauty in things others did not.

Lexie was looking at herself in the mirror of the restroom. The water was running and she washed her face. Her head was in pain, it hurt to stand on her ankle, thoughts were racing through her head and she was fighting the sea of emotions she was feeling. She had to be strong, she was strong; she could not show weakness. What she wanted most of all was to be near him, to talk to him, to be in his arms. No. That was not possible; she looked at herself, and did not recognize the person she saw. Where was the old her? All she saw was a lost and scared girl. What had she ever done to anyone? Why did G-d seem to hate her? She chuckled, G-d? Since when did she believe in him? She use to when she was younger, she loved to believe that there was someone who looked after her, who loved her. But it was all a lie, she would pray to Him, every night. Her prayers were not answered, the world was still a horrible place, people were still human, she did not feel loved, and she always felt alone. There was no one there. Rose's words came back to her. "I have no idea why G-d chose to give me twins, you ruined my figure, what did I ever do to deserve this." _OH NO!_ I sound just like her she thought. No, G-d did not hate her, he was not real. The world was just cruel and unfair, she knew this. At least she had Anne, Mary, and Hurst, _and_ Dr. Stone. That is all she needed she told herself. _AND MUSIC!_ Yes could not forget about music. She wet her face once more and inhaled deeply, she would be ok, she always managed and she would get through this. She made her way back into the room, Anne and Hurst were not there and she figured they must have gone to get some air. She thought about them, she wished Anne could see how in love Hurst was with her; and that they could be happy together, she knew things would change between them, but she did not care, she wanted them to be happy.

After Lexie had left the room both Anne and Hurst were quiet, just sitting there thinking. Hurst suggested they go for a walk and get some candy. Once out of the room Anne turned to Hurst and hugged him tightly, he was shocked but returned the hug. Anne hardly touched him, so he relished her being in his embrace. She started to cry, and he walked her to the lobby so that Lexie would not be able to hear her. They sat there for a while, and he rubbed circles on her back and kissed her forehead. She calmed down, and broke their embrace; he felt a sting in his heart. He looked at her, she was so beautiful, her hazel eyes still had tears in them; her curly jet black hair was a little messy from their hug. Her lips were in a pout and he wished he could just kiss her and hold her when he wished. He did not know when he began to fall in love with her but he knew he had loved her for a long time. She apologized and said that she had just been so worried, but wanted to be strong for Lexie. He hugged her and she did not pull away. He told her it was all right he felt the same way.

As soon as they were out of the room Anne could not help it, she broke down and hugged Hurst. She had cried like she wanted to do but could not. Not in front of Lexie. She loved how she felt in his arms, it was the same way Lexie described being in Wills; safe. He made her feel better just by holding her, the way that Lexie managed to do every time. It hit her she liked Hurst as more than a friend. She had long denied her feelings for him because her mother had wanted them to date. She did not want her mother to believe that she would date him just because she wanted it. But now she knew she could no longer fight it, she loved him. She did not know when she had fallen; she just knew that she had. She reluctantly broke their embrace. She knew he did not love her. She was not special nor beautiful, and apologized. She felt overwhelmed when he hugged her, and she felt everything would be ok. They just sat there for a while, she wanted to stay there, but knew that Lexie needed them too.

They entered the room, and offered Lexie some candy, but did not want any. They had been there for a while and Anne took charge and started to make plans. Lexie called her father and said that Hurst would be able to meet him in order to pick up her things. She did not want to deal with Rose. Anne would stay with her until he returned, but then had to go home. Hurst left, and Lexie fell asleep. Anne called Mary to let her know what had happened. She got bored and started picking at Lexie's callouses. Lexie woke up in a bad mood.

"Anne! Do you know how it takes me to get those?" She said pulling her hand away.

Anne laughed, "Yes, you will have them again by the end of the week."

"True, all right you may entertain yourself at my expense. How long have I been asleep?"

"About 30 minutes, I have already talked to Mary, and filled her in on what happened. She will come over tomorrow when you get to my house."

"Thank you for telling her, that reminds me I need to call Dr. Stone. Would it be all right if I do it now before Hurst returns?"

"Of course you may."

She held on to Anne's hand and called Dr. Stone from the hospital phone and told her about the accident and asked if it would be possible to see her anytime this week. Dr. Stone had told her that she could not during the week but invited her for brunch on Saturday. That way they could all the time they needed to talk.

"That reminds me Lexie, I was going to ask you to stay over next weekend. My mother is throwing a party for William's birthday, and my younger cousin will be staying over. I do not know her, and I was hoping that if you and Mary were there things would not be too awkward."

"You know you never have to ask me for favors, I am at your disposal." She bowed and laughed.

"As you should be, now you are expected to wear the best dress you have, and will be required to perform." She said in a commanding tone, but broke up laughing.

Lexie joined in, "Oh Anne! You are your mother's daughter, I love when do that, I only wish I you would let me see you do it around someone else. I would love to see how they act."

"I would not be able to keep a straight face if you were there." Anne said in a superior tone.

"One of these days, I hope." Her smile fell. "Anne I will gladly stay over the weekend, but I do not wish to attend the party. I do not know if I can face him."

"Lexie, you know I would not ask you to do anything you did not wish to. But I think it would help you to be there, and I am sure Dr. Stone will agree with me."

She stayed quiet thinking. "I am not making any promises."

"Fair enough," she smiled and squeezed her hand.

Hurst came back and Anne gave Lexie a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. He walked Anne out to her car. They did not talk, and when they reached the car, feeling brave he gave her a big hug. Anne returned it and hugged him tightly, she pulled away and was going to say something but Hurst kissed her. He could not help it when she pulled away he looked down at her and into her eyes, he pulled away when she did not return the kiss, and was going to apologize but she grabbed his face and kissed him. He was over the moon happy he hugged her and picked her up, spinning. They both laughed, and hugged a little while longer.

"I was going to ask you to come to William's party this Saturday, but now I expect you to be there." She told him.

"Gladly," he said and kissed her again, "Does this mean that we are now dating?" He asked in a teasing tone.

"I do not know, you have yet to ask me." She said with a huge smile.

He grabbed her face and looked into her eyes, "Anne De Bough, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?" She kissed him, "Is that a yes?" She kissed him again, "I am still unsure what your answer is."

She kissed him again, "Yes, but would it be all right if we did not tell anyone, but Lexie and Mary of course? My mother-"

"Yes, as long as you are mine I will be happy." He kissed her.

"I better go, I will see you tomorrow." She kissed him and got in the car. She waved through the window.

He walked back to the room with a huge smile on his face, and before he entered the room he tried to control his happiness. Lexie would be able to tell something happened and he knew Anne wanted to be the one to tell her. It did not work when he walked in he could not help but smile. She knew,

"Did you finally ask her?" She said with a big smile of her own.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Yes!" She let out a squeal "I am sooo happy for the both of you, come here!" She held out her arms. He went to hug her, she hugged him tightly. "Can you please hand me my phone, I need to text Anne!"

"No! She is driving wait a while, I am sure she will text you when she gets home."

Her phone went off and Hurst handed it to her, she smirked, it was Anne. She stuck her tongue out at him, "Ha!"

"Tell her she should not be driving and texting."

"Although I agree, if I were you I would relish in the fact that she was too happy to wait until she got home to share the news."

His smile grew, "You are right as always."

"Of course," she said laughing. She gave him another hug and squealed again. He winced being so close to her. "Sorry."

"It is all right, scoot over." He told her and she complied, he sat next to her on the bed and put an arm around her. "You know nothing will change between us right? You will always be my Padawan."

She leaned into his chest, "I know, but of course things will change, it is the course of life. Nothing ever stays the same," she said a bit sadly her thoughts taking her back to earlier. "But you are my brother, and always will be. I am happy for you, and I love you."

He kissed her forehead, "I love you too." Her phone went off, "Tell Anne not to text you while she drives!"

She laughed, "It is Mary, Anne already told her, and she is also happy."

* * *

The next morning the doctor came to check on her and approved her in good health. Her head still hurt, but once she took her pills it subsided a little, she hated she would have to use crutches, but it was what it was. She was excited to see Anne, she wanted to give her a big hug, she was just so happy for her and Hurst. He had told her that they had decided not to let anyone know. She hoped she could conceal her excitement. Lizzie had texted her, she was with Jane, they had stayed the night at the Bingley's because Jane had a fever. It bothered her that she was asking how she was the day after, but she would not let it get to her. She decided to be happy for her two best friends. She just told her she was fine. They got to Anne's and Mary and she were waiting outside for her. Mary gave her a hug first and apologized for not being there, Lexie told her that she should know better than to apologize. She knew Lexie understood, but still felt horrible. Anne and Hurst had hugged but briefly afraid that the walls had eyes, and smiled at each other. She gave Anne an extra big hug and told her she was very happy for her. She took a hot bath, since she could not stand, it felt nice. She knew her friends were not necessarily waiting for her, but she could not help but take her time. She never got to take a bath. Living in a house with four other girls did not allow her to. She submerged her head under the water, until she could not breathe anymore. She got ready and made her way downstairs with the help of one of the maids. She did not like to make them work, but she needed help. It was ok to ask for help when it was needed. They had eaten lunch and she ate hers while her friends chatted away. Mary had been forced to go to a party with Kittie and Lydia last night and was telling them of everything that had happened. A boy who went to Silver had been there and they started talking. The rest of the day was uneventful. Hurst and Mary had left. Anne had wanted to paint and she wanted to play her violin. She hated she had to sit down she liked to move freely while she played, but as long as she played she was happy.

Dinner was almost unbearable Mrs. De Bough had asked what had happened to her Lexie told her what happened and that Will had helped her. She then went on to talk about Will. She could not stop talking about him, and she had no idea why he was being talked about. Mrs. De Bough would talk about how handsome, smart, and wealthy he was. Luckily she and Anne were having their own conversation about Hurst, and as usual her mother did not notice, or did not care Lexie was not sure. When she went to bed, Anne had come in to make sure she was all right, and she told Lexie what had happened at the hospital. She fell asleep happy for Anne, happy for Hurst, happy that she was not at her house.

****Saw these quotes on the internet, but they did not give credit to anyone.**

***I originally got the idea for this to be Lexie's quote because of the movie The Help. I love how she tells the little girl that she is kind, smart and important. Also apparently the quote I use is a Facebook group.**

**A/N: When I say Anne and Lexie talk about Hurst during dinner, they are using their secret way. I think I had said it was like sign language, but I believe it would work better if it was like Morris Code, but there own version.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Sorry for the long update, life happens. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it is the rest of Lizzie and Darcy's Sunday, but that is not all this chapter contains. Last chapter I mentioned Hurst's friend Jonathan, I decided to add him to the story. Again I hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 16

The next morning Lizzie woke up and found herself in a strange room, and then she remembered what had happened the previous day. She got ready and stopped in to check on Jane and went downstairs to make her soup. As she entered the kitchen, Darcy was there, and he just gave her a nod and "Morning" and returned to his laptop. She rolled her eyes, but continued on her task. They were in there for several minutes, she had struggled to look for where everything was and not once did he say anything to her. She didn't care how hot the bowl was she could withstand the pain, anything to spare her. Although Darcy had noticed her he was too busy researching and thinking about his conversation with Alexa. The first thing he had looked up was the song. He had listened to the first choice on YouTube, it was a cover. He understood what Alexa had talked about, and it made him depressed to think of the cold reality of her words and the song. Maybe she was always this way and that is why her family did not talk much about her. No one wants to be around someone who is always moping and talking about how pointless life was. She did not even know him and spoke freely with him. He looked up the medication she took and the fact that she had a mental disorder disturbed him. In a way this was good news, it gave him more reason to avoid the family all together. He knew he was almost in danger of liking Elizabeth, and now he could add to list of reasons to form an attachment to her.

Around noon the doorbell rang, to everyone's horror it was Mrs. Bennet. She had come in mentioning how nice, expensive and lovely everything looked. She bragged about Jane's beauty and how Jane should stay until the evening, since her fever had not yet broken, much against Lizzie's persistence that Jane was fine enough to be moved. She decided to return before six to pick up Jane and Lizzie. The rest of the day Darcy spent finishing his homework, with time to think of how horrible Mrs. Bennet was, and below him, she was obviously only interested in money, and wanted to make sure that Jane stayed here longer. He decided to keep a closer eye on Charlie and Jane. He knew she was nice but thought that maybe she was trying to please her mother. Lizzie spent most of her time with Jane and Charlie doing their homework with Jane. She was just happy that she was nowhere near Darcy. She could only imagine what he thought of her mother. How she wished her mother could just hold her tongue. All she would talk about was how expensive everything looked, and how lovely. She was just happy that Charlie seemed not to notice, but she could see the disdain in Darcy's face. She texted Lexie to see how she was doing after Jane kept asking. She tried to tell Jane that it was pointless, Lexie would not care if they texted her or not. Time went by and Jane was feeling sleepy so she and Charlie made their way into the living room. Darcy was there but had his face glued to the computer screen. He had seen them walk in but did not bother to talk to them so she decided to read. For about 20 min they just sat there in silence and she could see that he kept glancing at her. But she would not let it bother her; she knew he was only trying to find fault in her. Caroline came in and was the first to break the silence.

"Eliza, reading again I see, you must be a great reader and take no pleasure in anything else. You must be really boring." She said in what appeared to be a teasing tone.

"Actually I'm not a great reader, and I take pleasure in plenty of things. So I don't deserve the praise or censure." Lizzie replied with a fake smile, she hated how Caroline called her Eliza.

"I am sure you enjoy taking care of your sister," said Charlie, "Have you heard how Lexie is doing?"

"I texted her this morning and she said she was fine."

"That's good to hear, did she require stiches after all?"

"No, she didn't. She just had to stay the night." She didn't want to talk about Lexie on the off chance that someone would ask more about her, or the pills. She closed her book and went to the bookshelf to look for another.

"Sorry we don't have a lot of books to choose from, my dad decided not to unpack them all since no one ever reads them. Not that we had a lot anyways." Charlie said.

"I know it's nothing compared to the library at Pemberley, right Will?" Caroline asked.

"My family has been adding to the library for many years, I am very positive we have several copies of the same book." He said indifferently, and continued to be intrigued by his computer.

"I can't wait to visit again, it is so beautiful, like something out of a fairytale." Caroline said "I'm sure Georgie feels like a princess, I know I do every time we visit."

"She only goes home during breaks from school."

The room went quiet again and Caroline asked Lizzie to walk around the room with her. Lizzie reluctantly agreed and Darcy had stopped looking at his laptop and up at them. Caroline smirked, "The view is so different when you walk around a room. You should join us Will, take a break from the computer and stretch your legs."

"I find the view quiet lovely from here, thank you. Besides you do not really want me to join you."

"Why would say that? What do you think he means Eliza?"

"I don't know, but you can be sure it wasn't good. The best way to disappoint him though is not to ask." Lizzie said but Caroline asked anyway.

"You are either speaking about things which girls speak of maybe sharing secrets. Or you are trying to show off your figures. If the first I would only be in the way, if the second then I can do that from where I am sitting." Darcy said.

"How shocking you would think such a thing. You must be punished, how should we punish him Eliza?"

"The best way would be to tease him, laugh at him. You've known him for a long time, so you must know something we can use against him. What are his faults?" Lizzie asked hoping to find out something she could use against him.

"No! You can't tease him or laugh at him. It is unheard of."

"Can't stand to be laughed at Darcy? Too proud or maybe even vain? And would you consider your pride or vanity a fault or a virtue?" Lizzie asked.

"Vanity is a fault, yes. But not one of mine. Pride however is a virtue when there is something to be proud of. I do not find it wrong with being proud of something."

"Ok I get it Darcy, you're perfect and have no faults, you're above all of us."

"No, I never said anything like that. I have plenty of faults. You could say I am resentful. I have a temper and do not easily forgive, not that I try to."

"Those are great flaws indeed, and I am afraid I can't make fun of you for them. How sad for I love to laugh." Lizzie said in a teasing tone.

"I would say it was a family trait but I doubt Alexa is capable of even smiling." Caroline sneered.

Lizzie just gave a small smile. She could feel her anger rising, she began to look for a new book. She had to keep herself from saying anything. She went to check on Jane a while later, still trying to control her temper. She hated that Alexa was depressed, now that Caroline and Darcy knew. All the years of them trying to hide it wasted in one day. Surely everyone would know by tomorrow, how were they going to handle it? She hid her fear from Jane, she didn't want Jane to worry and make her more ill. Before they knew it, it was six and as promised her father came and picked them up, and brought a trailer along for the horses. After they left Caroline and Louisiana could not help but make fun of Elizabeth, her mother, and Alexa. Will had agreed to some extent but did not fully agree with them. He refused to stoop so low as to criticize them but he did agree that the Bennet's were not a good family to be connected to. The rest of the week Darcy and Elizabeth continued to argue during lunch, and he kept fighting his feeling for her. Much to Lizzie's surprise she didn't hear anything bad about Alexa. Darcy decided not to ask how Alexa was doing. Lizzie spent her week helping Lexie when she needed it. Which seemed to be often and she thought Lexie was just taking advantage of herself and Jane. She found it annoying that Lexie would need help with the simplest things, but she loved her sister and wanted to help her.

* * *

Hurst picked up Anne and Lexie for school Monday morning, and the 'reason' was to make it easier for Lexie with her crutches because Hurst had an SUV. Unlike other times when the trio had gone places though Anne sat in the front seat after arguing with Lexie. Lexie won the argument by stating that if she sat in the back she could elevate her leg. When they got to school, Hurst kissed Anne and then helped Lexie, despite her refusal. Lexie entered school with a smile on her face happy for her friends and it did not fade until after band. The bell had rung and Mary was going to have to stay through lunch to practice a song with the teacher. She made her way to her locker and the back of her head began to hurt, she tried to ignore the pain, but when she was switching books her bag fell open. She was shocked to see that someone came to help her, but was even more shocked that it was Jonathan Drake; her bully for the past eight years. He picked up her things and put them in her bag, he asked if she needed help getting to her next class. She told him no thank you she was on her way to lunch. He told her that he was as well and offered to carry her bag. She was too shocked to say anything and just nodded. They did not say anything to each other and the silence was uncomfortable for him.

"_Sooo, _what happened to your foot?" He asked as the question came into his head.

"I was out riding my horse on Saturday, he got startled and managed to throw me off. I believe my foot got stuck in the saddle."

"You believe?" He asked confused.

"I hit my head and lost consciousness."

"And you came to school today?" He asked a little shocked.

"Yes?" She said puzzled.

"At least you did not crack open your head." He attempted at a joke.

"I have a linear fracture. It should heal on its own." She stated.

They reached the lunch room, and she asked for her bag, he offered to carry it until she sat down. She started to make her way outside.

"Do you not eat during lunch?"

"We spend the first part of lunch outside, while everyone is eating. Then when everyone starts to come outside, we eat."

"I see I always thought you had lunch next period, it was strange to see that in eight years we have had several classes together but never lunch."

She didn't say anything and sat down at their usual table. She was about to thank him for his help but he sat down with her. "Anne and Hurst should soon be here, I do not mind waiting alone. Thank you for your help." She said looking into his eyes.

"If I did not know any better, I would think you were trying to get rid of me." He chuckled.

She contemplated her answer. "I am trying to spare you from having to sit with me."

"You make it sound as if it is horrible to be in your company." He said smiling.

She bit her lip and confused stated, "But you do not like me." His smile fell but she did not notice.

He did not get to respond; a laughing Anne and Hurst had come walking up to them.

"John! What brings you out here?" Hurst asked surprised. Meanwhile Anne was asking Lexie why Johnathan was with her.

"Hurst, I was just keeping Alexa here company, now that you are here though I will be on my way."

"We will soon be eating if you would like to join us." He saw Anne shoot him a look.

"No thank you. I will see you in class." He said goodbye to all of them.

Upon Anne's request Lexie explained what happened. She in turn asked Anne what had taken them so long to get there. When Anne and Hurst blushed, a deep shade of red, her smile returned for the rest of the day. She did not stay after school for practice due to her headache which was mild and returned to the De Bough's with Anne and Hurst. It was getting late she thanked Mrs. De Bough for the hospitality and Anne, and Hurst took her home. Jane and Elizabeth were the only ones who showed true concern and helped her when needed.

The rest of the week continued in the same fashion, she was still very happy for Anne and Hurst, and would smile more. Mary would stay in class for lunch, and Johnathan would help her change out her books and with her bag. He would walk and sit with her until Hurst and Anne came, and asked how her foot and head were, and tried to make small talk. Lexie wondered what had gotten into him. He had stopped being cold to her and was now trying to be nice. Lexie assumed that he was up to something and kept her guard up. Her thoughts were too preoccupied with Anne, Hurst and Johnathan she had not had time to think about Will or the party. Jane and Lizzie offered to help her around the house, and she had let them help her even with the smallest of things. She was happy that at least two of her family members cared, but what made her the happiest was that she was spending with her older sisters. Luckily for her Rose had been in a good mood and ignored her and no one asked about the accident. Friday came and she informed her father she would not be home all weekend and would return on Monday after school. Her ankle was doing a lot better and she managed to do things without the crutches. Her head would hurt every now and then but nothing too bad.

Saturday morning came, and the De Bough household was busy preparing for the dinner party, Will's sister and her caretaker who would be staying. Anne had to stay to help her mother and Lexie made her way to Dr. Stone's house on the bus. She still had to use the crutches, but was putting more support on her ankle. She loved going to Dr. Stone's house. She had been there several times before, Lexie always felt more relaxed. She rang the doorbell and was greeted with a big hug and kiss. Dr. Stone fussed over her ankle, and started to ask what had happened, and how she was doing. She talked about Anne and Hurst, how her father reacted at the hospital, the fall itself. Although it took some time, she talked about Will helping her, telling Will about the pills, and why she thought she needed them, including Dr. Stone's opinion. She saved the part about how Will had made her feel, her feelings, how she thought and how she wanted to stop taking the pills for last. Dr. Stone was shocked, first that it was the most Lexie had ever opened up on one sitting, and that she wanted to stop her medication. Something was different. She let Lexie know it would not be as easy to just stop taking her medication. She would have to start taking smaller doses because they were addictive, if she were to just stop taking them she would suffer from with drawl. Lexie was upset, but understood, and agreed to take smaller doses. The doorbell rang and Dr. Stone confused went to answer it. Lexie could hear shrieking and made her way to the hallway. Dr. Stone was hugging and dancing with a woman who seemed to be her age. Behind them she could see a girl who looked older than her. She was taller, and beautiful with curly blonde hair. She reminded her of Jane in more ways than one; the way she was standing by the door told Lexie that she must be shy. Why would she be scared if the two women knew each other? The women broke apart.

"Victoria! What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise you! I came down for a party; by the way this is Georgiana. Georgie this is my sister Dr. Samantha Stone." She said pulling the girl forward.

"It is nice to meet you Mrs. Stone." She quietly said while looking down.

"It is nice to meet you too, I have heard a lot about you and your family." The girl gave her a small smile but said nothing. "I wish you had told me you were coming Vicky, I am busy right now and do not know how long I will be." Dr. Stone told her sister sadly.

Lexie instantly felt bad, "You do not have to worry about me Dr. Stone I will leave, thank you for seeing me today, I hope we can continue or conversation later on in the week."

Everyone looked at her shocked, making her uncomfortable. "That is not necessary Lexie, come I'd like you to meet my sister." She made her way to stand next to Dr. Stone looking down. She felt hands on her shoulders and looked at Dr. Stone, "Lexie this is my older sister Victoria Reynolds, Vicky, this is the girl I've told you so much about Alexandra Bennet." She proudly said. Lexie smiled she knew Dr. Stone would never say anything bad about her, and felt honored and loved that Dr. Stone would mention her to her family.

"It is nice to meet you Alexandra! My sister speaks highly of you." Mrs. Reynolds said.

"The pleasure is all mine and please call me Alexa, Alexandra is quiet long." She smiled reached to shake hands but the woman pulled her in for a hug. It was a genuine hug, and Lexie returned it. The woman inhaled and exhaled, at her action.

"Alright Alexa, this little miss here is Georgiana," she nudged the girl forward.

"Hello it is nice to meet you." She smiled.

Georgiana grabbed her hand and smiled, "It is nice to meet you too," she said quietly.

"My sister tells me you are quite a violinist, Alexa. How long have you been playing?"

"I have been playing since I was nine."

"Is that the only instrument you play?" Georgiana asked looking down.

Lexie smiled and felt a pull towards her. The same she felt with Anne and Mary, "I also play the piano, but the violin is my heart and soul. Do you play any instruments?"

"Yes I play the piano and guitar, and I am learning how to play bass guitar," she smiled small.

"I was thinking of going to the music store, I need time to think and music always seems to do the trick. If it is all right with Mrs. Reynolds and Dr. Stone, would you like to accompany me? I would enjoy the company, and we can allow them to talk." Lexie smiled.

"Yes I would like that! Oh can I Mrs. Reynolds?" She asked excited. Dr. Stone nodded her approval.

"All right, just be back within two hours, your brother wanted to meet up before the party."

"I promise we shall be back before then. If anything Dr. Stone has my number, we will be taking the bus, if that is all right, and it always runs on schedule." Lexie reassured them. She went to get her crutches, Mrs. Reynolds stated her concern and she explained it was only a sprained ankle, and was almost healed. They made their way to the bus stop.

"What style of music do you play Georgiana?"

"I play classical and traditional sacred piano, and I enjoy playing more modern music on the guitar. And you?"

"I too play in the classical style for both the piano and violin. But I am afraid I devote to much time to the violin to be proficient on the piano. Not to say I am a bad pianist, but I love to play the violin it makes me feel free. My teacher always says, *"The function of music is to liberate in the soul those feelings which normally we keep locked up in the heart."

They got on the bus. Lexie felt pain from the back of her head. Georgiana noticed and Lexie told her it was just a headache, and would soon pass.

"Did you travel a long way to Meryton?" She asked as her headache faded.

"Yes, we just came in this morning and made our way over to Dr.," she paused "-Mrs. Stone's house." Georgiana corrected worried.

"Dr. Sto-"Lexie started saying.

"I meant no offense-" Georgiana cried out worried.

Lexie put her hand over Georgiana's, "Georgiana none was given and none was taken, Dr. Stone worked hard for her title. I am not ashamed that I see a psychiatrist; I just do not like the stigma that comes with it. Many people think one must be crazy. I however see her more as a therapist. There are many types of therapy though, physical, marriage, couples. Even music is a sort of therapy. There is nothing wrong with seeking help out when it is needed. I will not go too far as to say I am not crazy though, for only crazy people say that." She said with a small smile and chuckle.

She didn't respond and Lexie kept holding her hand. "Does, does it help?" She quietly asked looking down.

Lexie thought about the question, "It helps me, but I cannot speak for other people's experience. It took me a while to open up, and sometimes I do not. But she has never made me talk about anything I did not want to. Not to say that she does not have her tricks; though I am aware of them, I do not mind them."

"It sounds as if you have been seeing her for a long time, do you not believe that if seeing her was working you would have gotten better by-," regret came upon her face. "I am so-"

Lexie held her hand up, "Again I took no offense. I have been seeing her for the past seven or eight years. I like to see her. I….. I am required to see her, and even if I were not I would still wish to see her. To me she is more than just my doctor, she is my friend. She does not judge me, nor do my friends and that means a great deal to me. Do not apologize for speaking your mind." She smiled and squeezed her hand to reassure her.

"All right, Alexandra I will not judge you either." She grabbed her other hand and returned her smile.

"Alexa please, Alexandra is too close to Alexander." She said laughing.

"I wish my name could be made feminine. I was named for my father, and my nick names are Georgie, which does not help and my cousin calls me Gigi, which sounds like a dog's name." She said with a pout.

"How about Georgia, like the song not state," she said giggling, and laughed at Georgiana's scowl. It looked familiar she thought. "Ok, oh how about Regina? Gina?"

"It is feminine. Did the idea also come from a song?"

"Not directly, have you heard of Regina Spektor?"

"No I do not believe so."

"Ok, we are going to have to stop by the CD's." She laughed. They got to the street and walked the rest of the way. Lexie did not mind the short distance but Georgiana kept stopping to rest because of Lexie's foot, but Lexie assured her she was fine. They entered and Lexie greeted everyone. They made their way to the CD section and Lexie found what she was looking for. They made their way to a listening station and picked the song she wanted. It was "Flowers." Georgiana fell in love, and liked the name Gina. She even bought the CD. The manager had asked what happened to her leg and if it affected her playing. She replied it did not and he told her that they just got in a used electric/acoustic violin if she would like to play. Lexie said maybe when she had more time, at Gina's assistance though agreed to play. They connected the violin to an amp. She began by playing her scales. Georgiana pull out her phone but she thought nothing of it. She did not know why but began to play "Creep" by Radiohead. She played the vocal part, but heard the rest of the song in her head. Soon everything and everyone, were forgotten, it was just her and music. When she finished her surroundings came back, she had a small audience and they clapped for her. She could see that Gina had tears in her eyes, but only told her that it was her turn to play. Worry and panic came over Gina's face, and Lexie reassured her that she did not have to play. She had only been teasing and stated that they should head back. "If you are early you are on time and if you arrive on time you are late."

Lexie thanked the manager, and asked how much he was going to ask for the violin. Lexie said that she would have to make some calculations, but would be interested. They got to the bus stop and got onto the bus.

"I hope you are not disappointed in me for not playing." Gina said in a small voice.

"Of course not, it is your choice. No one should ever have to be forced to play."

"Yes…I know that my aunt is going want to hear me play, well demand it actually, I am not looking forward to it."

"The trick is to just get lost in the music, forget everyone else in the room, and play from your heart."

"I wish I could play as well as you do. I hope you do not mind that I recorded you playing." She said hiding her face.

"I do not mind," she smiled. "How long have you been playing?"

"For as long as I can remember, everyone tells me I am a great player. I always thought I was but after seeing you perform I am not so sure. I play very proficiently as you do, but I lack the emotion."

"Do not sell yourself short, there is nothing wrong with knowing you are a great player, as long as you are aware that there will always be someone who will be bet- I do not mean it in a harsh way, and I am not saying I am better. It is just that I know I am great, I have won many awards, and many people will tell you that I am great. But I am aware that I am not the best, it is not my goal to be the best. I just love to play. People always turn everything into a competition, and want to over exceed, but whatever happened to just listening and appreciating music." She stopped. "I am sorry I do not mean to ramble, I can assure you it is the topic at hand."

Georgiana giggled, "Do not worry Alexa, it is quiet all right. I understand, you are proud of your playing, but keep yourself grounded by acknowledging that there is someone who will be better, no one can be the best."

"Yes, and I am sure that others would disagree with you on my performance. I know that many players frown upon swaying as much as I do, they prefer proficiency and not to show too much emotion. When I am forced to play I do not do it as much, but like I said just get lost in the music." She smiled widely.

"I will try to take your advice, and do just that."

They reached their destination and walked to the house. Alexa paused at the driveway, there was another car, she wanted to run away, just turn around and keep walking. _STUPID ANKLE_. Maybe Hurst would not mind picking her up, thoughts were racing through her head and she was starting to panic. Gina asked if she was all right, Lexie tried to breathe. She inhaled and exhaled, dropped her crutches and put her hands above her head, just breathing. She would not take her pill, she could do this, she thought. Gina just rubbed circles on her back which helped and soon she was fine, but Gina looked terrified.

"I am sorry Gina," she inhaled, "I tend to get anxiety attacks."

"Let me go get Dr. Stone-"

"No!" She yelled, "No thank you I am fine, it is nothing out of the ordinary, please do not mention this to anyone." She pleaded.

"Ok, but only if you promise you are fine."

"Well my ankle is still a tad sore, but I am fine." She smiled weakly.

They made their way to the house and Lexie could feel her nerves, trying to work against her. They entered the living room and she froze at the entrance. Gina on the other hand let out a big squeal and ran into the arms of the new addition to the room. He smiled hugely and gave her a big bear hug. He looked towards her and his smile faded, but then continued to talk to Gina. Dr. Stone patted the seat next to her, and Lexie walked towards the couch. She knew he would not want to see her again, she knew had Gina not been there, his smile would have faded completely. Right now she was glad for her pills, although she felt hurt, she did not show it, she went to her wall, she was empty.

"Lexie, this is Fitzwilliam, Georgiana's brother." Dr. Stone said.

"Alexandra Bennet, it is nice to meet you." She extended her hand, with her head held high.

"Pleasure," he coldly replied. They sat down and he continued to talk to Gina and soon stated that they should be going. He offered to take Gina with him so that Mrs. Reynolds could continue to speak with her sister. Mrs. Reynolds looked at Lexie she could tell Lexie was acting differently but did not understand, and said that she would just head over to the De Boughs to rest. Will said bye and walked out the door, Mrs. Reynolds and Gina gave her a hug. Once Dr. Stone walked them out the door she collapsed back on the couch. She felt a tear drop and wiped it away. Dr. Stone came back to the room, she knew. She came and hugged her tightly. Lexie returned it and felt more tears falling. Eventually she regained her composure, "Anne was wrong, he did not wish to speak to me again let alone see me."

"I am sure he is just shocked and overwhelmed by everything. He did not expect to see you.''

"Anne wanted me to attend _his_ party, now I know to avoid it all together." She said sniffling, she had no idea what was wrong with her she could always contain her emotions.

"You cannot spend all night hiding in your room. You _need_ to do this, you need to face him. The sooner you do you will realize that it will only make you stronger. Just like every obstacle you have overcome."

"What if it makes me weaker, and I do not wish to leave the pills after all?"

"We will cross that bridge _if_ we get to it. You never know how things will turn out, nothing is written in stone. Boys are very confusing, and we as women do not always understand them and vise versa."

"That reminds me," she said wanting to change the topic, "Jonathan Drake has been acting strangely this past week."

"Are you sure you are not just being paranoid?" She asked running her hand through Lexie's hair.

"I am paranoid. Nothing good comes from that man. It is his behavior that is making me paranoid though, he has been nice to me this whole past week. He helps me and sits with me for a while trying to make small talk."

"So you think he has an alterieor motive?"

"Yes, I wish he would get it over with, so things can be normal. I allow him to help me but I do not speak much to him, soon he will tire of his game when he sees he cannot get anything."

"I think that is a good plan. But you never know he might have changed."

"You are right of course; I will keep you informed, hopefully this weekend he would have returned to his old self and just leave me alone." Her head hurt again. "Would it be all right if I lay down? My head hurts a lot."

"Yes of course, make yourself at home as always." She gave her a kiss on the forehead, and helped her up the stairs.

She lay down and hugged one of the pillows. She felt tears falling from her eyes again and wiped them away. She hated to cry, she needed to contain her emotions, she knew if she did not that she would break down. She thought about the party and decided to attend. She would not let him get to her. She would rise above like she always did. She never allowed her family, Jonathan, or anyone else get to her, she was not about to start now.

* * *

It was Will's birthday and he was excited to see his sister and Mrs. Reynolds. He knew they were going to arrive early and told them he wanted to spend time with them before the party started and would have to deal with his aunt. He got ready and texted Mrs. Reynolds to see when they arrived so they could meet up somewhere. She told him that she was planning to stop by her sisters first and then they could get together. She told him she would love for him to meet her sister, but he said that he was busy. He tried to occupy his time with other things but found he could not wait. He wanted to see his sister and his caretaker for the past several years. He wanted to be happy about today when all he had been feeling was sadness, he knew to be the fault of Alexa. He asked Mrs. Reynolds for the address and was soon on his way. He pulled up to the driveway and was introduced to Dr. Samantha Stone. He asked where Georgie was and was told that she was with no other than Alexa Bennet. He could not believe how small the world seemed to be. First Anne was best friends with her, now here he was, in her doctor's house. He wondered what kind of doctor she was. He worried for his sister, the last thing she needed was someone to bring her down. She needed someone who was headstrong to be her friend, not someone who would make her sad and think horrible thoughts. Not after what she had been through, she needed to get past the past. He only waited a while until they returned. He had been too preoccupied with Georgie he did not bother to give too much attention to Alexa. He wanted to get out of their as soon as possible. He did not want Georgie to form and attachment to her it was the last thing she needed. He made aloud his wishes were to leave and soon after they left.

***Quote by Sabastian Faulks**

**My favorite version of Creep on the violin is by the Dueling Fiddlers, and it is how I imagine Lexie playing. **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I recently got Microsoft Word, and will be reediting the first couple of chapters. I will also rewrite them, but it will not be anything big, they will remain pretty much the same. Hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm trying to compress more things into each chapter. **

Ch. 17

When Lexie awoke her headache was gone, she felt as if she was in a better state of mind. Dr. Stone invited her for lunch, and they talked about Dr. Stone's childhood, it made Lexie happy to know that it was filled with many happy memories and stories. Dr. Stone took Lexie back to the De Bough's and made and her promise to call whenever she needed it. Anne was still busy when she got back and she felt exhausted, she took another nap. When she woke up she tried to finish her homework, but thinking about the party was making her nervous, and time seemed to be speeding up. Her mind started to race, she decided to play out her nerves. She made her way to the living room, she was happy that her violin was already there, as she struggled with the stairs. Her ankle felt sore and decided to play the piano instead. She hardly got to play at the house. Rose would complain of the "Noise," it was not as if she were a horrible player or a child hitting random notes. She would have played at school, but lately she had been devoting all of her time to the violin. As she got closer to the room she could hear the piano. At first she thought it might have been Mary, but remembered Hurst and she would be arriving together. She peaked in the room and saw Gina playing, she looked sad, and the song she was playing reflected as much. She opened the door and knocked. Gina was startled and looked up. She could see tears in her eyes. She pointed to her violin and Gina gave a small smile and nodded. Lexie asked if she knew Chopin, Nocturne in C Minor and Gina nodded. They began to play but she had to pause in between, this song always made her feel better and hoped it would do the same for Gina. Gina was an excellent player and she just listened and enjoyed before she began to play again. At the end she went and sat next to Gina, but did not say anything. She just hugged her, and they sat there for a while.

Lexie broke the silence. "You are special, you are important, and you are loved. Thank you for playing with me; you are a very great pianist." She said with deep sincerity.

Gina started to cry, and Lexie just tightened her hug, and rubbed circles on her back. "I do not deserve your friendship," Gina said quietly. Lexie just shushed her, and started playing with her blonde curls.

"Has Anne had time to show you her paintings?" She asked and Gina shook her head no. "Follow me, I am sure she would not mind that I was the one to show you."

Lexie lead her to one of Anne's rooms, she opened the door allowing Gina to enter first. She gasped it was the usual reaction one had upon entering. There were paintings and drawings covering the walls, it was its own art museum it would take several hours to look at each artwork.

"Anne did _all_ of these?"

"Yes. This is nothing I can assure you, I believe I have about as many. Though several are in books, and albums, some are hung up in my room, Mary has about a quarter of the room and I believe Hurst has almost as much as I."

"Mary and Hurst?" She asked sniffling.

"You shall meet them later." Gina looked worried. "They are great friends to have, Mary is my cousin and our best friend. She is 16, and also plays the piano. Hurst is Stanley Hurst, he is also our best friend, and like a brother." Lexie said with a smile, and then frowned when Gina let out a sob. She just hugged her.

Gina composed herself, "I am sorry, it is just-," she exhaled, "My brother wishes for me to do something he believes is for my own good. But I do not wish to comply."

"I see…I wish I could give you advice, but I am afraid that I am not close to any of my siblings to comment. Also my siblings are girls so I would still be of no help at all."… "My friends have never asked me to anything I did not wish to. We speak our honest opinions, and the decision is ours to make alone. We never judge each other even if things turn out bad, we support each other. I suppose if you ask my opinion it is that. Do what you feel is best, but be weary of your brother's advice. Do not act quickly, take your time to think about the matter at hand."

"What if I know his advice to be wrong?"

*"A wise man never knows all, only fools know everything." Lexie said indifferently. "Not that I am calling you a fool- that is to say that-," she paused. "It is a quote…I cannot remember who said it at the moment. They randomly pop into my head. Well I have them written down and I have them memorized- I usually do know who to give credit to- blast I cannot remember but it will probably come to me at a random time." She gave a small laugh, "Anyways as I said you should do what you like, I believe your brother will support your decision. I do not know him at all to know what his reaction may be, but I am sure he loves you and is only concerned for you to ask something of you that you did not want to do."

"He made it seem as if he knew you." Lexie snapped her head at Gina with her eyes narrowed.

"I can assure you your brother believes he knows me, but as I said only fools know everything." She said with anger in her voice thinking about earlier. She instantly regretted her words. Gina looked angry and was about to leave but Lexie grabbed her arm. "I am sorry, it i- I- I recently told your brother something I have only told four other people, and he discovered something about me that-" _SHE ALREADY KNOWS ABOUT DR. STONE _she thought. "The reason I _need _to see Dr. Stone is because I take antidepressants, along with other medications, for anxiety. I can only imagine what he has said about me and I believe it is nothing I have not yet heard. If you can recall, I had stated that people automatically assume I am crazy or always depressed, but…." she said quickly then shut up, "I-I I have to go, you may stay here if you like Anne will not mind." Lexie said rushed and left Gina alone in the room. She walked into Anne's studio, locked the door and collapsed against it. She tried to breath and had to lie on the floor her vision blurred and she tried not to blink. Tears would fall if she blinked, she inhaled and exhaled, laying there just breathing, in and out, deeper and deeper breaths. ***_DON'T LET THEM IN, DON'T LET THEM SEE. CONCEAL DON'T FEEL, DON'T LET THEM KNOW…..I DON'T NEED NO ARMS AROUND ME, AND I DON'T NEED NO DRUGS TO CALM ME, I HAVE SEEN THE WRITING ON THE WALL_, _DON'T THINK I NEED ANYTHING AT ALL. ALL AND ALL YOU WERE ALL JUST BRICKS IN THE WALL._ _I SHEAD NO TEARS FOR BROKEN ME. _She closed her eyes, she buried her feelings, cleared her mind. What was happening to her? She could always handle her emotion. She opened her eyes, sat up and looked around the room. She made her way to her favorite picture. It was Hurst, Anne, Mary and herself. Each of them had a copy, of the same photo. They were at a party, she was in the middle, Anne to her right and Mary at her left, and Hurst was behind her. They were hugging each other and looked as if they were about to laugh. Everything was forgotten and she smiled. She made her way to her room and took a long bath.

Anne had been waiting for her to finish bathing. She was sitting on the bed drawing when Lexie entered the room. She looked up at her and smiled, Lexie returned it but it did not reach her eyes.

"Have you decided to be a recluse tonight?"

"No, I will be attending, just have to rip the scab off." She chuckled.

"There has been a change to the guest list." Anne said hesitantly. Lexie did not say anything she started to brush her hair. Anne walked up behind her, took the brush from her hand and started to brush it for her. Lexie stopped her and pulled Anne in for a tight hug.

"I am sure that _we _can handle anything. Anyone I know?"

"The Bingley's Charles, Caroline and Louisiana," Anne said with a bit of anger.

"Seeing as how you invited your friends I see nothing wrong with him inviting his. I am sure Hurst will not dare to speak to Louisiana, not that your mother would ever allow such a thing." Lexie said with a small smile.

"You are of course right, but I do not wish to speak to Caroline again. She was just as bad as that Collins boy…who will also be attending."

"At least your mother will have someone to actually pay attention to her every word."

Anne laughed, and then turned serious. "As you know Jonathan Drake and Hurst are best friends and well…" Anne said hesitantly with a small smile.

"He of course wanted someone to keep him company I am sure." Lexie could not believe her luck. She thought that she would not have to deal with Jonathan again, at least not so soon. Silence filled the room.

"I see you have met Georgiana, I found her in the painting room. She is very nice, I think we should all get along well."

"Yes, I had actually met her before." She exhaled. "Mrs. Reynolds is apparently Dr. Stone's sister. We went out to let them talk, when we returned Will was there…. He was not happy to see me. I do not know what he has told her but I can assume it is not good. I am positive she would not like to be my friend anymore." Lexie said sounding a defeated.

"I am sorry Lexie, but you cannot know that for sure."

"I know, just in case though, there is no use crying over spilt milk, life goes on and such." She said nonchalantly.

"Lexie-"

"Which dress do you believe I should wear? I bought one that Rose bought for me and I never got to show off, and a new one I found for a really great price."

Anne exhaled and looked at the dresses, she could tell which one was Lexie's choice and chose it. She told her that a maid would come and do her hair, and that she was going to go get ready. Lexie kissed her on the cheek.

* * *

Once in the car Georgie berated him for being cold to Alexa. He replied that he did not like the idea of her being with someone who needed to see a psychiatrist. Georgie told him there was nothing wrong with it and he decided to be honest with his sister. He did not want another repeat like Wickham, though he knew Alexa would not hurt her intentionally. He told her that he actually knows Alexa and her family. That Alexa had a mental disorder and has suffered from depression for most of her life. She takes several addicting medications that she has also taken all of her life. Alexa hated life, and did not see the good in it. He told her that he did not want Alexa to tell her things that would make her depressed, as she had made him. Georgie however instead that Alexa was not like that at all, that maybe he misunderstood her. Will had told her that he had not. Alexa had told him everything and explained that her family thought the same of her. He asked what they had done and Georgie got excited and told him that they had gone to the music store, and that she bought a CD, and would now like to be called Gina. She also told him that Alexa had played and she was amazed by her. He told Georgie that she was very talented and as about just as many awards and ribbons as she did. He changed the subject by suggesting they get something to eat. He did not wish to take her to the Bingley's he knew Georgie did not feel comfortable around Caroline. They ate and talked about school and their father. He dropped her off at his aunts and went home. He knew Alexa would be attending the party and told Georgie he did not wish for them to be friends. It was better this way for the both of them not to speak to each other, and made her promise not to be alone with her. He got home and Mr. and Mrs. Bingley were going to go out again. He did not know how Charlie got him to invite his sisters to eat with them, but they were now attending. He informed his aunt and she did not seem to care.

He and the Bingley's entered his aunt's house and were escorted to the living room. There was a boy he thought looked familiar, Mrs. Reynolds, Georgie, Anne and he was surprised to see Alexa already there. She was sitting with a perfect posture, and did not look up at him when he entered. She stood to great them all and was friendly with Charlie, but when he said hello she replied, "Good evening Mr. Darcy" coldly. He was taken back, but no one else seemed to notice. He tried not to look at her as they sat. His aunt was talking and he suggested they eat, hoping to get the party over with quickly. He was surprised to see that they were still waiting for more guests and got a little angry. This was his party after all and now he had to spend it with strangers.

* * *

Lexie was downstairs with Anne and Mrs. De Bough waiting for the party to start. She sat there quietly while Mrs. De Bough talked about who knows what. She usually could let her thoughts wander and still know what was being said, but found it hard to do so. Luckily Anne had been listening and would help her. Gina and Mrs. Reynolds joined them and unfortunately for them they became new victims. The first guest to arrive was the Collins boy, Billy. Lexie only knew what Anne had told her about him. He was as she described, a chunky fellow with thick rimmed glasses, and horrible greasy hair, and seemed to be sweating a lot. He had not been there five minutes and already Lexie did not like him. He had tried to kiss her hand along with Anne's and Gina's and he had been looking at their chests the whole time he was speaking to them. He seemed to be cocky as if it were a pleasure for _them_ to be in his presence. Next to come were Will and the Bingley's. Charles was the only one who was civil to her and she decided that she liked him. He gave off a positive energy and was nice and friendly just as Lizzie had said. Caroline and Louisiana had sneers on their faces when she said hello to them, they did not get to her. She expected Will to be cold again and returned his civility from earlier. He and Anne were the only ones to notice. Will had stated that they should eat, before it got to late but Mrs. De Bough announce that they were still waiting for more guests. He seemed to be bothered by the fact but did not say anything. Hurst, Johnathan and Mary were the last to arrive. She smiled hugely when they walked into the room. She gave a big hug to Mary and Hurst, and shook Johnathan's hand with a small smile. Will got irritated by this, and the fact that she somehow ended up sitting next to Jonathan. They sat and tea was served Mrs. De Bough dominating the conversation and questioning the Bingley's. Johnathan asked how her foot and head were. She replied that they were better, and she was not using the crutches as much. There was silence and he asked what piece she was going to play for their fall concert, when Mrs. De Bough noticed they were speaking.

"It is poor manners to speak while others are speaking. You would think that the two top students in a private school would know better that. Especially you Mr. Drake I would think that your grandparents had taught you from a young age how to behave. Soon you will be required to attend important parties."

Johnathan tensed up, she subconsciously put her hand over his and he relaxed. This caught Will's attention. "You were asking the Bingley's if they played any instruments. Speaking of music I asked _Mr. _Drake which piece he would be performing for the upcoming concert Mrs. De Bough. But I do apologize, it was rude of me, I suppose." Lexie said speaking to her tea cup.

"Actually I believe I am to blame, I asked _Ms. _Bennet how her ankle and head were since I last saw her. Please forgive me, I apologize_._" He said with a smile.

"Her head? What is wrong with your head Ms. Bennet?" Mrs. De Bough demanded and Caroline and Louisiana snorted and tried to contain their laughter. Everyone but Lexie looked at them half in horror the other half with anger.

"I am sure you remember that my skull suffered from a linear fracture from my fall last Saturday. It is where the bone breaks in a straight line and takes about three months to heal on its own. I believe I also mentioned that because of the medication I take I am not allowed to take pain relievers as I have already explained." Lexie said calmly still looking at her cup.

"Yes I was surprised to see that she attended school on Monday let alone at all this past week." Johnathan said Lexie's hand still on his.

"Yes…." Mrs. De Bough said a bit embarrassed. "Well what piece were you thinking of performing Mr. Drake?"

"I am still unsure, I was hoping to do a duet this year if I find a suitable partner that is." He said looking at Lexie in a hinting manor but she was still looking at her cup. She wanted to run out of the room as soon as Caroline and Louisiana had laughed and it was all she could do to keep calm, her face remained indifferent. Everyone knew anyways, why did it bother her?

"I am sure what ever piece you choose will sound lovely, you are an excellent player. Your parents would be proud of you I am sure. What piece will you perform Ms. Bennet? You know how I enjoy hearing you play every time you come over." Mrs. De Bough said in a flattering tone that surprised half of the room.

"I have narrowed it down to two choices but I am afraid I cannot make up my mind."

"We would be a good audience to test them out on would we not? Jane speaks highly of your playing." Charles said nervously.

"Yes play us your choices and we shall help you decide." Mrs. De Bough demanded.

Lexie wished she were at home right now, no one paid her any attention there. She nodded and stood. Mary stood with her she felt as ease instantly. She pulled out sheet music and told Mary the songs then took off her sweater. She did not want to feel constricted. She did not look at up at anyone, afraid to lose her nerves. She did not want to look at Caroline and Louisiana. Had she looked up she would have seen that a majority of the room _was_ staring. Her sweater had been concealing the black and white dress she had on. The top part was strapless, black with a sweetheart neckline that hugged her body. The skirt was white and flared out at her hips and stopped at her knees. It had black beads that were sewn into shapes of flowers all over. Her hair was braided up in a bun, and she had on black eyeliner. Anne lent her a black necklace and a hair clip with pearls on it, she looked pretty.

She announced 'Summer 3rd Movement from Vivaldi's Four Seasons,' was her first choice. She was happy that she had rehearsed with Mary often. She forgot about everyone else in the room, and just played. At the end everyone clapped, she announced her second choice was 'Handel's Harpsichord Suite #4 in D Minor' but that she would be playing a different version. She heard the music in her head. She had heard the song plenty of times and was confidant she could play it with only the piano and herself. By the end she was smiling hugely, they had played it flawlessly. It had been one of the most fun times she played in front of people and gave Mary a big hug. They bowed and she made her way to sit down she looked at Jonathan not wanting to look at anyone else and he had a huge smile on his face, it was contagious. It faded when she looked at Will, he had a scowl on his. He had been smiling she was amazing and she looked beautiful when she smiled. But when he saw that she only looked at Johnathan, and that they both had huge smiles on their faces, his smile fell. As she sat down, she felt light headed and fell onto the couch. Johnathan caught her and held her hand, and offered her tea.

"Mrs. De Bough if you can please excuse me, I am in need of fresh air." Lexie said holding her head.

"Yes, how about we all join you," Anne said a little too eagerly looking towards Hurst.

Caroline, Louisiana, and Collins declined and stayed with Mrs. De Bough and Mrs. Reynolds. The girls left together in a group and the men followed after. Lexie introduced Mary and Gina to each other and they broke from the group first once they entered the garden. The moon lit up the sky. Hurst and Anne broke went off and Will, Charles and Johnathan were speaking. She wondered off on her own and sat down at a bench. Will had seen Alexa walk off alone. He did not know, why but wanted to follow her. He was about to excuse himself when Johnathan beat him to it. Charlie was already on his phone texting with Jane no doubt. He did not know why but decided to spy on them. He wanted to see what the relationship between the two was. He was surprised that Lexie had answered the one question Anne told him not to ask her and that she would not answer.

"Are you feeling well?" Johnathan asked.

"I-I honestly do not know." Lexie said and then thought about the fact that she answered.

"I can take you home if you like, I am sure Mrs. De Bough would not mind, seeing that you are unwell. You did fall off a horse after all." He said truly worried.

"No thank you, I am staying here throughout the weekend. I would not wish to go to my house anyways. Besides the accident was a week ago and you would leave Hurst here alone." She said quietly.

He took off his sweater and placed it over her, then sat down. She felt awkward, but did not show it.

"Yes and I believe you and I both know he would not mind, nor would he be left alone. But you have been suffering from headaches all week."

"I am sure it has more to do with the racing of my thoughts than the actual fall itself." They were quiet.

"I am sorry I put you on the spot, you played beautifully as always….. I enjoy watching you play."

"Thank you, do not worry though, I suspected as much that I would be required to play."

"I believe you should play your second choice. It was an interesting way to play the song."

She smiled widely and turned towards him, "Yes, I know, it is from Baroque in Rock by Ji Hae Park. I loved how she turned classical to rock. She is one of my favorite violinists. I love how she overcame her depression, with the help of music and she plays with such passion. I love that she uses music to try and reach out to people. Once I heard the album I fell in love, but that song stuck out the most to me. You should see her perform it live. Also you should hear the song with the rest of the interments I believe you would enjoy it as well. That is of course if you like classical music….. as well as you play it. That is to say you are a great cellist- but- that does not mean you have to like classical music." She said speaking quickly.

He laughed and placed a hand on hers, "Do you often ramble?"

She fell quiet and dropped her head, "I am sorry I do not mean to."

"Do not be, I like it. It is better than you not saying anything at all." He lifted her chin up, and turned her gaze back towards him, she just complied.

"One should have something interesting to say in order to speak, and I have nothing of interest to say."

"Were you just in the same room with me? I do not know about you, but I do not believe that is true in Mrs. De Bough's case." He smiled at her and she chuckled.

"Fair enough one must _believe_ you have something interesting to say then." They both smiled and broke out laughing, his hand still on hers.

"I believe you have plenty of interesting things going through that pretty mind of yours."

She stared at him did he just call her pretty? No her mind was. "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma."

"Patrick Star?" He asked with a small smile.

"Yes," she laughed.

"_You_ are an enigma Alexa." He turned his body to face her and she stared into his eyes, they showed an emotion she did not know, she did not know what to think or say.

"We should head back inside." Was all that came, she was uncomfortable, she had let her guard down and actually spoken to him. She saw him lean in a little and did not know what to make of it.

Will, who had heard their entire conversation, and saw that Johnathan was about to kiss her interrupted them saying that everyone was to head inside. He was happy to see that Alexa seemed relieved, and happier to see that Johnathan looked angry. What made him upset was that Johnathan extended his arm out for her and she accepted. He walked behind them. Upon entering they were soon lead to the dining room. He tried to sit near his sister but she was already in between Mary and Mrs. Reynolds. The only seat available was next to Caroline. They were about to sit down but Mrs. De Bough rearranged them all. She was at the head of the table to her right were Anne, Hurst, Mary, Georgie, Mrs. Reynolds and to her left were Collins, Louisiana, Caroline, Johnathan, Charlie, Alexa and then himself. He tried to make small talk with Alexa, but she would quickly answer him with a blank expression and then went on to listen to his aunt. It angered him that she would not smile at him the way she had at Johnathan, the way she had smiled at him at the hospital. He was so close yet so far. Why did he care? Had he not told Georgie earlier not to be her friend? That she was a sad girl, filled with depression and would bring her down instead of lift her up. But she had not appeared to do that to anyone, only him. Even Georgie tried to tell him Alexa was a good friend to have. He thought about the way she played. Lizzie had told him she moved like a robot, an emotionless machine. Though she moved quickly and played amazingly she was not emotionless, he came to believe it was when she played that she showed the most emotion. He remembered her smile at the end of her performance. He felt as if he had misjudged her and wished to speak alone with her. They finished eating and the cake was served. They did not sing to him, he was happy about it he thought. They finished eating and made their way back to the living room. This time he was able to sit next to her on the couch, she did not seem to mind but he could not read her face. She was in fact upset, she would rather sit next to Caroline. Mrs. De Bough insisted that Gina play and Lexie suggested a duet with Mary. Will gave her a small grateful smile, but she did not even turn to look at him. He watched her, and noticed that her fingers seemed to be twitching. She was looking towards Anne, but not at her face. She was looking at her lap, and followed her gaze. Anne's fingers were doing the same thing and she was looking at Lexie's hand as well. He just kept looking at them back and forth and then they stopped. He looked up and saw that Anne and Alexa were looking at him. He averted his gaze towards his sister. It was getting late and Mrs. Reynolds was the first to retire, she gave Will a hug and kiss, and made her way upstairs. He was surprised that Anne managed to send his aunt away too by saying that she looked rather tired, and mentioned something about her appearance. Will thanked her for the party and she told him to enjoy his gift. Collin's seeing as how Mrs. De Bough left, decided to leave as well.

Once they had left, Alexa stood up and made her way next to Anne and Hurst. Johnathan had been sitting with Caroline followed her and soon Mary and Georgie. He wanted to join them, but they seemed to be excluding him and the Bingley's. They were in a circle and Alexa was in the center of them. Caroline not liking the fact that she was not the center of attention went up to Georgie and pretended as if they were the best of friends and pulled her away. Alexa whispered something to Anne and she and Hurst excused themselves. He stayed by himself, and was looking at Georgie listen to Caroline. He was startled to see everyone look at him and make their way over to him. He looked at every one and saw that Anne was holding a piece of cake with a candle in it. They sang him happy birthday and told him to make a wish. He had a small smile on his face when he blew out the candle. He looked around and saw that Alexa was leaving the room, someone turned on the radio. No one else noticed she had left. He saw this as his chance and excused himself. He caught her walking into a hallway and into a room. He followed her. He gasped as he entered the room. The walls were covered with paintings and drawings. It looked like her half of the room.

"I am surprised you have not been in here. It is everyone's favorite room." She said with her back to him.

"I am shocked to see so many, it looks like your half of the room." Silence, she sat down on an ottoman, not saying anything. "I went with Elizabeth to pick up some items so she may stay the night and we dropped off your things with Hurst." She said nothing she was just stared at the wall for several minutes. "You play very lovely." She looked as if she was about to speak but just nodded. "Have I done something to upset you?" He asked angry that he was being ignored and of making the effort but getting nowhere.

She had been trying not to speak. She had hoped he would leave if she just stayed quiet. She did not want to say anything to him, she was afraid she would open up again. "I am upset but not with you, I am upset with myself. I should have known you would be like everyone else and assume the worst of me." She said indifferently yet her words cut into him. "I could blame my openness on the accident but I believe that would be a lie. In truth I have no idea why I told you anything at all. I suppose I wanted to explain myself but it seems that I failed." She said still looking at the wall.

Her words stung him but he had no idea why. "No I believe you explained yourself just fine."

"Yes that is why you warned Gina against me?"

"Gina?" He was so use to calling her Georgie it would take him time to adjust.

"Your sister," panic came across his face, but she did not see it. "Do not worry she did not say anything to me. I came upon her and she was upset, I just gathered all of the context clues." She said to see if she had been right.

"I am sor-"

"No you are not." She snapped, she knew she was right. "Well maybe you are sorry, but I know you were just looking out for your sister." She knew that to be true and found it hard to be angry.

"I truly am sorry, I did misjudge you." He said quietly.

"You should return; you are missing your own party."

"Will you not join me?" He asked hopefully.

"No, I fear my headache has returned and wish to stay here."

"Are your thoughts getting to you again?"

She stood, "I did not think you were the type to eavesdrop, but it seems I have misjudged you as well." She made to leave the room but he blocked her. She looked up at him, and saw his beautiful blue eyes and her thoughts went to last Saturday. She could not be mad at him nor could she think ill of him. _HE IS A GOOD GUY_ she thought. He looked into her eyes, they were unreadable. "Good night Mr. Darcy, I hope your wish comes true, and that you enjoy your gift." She said putting her hand on his arm. She gave him a small smile and left. He felt paralyzed, then a tingling sensation where her hand had been. He made to reach for her but she was gone.

***** Frozen, 'Let it Go'; Pink Floyd, 'Another Brick in The Wall Part 3'; Blonde Redhead, 'Elephant Woman'**

** I imagine that when Lexie plays, she moves a lot like Ji Hae Park. If you would like to YouTube her, the songs she played at the party are from the TED performance. Also I do not play the violin, but I have always wanted to.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I was hesitant about posting this chapter. It took me a while to write and rewrite it. I hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice all rights belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch.18

Will rejoined the party, when he sat down all his gifts were brought to him. From the Bingley's, his aunt, father, Hurst and Jonathan he received money and checks. Mrs. Reynolds gave him a sweater and a tin of his favorite homemade cookies. Mary and Collin's gave him each a book. Georgie gave him a sweater and scarf, a book, and another tin of cookies. He had one more gift. It was a painting from Anne of a pond and a forest in the back ground. It was placed in a beautiful antique looking frame. He was confused and wondered if Alexa had gotten him a gift. When he was leaving he thanked Anne for the birthday wish and that her painting and frame were both beautiful. She gave credit to Lexie for it all, and said that the frame was Alexa's gift. He was surprised when she hugged him, but he returned the hug. As he got in the car he noticed that Hurst, Jonathan and Mary were not yet leaving, and wondered why they were staying but did not ask. He only told Georgie to go straight to bed, that he would see her tomorrow and left.

He had a hard time falling asleep. He found it strange that he felt guilty about telling Georgie what he knew about Alexa. Even though she seemed to understand that he was looking out for his sister he knew that he had hurt her. Not only that, he had upset his sister which was what he was trying to prevent. He worried if he had upset them a great deal. Georgie did not seem upset during the party, was she such a great actress? Alexa on the other hand did seem somewhat upset at him but did not show it. She told him that she had misjudged him. He wondered what she had thought about him before and now. 'I should have known you would be like everyone else and assume the worst of me.' She was right, he was no better than the people at the welcome party. He woke up the next morning and he was in an especially bad mood. All night he thought about her, and he could hear a violin playing in his dreams. He decided to stay in bed longer than usual, and wished he had not. He happened to eat breakfast the same time as all of the Bingley's. Charlie was already texting Jane, Louisiana and Mr. Bingley were too busy eating to talk or listen, and Mrs. Bingley and Caroline were talking about Will's party. Caroline kept boasting about how nice and lovely everything was. That Mrs. De Bough took a liking to her, as well as Georgie and Anne. What made him interested in the conversation was the mention of Jonathan's name, but he pretended to be reading the newspaper. While everyone had gone outside, his aunt had told her that when Johnathan turned 21 he would become the CEO of one of the top 10 professional services networks but she had forgotten which one. He was the Salutatorian at Silver M, so he was very smart, and handsome. He felt a hint of jealousy but brushed it aside as soon as it came.

* * *

After Will and the Bingley's had left and Georgiana went to her room, Anne pulled Hurst off to the side and just hugged him. He loved holding her, it made it all the more real they were together. He loved how when they had gone outside earlier she had pulled him off to the side and they kissed. She had missed him she told him. She kissed him and thanked him for coming, and he and Johnathan left. She showed Mary to her room and went to check on Lexie. She entered the room and saw that Lexie was already in her pajamas and had her hair in a side braid.

"I believe that you should play the second song. I loved seeing that big smile on your face."

"I did enjoy playing it." She said quietly.

"Will you not tell me what is wrong?"

She nodded her head and Anne went to sit next to her on the bed. "I was right Will, told Gina things about me. I believe he told her to stay away from me."

"That bastard!" She stood up and started pacing. "Do not worry Lexie he will have a piece of my mind. Who does he think he is-"

Lexie giggled, "Anne, I love you! Come here." Anne sat back down and Lexie placed her head on her shoulder. "There is no need to speak with him. He was just worried for his sister."

"Yes, but that does not give him the right-"

"It gives him all the right, remember how your mother reacted?"

"Yes, but you know that did not affect my opinion." She put an arm around Lexie.

"I know, and we have been sisters ever since."

"Yes, and as your sister I am entitled to kick someone's ass when needed."

Lexie laughed, "Oh Anne! If only Hurst was not your boyfriend, I could kiss you right now."

Mary entered the room. "I am sure he would not mind at all, guys like that type of thing." She said lieing down on the bed.

"Ok then." Lexie picked up her head and gave Anne a big kiss on the lips. They all broke out laughing.

"Why did I just witness you kissing Anne?" Mary asked.

"She was willing to defend my honor and said she would kick some ass!" Lexie said and all three broke out laughing.

"I still am! Can you believe William had the nerve to tell Georgiana not to be our dear Lexie's friend! Ugh, if only he were here right now, I'd give him a piece of my mind."

"Please do calm down Anne, you frighten me when you turn into your mother." Mary said smirking.

"As it should be," she said in her best impression of her mother. They all laughed.

"So what are we going to do tonight?" Mary asked wiping a tear away from her face.

"The same thing we do every night Mary, try to take over the world." Lexie said trying not to laugh.

"I was hoping to get to know Georgiana, but I do not believe that is a good idea." Anne said a bit downfallen.

"Nonsense," Lexie said. "I know you would like to get to know your cousin, do not let me get in the way, you and Mary should go and see if she would enjoy your company."

"We would not leave you alone Lexie, besides, you are my guest."

"As is she, besides, I would not be comfortable if she were excluded on my behalf."

"We would not be comfortable with you being excluded." Anne said and Mary nodded.

"You know I will be fine, besides I have a headache, and need to nap." Lexie said. Anne and Mary were skeptical. "Do not worry I will be fine, now go be a good host and see if she is awake. If not, you may come back." She said pushing them off the bed.

Anne went to dress into her pajamas and as Mary and she made their way to Gina's room, they argued between talking to Gina and telling her about Lexie or just let things be as Lexie would have wanted. They reached the door and knocked softly at first then a little louder. Gina answered with a worried look on her face.

"Hello Georgiana, were you asleep?" Anne asked.

"No," she said quietly averting her eyes. She had heard the laughter coming from sown the hall, and felt left out.

"We were wondering if you would like to join us, we always stay up and listen to music and eat junk food." Mary said with a smile.

"Alexa is not with you is she?" Gina asked sadly.

"No she is not." Anne said with a hint of anger.

"Does she not like me anymore?" Gina asked sadly.

"Of course she does!" Anne exclaimed and went into the room. "She is the one who told us to come and make you feel welcome."

"Anne!" Mary said.

"That is to say that we wanted to invite you to join us but she told us that William would disapprove if the two of you were friends."

"ANNE!" Mary exclaimed.

"We might as well be truthful. Do not worry Georgiana, Lexie does not harbor any ill feelings towards you or your brother, she just wishes not to upset either of you."

"But she has done nothing to upset me. She makes me feel…..great! I cannot explain it. When we met earlier I felt as if I had known her a long time. It was William who made me upset he is the one who did not want me to befriend her. She has done nothing wrong." Gina said softly.

"I am glad to know that she had that effect on you too Georgiana. She has that effect on those she wishes to grace with her essence. Your brother must have not picked up on it." Anne told her warmly, then bitterly when she mentioned Will.

"We may join her if you like Gina, she would love to know you still wished to be her friend" Mary said smiling.

"I would like to join her, but I upset her earlier, she ran out of the room, I am sure I made her cry." Anne and Mary both had an unreadable face. "You see now both of you are upset with me!" She said starting to cry.

"No Gina, we are not upset with you at all!" Mary said placing a hand on her shoulder.

After Anne and Mary had told Gina a number of times that they and Lexie still liked her and that Lexie would love for all of them to hang out. They asked Gina to act as if nothing had happened earlier and made their way to her room. She was smiling brightly as they all entered and she cleared her homework off the bed. They all lied down, threw around suggestions of what to do. Mary suggested that they all go to the kitchen for their usual milk shakes, and make popcorn. They had fun, and all became friends instantly. Gina was asked about her school, and compared the differences. They went to Anne's room, and watched a movie, they listened to music showing Gina artist she had not heard of or ever considered listening to. Gina suggested that they do each other's hair and makeup. She was downfallen when the others did not seem enthusiastic about it, but got excited when they told her they did not know how to. She offered to do each of their hair and makeup and she was happy to be a test subject for them. She ran to her room and brought back a bag with makeup, nail polish, and other items. They stayed up a while longer and then all fell asleep on Anne's king size bed. They were all awoken when Gina woke up screaming, as if she was being murdered. It took a while for her to calm down, and she simply said that she had a nightmare. She did not know why but she found comfort in Lexie's embrace, and fell asleep.

Lexie woke up the next morning, and she felt arms around her and opened her eyes. It was Gina, she had tearstained cheeks and thought that she had more than just a nightmare. She looked like an angel with her golden locks covering her face she looked like a little kid. She tried to move without awaking any of the others but she woke up Gina.

"What time is it?" She asked quietly.

"6:30, go back to sleep, Anne and Mary will not be up for another three maybe two hours."

"Why are you waking up? Are you going to go to sleep in your room? Did I interrupt your sleep?"

"No. I always wake up early and go outside for some fresh air."

"Can I join you? I am not all that tired."

"Of course, I'll meet you downstairs in an hour."

Lexie made her way downstairs and saw that Mrs. Reynolds was already awake and eating breakfast. She greeted her warmly and asked how she had slept. Gina came downstairs and they made their way to the garden.

"I am sorry I awoke all of you last night." Gina said breaking the silence.

"There is no need to apologize Gina, I can assure you none of us minded. You cannot help it if you had a nightmare."

"No I cannot." She said sadly. Lexie just placed a hand on her arm and smiled. They were quiet and walked a little longer until Gina noticed Lexie was walking more stiffly. "Is your ankle bothering you? Would you wish to head back?"

"Yes, if that is all right. I am afraid I still might need the crutches."

"You make it sound horrible. I did not find it too bad, my only compliant; they hurt your armpits."

"How long did you have to be in crutches?" Gina stopped walking and looked upset. "I do not find it too bad, I have another week at least. It just means that Jonathan will probably keep on insisting that he help me." Lexie said quickly trying to change the topic.

"Why would you not want his help? Is he not your boyfriend?" Gina asked confused.

"Of course he is not! What would make you think such a thing?" Lexie asked trying not to blush.

"Oh my gosh you like him right? I knew it the way both of you looked at each other with big smiles on your faces."

"No! I can assure you, he is not my boyfriend, nor does he like me in such a way. What would make you think such a thing?"

"My first clue was when he pulled you aside to sit with you on the couch. Then when you held his hand, when you finished playing the way you smiled at each other. Oh and he could not stop glancing towards you. You were also wearing his sweater when we came back inside plus you had your arm around his. Oh my gosh Alexa you are as bright as a tomato!"

Lexie could feel the blush all over her face and neck. She had not realized any of those things, and she thought about when they were outside. He held her hand and called her pretty, well her mind technically. They laughed together, then he leaned in towards her, after hearing things from a different perspective she almost thought he tried to kiss her.

"So you do like him right? Why have you not dated?" Gina asked excitingly.

"I do not dislike him, he dislikes me. Or at least he did, he use to pick on me when we were younger and still does to some extent but he has never led me to believe he liked me in any way."

"Have you not seen any teen movies? They are filled with love hate relationships."

"I never hated him." She said truthfully. "But I have never gotten to know him. It is strange that we are both Hurst's best friends but we were never friends."

"Maybe something has recently changed, what have you done differently?"

"Nothing I can think of that would change his opinion over the course of a weekend."

"The way that boys think will forever be a mystery to is girls I believe."

"I am still sure that you are mistaken."

"Well Anne and Hurst are dating are they not?" Gina said slyly with a smirk.

"Honestly? Yes, but you cannot tell a soul, no one besides them, Mary, Johnathan, and myself know, Ok?"

"But why would they wish to keep it a secret?"

"It is their choice and we must respect it. Do you not agree?"

"Yes." She said a bit sadly and they continued walking.

Anne and Mary were already awake and ready when they got back and they all ate breakfast and talked. Gina let them know that Will would be coming for her around three and Anne suggested that Hurst take a photo of the girls and Gina agreed if she could do all of their hair and makeup again. Anne called Hurst and he let her know that Jonathan would also be joining them as he had stayed the night. Gina got excited at the mention of the news and ran off to Anne's room. Anne and Mary looked amused and suggested that she liked Jonathan and Lexie told them what Gina had told her. Neither seemed as surprised as she had been, and only said that they would have to observe his behavior when he comes over. Gina spent extra time on Lexie even though she met a lot of resistance. By the end Lexie was not comfortable. Gina had curled her hair, and put on purple eye shadow and black eyeliner to match Lexie's button up shirts. She also put mascara and a light blush with a reddish pink lip gloss. And Lexie did not have a chance to change anything because Hurst and Johnathan had arrived. She greeted both of them but could not manage to look at them. Hurst was too busy staring at Anne to notice Lexie's shy attitude. Gina had straightened Anne's hair and put the same makeup on all three of them. Gina curled Mary's hair and straightened her own hair. They went to the backyard where there were a couple of trees and Hurst took a couple of photos. When Lexie was reviewing the pictures Johnathan came up to talk to her and told her that she looked nice. She still could not meet his gaze and barley spoke to him. He asked her if she would not mind if he took one of just her. Gina and Mary had been listening and Gina suggested that she could take one of both of them if he liked. He agreed and Lexie was too dumbfounded to say anything. She tried to fight her blush but failed miserably. She looked at him from the corner of her eye and his smile at her reaction did not help.

They sat next to each other awkwardly and Gina suggested that he place an arm around her. Lexie knew that although Gina was only 15 she was a great schemer. There was nothing she could not do, she probably always got what she wanted and if she didn't she would find a way. Lexie no longer doubted that Johnathan at least liked her. But she was still trying to convince herself that it was only momentary. Or worse this was part of some elaborate joke. The thought made her paranoid and even more awkward. Gina soon said she got some good shots and left Johnathan and Lexie alone. She went off to sneak some pictures of Anne and Hurst, herself and Mary. Johnathan asked her if she was feeling better and she just responded that the weather was nice. He told her that he looked up Ji Hae Park and already brought her CD. She smiled and they started talking about the album. Lexie was so excited she did not realize that Gina had come back and started to take more pictures of them. They all went to eat lunch and saw that Will was already there. His aunt was speaking to him and when they all entered commented that they all looked lovely and everyone gave credit to Gina. She soon left to finish making preparations for tomorrows school day. They all greeted him and Gina sat next to him, and Mary on his opposite side. He could not help but look towards Lexie, she was sitting next to Johnathan again and smiling. He hardly paid attention to the conversation around him. After they ate Gina asked Hurst for permission to show Will the pictures to which he agreed. He gave a small smile to the photos with all of them. Gina looked so happy, genuinely happy. He smiled when he saw that the pictures of Lexie and Johnathan were awkward. He got confused when Gina took back the camera and flipped through several photos. She showed him some that she took of Mary and nature photos. And then he saw them, Lexie and Johnathan smiling brightly at each other. He looked up at them. Lexie was speaking with Mary and John was looking at her. He looked at Anne and she and Hurst were in a deep conversation with each other.

Lexie could not take it anymore. She could tell that Johnathan kept looking at her. She thought if she had given all her attention to Mary she would forget, but she could not. She silently asked Mary to go and speak with him while she made a silent exit. If asked she was to say that Lexie had a light headache and wished to lie down. Everyone else was speaking to someone except him, and Mary made her way over to him and began a conversation. Lexie waited a while and left, she walked quickly through the hall way trying to think of where to find solitude. She made her way outside and just kept walking. She had not realized that Will had followed her outside by suggesting that Gina show the photos to John. He had a hard time keeping up with her and almost lost track of her seeing as how he had never explored his aunts home. She would usually visit them. He found her sitting on the trunk of a tree looking into the distance. He came up behind her and startled her. She would not look at him. He asked her if she was all right.

"The weather is nice today, soon it will be winter."

"Why do you avoid the question?"

"Which question is that?"

"This is the third time I have asked you if you were all right and each time you avoid it."

She stayed quiet. "If both of us are missing, they will notice. I wish to be alone."

"May I ask why?" He asked raking his hand through his hair. He was frustrated it had been a long day.

"May I ask why you care? You do not wish for me to be friends with Gina, am I to believe that you want to be my friend?"

"I have already told you that I was wrong. What more would you like?"

"To be left alone." She told him frustrated.

"All right, thank you for my gift. The frame was lovely and I appreciated blowing out the candle."

"Anne gives me too much credit. The gesture was only for her, every birthday party I would attend she never got to blow out her candles. I came up with the idea after the first two parties. You should thank her."

"I already have, she told me to thank you. I will leave you to your thoughts."

Lexie let out a deep sigh and started to speak as he walked away. "Your sister informed me of something quiet shocking and I am afraid I do not know what to think. I am trying to sort things out and figure out what to do."

Will stopped in his tracks. Had Gina confided in Alexa? Was she now thinking of letting others know? He snapped and angrily answered. "I would imagine what she told you shocked you terribly then?"

"Well yes, of course. It would be a big shock if anyone knew, well except Anne and Mary, their reaction was not what I expected."

"You told them?" He asked seething.

"Of course they are my best friends, why would I not tell them?" She asked confused.

He lost it, how could she tell others something Georgie had confided in her. His poor sister now his cousin knew and a girl she did not even know, along with Alexa. He could not control his next words. "I knew it! I knew you would be a horrible friend to her."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me! You Alexandra Bennet are not good enough to be friends with my sister, my cousin with anyone. You are just as I thought. A sad, depressed, little girl who only sees evil in the world, you will only drag them down with you!"

"I think you misunderstand! I d-" Lexie cexclaimed.

"No! You betrayed her, how could you! _YOU!_ Of all people!" He yelled with disgust. "You are right I do not want you to be her friend nor do I wish to be yours. I have no idea why I thought there was more to you. You will never fit into society you infect everyone around you with your negative energy! You bring misery to others and I am going to speak to my aunt and convince her that you are not a good friend for Anne either!"

Lexie did not say anything, she couldn't she was trying to contain her tears. She just nodded and left, he walked back to the house angrily. He entered the living room and all of them looked at him. He told Georgie to make sure all her items were packed. They were going to go spend time together before they left. Gina went upstairs and he waited around listening to the others converse. Gina made her way downstairs and one of the butlers loaded her bags along with Mrs. Reynolds. Gina and she did not wish to leave without saying goodbye to Alexa and Mary told her that she had a headache. They made her way up to her room and knocked she was not there. Anne got worried and then called Alexa's phone. It rang twice and then went to voicemail. She was screening her calls. They looked for her at the usual places, but could not find her. Then Mary, Hurst and John began to worry. They would call and the phone would just ring and ring. They tried texting her and no answer. Will suggested it was getting late and suggested that she must have fallen asleep somewhere. They all agreed and Gina gave Anne and Mary a big hug and told them that she wanted copies of the photos, and asked that Lexie text her when she woke up so she may say goodbye.

Mrs. Reynolds was going to stop by her sisters while William and Gina hung out one last time and drove the rental car. She would meet them at the airport an hour before their flight. He was hoping that she would tell him that she had said something to Alexa. She might not know that she was betrayed but surely she would at least let him know that someone else was aware of what had happened. They spent hours shopping and all she would talk about was about how much fun she had with the girls and that she was sure they had become the bested of friends. It made it all the more painful to hear as he knew nothing could be further from the truth. As soon as they entered the car Will could not contain his anger any longer and demanded that Georgie explain why she told Alexa about Wickham. She paled and tears came to her eyes. Will pulled her into his arms and tried to calm her down.

"I am sorry Georgie but she betrayed you. Can you believe she was thinking of what to do with this information and told Anne and Mary? Who knows who they will tell? I am sorry Georgie, I hate to tell you, but I was right. People are only going to use you to get what they want. Please promise you will not keep in contact with her or Mary."

"B-bu-but I am confused! I-I-I did not say anything to her William I promise! How did she find out?" She asked worried and upset "I am sorry Will I think I may have spoken in my sleep I had a nightmare and she let me fall asleep in her arms. Why am I so stupid! Why can I not do anything right! Please! Please! Forgive me I will try to be a better sister! I promise I will not disappoint you again! Just do not be angry with me, I cannot stand it when you hate me!"

"Georgie I do not hate you now, nor have I ever! You are my sister and I love you no matter what! Ok? And you are not stupid, I do not ever wish for you to speak that way about yourself, am I clear?" He asked with authority.

"Yes," she said quietly and wiped away her tears. "What did she say that I have told her, how much does she know."

"Well, all she said was that you informed her of something quiet shocking and was afraid she did not know what to think. She was trying to sort things out and figure out what to do."

"Wait what?" She asked confused.

"Those were here exact words and that Anne and Mary were not all to shocked at what she told them. She was surprised by their reaction."

"I think you misunderstood her, I did not tell her anything about him. I-we were out walking earlier and we started talking about Johnathan. I told her that he liked her and she told me that he did not, could not. But you saw the pictures didn't you? Could you not see the way he would look at her?"

Will was silient, he could not speak, he could not think. He wanted to yell out loud but that would really frighten his sister. He raked his hand across his hair and pulled out a couple of strands. She had tried to tell him, he misunderstood again. Not only that he insulted her, he made her feel bad and worse he was happy to be doing so at the time. He did not care if he had hurt her he had wanted to and he had achieved it. He hated himself at the moment.

"William, what is wrong you look sick! Are you ok? Should we go to the doctor? Will?"

"I am fine, it is just that I made a huge mistake."

"What did you do, I am sure whatever it is it can be fixed."

"I do not think so Georgie, I really let my temper get the better of me this time."

Gina's face went through a variety of emotions and then it seemed to sink in. "Please do not tell me that you said something bad to Alexa"

Will grimaced and nodded his head.

"Fitzwilliam Joshua Clarence Darcy! Answer me what did you say to her?"

She had said his full name, he hated when she did that he relayed the whole conversation by starting with the beginning. By the end he could see that she was furious with rage, he had never seen her so angry. She berated him and called Anne immediately to check on Alexa. Mary answered the phone, and informed Gina that Lexie had not appeared and she had been missing since she first left. That everyone had already searched the entire house and looked around the grounds. They had yet to find her and it was already getting colder. They feared that she fainted and hit her head, she was not answering her phone, she must have turned it off. Gina informed Will and he told her where he had last seen her. Gina relaid the message to Mary and told her that she would be there soon. Once she got off the phone she demanded that he take her back to her aunt's house. He told her that she would miss her flight, but one look from her and he just drove. She called Mrs. Reynolds to inform her that they would have to catch the next flight, there was an emergency at her aunt's but it was nothing too big to worry about. Gina had not wanted to make Mrs. Reynolds as well, she would in turn tell Dr. Stone. She was sure that Alexa was fine. She hoped that she was fine, and would be found by the time they arrived.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter, I was not going to post it so soon, but I was anxious. Hope you enjoy!:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 19

His words had stung her, deeper than she thought they would have. No one had ever gotten to her that bad, not even Rose. Maybe it was because she saw the hate in his eyes, maybe it was because she felt something more for him. She knew he misunderstood everything and she wasn't allowed to explain. He hated her and she did not know why. He mentioned that she betrayed Gina. What had happened to make him so angry? He did not even want to be her friend. She had to escape get away; she just kept walking, and ignoring the light pain she felt in her ankle. Her phone rang at some point it was Anne, she declined. She got a few more and some messages; she turned her phone off and kept walking. Her eyes started to blur she could not see where she was going, but she kept walking she could still make out the figures of the trees. His words were lies! She did not make people around her sad or miserable. She didn't even hang out with anyone other than her friends. Their friendship might not be like other conventional ones, but she knew she never made them feel bad. She hated making people feel bad, she hated when someone felt bad, when they were hurt. That is why she never spoke about her feelings. Her feelings were pointless, they meant nothing, she hated her feelings. She never let anyone know the horrible thoughts, the hopelessness she felt. That there was no point we were all going to die. None of this should matter, what he said should not matter, how she feels should not matter. Life was going to go on the world was not going to end; but it did it mattered a lot right now. Every time her emotions would get the better of her it was an eternal struggle. She hated feeling like she was drowning in her thoughts. Once they were under control she would hate herself for ever feeling in the first place. They were pointless just like everything else.

Maybe there was a purpose for people. She had Anne, Hurst, Mary and Dr. Stone. They made a huge difference in her life. She just wished she could do that for others. She wanted to be wanted, she needed to be needed, she wanted to be happy. She wanted those things most in her life. She wanted to be happy for more than a couple of hours. She wanted not to care what others thought about her. She walked further and further until a sob escaped. Her hand slapped over her mouth, another sob escaped she fell to the ground and deeply inhaled. The ground was cold, she lay down, another sob came and she lied on her back breathing deeply in and out. Her hand still gripping her mouth hoping it would stop the tears from escaping. Soon she could feel the contrast of the ground against her body. She loved being cold, winter was her favorite time of year. The cold made her numb. On the bad days, she would sit outside without a jacket just so she could feel her body tense up and try to block out the pain of bitter cold. It was like thousands of needles trying to penetrate you at once, and all you could do is sit there and try to stay warm, try not to let it get to you. She would not do it for too long, it was the only type of physical pain she could endure. Just until she was numb, she needed it now, she needed that feeling. It was taking too long, not only did she want to cry, her ankle was really sore now that she had stopped walking, and her head was hurting as his words replayed in her head. She wanted to reach for her pills, they were in her pocket all she had to do was reach for them. No, she did not need them, she knew that she was not in danger of having a panic attack, but she also knew that the pill would calm her down. It was what she needed, to calm down. No! She would not take it, she had to learn.

She inhaled sharply through her nose, it burned and she exhaled through her mouth onto her hand. It was a trick she had learned to keep warm. It helped and she just repeated the process. She felt herself calm down, and then crawled to a place where the sun was shining through the trees. She laid there, it was warm and it felt nice, she did not know when but she drifted to sleep, her thoughts racing through her head. She woke up later, curled up in a ball and shivering. She looked around for the first time; she did not recognize anything. She did not even think she was still on the property, but figured that she must be, she had not seen a fence. She searched for her phone, no luck she must have dropped it somewhere. She shivered and looked for another spot where the sun hit. She tried to stand but her ankle would not allow her. She had to crawl, luckily no one was around, she imagined she looked as ridiculous as she felt. She lay down and basked in the warmth, she was tired of being cold but being warm her calm, and start thinking about what Will had said. She had to fight it, she placed herself in between the sun and shade. She wondered what time it was, how long had she been out here? She tried to stand up once again, no use she looked around once more, if only she could climb a tree she looked for one with a branch closest to the ground once again crawling. She used the tree to support her, and used the strength in her arms to lift her up with the help of her good foot. The first couple of branches are the hardest, but she wouldn't give up. She didn't know how long she had been gone, if it was too long she knew Anne and Mary would be worried about her. She stopped to worry about them, but then thought of herself. Oh how she needed them right now. She needed their love, needed to know that she would not lose them, never them, that they would always have each other. Her vision blurred, she blinked tears escaped and she pushed them aside. She had to keep going. She made it as high as she could until her ankle started to bother her again, luckily it was high enough.

She looked around, the view was breathtaking she wished she could stay here forever, but she knew she couldn't. She saw the house in a distance, now all she had to do was make her way down, a fact which proved to be difficult. She had to use both feet for this and she had to ignore the pain, she had to get back, she had to hold Anne and Mary, she needed them now more than ever. After what seemed like forever she reached the bottom, and began to crawl. The sun was lower and she knew that she had to get back before nightfall. Otherwise she would probably be there all night. No Anne would definitely send out a search party, poor Anne she must be a nervous wreck. She had never been out this long when she was here. Only at the house, no one would notice how long she was gone there. She knew on the day of the fall Anne was only being strong for her sake, and she loved her all the more. Thinking of her friends made her happy. Something good had come out of something bad. Anne and Hurst were finally together. Yes! That was the way she should see this situation something good would come out of this. Even if it was not for her, she kept crawling and was happy to see that she was leaving a trail behind her so she knew she was headed the right way. _Just keep swimming._ All she had to do was fallow the trajectory, well route. All she thought about, all that kept her going was that she had to get to Anne. She was surprised to have found her phone, and was excited. It made it all the more real that she was headed in the right path. She stopped to turn on her phone, there were 30 missed calls and about as many text messages. She realized while sitting there how much her knees hurt and looked at her palms they were filthy and burned. She was about to call Anne when she heard her name. It was Hurst! He was the only guy that called her Lexie. She yelled his name and placed her phone in her pocket. She began to crawl again, ignoring the pain, she was almost there, just had to keep swimming. She eventually came out of the trees and ran straight into where the day turned bad. She was at the tree where Will had told her she infected people with her depression, where he made her feel less than, where he threatened to take Anne away from her. _Anne. _She heard her name, it sounded so distant. All these feelings were coming over her, she was in pain, she was hurt, she was miserable all she wanted to do was cry, but she could not let herself. She was afraid of what might happen, of what might become of her. She heard footsteps running towards her, they were getting closer all she could do was curl up into a ball. She had to shut everything out, she had to shut herself in. It was what she knew it was how she got through life.

"Lexie! Lexie, are you all right?" It wasn't Hurst it was Johnathan, he fell to his knees and she could feel his arms wrap around her. It was then she realized how cold she was. She snuggled into his embrace hoping that the warmth he was giving her would somehow make her more even colder, no luck. "Lexie, you are freezing cold, here-" his arms left her and she felt a deeper sadness.

She wouldn't leave her nest, not even when he tried to place his sweater around her. He forcibly tried to unlock her grip, she held her own, but he was stronger. He forced the sweater on her and all she could do was stare at him. He looked truly worried for her, after he wrapped her back in his arms.

"You have no idea how much you scared us, what happened? Are you ok? Are you hurt?" She couldn't hold it in much longer, she felt tears falling tried to wipe them away, then a sob escaped. She still tried to fight it, and tried hard, but she couldn't stop, eventually she broke down. He just tightened his grip on her, she was crying uncontrollably. All the hurt she had ever felt and buried deep within was coming up. She wrapped her arms around him, she needed to hold onto something, needed to have control over something. He never said anything, he just kept holding her. His grip never fading, he knew he had to let her get it all out of her system. He had gone through the same thing she had, a long time after his parents died. Although it pained him to see how much she had suffered and repressed, he knew it was for the best. He also loved that she was in his arms. That she was holding onto him.

He had been with Hurst last Saturday when Anne called to let him know about the accident. He saw how panicked and worried Hurst became. He had felt the same way, and realized that Hurst must love Alexa more than he let on. Hurst had been showing him a portfolio he was putting together. A majority of them were nature pictures but there were quite a few of several people. The ones that caught his eye were of Alexa. His favorite picture of her would forever be the first he took, the first time he realized how much he liked her. They were at one of the Hurst's parties. Hurst had encouraged him to try photography, and had lent him his camera. He had been walking around and came upon her. She was standing by herself along the wall. She was looking in the distance, and had a smile on her face. It was the first time he had seen it. He took the picture but she had not turned to look, he followed her gaze. She was watching Anne and Hurst dancing. She looked beautiful, with her big smile but he brushed the feeling aside. He knew Hurst loved her, and wanted his friend to be happy. He knew he could never have a chance with her, not after the way he treated her through the years. He enjoyed hearing stories of her, and things she would ramble about at times. At night he texted Hurst to see how he was holding up and to ask how she was doing, Hurst told him she was fine physically but when he asked him to elaborate Hurst decided to tell him that he and Anne were now dating. He was shocked beyond words, Anne, what about Alexa? He asked and was more shocked to see that she was beyond happy for both of them: "The happiest he had ever seen her." It was true on Monday he had been waiting for them to arrive. He could see Hurst giving Anne a kiss before they exited the car. Alexa had that big smile on her face. She had started wearing makeup, it brought out the color of her eyes. He wanted to walk up to them but waited till he got to be alone with her. He saw his chance after band. He had been waiting near her locker watching her trade out her books. Her bag fell open, her books fell and he saw his chance. He thought things had been going great, until she stated that he didn't like her. He had to get her to see nothing was further from the truth. Yesterday, he had seen her bright smile; better yet she smiled at him. When they went outside, they conversed so easily, not at all like the past week. The moonlight made her glow. He had almost kissed her, but then they were interrupted. It was for the best, things happen for a reason.

Her grip loosened bringing his thoughts to an end. She was breathing heavily and was not crying anymore. "Lexie?" She snuggled closer to him. He felt his phone vibrate. It was Hurst calling.

"He-"

"Did you find her!?" It was Anne.

"Y-"

"Is she all right!? Why are not back yet? Should I call an ambulance? Well answer me!"

"Anne please calm down, she is fine, we are on our way."

He lay her down to stand and scooped her onto his arms. After a while she stirred "You should not be caring me, I am too fat."

"Lexie you are not even heavy why would you think you are fat?"

"Rose says," she answered sleepily and placed an arm around his neck.

"Rose Adams from school called you fat?" She said nothing. "Lexie?"

"John! Do you need any help?" It was Hurst jogging towards them.

"No she is not heavy."

"I know that," he said a little annoyed. "Is she hurt, did she tell you anything?"

"No, I found her a while ago I asked her what happened and she started to cry. She needed to let everything out I did not think she would want others to see."

"She cried?" Hurst asked sadly.

"Yes."

"Do not say anything to Anne or Mary, I will tell them."

He just nodded, they had never seen her cry, no one had ever seen him cry either he felt a connection to her. They entered the house, the Darcy's were there they looked guilty of something. Will left a while after Alexa had and never came back, he must have done something. He stared daggers at him, letting him know he knew something happened. Will averted his gaze, Anne and Mary ran towards him and started to ask questions, he just asked Anne to lead him to her room. He laid her on the bed, he was going to walk away but felt her small hand wrap around his tightly. He looked at her for the first time, her hair was a mess and dirty. The curls were coming undone and she had grass and twigs in some places of her hair, along with her clothes. Her makeup was a mess, she had tearstained cheeks, her eyes were swollen and glossy but she was staring at him. Despite everything she was still beautiful. She let go when Anne and Mary walked in they looked really heartbroken. Hurst must have told them.

"Anne! Mary! Hurst!" She cried. They all went towards her and Jonathan was going to move but she grabbed his hand again. She somehow managed to pull them all for a hug.

Anne sat next to her, "Lexie, what happened?"

"I am sorry Anne! I am so so sorry!" She broke down crying freely.

"Shh, it's all right Lexie, it's ok." Anne pulled her into a hug. She calmed down. "Will you not tell us what happened? Should I send Jonathan away?"

"No! Please," she inhaled and exhaled deeply. She needed him there. "I went outside to think about something," she glanced from the corner of her eye at Johnathan. "Will followed me…." She said quietly and tears started falling. Anne turned a deep red and she looked like she was out for blood. All of them but Lexie had the same look.

"What did he do Lexie?" Anne asked trying to sound calm, all she wanted to do was go and rip his head off.

"We started to talk, and he misunderstood what I was saying I tried to explain but….. and he-he told me that I was a sad, depressed girl who was not good enough to be friends with anyone. Tha-that I only infect people with my negative energy. I make everyone miserable, and-and," she started to sob uncontrollably. Anne just hugged her tightly.

"Lexie listen to me! Nothing could be further from the truth and all of us here know it." Anne said authoritatively.

"He-he said he was going to tell your mother not to let us be friends! He wants to take you away from me! Please do not let him I-I can't lose you! Any of you!" She said in between sobs.

"That will never happen! I promise, Ok?" Anne said looking in her eyes. Lexie nodded.

"I just started walking, and I do not know how far I walked and fell asleep. I awoke but could not stand, nor did I have my phone. I had to climb a tree, and I crawled back here." They all looked at her bewildered. "Everything hurts Anne, everything," she softly said.

"I am going to go get the maid to run a hot bath for you ok?" Anne asked. Lexie nodded in agreement but when Anne stood Lexie grabbed onto her and refused to let her go. Mary had to come and hug her and Lexie broke down all over again. Anne left the room and Hurst asked Johnathan to stay with them, following Anne out.

She stopped to call the maid but did not return to Lexie's room, Hurst followed her to the living room, she was walking quickly. She reached the living room looked straight at Will. "You bastard!" She stormed up to him and slapped him. Everyone was shocked. She was going to strike him again but Hurst had run up behind her and picked her up. She struggled against his tight grip still trying to reach for Will. "Let me go! Let me go!"

"Anne, you need to calm down." He said into her ear. She relaxed and hugged him. He hugged her tightly, he wished he had hurt him but Anne beat him to it. It would have hurt more if he punched him though. He would have made sure of it.

Will had been too shocked to move, he did not think Anne was possible of such strength. He would never think of her as sickly again. Gina was also shocked, she wanted to be upset with Anne, but at the same time she was a little happy about it. What William said to Lexie was horrible.

"I would really appreciate it if you left, William. And if you think that I would allow you or my mother to come in between Lexie and I you are mistaken."

"An-" Will said.

"No! You will leave or I will ask Hurst and Johnathan to escort you out!" She said seething.

"Anne?" Gina piped in.

Anne looked at her and her face softened. "You are welcome to stay Gina, I am sure Lexie would appreciate that you came back to make sure she was fine, but your brother has to leave. I do not want him here."

"Anne if you would let me explain!'' Will said.

"Yes of course, I am sure you allowed Lexie the same curtesy?" He averted his gaze. "I thought so."

"Anne, may I please speak to you privately?" Gina asked, Anne nodded and led her to one of her rooms.

Hurst did not want to be left alone with Will started to walk up the stairs. He stopped and turned. Will looked at him but neither said anything. Hurst turned back around and climbed the stairs. He was too angry to say anything, he wanted to go check on Lexie. She needed him, needed all of them. He walked in and saw that she still was still hugging Mary tightly and surprised to see that she was holding John's hand. He sat at the foot of the bed Lexie looked at him and she adjusted herself so that she was laid her head on Mary's lap, and managed to hold his and John's hand. The maid told them the bath was ready. Lexie tried to stand, but her ankle hurt too much. Hurst carried her to the restroom. He returned and Mary came up to him and hugged him. The maid started to change the sheets, and they waited. He told Mary that Anne was speaking to Georgiana and they remained silent each lost in their own thoughts.

Lexie submerged herself under the warm water. She had not said anything to Mary or Johnathan while Anne and Hurst were gone. She stayed until she couldn't hold her breath any more. She looked at her hands they were filthy, she washed them and once all the dirt was gone she could see that they were scraped and they burned. She then washed her face, scrubbed until she felt clean. That was what she chose to concentrate on getting clean. She got dressed into her pajamas and just stared at herself in the mirror. She wished she had better pajamas, she knew Hurst and possibly Johnathan would be waiting and although she would not be shy around Hurst she was now shy around John. John? When had he become John? All she could remember was crying and holding onto him. His tight embrace around her. She was grateful he did not say anything, he just let her cry. She felt as if a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders. She felt free, but also frightened. Would she still be able to control her emotions, would she stay this way? She made her way to the door and looked around only John was in the room. She tried to fight her blush and started to walk stiffly towards the bed. He asked if she needed help, all she could do was nod. She thought he was going to help support her but he lifted her up and carried her. She could not fight her blush as she thought about how his hand was wrapped around her bare thigh. He sat her at the bed and fixed the pillows around her. He was going to sit on a chair, but she pulled him to sit next to her. She hugged him and he returned the hug.

"Where is everyone?"

"They are downstairs speaking with the Darcy's." He told her and started to play with her hair. Her grip tightened. "I do not know why they are here, I have not left I did not want you to be alone."

"Thank you,'' she whispered and looked up at him and stared into his eyes. "Thank you for everything." He had the same look in his eyes he had yesterday and he leaned in a little. She averted her gaze to his shirt. "I am sorry about your shirt, I will pay for a new one if the makeup does not come off." She blushed as he looked down, he had not noticed before.

"It is fine, and there is no need I can afford to buy a new one." He said smirking.

"I know, but you would not have to buy a new one if I had not ruined your shirt and-"

"Lexie I have plenty of shirts, I do not need a new one, nor will this one be missed." When did he start calling her Lexie? It was nice.

"But"

"How about this, play a duet with me for the concert and we will call it even?"

She thought about it. "If you are willing to practice several songs until we find one we can both agree on yes."

"Great! When can we start?" She giggled at his enthusiasm. She felt happy.

"The sooner the better, my schedule is free until November and the concert is in October, so I see no problems."

"Great! How about tomorrow? We can go to my house I know you live in the county." He said hopefully.

"I would need to be at Mary's at 6 on the dot."

"But Mary lives in the city."

"My father picks me up at that time." She said a little sadly. She would have to return to the house. Would things be different there?

"Ok." She smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"Everything he said is a lie. You know that don't you?" His hand cupped her cheek.

"There is some truth in what he said." She replied sadly, and looked down.

"No, he does not even know you." He said lifting her chin up.

"You do not know me either." She looked into his eyes.

"I know more than you think."

"You do not know what he knows then." She decided that if he did like her more than a friend he had to know. If he just wanted to be friends then she did not want the same outcome with Will. Either way it was better before they became closer. "I would like to tell you tomorrow if you wish."

There was a knock on the door, it was Anne and Gina. Anne looked pale and Gina looked as if she had been crying. "Lexie, Gina would like to speak to you, if that is all right?"

"Yes of course."

"I will see you tomorrow. Get some rest," John said and gave her a hug. "Good night. Georgiana have a safe flight." He left and Anne followed after.

"That is right Gina why are you still here, you missed your flight!"

"William told me what happened, everything I called to speak with you but they said you were missing."

"I see, you should not have changed your plans on my occasion."

"I wanted to make sure you were fine, and I know that I cannot excuse my brother's behavior, he had no right to tell you any of those things."

"Gina please do not explain for him, nor apologize. If he wants he may speak to me himself, but do not do it for him."

"All right, but know that he was only concerned for me. He thought you were speaking about something no one else should know."

"Gina," Lexie sighed and placed a hand on hers. "I know, I have concluded as much. Like I said if he wants to apologize and explain himself then he may. I do not promise to forgive him but it is something he must do."

"But it was about me." She protested.

"Gina, I understand, I honestly do. I do not hate either of you. Ok?" Gina nodded. "Ok, now thank you for coming to check on me, I am fine nothing bad happened. Now I do not want you to miss school over me, so we have each other's phone numbers and email. We will keep in touch I promise." She pulled her in for a hug.

"Do you not wish to know what happened? I know William will not tell you the whole story."

"Gina, it is not my business, I do not need to know. It will not change anything. Do not worry about it. I would like nothing more than to be your friend, but if you do not wish to be that is ok."

"I do! I do wish to be your friend!"

"Good, now you should get going, it is getting late. I will send you the pictures, as soon as I get them from Hurst."

"Ok, can I send William up?" She asked hopefully.

"Only if he wishes to, please do not make him. I would find it insulting if he did not mean his apology."

"Ok. Oh Alexa! I am so happy you still wish to be my friend!" She said happily.

"I am happy you wish to be mine, travel safely."

Lexie hated those moments she was alone four minutes seemed like a lifetime. She knew Mary or Anne would come eventually. Perhaps both of them, there was a knock at the door, it was him. He must have been waiting nearby.

He entered began to pace and stopped. He ran his hand through his hair, and began to pace again. He stopped let out a sigh and came up to her. "I am truly and deeply sorry for all that I said. I let my temper get the best of me and even then what I said is inexcusable. I will understand if you do not forgive me, I do not expect you to. I would not forgive myself."

She looked at him and evaluated his words. He said he would understand if she did not forgive him, but his eyes told a different story. She did not know how to feel. "Why are you apologizing?"

He looked confused and truthfully answered. "Because I feel really horrible and I hate myself for what I said."

"I see." She said angrily, he did not want to be friends he did not care about her feelings, only his but his apology was sincere. She did not want him to hate himself, she didn't even hate him. Only herself for trusting him, she should have known he couldn't handle it. "Do not feel horrible on my account Mr. Darcy we are not friends. You are forgiven."

He raked his hand through his hair. "But you cannot forgive me so easily." He felt worse, she had forgiven him too easily, what was worse was he had lost the little relationship he did have with her. They were not friends. He had told her that himself. She had told him something, he thought about her personality disorder. He hurt her deeply.

"My forgiveness does not excuse your behavior. It prevents your behavior from destroying my heart. But yes I forgive you not knowing anything about why you acted as you did. I forgive you because your apology is sincere."

He looked shocked. He was, He had been waiting down the hall to comfort Gina if she needed it. It had taken her a while to compose herself after telling Anne. She however returned happy, Gina explained that Lexie did not know nor wanted to know what happened, why he got angry. It only made him feel worse, but at the same time relieved. The less people who knew the better, Anne had not taken the news to well, but she seemed less angry. She had yet to forgive him. Alexa should not be allowed to forgive him so easily, she was far too kind. He wanted her to know wanted to explain.

"I had thought that Gina told you something from her past, and you told Anne and Mary-"

"Mr. Darcy! I do not need an explanation. Nothing you tell me will change anything. You still said horrible things, things that cannot be taken back ever. You already explained that you lost your temper, I understand why, Gina is your sister you thought I betrayed her. I could only imagine my reaction if I thought someone hurt Anne or Mary. Ok?"

He just nodded, what about her sisters he thought to himself. They said goodbye to each other and he made his way downstairs. Anne and Mary looked angry and Gina looked worried. She asked what had happened if he had been forgiven and he replied that he had. Anne gave a scoff and Mary fidgeted in her seat. They hugged Gina and coldly told him goodbye. They called Mrs. Reynolds and made their way to the airport. They had to wait an hour before the plane left. Mrs. Reynolds asked if all was ok and luckily Gina did all of the speaking. Excited talking about her three new friends. He was not ok. He got home and ignored everyone. Charlie tried to speak with him but he told him he had a headache, and he was going to sleep. He took some Advil, took a long hot shower and lied down. Luckily sleep came it had been a long emotional day, and he had not slept the previous night. The only thing that helped him sleep was telling him, that he would make it up to Alexa. He had to make it up to her. He knew was happy Anne owed him a favor. She might not want to do it now, but if she knew it was for Alexa she would change her mind.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thank you so much for those of you who have reviewed and are following or reading my story **** It means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter Lexie and Johnathan speak. I am still adamant about keeping each chapter at least 6,000 words long, but next chapter will contain Lexie meeting John's family, and Will and Lizzie. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen. **

Ch. 20

Lexie had been nervous all day, Anne and Mary had noticed in the morning. They saw her continuously scratch herself, though she was unaware she was even doing it. Although they would usually not comment they asked her if she was sure she wanted to go to school today. She kept saying that she was fine, though they did not believe her they did not press the matter. She had fallen asleep soon after Will had left her. She was exhausted, her body was sore, her head and ankle hurt, but surprisingly she felt at peace. She woke up when Anne and Mary had come to sleep with her, she scouted to the middle and fell asleep happy to be with her family, happy to be loved. At breakfast she had eaten twice, she was starving. They talked about Will apologizing, but did not tell Lexie that Anne had struck him. Lexie decided to let Mary know what had happened when she fell, and she asked both of them what they thought about her telling John about herself. They told her that they did not think it was a good idea, especially after yesterday. They thought that she should wait a while to be sure it was something she thought she could handle.

It was lunchtime, and Mary was going to stay for extra practice. John helped her with her books and she told him she would like to talk now if it was all right. He agreed, but they walked outside in silence. His heart broke a little. He was over the moon happy last night, she was going to play a duet with him, was going to be spending time with him. She was going to open up to him, and now he was worried that she was going to back out of everything and he would be back where he started. They sat down and he asked if she was fine. She looked around paranoid and scratched her hand.

"I-I do not like it when I am asked that question." She said hesitantly. He said nothing he didn't know what to say. They stayed quiet for a while. "May I ask you a question, and receive the honest truth?" She asked looking into his eyes.

"Yes."

"Why are you being nice to me? I mean what changed, we have never truly spoken and now we are spending time together, alone even."

"Well you're blatantly honest," he said smirking. He could not tell her the honest truth, he would scare her away if he told her that he was in love with her. _Not yet._ "I want us to be friends, I spent so much of our youth being mean to you, I never got to know you. I suppose now that it is our senior year I realized that we are Hurst's best friends, probably share many of the same interest, and things, and like you said we have never truly spoken or hung out. I just hope it is not too late and hope to be great friends. Best friends even." He said honestly and smiled.

She smiled in return, he just wanted to be friends. He did not like her romantically it was easier to breathe, and she thought it would be easier to tell him. She nodded and stayed quiet. She still couldn't bring herself to talk to him. She thought about Will, and got frightened. John would react the same way, he would reject her friendship again. Worse he would know about her. _He is a different person, they are not the same, they just have certain similarities._ She looked at him again. It was true although Will and John were different people they truly were almost alike. She had known John most of her life, and all she knew of Will was what Mrs. De Bough had told her. Both were very handsome, tall and muscular. She knew John had women falling at his feet. They were both wealthy, though John was undoubtedly wealthier. John seemed more relaxed, whereas Will seemed more rigid. She tried to speak but would stop, she couldn't seem to do it. She scratched her hand, and looked around again.

"Why don't we go somewhere more private to speak?" He asked.

"I am afraid that is going to be impossible, Anne and Hurst will soon be here and soon we will have to go back to class."

"We could go off campus to eat." She looked at him as if he were crazy. "I know this great pizza place, and I also know that you do not _need_ to go to class, nor do I. We don't have to get pizza, we may get whatever you like." She didn't say anything, she was thinking. He saw her scratch her hand again, and saw that it was turning red. He placed his hand over it, "Lexie if you do not wish to talk to me, it is fine I understand. Please do not make yourself uncomfortable on my behalf."

She exhaled deeply. _Just rip the band aid off._ Hearing he did not want her to be uncomfortable made her relax a bit. "No, it is best you know now sooner than later." She felt her eyes begin to water thinking about Will. She grabbed his hand which was still over hers and controlled her feelings. "I just need to know what I tell you will remain between us."

Anne and Hurst were walking up to them, "I promise." She nodded and informed Anne that she and John were going off campus, but would be back. Anne gave John a warning look, as did Hurst and smiled when John got the message. There would be hell to pay if he hurt her. Hurst had told him Anne slapped Will. He would not want a furious Anne after him. Knowing she had Hurst wrapped around her finger. He also knew how angry Hurst had been, and would jump at the opportunity to hit someone.

They walked to his car a '64 Mustang. She had always seen it and wondered whose car it was. It was out of place in this parking lot. The paint was faded and it looked old, but when he turned on the car it sounded brand new. "I did not know this was your car, I've always seen it, it is a '60's car?"

He smiled his big bright smile. "64 Mustang, Are you a car aficionado?"

She couldn't help but smile. "No not really, my sister Lizzie is and she always points out cars on the road stating the year and model." Her smile faded. "It is one of the many things her and my father do together." She said sadly. "So where are we going?"

"Wherever you'd like, I'll eat just about anything."

"You may get what you like, to be honest I'm not too hungry."

"Great me either, technically we can eat whenever since we are not at school. How about we go to the park?"

"That would be nice, no people." She said quietly.

She turned up the volume on the radio, "Is this the, The Chariot?" She said with a smile.

He smiled, "No it is '68, Josh Scogin's new band. I did not think you liked them, Hurst doesn't which is strange because he never returned my CD."

"I love them, they are one of my favorite bands. Chaotic harmony, it's amazing! I believe I have your CD. He gave it to me to listen to and I never returned it. To be fair though he never said it was his, and he informed me he did not like it. But I will return it tomorrow."

"No! It's fine you may keep it. I have already bought another one. I am glad you like it, not many people do."

"I wish I could yell like he does, and the lyrics, although religious are amazing! Awesome! But I could go on forever." She said excitedly.

"You may borrow this album if you wish, return it when you like."

She nodded happily, and spoke more about music. They got to the park and found a bench in the shade. They stayed quiet for a while. "You know you can trust me right? Nothing you tell me will go beyond us." He told her in hopes it would help her to open up.

"The truth is I do not trust anybody, not fully anyways. It is hard when all people do is disappoint you time and time again."

"I did not think Anne, Mary or Hurst would ever disappoint you. You all seem like a family rather than friends."

She smiled big, "Yes _they_ are my family, they have never disappointed me. I just meant that…I do not trust them with my inner deepest thoughts, no one but I know them."

"What about your doctor, do you not trust them? You can tell them anything, and they cannot tell others you know?"

"I've been seeing Dr. Stone for a very long time now. I do trust her, it was not easy. I use to have to see her three times a week. I know she would never tell anyone what I tell her, but I still can't open up completely. I-I am afraid that if anyone knew how I felt, how I feel, how I truly am. They would no longer wish to know me. I am afraid of being alone which is ironic because I love to be alone. When I am alone no one criticizes me, makes me feel inferior, less than. I do not have to listen to the mindless numerous things one talks about. But at the same time I want nothing more than to be with someone that wants to be with me. Does that make any sense?" She looked at him.

"Yes you want someone to accept you for who you are, with all your faults. In your mind your flaws are huge, the ones that know what little of them you've shared have accepted you. They love you enough to have earned that trust. You like to be with them because they make you happy. But when you are with others you wish to be alone." She beamed at him, gracing him with her big smile he could not help return.

"Yes!" She said happily. He understood her ramble perfectly. Would he understand the rest? "They have all met my family, and still love me." She paused. "Wow that sounded horrible." She giggled. "That did not help at all. It is just that well you've seen them at concerts and other events. Yet I am the embarrassment of my family." She said solemnly, "I do wish I could love them…. I do on some level, I would be sad if they died, but how can someone who loves you make you feel so horrible?" She took in a deep breath. ''I mean it both ways, Rose hates me because she blames me for so much, things beyond my control. I make it easy for her to hate me because of the way I am. My father does not truly love me, I am a burden to him. He just loves that I am smart, and talented, he likes to brag. But he does not love me. Lizzie is his favorite. She's the only one he spends anytime with." She paused. "Would you like to know what I do with my time with him? Nothing, he does not speak to me. After several times of trying, I finally gave up. The sad thing is no matter how much I know this, how many times I remind myself, I try. All he tells me is to keep working hard, and makes sure I have perfect grades. But his standards do not apply to the others. I'm the only one who has to do as he wishes. Jane and Lizzie could get C's and B's and he does not care enough about Kitty or Lydia, they can do as they please." Tears were falling from her eyes, her feelings were coming up again, she tried to contain them. It was no use, she was embarrassed. She had not meant to tell him so much, it just came out. "So they must not love me if I make them feel horrible." She sobbed.

He moved closer to hug her, she turned into his embrace, he started singing "Mother" by John Lennon, and she cried harder. She eventually calmed down. "You have a lovely voice, it is one of my favorite songs. It is funny how relatable songs can be."

"Thank you, though I think I enjoy to hear you sing more than myself." He said with a smirk. She giggled and he laughed.

"Presumptuous are we?" She said giggling.

"Very, in fact I wake up every morning get ready and tell myself that I look good before coming to school." He said trying not to laugh, he couldn't contain it and soon Lexie was laughing with him.

She stayed in his embrace, it made her feel stronger. "That is a good thing though. There is nothing wrong with knowing you are handsome as long as you do not let it get to your head. Like I know I am not ugly, and I am happy that I am plain."

"What do you mean you are beautiful," he blushed, he did not mean to say it, the words just spilled out.

Her smile faded. "No my sister Jane is beautiful, everyone would tell you as much. Tall, skinny, blonde, blue eyes, she's an angel. Then it would be Lizzie in my opinion, then Kitty. She can be very pretty if she did not cover her face with all the makeup she uses. Then Lydia in my opinion, leaving me last. But I suppose it depends on who you ask. Rose would say Jane, Lydia, Lizzie, Kitty and then me But she would not call me pretty, just plain. But thank you for the compliment, I believe I can _look_ beautiful but I am only plain. I think it is a step up from how I use to feel, I use to feel so ugly."

"Rose is your mother?" She nodded, "Why do you call her Rose but your father is father?"

"Well Rose has never been a mother to me, not in private at least. She likes to brag about me and my friendship with Anne and Hurst to her friends, but in the confines of the house all she does is tear me down. Well at least she use to, it is not so bad anymore. On bad days she still gets under my skin. My main goal there is to be invisible and for the most part I am. I have given up on trying to get her to love me, I honestly do not care anymore." She took a minute to think. "No that is not true, though I wish it was…Yes it stings, but the pain dies away every day. One would think it would be gone by now, but no it's still barley there." She took another deep breath. "My father on the other hand, I find myself still trying. I do what I can to try and make him proud of me. In my mind I believe, that if he is proud of me, then it must mean he loves me. No matter how hard I try, how many trophies and ribbons I get. If all my grades are 100's he still resents me. Both of my parents do. I should know better, logically I do and I tell myself that none of this matters, how they feel about me. My feelings should not matter, nothing is going to change."

He was quiet, and she started to worry, she had only meant to tell him, what she told Will. She was not suppose to tell him any of this. These were things she kept to herself, but he did not know her family. He already wanted to distance himself she knew it. At least he did not know everything. She was startled when he lifted her up and sat her on his lap. He turned her sideways and gave her a big tight hug. She leaned into his embrace.

"So you see Will was right I infect people, I know that if I were happy? If I were normal, they would at least love me a little."

"It is not your fault, Lexie. They are the ones who helped shape you. Their actions and words are responsible for your sadness. Do you not see that?"

"Yes, Dr. Stone said as much, "Every single shred of joy and wonder has been tarnished, consumed and rejected by cold reality." From a young age I saw the world different than most kids. They helped shaped me it is true, but there must have been something about me that made unlovable."

"That is not true! Anne, Mary and Hurst love you deeply as does your family."

"Anne, Mary and Hurst are my family. I am not close to my actual family. I have explained my relationship with my parents. Lydia is Rose's favorite, so their views of me are the same. Kitty is jealous of me though I do not know why. She is capable of what I have achieved, all of them are. She does not know and refuses to listen how hard I worked to get where I am. Jane and Lizzie do love me, I am closest to them. They were the only ones who cared that I got hurt last Saturday. But I feel that they do not like to spend time with me for the same reason. They do not understand me, and do not wish to. They have never tried to. I once spoke with Lizzie. Even as children we were never close, but she is my twin. It was the first and last time. I could tell I made her sad, I do not remember what I told her. I just remember that afterwards she did not wish to speak to me, nor Jane."…"She must have told my father, I could tell he was angry with me, and he started to avoid me. My guess is that Lizzie asked him not to say anything. So I stay to myself. Well I go for jogs with Lizzie and riding with Jane, but that is about it. I help them with their homework once in a while. Once again bringing Will's words justice."

"Please stop saying he was right, he was wrong. Do you not see the effect you have on your friends? You should have seen them when you were missing. Hurst was the same when you fell last weekend. You are a big part of their lives. I do not think they would know what to do without you. You have this aura about you Lexie. I have only seen it when you are with them. When you are happy, you radiate this energy. You make others around you happy too."

"You honestly think so?" She asked happily.

He smiled, "Yes you have that same effect on Georgiana, and even on me. Your smile, you have a beautiful smile. You glow."

She looked down, and blushed. She realized she was still in his embrace. She must have shown her discomfort on her face. He let he go and she slid off him. He got angry at himself. But he couldn't help but tell her the truth.

"Would you like to get something to eat? We can continue speaking if you like. If you would rather return to school though, I understand."

"Yes, where would you like to go?"

"I am not picky, anyplace will do. How about you?"

"I asked you first."

"And I answered your question." She said smirking "So now you must answer mine," she said giggling as he frowned.

"Touché," He said and chuckled. "Very well then," he said with an evil smirk. "Do you like Mexican food?"

"I have never tried it, but I like I said I am not picky."

"Great, let's go." He said a little too enthusiastically.

The car ride to the restaurant he explained how he and Hurst had found the restaurant once when they were bored one day and it became one of their favorites. They also spoke about their likes and dislikes and found that they were almost the same thing. His dislikes were things Lexie did not know about, therefore could not say she disliked them. They arrived and were seated, there were a couple of people eating and they sat in a corner. He asked if he could order for her and after thinking about it for a while she agreed. She had seen him smirk, and figured her was planning something.

"Do you think Anne will be angry that I kept you out of school too long?"

"No, she knows why. She may not like it, but she knows you aren't holding a gun to my head, and respects my decision."

"You told her you were going to speak to me?"

"No I asked her opinion, what she thought about me telling you about myself." She glanced at him and his eyes asked a question. "She thought that I should wait insight of what happened yesterday, to be sure I could handle it."

"I think you are doing a good job. I believe that things happen for a reason, although a lot of bad things happen I believe something good comes out of it. It might take a while to see, but it happens."

Her smile fell, and she felt guilty. She believed that life was pointless and the world was just a fucked up place. Bad things just happened, people were evil. It was human nature to want more than, be vain, self-centered. But yesterday she had come to the conclusion that there was a point of people existing, just not her.

"You do not have to keep going if you do not wish. Thank you for telling me what you have said. I just hope one day to earn more of your trust."

"You, you would still like to get to know me?" He said yes staring straight into her eyes and smiled. "That was nothing just the tip of the iceberg. I would like to tell you now if it is all right."

The waitress came and placed a bowl with chips and a sauce on the table, and took the order. He ordered a plate of enchiladas, which came with rice and beans. He waited for the waitress returned and encouraged her to try the tostadas and salsa. It was priceless to see her try and stay composed. He was sure she would react as he and Hurst had, but she was tough. She just smiled at him turning red, and took a sip of tea. He was surprised it was a small one.

"You are tougher than Hurst and I, we chugged the whole glass." He told her smirking. "Did you like it?"

She tried another, then another. She smiled, "Yes," and took another small sip. "It is nice to know I beat you at something." She said smiling.

"What do you mean you beat me all the time." He said in a clipped tone.

"I did not mean to say that. It was more of a joke because I did not beat you at anything in the literal sense. You only said that I could handle this one thing that you…I am really very truly deeply really sorry. I do not think I am better than you at all." She said quickly, and added "I have never thought so." Quietly…."This was a bad idea. I _was_ getting to comfortable with you. But now I know so it will not happen again Ok? Are we still friends?" She asked panicking. She had regretted saying it. It made him angry, it was why he did not like her, she stole his place at the top of the class. She already told him too much and formed a small attachment to him. Yesterday came back to her head. The time it took for him to answer did not help.

"You see I told you I was a horrible person, and you refused to listen. Now you hate me again, Anne was right I cannot handle this. I should have waited." She said thinking out loud.

"I never hated you Alexa." _Back to Alexa, great._ She thought which made her sad. "I had recently lost my parents when you got transferred to Silver. I was angry already because it was not fair that my peers had their parents and I did not. They were taken from me." He closed his eyes. _Honest truth_. He had to share something with her. He was going to lose her, he could not lose her. "Then you came and I felt as if you took my spot. Not to mention the fact that you were a scholarship student and your family. Then you started to play the violin." He looked up at her, he was making her feel bad.

"You know how I believe things happen for a reason. It just takes a while to see the good?" She just nodded. "Well I had always thought that I was better than people beneath my station, it was how I was raised. I learned that it was not true, and I believe I am a better person for it. When you started to play, I wanted to prove that I could play better, so I learned to play the cello. It was the best thing that could have happened. It helped me work out so many feelings. It was therapeutic, all thanks to you." He smiled brightly at her and she gave a small smile back.

The waitress came and left their plates. She took a bite of the enchiladas, and turned as red as a tomato. She took a huge sip of her tea and began to fan herself. She looked at him and pouted when he smirked. Her eyes became watery and her nose was runny. He tried to suppress his laugh as she drank more tea.

"You are truly evil. I hope you know that." She said still trying to compose herself.

He broke out laughing, she was semi comfortable. "You did say that you were not picky, and anyplace would do. You also allowed me to order for you, so this is your own fault."

"Had I known that you were going to be cruel, I would have ordered myself." She said sniffling.

"I was actually being nice, this is not that spicy compared to the other dishes, so I did you a favor." He said chuckling.

"What about tacos?"

"They come with this salsa that you _can _put on it. It is spicier than this; I would have suggested you use it, and you would have. In the end this was actually being nice."

She just rolled her eyes and tried the rice, and beans. She found that by mixing them, it was not that spicy, and when she finished her tea, she stole John's soda and drank it. He could not stop giggling and it was hard for her to be serious. When they finished they ordered dessert, it was as if nothing had happened. She was a little more comfortable around him, but she could not really get passed the fact that she made him angry. He was just hoping, he had not scared her.

"Would you wish to go back to the park, after dessert or back to school?" He asked her hoping she wouldn't pick the latter.

She thought about it for a while. "I'm not sure." She looked at her watch, and then frowned.

"What's wrong? What time is it?"

"It is 1:40." She answered, and looked down.

"Do you want to go back to school, we still have two hours left?"

"No it is not that. It's just that." She couldn't say it, she lifted her hand up to show him, with the saddest look in her eyes. He was confused at first and then he saw it. She had scratch marks on her hand, and there were scabs from where she had bled. "I do not notice when I do it, it is subconscious. I do not want Anne to see. I do not like her to feel bad, nor would I want her to blame you."

"Is this because of me? What happened a while ago?" He asked hurt.

"No, well I probably have been doing it all day. Anne and Mary kept glancing at my hands. I will admit I was nervous about speaking with you." He winced. "It was not your fault. It is a tick of sorts."

"Will you explain that to Anne? And Hurst? I would not want either of them to harm me."

"Anne would never! Hurst maybe, but never Anne!"

"If she's willing to slap her cousin, I am sure she is willing to slap me. You actually physically hurt yourself in my company."

"What! She slapped Will?" She looked sharply at him, regret passed his face. "She did not tell me," she smiled. "I wish I would have been there to see it! That is so great I am glad." She giggled when John made a shocked face. "Let me clarify," she said seriously. "First, I am glad that she slapped someone in general. Second, when am I ever going to get the chance to see that again? Maybe we should keep her waiting for us at school and turn off our phones?" She said smirking.

"You would not! You know I can carry you, and you cannot get too far away from me in crutches."

She looked affronted, "You would actually manhandle me? You are supposed to be a gentleman." She said giggling.

His eyes turned dark. "I would rather manhandle you than face Anne's wrath." He smirked at her.

She laughed, "She'd probably do it if I asked her to anyways. So I suggest you play nice."

He fidgeted in his seat. She had taken off her blazer and vest. Her button up shirt hugged her upper body. Damn teenage hormones. Then he glanced at her hand, he picked it up and rubbed his thumb over it. "How often do you do this?"

"I honestly do not know. Like I said it is a tick." She said pulling her hand back to look at it. "I might do it every day, maybe only when I'm over feeling. I the only time I realize it is when I see it, or someone points it out. It is called Neurotic excoriations. The repetitive scratching causes lesions. Luckily, though I always cut my nails. I do not let them get long enough, so all I receive are tiny scratches."

Their dessert came. "Dr. Stone tells me that I am cynical, I have my own views and realistic ones of the world. My jumble thoughts and reasoning make me eccentric. Medically speaking of course I have an Anxious Personality Disorder. It causes me to have panic attacks; at times I cannot control my anxiety. That is what the pills are for." She ate some of her cake. He was going over what she just said. "It is a mental disorder. It accounts for my trust issues, I am preoccupied with my own shortcomings and form relationships with others only if I believe I will not be rejected." She just kept looking at her plate, and continued indifferently, "Loss and rejection are too painful and I would rather be alone than risk trying to connect with others, not to mention I am introverted. I am content. Dr. Stone says I have an inability to identify traits within myself that are positive. She believes that my childhood emotional neglect from my parents developed it along with the rejection of my peers."

He started to feel guilty, it was his fault that others did not accept her. He was always the popular guy, everyone always did what he wanted, and followed by his example. She could see him blaming himself. She did not mean to blame him. She understood, he explained himself.

"I believe it has more to do with my parents. And I was already picked on at my first elementary. Lizzie would always protect me, and Jane was like my mom, I'd always go to her. From a very young age, I knew my parents did not love me or each other. I've always felt that life is pain, dark depressing loneliness that eats at your soul. Everyone is taught in books and movies to believe in happy fairytale endings but there is only blackness. I have always felt that I have been a disappointment to my whole family, along with invisible, and unwanted."…. "The pills numb the pain, they helped me build my wall. But I have decided to stop taking them."

"Why the change?"

"The majority 90% of the time I feel nothing. Words do not get to me nor do my emotions." She had to choose her words wisely. It would be foolish to tell him how Will made her feel without him meaning to, when yesterday he made her feel the lowest she had ever been. "Lately the pills have not been helping me. Especially yesterday and today, it is something I am willing to try. Unfortunately I cannot just stop taking them, I would suffer from withdrawals, so Dr. Stone will be lowering my doses, that way if I change my mind it would not be a problem to keep taking them."

"I do not care how much you agree with Darcy. He was wrong, and I know on some level you know that, but your thoughts get the best of you."

She smiled brightly at him and nodded. "Story of my life: I know, but I think too much. I think I like your belief that things happen for a reason. I do not believe it entirely. Before I use to believe that nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, and everyone is going to die. "Mad World" by Tears for Fears would be a constant song playing if my life were a movie." "Yesterday, after the confrontation, I was grateful to have Mary, Anne, Hurst and Dr. Stone. I felt almost as if they were here for me. I do not know what I would do without them. And something good came out of my accident last week, Anne and Hurst are together now, and happy. You started being nice to me, and yesterday I cried." She paused. "Well I actually hated that part, I hate to cry. I hate feeling out of control. But now here we are. Friends."

"I couldn't agree more, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel." He cleared his throat. "So you told all of this to Darcy and he still said those things to you. What an asshat."

She giggled, "That is funny, Asshat! Ha!" She laughed. "I only told him some of what I said here during dessert. I did not explain or go into so much detail, we were at the hospital. He asked about the pills. I forgave him because he gave me an explanation, and I see his logic. What I told you at the park…I have never told anyone. Well Dr. Stone knows about some things." She got serious, "This is going to sound really bad and if you get offended I understand." She stared at him, "Please do not give me a reason to regret opening up to you, I would say it was not easy, but I honestly did not mean to tell you any of it. I was only going to tell you what I told him, and I told you a lot."

He grabbed her hand and held it, stared back at her. "I promise you will not regret it. I feel honored that you opened up to me. Maybe what happened yesterday helped you open up today."

She smiled and agreed. They finished eating and paid, splitting the bill, much to John's disapproval. On the way back to school, he brought up that he had a list of songs he would like to try and she was happy to know he still wanted to perform with her. That he wanted to be friends and spend time with her. They made it in time for last period. After school she met up with Mary, Anne and Hurst, Anne noticed her hand right away, because of the morning. Lexie told Anne and Mary that they would speak to them both later, there was nothing to worry about. John came up to them and he and Lexie headed to his home.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Decided to change things a little once again. Here is Johnathan's POV. Lexie meets his family. Throughout the chapter I mix POVs to keep the story going. Hope it is not too confusing. Enjoy:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice, all rights belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 21

He hated that they had made it in time for last period, but at the same time, he was glad that he had time to process everything she told him. He smiled at the thought that she told him something no one else knew. He felt special, she must have trusted him. But at the same time it was a lot to process. He knew her family was horrible, he had just thought it was because they had no class. His own family was crazy, but they knew how to act in public. But to know that they did not love her, want her, and were embarrassed by her made him angry. With the Bennet's as much as himself. He had always thought that they were a loving family, they always came to her events and school functions. Both her parents always did brag about her. He thought they were just proud of her. He thought she was quiet around them was because she was embarrassed and serious. That the way Hurst spoke of her was the way she was normally. He had always thought she was better than him. She had a loving mother and father, and he had just lost his. She was smarter and younger. His whole view of her was shattered yesterday when she broke down in front of him, and now this. He had always wondered why Hurst never spoke of her family, told him anything about her when he would ask. _Something good is going to happen._ He smiled to himself, destiny had told him to go to the party on Saturday. He had not wanted to go, but Hurst insisted, he needed a 'distraction', but something told him to accept. He had spoken to her and was able to witness what Hurst saw. She was comfortable around him. He hoped she would like his family. His grandfather was away on business, and his grandmother was a sweet lady. She would bond with Lexie, she already loved to watch her play. He hoped that his sister would not embarrass him, and that the $20 dollars he promised his niece to let him play with her later would help.

The bell rang and he made his way outside. She was speaking with Anne and Mary. Anne looked at him, he could see the worry in her eyes. Did she think he would hurt her too? He looked over at Hurst who was saying hi to him as he approached. Hurst handed him Lexie's violin and he said hello to the girls. They said their goodbye's and were soon heading towards his house. They hadn't spoken, she wanted to listen to the CD. He glanced at her, she sat with perfect posture, and was looking out the window. He wanted her to look at him.

"So have you thought of any songs that you would like to play?" He asked.

"I like the ones you suggested. I had not really thought about it. We have until October, I am sure we will find the right one, or the right one will find us." She smiled and looked back out the window.

"Find us?" He asked smirking. She giggled and turned to face him.

"I thought you believed things happen for a reason?" She kept giggling. "I do not listen to the radio, I do not like about 90% of the 'popular' music they play. When I hear it, I give it a chance, then immediately tune it out and play my own music in my head. Sometimes though a song will catch my attention if I want it to or not. It seeps into my brain. It finds me. Unfortunately sometimes, the song is good musically but has horrible lyrics and I find the tune and composition of the song are catchy. Those are the songs that I hate at first, and then later I will be humming it, and then it will be stuck in my head. But I will never place it in my mp3 player." She looked out the window again. "That is how they get you; it's like a commercial jingle….like Oscar Mayer bologna. You know that song taught me how to spell bologna! Ha! It is a funny word. I can't say bologna without sing spelling it in my head." She paused and it looked as if she was doing that very thing. Her facial expressions were priceless. He wished he could lean over and kiss her. "Or theme songs, like who does not know the Love Boat song, or at least the tune." She hummed it and giggled. "Brainwashing! It's amazing how the human mind works. What do you think?'' She looked at him, he could not help but smile widely. Her head was a bit tilted and she looked at him with a small smile.

He looked at her lips. "That you truly are an enigma." He chuckled and smiled smugly when she blushed. "Like you said we have until October, we can look up videos and sheet music for anything. I also have a recording studio, I was hoping to record ourselves."

"Yes that sounds fine. If we are lucky we might be able to get a song or two done every two, three days? So if we cannot find a song we can always go back and listen to the ones we've already played and find one that suits us."

He just nodded all the girls he told about his studio were always impressed. She didn't even flinch at the mention of it. They were pulling up to the gate, and he punched in a code at the gate, he drove up the long driveway, and looked over to watch her reaction. He was disappointed when she did not seem to like it. But he caught a look in her eyes, and a different smile was on her lips. His home was grand, but out of place. Though they could not be seen, his neighbors had more modern houses. His mother however had always loved nature so their house was stone and had larger floor to ceiling windows. There were trees on both sides of the house, and throughout. His parents had moved here after they married, he had a lot of good memories here. His grandparents moved here to raise him and his sister, because they did not want to leave. A couple months ago his older sister had moved back in with them, along with his niece and nephews.

He helped her up the stairs and they entered his house, he was happy that the butler seemed to be busy, and he hoped he could get her to the music room without running into anyone. Fate had other plans, his niece came running up to him with her arms wide open like always yelling his name. But then she noticed Lexie and halted, she looked at him and a big 'o' formed on her lips. She paused to think, and then looked up at Lexie, and came walking up to them.

"Hello, how are you? I am Nicole Parker. It is nice to meet you." She said rehearsed and smiled with a curtsy she was an adorable 6 year old. She looked like his sister, light brown short hair with brown eyes.

"Hello Miss Nicole Parker I am Alexa Bennet. It is nice to meet you." She smiled brightly and tried to curtsy.

"Ooooooooh! _You're _Lexa! You're right Uncle John, she is really really pretty. Why are you holding those weird things?"

He blushed and looked at her, she was still smiling warmly. "These are called crutches. I hurt my foot and these help walk."

"OOOOOO ok. You look funny, but still pretty. Do you think my Uncle John is pretty?"

He looked at Lexie trying to stay composed. He wanted to know what her answer would be. He did not want her to feel like she had to answer. "Ni-

"Thank you, you are very pretty I like your skirt. So how old are you Miss Parker?"

"I'm not Miss Parker silly my mommy is. I am seven." She smiled and held out 6 fingers.

"Nicky, you are six and going to be seven." She just smiled and nodded.

"Can you keep a secret Nicole?" She nodded and got excited. Lexie motioned for her to come next to her and kneeled. She whispered something in Nicole's ear, and he could see her little head nodding with excitement. Then she whispered into Lexie's ear, and she replied. "Ok so pinky promise?"

"Yea!" They pinky promised and Nicole looked like she was the happiest girl in the world. Lexie stood. "Would you like to play tea with me Lexa? Uncle John likes to play with me but he said we had to play later. Please?" She made huge puppy dog eyes.

He was about to answer when his sister came in. She was breast feeding his nephew, and half of her shirt was down and she was in pajama shorts. She looked like she hadn't slept in days and she probably hadn't. The divorce was taking a toll on her and she had a baby to look after. Everyone helped out with her two other children, but the baby would not let her rest, always crying. She looked up when Nicky yelled hi to her, and composed herself.

"Johnny! What are you doing home so early?" She came over, "Mama told you to stop bringing your girlfriends over during school!" She meant to say it low enough for only him to hear, but it was evident by how red Lexie was getting she had heard. He could see that she was clenching her jaw. "Where are my manners?! Hello I'm Jennifer Pa-Drake." She faltered.

"Hello, it is nice to meet you, I'm Alexa Bennet." She smiled shyly and held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you to, so what are you doing home from school?" She asked turning to him.

"Jenny, it is 4 in the afternoon, school is already out. Alexa and I are going to practice a duet for the concert. Remember I told you this morning?" He said a little annoyed.

"Yes, of cou-" She was picking a hand up to her face.

"Nathaniel Parker! You get back here!'' His grandmother could be heard yelling, and as on cue his 4 year old nephew went running past them into another room, throwing his clothes off. His grandmother entered and looked at all of them, Nathaniel forgotten. She saw Alexa and then back down at what she was wearing. She was covered in dirt, she must have been gardening. She held her head up and came up to them. "Alexandra Bennet? Hello, I'm Mrs. Helen Drake, it is nice to finally meet you. You are a very talented violinist. I was happy when John told us you would perform together." She said sweetly.

"Hello Mrs. Drake, it is nice to meet you to. Please call me Alexa." She said reaching to shake her hand.

"Very well, would you like something to drink, how about some cookies, I baked them myself?" She said happily.

"COOKIES!" Nathaniel came running into the hall way in his underwear. The baby started to cry, and his sister excused herself.

"No cookies for you young man." His eyes got watery. "Now go put some clothes on and maybe I'll give you one cookie." She said sternly. He pouted but went to go look for his clothes.

"Can I have a cookie, granny? I'm being a good girl!"

"Yes you may."

"Can I have five then? I need them for my tea party. You're coming right Lexa?"

"You can have five if you behave and let John practice with his friend." She pouted but agreed. "So would you like some cookies Alexa?"

"Not at the moment thank you, but could I have some water?"

"Are you sure you would not like tea or lemonade, our cook Gail is an angel sent from heaven. I can assure you, once you've tasted either you will be hooked."

"Lemonade sounds great thank you." She said.

They made their way to his studio, he was glad he had set everything up, "Sorry about that, my family is a little crazy."

"There is no need to apologize, I liked them. Your niece and nephew are adorable, children are great are they not?" He handed her case to her once she sat.

"Yes they are, I love them very much even though they are a handful. Do you have younger cousins?"

"No, Mary is a year younger than me, and my cousin Josh is a year older. I just like kids in general, they are the best students, eager to learn and they are so innocent, unaware of the evils of the world." She said distantly.

"Students?"

"Yes, our freshman year after the concert, Mrs. Hill introduced me to parents who wanted their child to learn how to play. One thing led to another and I became a tutor. I only tutor 2 kids, the ones who really want to learn and are not forced. I only tutor them until Christmas and then during the summer."

"Why only 2, why not year round?" He was happy to be getting to know her better.

She fidgeted uncomfortably; he worried and hoped she would answer. "If I only teach for a short amount of time, I could only truly devote my time to two kids." She fidgeted, "Their parents pay me….well, so they should get to have my full attention. I use a fraction of my money on Christmas shopping and birthdays. A majority is saved, and I have enough money to pay for the things that _I_ want." She looked a little uncomfortable.

"So what did you make Nicole promise to keep a secret?" He asked changing the subject.

She leaned into his ear and whispered that it was a secret. He felt a tingle down his spine when her breathe hit his ear. She pulled away giggling. "May I know at least what it was about?" She shook her head no. There was a knock on the door, and he told whoever it was to enter. It was his grandma, holding a tray with two glasses and some cookies. She waited until Lexie tried both and was happy that Lexie loved them. She invited Lexie for dinner, Lexie politely declined, and his grandmother mentioned something about using the nice dishes and the dining room, but Lexie explained about her transportation.

"Do not be silly I am sure John, would love to take you home, right John?" She said in a teasing manor.

"No thank you, I could not impose. I do not want to be an inconvenience."

As if on cue Nicole came into the room. "Pretty pretty please stay?" She gave her these huge puppy dog eyes. Who could resist. She agreed. Once they left the room, she texted Mary and her father and they began to practice. The only time they spoke was to talk about the music, hours passed and it was time for dinner. He was happy that everyone was on their best behavior, even Nate.

"Alexa, what are your plans after you graduate?" Asked his grandmother.

"Right now I am in the process of deciding which college I would like to attend. Once I choose, I will most likely stay until the summer ends."

"I assume you will be earning your degree in music?"

"No mam, although I will continue to play, I am going to get my degree in accounting and business."

"I am glad to hear that you will continue to play you truly are a great player."

Lexie thanked her and conversation continued with Nicole talking about her day at school, and what they were going to do tomorrow. After dinner they invited Lexie to stay longer but she insisted that she must get home, but thanked them for the invitation, dinner, and hospitality. On the car ride John asked why she wasn't going for a career in music. "Getting to play the violin was only to help her get to college; it was not supposed to be her life." She explained that her father allowed her to play the violin all these years to help her get into a good school. But that he expressed that it was a silly career and she could not make a life on it. She was allowed to stay a year longer in Silver if she agreed to earn her degree in an acceptable career to which she agreed. He could hear a hint of sadness in her voice. He asked what she meant. He could see her tense, and she asked about what his plans were and he told her that he too would be getting a degree in accounting and business. He did not have a choice, he was going to inherit his family's company and it was expected of him. The sadness in his voice was noticeable and she placed her had on his arm she understood. She asked what he would rather go to school for. He told her he did not know, he had never thought about it before and no one had ever asked him. He had always known what was expected of him, at the same time, he wants to do it because it is what his father would have wanted. She told him that she would like nothing more than to play for a living, but she saw her father's logic and at least he did not choose her career for her. She loved math, it was easy. They got to know each other.

They arrived at her house and she told him to stop at the entrance of the driveway. He was confused but complied. She thanked him and said that she would see him tomorrow. He insisted on walking her to the door, but she refused.

When he got home he asked Nicole what the secret was, she refused to tell him and he promised her 10 more dollars if she did. She went up to his ear and whispered. She just made a bunch of little noises. His face fell, she was smart, now he wouldn't know if she thought he was cute. He knew he was handsome, everyone always told him. But Lexie was not just anyone. "Uncle John, don't be sad, Lexa said that you are pretty when you smile." He looked at her, and asked when. "After she told me the secret, she said. Yes he is very pretty when he smiles." He could not stop smiling, and asked her if she liked Alexa, she said yes and asked when she was coming over again.

* * *

Wednesday:

Will had come up with the perfect plan. Anne told him that she could not help him. Lexie was not a materialistic person so there was nothing he could buy her. Luckily Charlie had decided to take Jane out on a date, but did not want to use the word date. He wanted to go in a group, being too shy to go alone. He asked Will for his advice as to what they could do, Charlie did not want to do the usual movie and diner, he wanted it to be special. Will looked online for activities or events going on around the city. He was happy when he found that an orchestra would be playing in a city two hours away. He knew that Lexie was passionate about music. It did not take much to convince Charlie, he usually did as Will suggested. At lunch Charlie asked Jane if she, Lizzie and Alexa would like to go with him, Darcy and Caroline out on Saturday.

"Why would you want to invite Lexie? You do not even know her." Lizzie asked a little harshly. No one but Jane noticed. She just did not want them to see how Lexie was.

"I know how much she loves music. You were right Jane, she is a very talented player."

"You've seen her play?" Lizzie asked confused.

"Oh, yes Lizzie I forgot to mention that Lexie was at Will's party this weekend. She stayed the weekend at Anne's remember." Jane said. Lizzie nodded, she understood why Jane did not tell her. She told her she did not wish to know, hear, or talk about Darcy. Lexie had not mentioned anything either but that was no surprise she never did.

"Oh yea, happy belated birthday." She mumbled. The corner of his lip twitched slightly and he thanked her. She however declined to go, it was not really her cup of tea to sit and listen to people play their instruments. She found it boring, but did not say so. At the same time she did not want to be in the same place as Darcy and Caroline. She coaxed Charlotte into saying they already had plans. Charlotte later berated her for declining, but at least now they were going to have a sleep over. Will was upset that she would not be going he wanted be around her. He thought about backing out too, but then remembered the reason why he suggested it in the first place.

* * *

"Lizzie, I hope you will change your mind. I am really nervous even though it is not a date, he said to dress formally." Jane told her later at night.

"Jane do not worry you will be fine. Even with Lexie there, I just hope she does not embarrass you and say something wrong."

"All the more reason that you should come."

"Relax, Charlie will be too busy with you, and knowing Caroline, she will be too busy trying to get Darcy's attention. As for Darcy he will be his normal stuck up self and not speak to anyone." She said giggling. "Lexie will be left by herself as always."

"Lizzie! Honestly your mouth is going to get you into trouble one of these days. Do you think Charlie would spend the night speaking with me?"

"Yes, he likes you as much as you like him. Always texting and talking on the phone. If he does not like you then I am convinced he is a great actor."

They heard Lexie enter the house, it was around the time she had started coming home now. Jane called out to her and she came to Jane's doorway. She never came in she would always stand there like she did not want to be in there company.

"Yes Jane?" She stood there.

"Come in." Lexie felt extremely happy. Jane and Lizzie never invited her to their night talks. Maybe they wanted to hang out with her. She came in and sat on the desk chair. She sat down and turned to face her.

"I have a huge favor to ask, Charlie invited us to go out this Saturday, but Lizzie doesn't want to go. Will you please go with me? I am really nervous and it isn't even Saturday." She asked happily.

Lexie was hurt, but did not show it. Of course they did want to talk to her, why would they? "Yes, where will we be going?"

"He told me it was a surprise, but to dress formally."

"Ok, let me know what time we will leave." She stood up and went to her room. She lied down on her bed and listened to her mp3 player. She had been feeling things deeper than she normally would have. She should have known that they did not want to be around her. She did know. _Hope_, she hated that word, that feeling. It only led to disappointment.

Jane was going to say something when Lexie stood to leave, but Lizzie stopped her.

"Jane, it is no use." She said once Lexie left and she heard the door to their room close. "Just be happy that she agreed to go."

"I think that we should invite her to join us. We will all be going away soon, and it would be a good bonding experience. That way we can keep in touch."

"Jane I know you would like to get to know her, but this is for the best. Believe me I know, you cannot see the bad in anything, but I do not want her to put you down Jane. You are too kind and good."

"Lizzie, I know that she told you something that made you sad, but that was a long time ago. Maybe she has changed. She wouldn't have friends if she was sad all the time."

"Jane, Lexie will always be how she is. It's how she has always been. No matter how hard we try. And she only has 3 friends and one of them is family. You know how Mrs. De Bough is, imagine Anne? Probably like her, and Lexie only follows her every command being as quiet as she is."

"Maybe you're right. I just remember when she would come to me when she felt bad. And you use to defend her." Jane said downfallen.

"Yes and I would always be the one who got into trouble."

* * *

Friday:

It was lunchtime, John and Lexie walked outside. He had started spend lunch time with them. Mary was still practicing, and Anne and Hurst would arrive later and later. Lexie had told Anne that she was comfortable around John, and that she and Hurst may take their time. Anne just blushed beet red. They had not arrived yet and she could tell that John seemed anxious, but did not say anything.

"Lexie I was wondering if you had any plans tomorrow night?" He said rushed.

"Yes, Jane asked me to accompany her on a date, because Lizzie did not want to go. Why?"

"Oh my grandfather sent us tickets to an orchestra and I have a spare, I thought you would have liked to go."

She rewarded him with her big smile but then it fell. "I would have loved to go with you, I've always wanted to go, but I already promised Jane."

"You've never been to one?" He asked surprised.

"No my family always chooses to go to the movies, or fairs, carnivals. The only time I've seen others play is when we go to competitions and on YouTube."

He just nodded, he was upset. Maybe if he had asked her earlier, he had wanted to on Monday, but it would have been awkward. They were not friends yet. He was happy that they clicked so well in these past five days. Lexie was upset, she liked spending time with John, though still wasn't as comfortable with him. She enjoyed the time they spent together. They would talk about music, and play music. She had gotten to know his family a little better, and she would stay for dinner. She had even played with Nicole and Nate, she liked them. She felt like she was part of a family. It was weird, it had only been a week. She needed to speak with Dr. Stone. She had emailed her throughout the week, but she needed to speak with her emails were a little impersonal. She felt she could not tell her as much or express as much. Tell her how much had changed.

They were at his house for practice and were taking a break. She was in the kitchen and John had left to help Nate with something. Jenny came in and was looking for something to eat. Noah, the baby had been crying, and Jenny was trying to calm him down and then had to use the restroom. She asked Lexie if could hold him until John or Helen came back. She was handed a screaming crying being and when she cradled him he stopped crying. She smiled at him and he returned it. John came in and saw that Lexie was speaking to Noah. He wanted to laugh because it was as if she was speaking to an adult, but did not want to make his presence known. He was mesmerized by her smile, and the glimmer in her eyes. He pulled out his phone and took a picture. He cleared his throat and she looked up at him, still with that smile.

"I think he likes me! That is so cool, I always wondered what it felt like to hold a baby. He's so tiny but chunky." Her face scrunched up. "I think Noah here just used the restroom."

He laughed and came to get him. He immediately started to cry and was handed back to Lexie, he stopped. Lexie laughed and followed John to change his diaper. She wanted to know how and he taught her how to change one. He liked that she wanted to know everything. She was always asking him questions, about the cello, how the equipment in his studio worked. Before he took her home he went to his room while she spoke with Nicole. He was nervous the whole way. Luckily she was just listening to the music and he was able to keep composed. Before she exited the car he grabbed her arm and handed her a note. She looked at him with a questioning glance, he shrugged and told her not to read it until the morning. She just smiled and accepted it. She thanked him and told him she would see him on Monday.

The next morning she woke up and reached for the note. She was going to read it last night but she decided honor his wishes and wait. Opening it she saw that it was two pages. He had very beautiful handwriting. The first read:

Lexie, I know that we have only known each other for a week, but I am glad to call you my friend. You are a good person. I hope that these words will help you see that. Your friend Jonathan Drake.

She looked at the other page and read it:

Darling, open your eyes. You are not made of those words that hurt you. Or that number on the scale, or the expectations that you feel you will never meet. You are made up of nothing more than you. Simply, beautifully, wonderfully, uniquely you. You are a lovely complex soul. An individually fascinating combination of thoughts, ideas, feelings, emotions. No one is as beautiful as you. Look past the mirror. Look at your soul. Only then will you see yourself as you truly are. Beautiful. So smile! And don't forget to love yourself.

She smiled, and must have read the page 20 times. She got up and ready still with her smile on her face. She did not know how to feel, she just felt happy. She wondered if he wrote it or looked it up. It did not matter to her she still loved that he took the time to write it. She just wanted to place it in her book and give credit to the person who wrote it. Lizzie was up and she asked her if she would like to go walk Aries with her. Her ankle was almost healed and she could not feel the pain, and she knew he needed to get out of the barn. She grabbed a couple of apples she planned take him to the field so he could roam free. Lizzie had not wanted to join her and she decided to ride him. She could tell he did not want to walk, but her head was still healing. She led them to the spot where she had fallen and got off. She descended and fed him an apple. She started to undo the saddle and took everything off. She took of the reigns and clicked her tongue. He took off she sat down and just enjoyed watching him run around. She got her phone out to text Hurst and asked him for John's number, she realized she had not gotten it and wanted to thank him. Just thinking about the letter made her smile. She looked up and saw that Aries was now running beside another horse. It looked like a race almost and then she saw that the rider on the other horse was Will. Her smile dropped, she had to get out of here, she had not expected to see him until tonight around other people. They slowed down and started to walk. She whistled loudly and Aries started to trot towards her. She hoped that Will was not going to go over to her but no such luck. _Disappointment, you'd think I'd be used to it. _Aries approached her and she handed him an apple, and started to put everything back on. Will got off his horse and said hello to her. All she said was hi. He looked at her as she moved quickly to put the saddle on Aries.

"Would you like some help?" He asked. He had wanted to speak with her and could not believe his luck.

She could not be mean to him. She could not be cold. "Although I do not require your help, it would be appreciated and welcomed. Do not think however that I cannot do this on my own." She said without looking at him.

He nodded and placed the saddle on Aries for her, she just kept buckling things, and thanked him. She received a message and thought it was from Hurst. To her surprise it was John. Will was forgotten. He asked Hurst for her number and wanted to see if she had read his note and what she thought about it. She smiled her big smile, and texted him that she loved it, and thanked him. She put her phone away and finished with Aries, her big smile still on her face. She petted Aries, and gave him another apple. She heard Will's horse neigh and he came up to her and nudged her. She giggled and reached into the pouch. She looked at Will for permission and he nodded. She fed his horse and petted him to, giggling when he wanted another.

"What is his name?" She asked still looking at the horse.

"Perses"

"Hello Perses, it is nice to meet, you. This is Aries, Aries, say hello." Aries nodded and neighed. She giggled and gave him a hug. "Good boy!"

She heard footsteps and turned around to see Lizzie jogging towards them. Lizzie saw them and almost tripped. She could not believe her luck, today she had felt like jogging and ended up this far by chance. Darcy was with Lexie she worried what they were talking about, and went up to them. As she got closer she saw that both of them had similar demeanors.

"Lexie, please tell me you did not ride Aries, what about your injury?" She said, it was the first thing that popped into her head.

"No need to actually worry Lizzie, we walked here and then I let him run by himself. We were actually about to leave."

"Oh, I thought that you and Darcy here were riding together."

"Hello Elizabeth, no, I just came upon them, and stopped to say hello." He said he couldn't help but stare at her. She still looked beautiful with her hair the frizziest he had seen it and sweat dripping down her face. Lexie noticed the way he looked at Lizzie, but Lizzie thought that he was critiquing her. She had to warn Lexie away from him.

"I see." She said wiping the sweat from her forehead. "It is good to hear that you are only acquaintances. If you do become friends however I must warn you Lexie that Darcy here has a bad temper and once you get him mad, he will not forgive you." She said in a teasing tone.

Lexie however felt a hint of anger, but pushed it down. Will got angry because it was the worst thing to say right now. He had not spoken to Alexa yet about last week and now Elizabeth was telling her that once he got mad at you that was it he would resent her. Surly Alexa knew though that it was a misunderstanding.

"I thought we had decided that you could not find it within you to make fun of my flaws."

"Oh we did but I am not making fun of them I'm just warning my sister not to make you angry. You do not know each other. I would not want _either_ of you to say the wrong thing. Lexie does not think like we do. And knowing you have something against people who offend you in some way." She said shrugging.

"I believe that everyone has a characteristic that is a natural defect. That not even the best educated can overcome." Darcy said staring at Lizzie.

"Yes, and yours is to hate everyone, if I remember our conversation correctly." She tried to say it harshly but there Lizzie had a way about her that it did not sound harsh at all. She always sounded sweet mischievous.

"And yours is to willfully misunderstand them." He said with a smile.

Perses neighed and Will and Lizzie broke eye contact to look at him. He was standing alone and Lexie could be seen in the sort distance walking next to Aries. Both of them felt bad, neither had noticed that she left. Lizzie was more embarrassed that Lexie would just leave without saying anything, she found it rude. Plus she was now stuck with Darcy. They said there goodbyes awkwardly and each headed home.


	22. Bonus

**A/N: Just wrote this for fun. It is Lexie speaking with Anne and Mary on Monday, after she got home. Enjoy.**

Bonus:

Forward: Annie, Marie

Just got home, IM:)

ALexingtonBee: Hello My lovelies:)

AnneDBough: Finally! Hello!

MaryPhillips: Hi Don't mind Anne, she has been anxious all afternoon. So how did it go?

ALexingtonBee: There is no need to worry, everything is ok. Well…. not everything.

AnneDBough: I knew it! What did that bastard say or do! You know Hurst will take care of him right?

ALexingtonBee: Anne you should be a mob boss! LOL. Though I wish I could say he did do something, it would only be to watch you slap him;)

AnneDBough: Lexie, the reason I did not tell you is because I knew you would disapprove. Do you forgive me?

ALexingtonBee: Always, you should know better, no need to explain. I just wish I would have been there to see it!

MarryPhillips: Good to know that you _are_ angry with Darcy and don't forgive him.

AnneDBough: I agree, you forgave him too easily, I still do not forgive him.

ALexingtonBee: I actually do forgive him. I realized as I was speaking with John that I did not really explain anything to Will. I just answered his questions honestly. When I spoke with John I went into more detail. I believe he understood, he wants to be my friend. I met his family and they invited me to stay for dinner.

ALexingtonBee: I just wish I had seen you actually slap someone. Tell me was this a once in a lifetime thing, or will I have the privilege of witnessing it again?

MaryPhillips: I would say that it will happen sometime further into the future. I wish I had seen it too. Hurst said it was amazing to see.

AnneDBough: Perhaps someone will make me angry enough and you will be fortunate enough to see:)

ALexingtonBee: Would it be wrong to say John did say something bad?

MaryPhillips: Yes it would, there would be nothing to fuel Anne's wrath, it would not be the same:D

ALexingtonBee: Very true, I suppose we will just have to wait:(

MaryPhillips: So... when did Jonathan become John?

ALexingtonBee: Today, it was strange I felt comfortable around him. Not at all like with you guys, but IDK. I think we will be great friends. All of us:)

MaryPhillips: Lexie…..are you sure you did the right thing in telling him. We are talking about Johnathan Drake, and you have never been his favorite person. I only mention this because of your hand. I do not like to see you hurt yourself.

AnneDBough: Sorry, I am also texting Hurst:) But I agree with Mary, Lexie. I am worried that you will not be able to bounce back if something bad were to happen again.

MaryPhillips: Please do not be angry with us Lexie, we only have your best interest at heart and we never say anything, we leave you to yourself and I am worried that we have done the wrong thing by not speaking with you.

MaryPhillips: Lexie?

AnneDBough: You know we will be here for you always and forever. No matter what even if the worst was to happen. I agree with Mary, I too wish we had taken the time to speak with you instead of leaving you to your thoughts.

ALexingtonBee: You know I love you both very much. I know you both love me very much. My burdens are my own. You know I cannot control when I scratch myself, I was just nervous, nothing else. John is a good man.

AnneDBough: Yes you also thought that of William:(

AnneDBough: I am sorry! Like I said I still do not forgive him. But I will respect your decision.

MaryPhillips: As do I. But can you please try to let us in more? I only ask because I felt so bad that I let you go off on your own. Had I followed you, had I done something different. Maybe just maybe nothing bad would have happened.

ALexingtonBee: John told me that he believed things happen for a reason. Though I do not believe it, I do see his logic. Example: Anne slapped someone!

MaryPhillips: Do not do that Lexie. You cried, like actually cried. Hurst said that you must have cried for about an hour. You were so exhausted…...When John came in with you asleep in his arms; Lexie you should have seen yourself...I almost thought... I knew it was my fault.

ALexingtonBee: Mary, please do not blame yourself, although I hated to cry. I believe it helped me, I felt like I could breathe more. John suggested that maybe what happened yesterday helped me open up to him. Maybe it will help me to open up more in general.

AnneDBough: Well I am glad you feel that way. I guess we will play it by ear.

MaryPhillips: Yes, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

ALexingtonBee: A very long tunnel dark tunnel… I love you guys, I do not know where or who I would be without you. I do not believe things happen for a reason. But I no longer believe that people have no purpose, you guys and Hurst mean the world to me, you are here for me; you are my family. That sounds selfish but, that is how I feel. If I believed in G-d I would thank him for you.

AnneDBough: We love you very much. I feel exactly the same way you do. You do have a purpose on this earth. You are here for me and I know Hurst and Mary feel the same.

MaryPhillips: Yes I do. Love you cousin! You are special, you are important, you are loved. Always remember that Lexie. You matter!

Lexie felt tears threating to escape. She would try, try for them to open up next time whenever that would be. She felt bad that they felt that they should have tried. They did try, they always use to try on the rare occasion when she needed to be alone around them. She would try. She owed them that much. They would not run from her, they would not reject her. They would support her like always. Or maybe she would infect them. She would make them feel worse if she told them how she felt. The hurt she felt. They already blamed themselves for what happened and they did nothing wrong. _No_. She would try, and if they were willing to hear more she would allow them. She thought about John. He wanted to be her friend. He wanted to spend time with her. Maybe just maybe things happen for a reason. But she could not bring herself to agree. She had yet to see it. Everyone was a mindless zombie. No that was not true. She hated thinking. She overthought that was her problem. She lived with demons, almost like voices. But they did not tell her to do things. It was just her. She could talk to them right now. Just open up. But not over IM, not over the phone. But tomorrow these feeling would be gone. There was no point. They said goodbye, goodnight, and that they would see each other tomorrow.


	23. Chapter 22

**A/N: I just want to thank you guys who are following my story, and post reviews. Sorry I have not time to reply to them. A lot of you have mentioned Lizzie being OOC and you might hate me for the opening of this chapter. I feel though it is just how she deals with Lexie. She has good intentions though. I guess I got the idea to write her this way from another fanfic story where I thought Lizzie was being a snobby b***, and Darcy was a good guy. **

**But huge thanks, it makes me excited and I want to keep posting so I wrote this chapter on my day off. Hope you enjoy! I will try to post at the end of this week or sooner. I will be going out of town this weekend.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice, all rights belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 22

"Lexie, why would you just leave like that?" Lizzie said catching up with Lexie.

"Like what Lizzie?" She asked innocently.

"Without saying something, it was very rude and now Darcy is going to think badly about us. More than he already does." She said a little annoyed.

"What I find quiet rude is being spoken for. You did not even notice I left, so I do not understand the problem."

"The problem is that Darcy doesn't like us, and doesn't need any more reason to add to his dislike. I'm only trying to protect you."

"Sounds like a personal problem to me. I do not care if he likes me or not. If he doesn't like me anything I do will only add to it."

"Well what about Jane, don't you want her and Charlie to get together?"

"If that is what both of them want yes. If only one wants to, it is not fair to the other person, is it? What does Will have to do with Jane and Charles?"

"They are only best friends; you know he said that forcing someone to do something is good if they have good intentions, imagine if he convinced Charlie not to date Jane?"

Lexie got angry, but didn't show it. _You mean like father. _What was wrong with her lately, why was she letting her feelings get to her? She needed to speak with Dr. Stone and soon. Maybe she could shed some light on what was happening. "What does that say about Charles then?"

"Lexie!" She pleaded. "Jane really likes Charlie a lot, and anyone with eyes could tell you that Charlie really likes Jane. Well except for Jane. The point is, they don't know you so you could pretend to be someone else." Lizzie blurted out and Lexie stumbled. "You know I don't mean that in a bad way, you do understand what I mean right?" She asked worriedly. Jane was right her mouth would get her into trouble.

"Yes, just because they know about the pills, does not mean that they know my personality. So if I am 'normal' or socially acceptable they would not know there was anything wrong with me." She said nonchalantly.

"Lexie!" Lizzie she said somewhat annoyed and grabbed her by the arm halting her. "That is what I'm talking about, when you say things like that. You know I did not mean it in a bad way!" She said angrily.

"Did I sound hurt Lizzie? Was that not what you meant?" Lexie said apathetically.

"Yes, but the way you say it makes me sound horrible. You know I didn't mean it in a bad way. I was just letting you know that you could have a chance to bond with Jane. You two will be going to college soon and she would like to get know you."

"I see. Very well then I will watch what I say." She understood, she would infect Jane; Lizzie believed it herself. "My ankle is a little stiff; I'm going to ride Aries back. Would you like for us to walk with you?"

"No I'm gonna jog back. I'll see you there." She said and took off.

Lexie stopped and pulled out the folded up paper she had in her pocket. Although she had memorized the contents, and knew the words by heart, she bought it in case her thoughts got the better of her. A physical reminder, she carefully unfolded it and read the words over and over again. Until Aries got restless, she gave him another apple, folded the paper and placed it back in her pocket. She got on Aries and went back to the house smiling.

She entered the house ignoring everyone, and went into her room. She got out her phone and texted John.

*Thank you again for the poem. It really helped today. You are a great friend*

John: *I am glad that it helped, would you like to talk about it?* He texted back imminently.

She thought about it. Which she found strange, she never spoke about anything that got to her. She concluded she must have wanted to talk about it. The question was to whom? _Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger._ John was technically a stranger, compared to Anne, Mary, Hurst and Dr. Stone. But she did not want to hurt her friends feelings by not going to them with a problem first. They would understand. She knew they would. Then again she did not want to do it through technology which was strange since when did she care. It was better, more impersonal. Isn't that what she wanted, what she aimed for in life.

*I would but not over the phone, by the time I see anyone. The feelings will have passed*

John: *What about IM? Phone call? Skype?* He wanted to be there for her.

*IM is too impersonal for me right now. I do not like to speak on the phone; one cannot see the other person. And I have never tried skype. But I am at my house and I do not want anyone to overhear me*

John: *I could go pick you up and we can go somewhere if you like*

*That would be a waste of gas:) But no, I have no doubt that Rose will come soon to tell me to get ready for Jane's date*

John: *I would not mind at all. What time is the date?*

*We will be leaving at 4*

John: *That's about 6 hours away!*

*Yes I know*

John: *How long does it take you to get ready?* Surly she was not so vain.

*Depends*

John: *On?*

*22 min to shower, brush my teeth, and comb my hair. But then I still have to style it. Then I will choose a dress that I would like to wear, and Rose will make me change an infinite number of times until she realizes that nothing will do except the original dress I had on. Rarely will she make a different decision so who knows*

John: *One would think you are the one who has a date* He was nervous that she actually was going on a double date. What if she liked the other guy?

*No, I'm just a spare, as I mentioned Lizzie did not want to go. Rose will only fuss over me until I hear "It will just have to do." Then I'm free*

John: *So you have to endure being in the presence of a complete stranger just so your sister may go on a date?*

*No I have to endure the presence of Will Darcy, Charles, and his sister Caroline I believe.*

It took him a while to text back. He needed time to process, did she like Will. Why else would she agree to go on a date with them? After what happened on Sunday, is that why she finally cried. The guy she liked hurt her feelings?

John: *Why would you agree to go on a date, knowing Will was going to be there?* He asked bravely.

*Jane asked me, she needed me. I never get to spend time with her, though I doubt I will tonight anyways. As for knowing about Will, I would have had to face him sooner or later. I actually saw him this morning, he is our neighbor. I cannot hide from him forever*

John: *Is he the reason for your trouble today?*

*No, not directly. I have to go, I can hear Rose from up here yelling at Jane, I'm next*

*Thank you again, and thank you for listening to my woes *

John: *You are welcome, I'm always here if you ever want to speak with someone*

*Glad to know, I will see you on Monday*

She got ready and as usual she had to change several times, but was ready by 1. She ended up wearing a black long sleeve dress that hugged her body, and was mid-thigh. It looked like a sweater that was wrapped around her, and had a buckle on the side. She made a half ponytail and made a bump. Then she took strands from opposite ends and crossed them. She put on eyeliner and mascara, and decided to use the eye shadow Dr. Stone had included in her make up kit, and put on cherry lip-gloss. She wore black flats, and had a small clutch. She stayed in her room and sent a short email to Dr. Stone. Asking her when they would be able to meet. She replied that tomorrow would be a good day, around 2. Lexie texted Hurst and Anne to see what they would be doing, they both replied that they would be together. They asked Lexie why and she mentioned she needed a ride. Both replied that they would not mind taking her. Lexie knew that they would not, and she would like to talk to them both but didn't want to interrupt their time together. She thought of John and texted him. He said he would not mind giving her a ride. She said yes to Dr. Stone, and told Anne and Hurst that she had found a ride. To kill time she looked up the orchestra that John had invited her to. They were amazing and would have loved to go. She remembered what Lizzie said and decided that she would try to be normal. She did want to form some type of bond with Jane. Maybe this would help. She finished her homework and looked up songs that she would like to practice with John. Soon it was 3 and Rose called her downstairs. She gave her the same talk that Lizzie had given her, but was not so kind. She said nothing and agreed.

The doorbell rang, she, Jane and Rose went to answer it. Charlie was standing there looking nervous until he saw Jane. She was wearing a long flowing baby blue dress and her hair was in a loose bun. She looked like a model. Lizzie came to say hi to Charlie and asked where everyone else was. He replied that they were in the car waiting. Lizzie thought it was a bit rude, they were too important to get down and say hello. He told Rose that they would be back before midnight and she responded whenever would be fine. Just to be careful and have fun. As they were walking out the door Rose grabbed her by the arm tightly and told her to remember what she said and pretend to have something to smile about.

* * *

Will decided to wait in the car, not wanting to get down and have to be in the presence of the Bennet's. He was glad that Caroline had decided not to join them. As soon as she heard that Lizzie would not be going she declined to go. She knew that Will would not converse with Alexa, thinking he was just going to keep Charlie company. Will would make sure to occupy his time and not let him and Jane be left alone. She honestly did not want to go watch people play there instruments. Will was happy he would have a chance to speak with Alexa. Charlie would no doubt be in deep conversation with Jane. He saw them walking up to the car. Charlie had a huge grin plastered on his face as did Jane. She truly was very beautiful, she looked like she should be walking down a runway, and her baby blue dress went with her skin well and brought out the blue in her eyes. He looked at Alexa who was walking behind them. He held in his breathe. The dress hugged her body perfectly, and he could see her curves. Her hair was down, she looked beautiful, with the exception of her fake smile. She was going to sit in the back but Charlie opened the front door for her. She was clearly upset but just thanked him and smiled. She got into the passenger seat and buckled. She said hi to Will without looking at him. He told her high and asked her how she was doing.

"I'm doing great! How are you?" She said too cheerfully. _Ugh that felt so wrong._ She thought, normal. He looked at her, she was lying he thought that she would have been excited to go to see an orchestra maybe it was being in his presence.

"I am good." He cleared his throat. "Are you excited about The Orchestra?" He asked hopefully.

She snapped up to look at him. She smiled and it spread to her big smile, and her eyes twinkled with excitement. "We are going to see The Orchestra that is playing in Park County?" She asked happily.

"Yes did Jane not mention it?"

"No, I am sorry Lexie; I thought it would be a nice surprise. I can tell by your smile that I was right." Jane said.

"Oh yes, very nice surprise. I was saddened when I lost the opportunity to go. But now I am very happy! You know I've always wanted to see one! This is great!" She could not stop smiling; she was going to get to go after all.

"Lost the opportunity? What do you mean?" Charlie asked.

"Oh John invited me to go with him, but Jane had asked me to accompany her first."

"John?" Jane asked.

Lexie tensed, she did not want anyone in her family to know. They would over react; everyone in town knew who the Drakes were. "Yes, a friend from school."

"Oh, well that was nice of him." Jane said sounding hurt. "Why have we not met him? We've met Hurst and Anne?"

"He is a new friend," was all she said.

Charlie's phone rang. He told Will to return home, that Caroline had decided to join them at the last minute, and seeing as they had yet to leave the neighborhood. Will got frustrated, and stated that they would not wait more than five minutes for her. Charlie agreed, and called Caroline to relay the message. Caroline was already dressed and ready when they got there. She always had her hair and makeup done, all she had needed to do was change. After Will and Charlie had left, Louisiana was surprised to see that she did not have the house to herself. She was planning on it. She had met a guy at school, and invited him over. She mentioned to Caroline that although Alexa was plain, she looked very pretty when she tried. She also mentioned that she was friends with Anne, and was already liked by Mrs. De Bough. Also knowing Will, he probably would find something to talk with Alexa about. Things happen. It did the trick, Caroline ran upstairs and changed quickly.

When Caroline came to the car she noticed that Alexa was in the front seat with Will, and that she was smiling. She was upset, she should be sitting in the front. It was Charlie's car after all, now she had to sit in the back with Charlie and Jane.

"So what kinds of music do you guys like?" Lexie asked thinking of something normal.

"I like just about anything." Charlie answered and Jane agreed.

Will said he did not really listen to anything, he preferred to read, but classical.

"I like anything you can dance to, like Britney Spears, and Justin Timberlake, The Black Eyed Peas." Caroline said. "Let me guess, you like classical music?" She said with a small sneer.

"Although I do love classical music, I listen to all types of music. My favorite 20 bands are all different genres. I find it impossible to like one genre there are so many wonderful artists out there. But I suppose I somewhat dislike the type of artists you like Caroline. Though I would not know I do not listen to the radio."

"What are some of your favorite bands?" Charlie asked.

"In no particular order: The Doors, The Chariot, The Black Keys, The Dresden Dolls, Joy Division, Radio Head and Thom Yorke The Eraser-great album. Block Party, Regina Spektor, The Beatles, Tool, The Kinks, Mos Def, Wu-Tang Clan, Saul Williams, the list just goes on." She said happily.

"I've never heard of a majority of those bands." Caroline said with a hint of smugness. Lexie just smiled brightly.

Caroline dictated the radio station and Lexie just looked out the window. Charlie and Jane lost in their own world with Caroline interrupting it every now and then. Will just drove; he could not speak with Alexa anymore, and he had a feeling that Caroline would just make snide comments to make her feel bad. After two rest stops, and two hours of practical silence they made it. He would casually glance towards Alexa, but she just kept looking out the window. Caroline noticed, she got jealous; Will always avoided looking in her direction.

* * *

"Alexandra don't you own a pair of high heels. All I've seen you in are flats, are high heels too hard to walk in for you?" She said condescendingly. She had seen the dress Alexa wore and was a bit jealous of her curves. She had seen how Will looked at her when they walking to the auditorium.

"Well yes of course, my ankle still gets a tad sore. I fear that if I had worn a pair of high heels I would be stuck in crutches for another week." She said unaffected. "I do not believe they are hard to walk in, but I am afraid they are not as high as yours, I would fall in your shoes.'' She said looking at Caroline's six inch heels. Caroline just gave her a small smile, she would have to try harder to get under her skin and show everyone how Lexie was.

As they approached Lexie heard a familiar voice yell her name. "LEXA!" She looked around and saw Nicole leading John by the hand towards Lexie and her group. John had seen them walking up, he stood glued to the floor, the dress she was wearing showed off her body. Her perfect posture showing off the curve of her lower back, her hourglass figure, it was doing things to him. He really hoped that dress was not for Will. Nicole had noticed that his attention was elsewhere and looked in his direction, and started pulling him. When she turned to look at them, the way her eyes lit up, and her smile, he wished he had a camera. He could not believe his luck. She waved at them, and greeted them warmly.

"Lexa!" Nicole gave her a hug around her waist.

"Miss Parker! How are you?" She said teasingly, it was something they did. She really liked the cute way she said Lexa.

Nicole giggled. "I am well, thank you." She curtsied and giggled when Lexie curtsied. "Uncle John said you weren't coming did you change your mind?" She asked her voice full of happiness and hope.

Lexie's smile faded from her eyes, a pained looked crossed her face. Everyone but Caroline noticed. She still kept her smile, she wished she wasn't wearing this dress right now. She wanted to kneel down but couldn't. John understood, and kneeled to Nicky's eye level.

"Nicky-" He said sadly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, _her hand_, then she knelt while supporting herself on him and pointed her knees towards him. "Nicky, I wish I had come with you, but I came with my sister and her friends." Nicky pouted. "Would you like to meet her? She is really nice." She gave her a smile. Nicky nodded and extended her hand.

"Miss Nicole Parker, this is Miss Jane Bennet. She is my older, but beautiful sister. Jane this is Nicole."

"It is nice to meet you Miss Jane." She curtsied.

"Hi Nicole, it is nice to meet you too. I like your dress, it is very pretty."

"Thank you! I like your dress, you look like a angel."

"Thank you."

Lexie looked behind her and reached out her other hand towards John and smiled at him. She whispered and asked if he would like to meet her sister. Jane noticed and thought that they might be more than friends.

"Jane this is my friend Johnathan Drake, he is Miss Parker's uncle." Nicky giggled.

"Hello Jane it is nice to meet you. Hello Charles, Caroline, and Fitzwilliam." Nicky laughed.

"Please call me William, Fitzwilliam is a family name." Will said annoyed.

"So you're not gonna sit with us Lexa? We still have your ticket."

"No I'm sorry, I can't but I am happy that I saw you, and I will see you on Monday ok? We can have a tea party. Pinky promise."

"Ok!" She said happily.

"We still need to buy my ticket." Caroline said hintingly. She might not be able to sit with her group but she would not mind being in John's company.

"Oo oo oo! Lexa you can sit with us and she can sit where you're gonna sit! Right Uncle?"

"Yes, that is a great idea! Save your money. What do you say Lexie, we are in the first balcony the sound and view are amazing. I know my grandmother would love for you to join us." He smiled. _He is really cute when he smiles. _Lexie thought and wondered where that thought came from.

"I would love to go say hi to your grandmother, but I am afraid I must decline your invitation. I came with my sister and her friends."

"We do not mind Alexa, really." Charlie said. Lexie looked unsure, what would be the right thing to do she wondered. "It saves us having to buy a ticket for Caroline, because she came last minute." He said reassuringly.

"Only if everyone does not mind, it is a big deal to me that you would invite me, even though Lizzie di-was not able to come."

Caroline was the first to let her go, she could have Will to herself. Jane agreed, she had seen how they made Lexie happy. Will had seen this to, she seemed to glow and he reluctantly agreed. The whole point of coming here was to make up for his harsh words. She rewarded all of them with her smile. Jane was happy to see Lexie smile; she never got to see Lexie happy. Lexie thanked them all and parted ways. Mrs. Drake was very happy to see her there.

She said hello to his grandma and they made their way to the seats. His grandmother sat in one corner first and Lexie not wanting to sit in between the family went to the other corner. Nicky was going to sit next to Lexie but her grandma told her to sit next to her. Nicky pouted and asked her uncle if she could sit between the two women. He did not care; he was going to sit next to Lexie.

"You look very beautiful tonight, was this your first choice or did Rose choose it for you?"

"Thank you," she blushed. "This was my first choice, but I did have to change several times."

"Is looks brand new, like you've never worn it before."

"It is new in the sense that it is the first time I wear it, but I bought it a while ago. It was a great price and Anne and Mary convinced me to buy it. I just never had the confidence to where it."

"Would the boost of confidence have anything to do with a guy?" He asked boldly. He didn't want to know but at the same time, he wanted to know if she liked Will.

"Yes, I believe it does." She gave him her bright smile, he returned it but it did not reach his eyes. She sensed something was wrong and opened her clutch pulling out a folded paper. She handed it to him and gave him an encouraging nod. He opened it and saw his handwriting. She giggled when he smiled wide, and grinned at her. "Thank you." She said.

Lexie was enchanted by the performance, she was practically siting at the edge of her chair. Huge smile plastered on her face and her eyes twinkling, she was glowing and radiating happiness. She was too preoccupied to notice that John spent a majority of his time looking at her. Will kept glancing up at them and noticed. At the beginning of each song she would get giddy and look at John, and at the end of each she clapped as if it were the best song ever. John wished he could reach out and touch her. At the end of the concert, she hugged him tightly and thanked him, along with his grandma and Nicky. His grandma went to speak with a friend she saw and they made their way to where Jane agreed to meet. Will saw them walking towards them, and noticed that John had his hand on Lexie's lower back. Lexie was glowing, came and hugged Jane tightly along with Charlie, Caroline and Will and thanked them all. She turned her attention back to John and Nicky.

Will was stunned he looked at everyone else and figured that they felt the same. When she hugged him he felt warmth, a strange but great feeling, and felt the loss when she pulled away. Even Caroline looked effected by it. Jane had tears in her eyes, but composed herself and went to hug Lexie again. He watched as she held on to Lexie, as if they had not seen each other in years.

* * *

"Are you even allowed near the knives Alexa?" Caroline asked when Alexa picked up a knife to cut her steak. She hated the way that both John and Will had looked at Alexa. She was not nearly as pretty as Caroline was, she was plain, and took pills for depression. What was special about her? Everyone looked at her shocked but Lexie. She had heard her but was too happy thinking about the concert.

"Yes, I am not suicidal. Though I am sorry if I gave off that impression," she paused, "for the life of me I cannot recall engaging in a conversation with you long enough to form an opinion of _you _or you of me." Lexie said nonchalantly

"Aren't people who are depressed suicidal?" Caroline sneered.

"Not that I know of, I am afraid I do not know anyone who is depressed. I would call anyone who says they have never been depressed or sad a liar though." Lexie said.

"Are you saying that you're not depressed? Isn't that why you take pills?"

"My feelings are my own burden to carry, so do not feel offended if I do not answer." She took a sip of tea. "However I find there is a difference in wanting to die and not caring if you die. Do I want to die? No, but it is inevitable everyone dies."

"Did you enjoyed the concert Alexa, did you hear any favorites?'' Charlie asked nervously trying to change the topic.

"Asking me to choose one song would be impossible, they were all amazing." She said happily.

"I don't know I found several songs to be depressing." Caroline said.

"That is the beauty of music! It makes you feeling emotions you never knew existed, felt, or feel normally. I find it is a beautiful sadness, though if that makes any sense."

"Of course it does, I am sure all you feel is sadness." Caroline said without thinking. Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at her.

"Caroline!" Charlie hissed.

Lexie snapped, she tried, she did. Had she done something to make them think she was different? To make her disliked? "Have I done something to earn this hostility Caroline? Have I offended you in some way?" Lexie asked. "We are not friends what does it matter to you how I feel? Does it make you feel better about yourself to put others down?" She said resisting the urge to grab the knife and throw it at her. _That is a new emotion._

"I-" Caroline started.

"You may be beautiful on the outside but you want to know something, beauty does not last. It does not matter, what matters is the type of person you are on the inside, and you are ugly!" Lexie said and then she snapped back, when Caroline gasped. Lexie felt sick, she couldn't bring herself to look at anyone. _What just happened?_ "Please excuse me I do not know what came over me. Jane I will see you at the house. Charles, Will and Caroline, thank you for the invitation. Enjoy the rest of your night." She said pulling $25 from her purse, placed it on the table and took off.

Everyone was too shocked to move, and Caroline had the audacity to feel offended. Jane looked embarrassed and apologized to Caroline for Lexie; she just didn't want any bad feelings from anyone. Will finding it hard to keep his temper, went after her. She was outside the restaurant and walking away. He ran up to her and heard her on the phone; her voice glittered with fake happiness.

"John!" - "Yes, hello," she giggled. "I am sorry to be a bother, but if you have not left town yet, could I trouble you for a ride back to the city? Perhaps drop me off at Anne's?"- "It's a long story."- "Yes-yes-ok I promise to tell you." - "I am walking to a bus stop." - "Lincoln and um Park Ave." - "Yes I promise to wait here and not move," she giggled again. "Ok thank you so much!" - "Yes I promise I am fine, do not rush." - "Ok bye." She made her way to the bus stop and sat, pulling out John's letter. It did not bring her comfort, she was a horrible person. She was no better than Caroline. How could she call her an ugly person? Though it was true, she still had no right.

Will walked up to her and she placed the letter in her purse. "I am sorry I did not mean to ruin the night. Is-is Jane upset with me?" She asked quietly.

"No she is not; no one is upset with you. Well Caroline is but what does that matter she upset you?"

"It does not matter how she made _me_ feel, I should not have said that to her. I am a horrible person; everyone has flaws, who am I to point them out. Please do not hold Jane accountable for my words or actions." She said thinking about what Lizzie said. "She is the nicest, kindest, sweetest person you will ever meet. We are polar opposites. I promise."

"Please come back in, we will go home now if you like. Do not let Caroline get to you."

"_Home." _She said in a whisper. "I am afraid John is already on his way for me. He said he would be here in a couple of minutes. As for Caroline getting to me that ship has sailed and sunk. I find I cannot face her. Though I am sorry for what I said, I cannot find it in me to apologize. Later yes, but not now, not while these emotions are fresh. They will pass though they always do."

"I will wait here with you until he gets here." He said and Lexie just nodded.

"Will you let Jane know that I will be going to Anne's, and that I am safe? I do not want her to worry."

Will just nodded, he would tell Jane but he was upset that Jane apologized to Caroline, and that Alexa felt like she should to. If anything Caroline should be the one apologizing to her.

"Why are you going to Anne's you said that you were going home."

"I am going home. Home is where the heart is, I need Anne right now. Besides I cannot deal with Rose right now, once she hears about this it will be all she will talk about. I need to control myself, need to keep my feelings in check. I would not want a repeat of what just happened." She said distantly, looking lost.

Will could not help but admire her. Not many people would have told Caroline anything, and just deal with her. It seemed like everyone did that in Caroline's presence, just leave her be. Even now looking down at her, she showed no signs that she was upset at all. Her posture perfect, showing no emotions in her face, but her eyes, her eyes betrayed her. She had mercy on him, on Sunday. She did not call him an ugly person, which is how he felt.

"I never got to speak with you about this Sunday. I am very sorry; I was hoping that coming to the concert would make up for it."

"What do you mean? I was only invited because Lizzie could not come."

"No, Charlie wanted to go out as a group and I suggested inviting you. I had been trying to find a way to apologize, and make you happy. Then I found this event."

"Really?" She smiled at him, "Thank you Will, that was very sweet." She said placing a hand on his arm. "Though not necessary, as I said I forgive you. I know that you were sincere in your apology. You are a good person; I can see it in your eyes." She said staring at him.

As he looked into her eyes, he felt a strange feeling, and leaned in towards her. There was a beep and she reached into her clutch. "John will be here in about five minutes. You can go back, I am sure your food is getting cold." She told him.

"I actually lost my appetite. Here," he handed her back her money. "There is no need to pay, we invited you out."

She did not accept it. "Yes, and I let a perfectly good meal go to waste, while there are people starving out there."

"Really it is not necessary, believe me."

"I know it is not, but my pride will not allow it. Use it as part of the tip, if my calculations are correct it is $10 shy."

A limo was pulling up to the curb and John stepped out frowning. Lexie smiled got up and thanked Will for waiting with her. She shook his hand, and he watched as she made her way towards John with open arms and gave him a tight hug. Will made his way back to the restaurant, once he got back to the table, Jane asked where Lexie was. He told her that John came and picked her up, and that she would be staying at Anne's. The others finished there dinner and he waited. On the way back Caroline sat in the front with him. She couldn't stop talking about how rude Alexa had been, and suggested to him that he should speak with his aunt about her behavior. They dropped Jane off and went home. He decided to write an email to Gina and Richard, he needed something to take his mind off of today.


	24. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hi, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I don't know when I'll be posting again so I ended this chapter in a happy note. Enjoy, and thank you to those who read, follow, fav. and review, it means a lot. **

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 23

Lizzie had made her way to Charlotte's a while after Jane and Lexie had left. She had heard her mother telling Lexie to make a good impression and be normal. As soon as they left she was berated for not going to make sure that Lexie behaved and acted normal. "If anything bad happens it will be on you for not going. Lexie will surely put a damper on the whole evening…... You could have gone to Charlotte's anytime, how often do you get to go to a different town and see a concert?... They are rich; surely they were going to a nice restaurant afterwards."

She hoped that nothing bad would happen, after her mother talked to her she realized that she did have a point. Lexie was Lexie after all, but she said that she would watch what she said. When she got to Charlotte's she was asked again why she didn't want to go. If the roles had been reversed she would have gone.

"A free concert and dinner in a different city, you'd be crazy not to go. Even if Caroline was there."

"And Darcy," Lizzie reminded her.

"Lizzie I don't know why you keep insisting that Darcy is bad. So he called you ugly why do you care? You don't like him anyways."

"He called me barley tolerable, thank you very much. Not to mention he insinuated that I couldn't get a partner. He hurt my pride Char, plus he's a total snob. You know he's always looking at me with this look on his face. Ugh I can't stand it. Plus the only time we talk, we end up arguing. The only reason I hate him is because he hates me for no reason. I never did anything to the guy."

"You know what they say; there is a thin line between love and hate."

"What delusional world are you living in Char? Darcy hates me period. I just hope that Lexie doesn't do anything to add to it." She let out long sigh. "Who am I kidding, I should have gone. You know how she is."

"Lizzie, just because Lexie is one way around the house doesn't mean that's how she is all the time. Take Maria for example, perfect little angel according to my mom. We both know that's soo not true."

"Speaking of the devil, where is she?" Lizzie asked, she didn't want to talk about Lexie, she never did.

* * *

Jane: *Hey LizBear, are you still up?*

*Of course, you know Char and I can party all night LOL. So how did it go? Did Lexie behave?*

*Everything was great until dinner*

"I'm calling Jane, on speaker."

"Lizzie?"

"Hey Jane your on speaker!" Lizzie said.

"Hey Jane, so how did it go?" Charlotte asked.

"Hey Char, hey Lizzie. Well everything was going good until we got to dinner."

"Start from the beginning."

"Well we were sitting down and our food came. Lexie got a steak and when she was cutting it Caroline asked her if she was allowed near knives."

"That bitch!"

"Charlotte!" Lizzie said, "Was Lexie acting like her usual self?"

"It doesn't matter how Lexie was behaving Liz, Caroline had no right to say that." Charlotte said.

"No she was actually smiling Lizzie, smiling. She even hugged me, but no, she didn't do anything and Caroline just kept picking at her. Lexie just told her that she wasn't suicidal, but she was sorry if she gave off that impression and Caroline was like aren't people who are depressed suicidal, and Lexie said she didn't know anyone who was depressed. And then Caroline asked her if she wasn't depressed and isn't that why she took pills. Lexie didn't answer her directly. Then Charlie tried changing the topic to the concert, he's really sweet and nice. He held my hand throughout the concert and in the car we were talking to each other, sitting close because Caroline pushed me to the middle." She said softly and stopped talking.

"Jane are you still there?" Lizzie said trying not to laugh.

"Oh yea, where was I?"

"Charlie said something about the concert."

"Oh yea, and Lexie said it was hard to chose a favorite song, and Caroline said some songs were depressing. Lexie said that, that was the beauty of music. It makes you feel things, and that it was a beautiful sadness. Then it happened. Caroline said that she must be sad all the time."

"Gasps…told you bitch."

"Lizzie there are no words to describe the way Lexie looked. She asked Caroline what she did wrong, and why did she care, they weren't friends and if she felt better putting others down-"

"No way!"

"Yes, Caroline was going to say something but Lexie kept going. She told her that Caroline might be pretty on the outside but that it didn't matter. What matters is what's on the inside and then Lexie told her that she was ugly on the inside."

"Then what happened?" Charlotte asked excitingly.

"I don't know Lexie had this weird look on her face, but she wouldn't look at anyone. She apologized, and told me she would see me at home, thanked Charlie, Will and Caroline for inviting her, and told us to enjoy the rest of the night."

"What do you mean Jane; you make it sound as if you didn't see her after that?" Lizzie asked.

"I didn't, Caroline was shocked and offended I apologized over and over, and things calmed down. Will followed her and while he was gone Charlie told Caroline she had gone too far and that she had to apologize when Lexie got back. But Will came back on his own."

"What, what happened to Lexie?"

"Will said that she called her friend John to pick her up and that she was going to stay at Anne's."

"John? Who's John and why would she expect him to drive to a different city just to pick her up?"

"Oh his name was Jonathan Drake; he was in town at the concert. He had invited her after I did. She even sat with them so that Charlie did not have to buy an extra ticket for Caroline."

"None of that made sense Janey."

"Apparently John asked her to go to the orchestra but I asked her first so she declined his invite. Caroline wasn't going to come, but at the last minute she changed her mind. When we got to the auditorium John and his niece saw Lexie and came to say hi, his niece wanted Lexie to sit with them, since they still had an extra ticket. Lexie said no but Charlie insisted, so they wouldn't have to buy another ticket and Caroline would not sit next to strangers."

"Oh," they both said. "Wait did you say Drake?" Charlotte asked.

"Yes, I believe that was it, Jonathan Drake and his niece was Nicole Parker. Why? Do you know them Char?"

"WHAT! You guys don't know who the Drake's are?"

Silence…"Well are you gonna tell us?" Lizzie asked.

"They are only _the_ richest family in town. Shit probably the world."

"The world really Char?" Lizzie asked teasingly.

"No not the world, but they are up there. They own one of the top financial something and if I am right Lexie's friend John is going to become own a company when he turns 21? I think. He's 17 but his birthday is coming up. He is tall dark and handsome, very smart, very rich, and he plays the cello. His parents died when he was young in a car crash and his sister moved into town a while back. But they are billionaires, probably even higher than that."

Lizzie whistled.

"Yea," was all Charlotte said.

"Oh I think I remember him from Lexie's recitals. I thought he looked familiar. Do you think that's why she hasn't mentioned him before, introduce him to us? We've met Hurst and Anne. Does she think we would embarrass her?"

"_Lexie_ has no reason to be embarrassed of _US_ Jane! It probably has more to do with mom."

"So should I not mention him? And what about what happened with Lexie and Caroline. What do I tell mom when she asks how it went?"

"I don't think you should mention John. Hmm how did Charlie act after dinner?"

"They same…..well he kept apologizing for Caroline and he hoped that Lexie was going to be ok. But other than that he was still himself. He asked me if I was ok, and I told him that I was I just wish that Lexie was still here. I told him that she would be ok, she just needed time by herself. Do you think that's true Lizzie?"

"Yea, you know how Lexie is, don't worry Jane. And when mom asks just say that everything went great, Lexie behaved and in case she asks where Lexie is, just tell her that Anne wanted her to spend the night."

"Ok, thanks, Lizzie, Char. I'm gonna crash out. I'll see you tomorrow. Night."

"Night, see you tomorrow." They both said.

"Ugh I should have gone; I should have been there to keep an eye on Lexie." Lizzie said defeated.

"Lizzie! How can you say such a thing?! Lexie was in the right. Caroline took it too far."

"Yea she did, you're right." Lizzie said quietly. "I just wish Lexie could be normal, just ignore Caroline. I do, you do. Everyone does. She played right into Caroline's trap."

"If it were me I would have beat the shit out of that skinny little bitch. She's lucky if all Lexie told her was that she was ugly."

They both laughed. "That is probably the worst, most offending thing Caroline has ever heard." Lizzie said laughing. "Now I wish I had been there to see the look on her face."

* * *

"Thank you very much for coming for me John. I am sorry I interrupted your evening with your family."

"Lexie, there is no need to apologize. I am glad you called me, and as for my family, my grandmother will not mind once we tell her what happened and Nicky will love to spend more time with you." She just nodded. "In fact I think she likes you more than me." He nudged her.

"Impossible. Do we have to tell your grandmother what happened tonight? Can't I just tell her tomorrow?"

"Yes, but you have to tell me what happened first. Will did not confront you again did he?"

"No, it was Caroline."

"What happened?"

Lexie told John verbatim what happened at dinner up until he came and picked her up. "I am a horrible person, no matter what she said to me I should have not said that to her." Lexie said sounding defeated.

"You're not a horrible person Lexie. Most people would have probably slapped her for behaving in such a way. It is as you said; you did nothing to warrant such behavior. I am proud of you though."

"Proud? Why proud?"

"Although you might not see it as such, you stood up for yourself. Maybe not the way you would have liked but you still stood up for yourself."

"Hmm, I can see your point, but it does not make me feel better." She rested her head on his shoulder and let out a big sigh. "I just feel like I'm losing control of my emotions. I feel like such a huge failure. Is this how I am going to act next time I get angry? What about when I am sad? Hurt? Why am I feeling all of these emotions?"

"It's called being human Lexie."

"Why can't I go back to how I was before? Why aren't the pills working like they usually do." She sighed, "Ugh damn Will." She said to herself, why did he have to make her feel? He seemed like a disaster every time she was around him she lost control. This was his entire fault.

"Will? You've been feeling this way since Sunday?" She tensed she didn't mean to say it out loud. She pulled away from him and looked out the window.

"Lexie?"

She closed her eyes; she didn't want to think about it. She just wanted to go back. "I just wish I could go back. Be in my own little bubble. No one bothered me, no one hurt me. My pills made me numb, helped me get through the day in that house. Then I fell. It was the day that changed everything. The day I wanted more for myself, the day I felt things without wanting to, the day my whole world was shattered, something had to change, I had to change. The first time I ever thought what my life would be like without the pills." She said quietly. "It seems like lately it doesn't matter if I take them or not. I feel. I feel hurt more, angry, as if I'm going to break."

"What does Will have to do with that? The fall happened two weeks ago and he confronted you this last Sunday."

"Every time I'm around him I seem to lose control of my emotions. He was the one that found me. Jane had gone to get help, his house was the closest. I had met him twice before, and spoke to him at my party. I guess you could say that I liked him. He noticed I had gone outside, we had a mutual understanding." She sighed and put her elbows to her knees and her face to her hands. "The day of the accident, he was there for me. He made me feel. He made me feel safe, and I couldn't get him out of my mind at the hospital after he left. I opened up to him without knowing him. The first person I ever opened up to so easily, I do not know how the idea popped into my head…. it isn't that I want to be with _him_ just someone in general. Rose is always saying no one wants to be with someone like me, someone who takes pills. No one wants me, will want me. I always told myself that I didn't need anyone, I've always been alone. Love didn't work for my parents, why should it work for me. Work, all I ever do is work. Why can't anything be easy? Why can't people say how they feel without it being held against them? I'm not allowed to talk about how I feel because society deems it unfit, and depressing. It's hypocritical bull. The news is depressing; Lifetime shows you how cruel life for women can be, and crazy. Horror movies show murder, and goes into the dark twisted psyche of the villain. Reality TV poisons people's minds. Girls learn at a young age to worry about how they look. The list just goes on and on."

He didn't say anything. A couple of minutes passed by and she asked him to stop the car. He asked the driver to stop.

"I'm just going to go into a gas station and call Anne and Hurst. Again I am sorry I ruined your night. Thank you for coming and listening. I'll see you later." She said quickly and got out. She was giving him a way out. She just told him too much. Maybe she wouldn't call them, maybe she could stay here, be alone, away from everything, everyone. Dr. Stone would come for her. She would understand.

"Alexa!" _Back to Alexa._ She cringed and just kept walking. She heard running and picked up her pace.

"Alexandra! Please stop."

She stopped but didn't turn around. She couldn't "Jonathan, it's just easier this way. I'm giving you a chance to leave, accept it."

"So that's it?" He said walking around her to face her. "You're just making the decision, without speaking to me about it? What about what I want."

"What anyone _wants _is pointless. Sometimes you have to cut off the foot so save the leg." She said looking down.

He lifted her chin up to meet his gaze, she looked lost.

"Please let me go." She whispered.

"I can't." He was going to kiss her, it felt right. But the driver interrupted him. His grandmother was ready to get picked up. "Now get in the car." His voice was commanding and she knew it would be better not to protest.

They entered the limo and headed to the restaurant in silence. When Nicky entered she went to hug Lexie and began to ask her why she was there. Lexie told her she was going to stay at her friend Anne's who lives in the city. Nicky wanted to stay the night at Anne's with Lexie, but her grandmother said she was too young. Nicky asked her to stay the night with her and she said maybe some other night. She had to pinky promise.

She didn't know when but she had fallen asleep.

_Everything was blurry, she could still make out some things. She was younger, she wasn't sure how old, but Lizzie was there and so was Jane. They were watching TV and the front door opened. Her father came in and all three of them went running up to him. Excited and happy. He gave Jane a big hug and kiss, spinning her around. Next was Lizzie, he picked her up and tossed her in the air a couple of times. Tickling in between, and spinnig her. "I missed you my little bear," and he gave her a huge kiss and bear hug. She went up to him her arms held up waiting to be spun and tickled. All he did was kiss her cheek, patting her head as he walked past her and into his study. Lizzie and Jane still giggling, making their way back to the living room. She just stood there, tears filling her eyes. _

_She was still young, her and Lizzie were lying down in bed. Her father would always say goodnight to them. He came in and gave Lizzie a hug and kissed her. Told her not to let the bed bugs bite. Lizzie would tell her that she loved him. "I love you too my little bear." He walked up to her; he kissed her and told her good night. "I love you daddy," she told home. "Me too" was all he said. _

_They were at a store, Lizzie was holding her hand. Rose was looking at clothes; a baby was crying. Lizzie wanted to go look at something with Jane. Someone told all three of them to go and hold hands. Lizzie was pulling her. They got to something, it was a blur and Lizzie got excited and let go of her hand. Someone was calling them; she turned to hold Lizzie's hand no one was there. She looked around, just strangers walking around. She decided to wait, no one came. There were less and less people, she waited nothing. A lady came up to her, and asked her were her parents were, she didn't say anything. How long have you been here honey? Nothing. The store is about to close, do you know your phone number, where you live? Silence. She could hear Rose yelling. "Alexa! There you are, why did you let go of Lizzie's hand! You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home , what do you have to say." She said nothing. They got home her father was there. He asked her what happened, she said nothing, "Lizzie said that you let go of her hand, what if someone had taken you?" Nothing. He grabbed her by the shoulders, "look at me when I'm speaking to you!" His grip was tight; she said nothing she didn't look at him. He repeated himself, she stayed the same. He slapped her across the face. _

She jerked up breathing hard. She was in a bed, but it wasn't her bed at Anne's. She looked around, her clutch was on the nightstand, and Nicky was curled up beside her. She reached for her clutch and pulled out her phone. It was past 1, too late to call Anne. She was thirsty and hungry. She hoped she could find the kitchen. She found the restroom and took off her make up and unpinned her hair. She went to the kitchen, the light in the kitchen was on, and she almost turned back. But her stomach was aching; she entered and saw John eating a bowl of cereal. He looked up at her but neither said anything. He stood and made his way to the cabinet. Pulled out a bowl and got a spoon.

"Sit down," he commanded, she complied and he prepared her a bowl of cereal. He placed in front of her. "Eat." She ate, and they sat there in silence. She kept her head down. She finished before he did and got up to wash her plate. She finished and thanked him.

"Alexa!" She stopped at the door way, and turned around to face him. But she could not face him, she kept her head down. He sighed and walked up to her. "Don't let me catch you looking down again ok? Keep your chin up." He said picking up her chin lightly with his index finger.

His touch, it made her feel a warmth that she vaguely remembered. She hugged him, and he returned the hug, _safe_. That was how she felt, he was there for her, he did not leave her, knowing what he did. "Thank you for not leaving me." She felt her eyes start to water.

"I would never leave you Lexie, not unless you wanted me to."

"Never." She said quietly, and tightened her hold on him. She didn't want him to leave, not now not after everything. She felt happy around him.

He led her to a room, it seemed to be the television room and they sat on the couch. "Tell me what's wrong?" He said sitting down and pulling her to sit next to him.

"I think I have burdened you with enough of my problems for today," she said wiping away her tears. He held her hands in his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Luckily for me it's a new day, according to the clock." He smirked at her.

"I had a bad dream, or more like repressed memories?" She was unsure, she never had memories from her childhood, with her family. All she remembered was the feelings. He nodded for her to continue. "I was younger Jane, Lizzie and I ran up to my father when he got to the house. He greeted Jane and Lizzie warmly, happily, spin them and pick them up. I waited for my turn, you know, watching how Jane and Lizzie laughed and giggled I couldn't wait for my turn. All I got was a kiss on the cheek and pat on the head. He never told me that he loved me. He would come in and tell us goodnight, he would tell Lizzie. I always told him that I loved him, "Me too," was his response, always. "Me too." Like he couldn't bring himself to say those three words, the only thing I ever wanted to hear him say." She paused and took a deep breath.

"I remembered the day I stopped speaking, the day I stopped caring you could say. I was left alone at a store; I had been holding Lizzie's hand. I always thought that it was I who let go of her hand. I got blamed for it, James, my father was angry, I wouldn't say anything. I felt empty, at the end I wished that they wouldn't return for me. That a stranger could just take me away; which is horrible because there are bad people out there. He slapped me. I didn't care, it hurt but I didn't care. I stopped speaking, and they did not notice, for a while anyways." He pulled her in for a hug and they sat there for a while.

"Would you have come back if I left you there?"

"I wouldn't have wanted to, but I would have." She said trying to prove it to herself. The truth was that she wasn't positive at all.

"I went away once, I was 16 and my grandfather gave me the Mustang. It use to be my fathers. They were restoring it-" his voice broke and a tear went down his cheek. She lifted her hand to brush it away. He held her hand to his cheek. She sat up on her knees to hug him, and he cried silently.

He let out a sob and wrapped his arms around her waste. She tightened her grip and ran her hand through his hair. She could smell his cologne, she liked this. His thoughts weren't to far from hers. He loved being in her embrace. He felt at peace, it felt right. She belonged with him, not Will. He had been angry earlier, when she spoke about how Will made her feel. He wanted to be the one that made her feel safe, he wanted to love her. He wanted her to want the same things though.

"I just took off, drove to a different city 3 hours away. I found a park and watched the kids running around with their parents, I felt like Pink from The Wall. You know which scene right?" She nodded. "I wanted to stay there, be away from everyone and everything. Not have to worry about my life, take a day off. I ended up staying a couple of days, Hurst tracked me down, he was the only one I was speaking to." He took in a deep breath. "He got me to come back….. Can I show you something?"

She nodded yes and they stood up. He led her to a different part of the house, he held her hand the whole way. He stopped in front of a door and unlocked it, they entered, it was an office. There was a desk, couch, recliner, a TV, and shelves filled with books and movies. He led her to the desk, grabbed a frame and handed it to her. She looked at it, it was her handwriting. "You are special, you are important, you are loved." She looked up at him.

"Hurst gave it to me, that's how he got me to come back. He said that you gave it to him."

"He would never believe me when I told him. I gave this to him to remind him. I like this frame better than the one I gave him though." She said studying it. It had very intricate details on it.

"I decided to use that frame for something else," he opened a drawer and pulled out a frame handing it to her. She placed the other one on the desk. Grabbing the other she almost dropped it as soon as she saw it. She looked at it again it was her, but she didn't recognize herself.

"I look beautiful, I don't remember Hurst taking this picture, he always shows me the photos he takes."

"He didn't take it I did, it was the first picture I ever took, we were at one of the Hurst's parties." He grabbed the frame back from her and placed it back in the drawer.

"Would you mind making me a copy?"

"Don't you find it strange that I have a photo of you?"

"You said it was the first one you took….. Hurst has photos of me."

"Can you really not see it Lexie? Could you not tell?"

She looked confused, she was confused, and put her chin down. He lifted it up, leaning in and kissed her. His lips were soft, and warm. It sent a shock throughout her body and his.

"I love you Lexie, I have for a long time. In this past week my feelings have only grown stronger. Please give me a chance to make you happy, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. Give us a chance?" He knew it was too soon, she was still getting to know him. He didn't want to wait, to lose his chance.

"John, I-I, you can't. Please don't ask this from me." She wanted to, she wanted so much to try, but what if it didn't work out, what if he got tired of her, if he realized she wasn't good enough for him. _He deserves better_.

"Why?" He asked placing a kiss on her forehead.

"How can you like someone like me? Haven't you been listening to what I've been telling you? What about my illness, my family, I don't belong in your society you've said so yourself. What if it doesn't work out, I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all."

"Alexandra Bennet, you are beautiful, smart, multitalented, you have a big heart and beautiful soul. You are caring, loving and a good person." He said kissing her between words; he took as a good sign she didn't push him away. "I know I've said some harsh words to you, I told you how I felt, you have proven beyond that you belong, I don't care about your family, or your disorder. I care about you, I want you, I need you. We can go-"

She pulled him by his shirt and kissed him, he returned the kiss and wrapped his arms around her. She put her arms around his neck, when he demanded entrance to her mouth she parted her lips willingly. There tongues touched and she inhaled sharply. She felt a tingling sensation throughout her whole body and she moaned softly when one of his hands made its way to the curve on her back. He tightened his grip and squeezed her body to his. As they pulled away for air his teeth pulled her bottom lip causing another moan to escape. He kissed her behind the ear and she moaned again, he felt her trembling. He began to kiss her neck, and run his hands up and down her back.

She whispered his name, causing a low growl to escape his throat. He said her name causing another moan to escape her. She said his name again and pulled away.

"John- I want you, I need you, I want to be with you-" She trialed off.

"But?"

"I'm scared, I'm scared of these feelings, I'm scared of loosing you. I don't think I could handle it."

"I'm always going to be here for you Lexie, no matter what I promise."

"Don't promise things you can't keep."

He stared into the windows of her soul. "I promise you Alexandra I will always be here, you will never loose me."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what, I just want a chance to be with you."

She sighed into his lips. "I'm putting all of my trust into you."

"I know darling, that means a lot to hear you say that. Thank you."

They kissed and held each other. She loved being in his arms, she felt loved, wanted, she would try hard to make him happy, she would make him feel the same way. She couldn't bring herself to tell him that she loved him, not yet. These feelings were still too raw. She knew that she wanted to be with him. She had told him more about herself than she had ever shared with anyone, and he was still here, he still wanted to be with her.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: I'm back and I wrote over 8,000 words for this chapter. Luckily I was able to write during my mini vacation. I hope you enjoy this chapter; I have gone over it so many times I finally decided to put it out there. Thank you to all of you who follow, fav., and review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice, all rights and characters belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 24

She tried turning, but there was something holding her down. She opened her eyes and saw John sleeping. She couldn't help but smile, he was lying above the covers, his hair was disheveled and his lips were slightly opened. She wanted to touch him, but didn't want to wake him, so she stayed lying there just looking at him.

"_So does this mean we are dating or seeing where things go?" She asked him._

"_If you like we can call it seeing where things go. But I'm going to call you my girlfriend and I hope you will call me your boyfriend."_

"_It is not that I don't want to-"_

"_I know you don't need to explain, we will go at your own pace." He said kissing her forehead._

_She nodded, and relished being in his embrace. She felt her eyes getting heavy, and she yawned. The next thing she knew he was picking her up. She just wrapped her arm around him and snuggled into his embrace. She felt him place her on the bed, and pull the covers over her. He tucked her in and kissed her lips and forehead._

She carefully lifted his arm and got out of bed. She felt cold and frowned. If he slept over the covers, he must be cold. She wrapped the covers over him, wrapping him in a burrito. Her clutch was on the nightstand and she got her phone out, it was 7. She looked at him and placed a kiss on his cheek. He smiled. She pulled out her phone and took a picture of him.

* * *

Anne woke up when she received a message. She thought it would be Lexie, she was supposed to text her last night to let her know how Jane's date with Charles had gone. To her surprise it was Will, asking if Lexie was fine. She jumped out of bed and called him immediately.

"He-"

"What do you mean is Lexie ok?! What happened?!" She demanded.

"What! Isn't she with you? She said that she was going to go to your house."

"What do you mean, William?! How can you not know where she is! She was with you last night! What happened, you didn't just leave her by herself did you? Ugh why am I asking you?" She said hanging up on him.

"Anne? Hello?" He couldn't believe that she hung up; he would have been mad if he wasn't happy that she replied. But now he was worried, what had happened, where was she? If she wasn't at Anne's, was she at John's? For some reason the thought unsettled him. He decided to call Anne back later; she was most likely tracking Lexie down.

"_*Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, Everything that's wond-."_

She was almost out the door, Anne was calling her. She answered it quickly and turned to see John jump up. She smiled apologetically and he just gave her a sleepy smile and held his hand out to her, she made her way to him.

"Lexie! Lexie! Are you listening to me? Where are you?" She asked frantically.

"Yes, sorry Anne, I was distracted." She lay next to him and he placed an arm around her. "What were you saying?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at John's house; I will be there in about an hour or so. I'll let you know."

"Ok, but I expect _some_ details."

"Of course, I'll read you the whole book."

"Fine, love you, I'll see you later." She said somewhat skeptical.

"I love you too." She hung up. "Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up." She said looking up at him, he kissed her forehead.

"Is that why you were sneaking out?" He said teasingly.

"I was not sneaking out; I shouldn't even be in here." She said looking around for the first time. His room was a little messy; there were no posters on the wall, or pictures. It seemed like an older man's room rather than a teenage boy's.

"Why shouldn't you be in here? You are my girlfriend." She frowned remembering what Jenny told him the first time she came over.

"You make it sound so natural. How many of your girlfriends have been in your room? Shared your bed? Or stayed the night?" She asked hurt. _Jealousy._ She tensed it was an old familiar feeling, something she had not felt since she was younger.

He sighed. "Do you really want to know? Is it important, will the answer change the outcome of our relationship?" He said taking his arm off of her and running a hand through his hair. He wasn't sure how she would react, he didn't want to lose her, he only had her less than a day.

"First of all we only started dating last night, well this morning technically. Second I may be your girlfriend but I'm sure your family is under the assumption I slept in Nicky's room. Third I'm not sure if I want to know, my mind wants to know but my heart is afraid of the answer. Is that weird I don't think that has happened before." She sighed. "I do not believe it would affect us….but you said I wouldn't lose you as a friend. Why are you smiling like that?"

He had a smug look on his face, with a goofy smile, his disheveled hair didn't help. He grabbed her face and kissed her passionately which she returned. He pulled away and hugged her to his chest. "You said that we were dating and you called yourself _my girlfriend_." He let out a deep breath and just held her. "No girl has ever stayed the night….." He held her tighter. "I'm not going to lie to you Lexie, I never could. I have had three girlfriends but I've been with ten girls." She tried pulling away, but he only allowed her enough space so he could look into her eyes, she had gone into her shell. "Please don't shut yourself in Lexie speak to me, please." He pleaded.

She was going to say something, but there was a knock at the door. It was Nicky, she was telling him through the door that Lexie was gone, it sounded like she was crying. John let her go allowing Lexie to stand up and fix her dress. She went to open the door.

"Lexa!" She jumped at her. "I was so sad, I woke up and you were gone, and I thought I did something bad-why did you leave?" She said sniffling.

"Nicky, I'm sorry sweetie, I went to the restroom and I got lost. John found me and he was showing me his room." She was happy for the distraction, she had to get away, had to think.

"Oh ok, can you help me pick my clothes, and do my hair? Oh! And my makeup?" She said pulling Lexie out of his room, and dragging her back to her room. Lexie didn't turn to look at John, she just left, and he had to fix it, but how?

* * *

Anne had been looking out the window waiting for Lexie. She saw John's car pull, Lexie didn't get down right away, they spoke and then she saw John lean in and she could tell that he kissed her. Lexie certainly had a lot to tell her, and she hopped that she would. She had been opening up, but it seemed to only happen after something bad happened. Then it hit her, that was what was different about Lexie, she had never opened up at all, no matter what, she always kept it in. She was too busy lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Lexie enter the living room.

"Anne Darlene Ruth De Bough! In all the years I've known you, I never thought you would be the one to spy. That seems so beneath you." She said giggling with a big smile.

"Lexie! You know better than to call me by my full name!" Lexie came running up to her, and gave her a big hug, spinning her.

"Oh Anne I'm soo happy!" She broke out laughing.

"I assume we have Mr. Drake to thank for this?" Lexie nodded with a big smile on her face. "Would- Do do you want to talk about it?" She asked hesitantly.

Lexie went on to tell her mostly everything starting with John's letter, and Saturday until this morning.

Will had been trying to reach Anne, but she wasn't answering, so he figured the only way he could not be ignored was to come and visit. The maid informed him that Anne was in the living room with Lexie. She was going to show him in, but he told her not to. The door was open slightly and he could hear them.

"Wow!"

"I know, I didn't get to speak with him until he dropped me off, he told me that I was different. I'm so worried Anne! What if things don't work out? He said we'd still be friends, but how do you go back to just being friends? Remember how I said Will made me feel the day of the accident?" Anne nodded and Will decided to not make his presence known

"You said you don't know how he made you feel that you confused. But he made you feel safe and you wished to be back in his arms, correct?" Will held his breath in, he couldn't think he felt himself turn red.

"Yes, well I know it's only been a couple of hours and I've "known" him for a week. But he makes me feel safe. I know I do not into specifics of the things I have told him, but- maybe it has to do with the way he held me when I momentarily broke down on Sunday? But the way he looks at me, makes me melt, when we touch I shiver, when we kiss-" she said looking into the distance.

"That good?" Anne asked giggling.

"When he kisses me…I feel, alive? I do not know I've never felt this way. But yes really good. Most importantly he makes me happy." She laughed. "Is that how it is for you and Hurst?"

"Yes, he makes me feel the same. If I were you, I would just enjoy the ride, and be happy." Lexie's face fell. "I thought you said he made you happy?" She asked worriedly.

"He does," she said quietly. "What if I _can't_ stay happy? Or make him happy? What if he finds someone better? Someone who doesn't have an illness, who's family isn't an embarrassment?" She said worriedly and started pacing.

"Lexie-"

"Anne let us be realistic; he is very handsome, intelligent, and funny. Not to mention very wealthy he can have anyone he wants." She said slumping down on the couch.

"Yes and he chose you. A handsome, intelligent, funny, sweet, and rich guy chose you Alexandra Bennet. Not to mention he has accepted you even though you take the pills, with your social status and your family. He is like William but better."

She stood up and paced again. "Oh my, Rose! What if he wants to meet my family, can you imagine how Rose would react? How would he react to her? He's seen how she is, and I told him more or less, but seeing and knowing are two different things." She said quickly and stopped. "Wait how is he better than Will I do not like that you said that! That makes me feel more insecure. If Will cannot like me why would someone who is better!" She said hallow. It was quiet for a minute Will was surprised that she would speak to Anne in such a way. She saw Anne's face fall.

"Oh Anne please forgive me! I do not know what came over me. Please forget I said such a horrible thing. I know, believe me I know that you did not mean anything bad or what I said at all. It is just that my thoughts get the best of me. Please forgive me, I know you." "This is why I do not let you in Anne. This is why I am worried, I am losing control." She said quietly.

"It is all right Lexie; we are kindred spirits after all. I know you are scared, and worried." She went over to Lexie and sat her down, just holding her. "I was worried with Hurst as well. But he makes me feel the same way John makes you feel. I use to worry and I do but when I am with him it is just the two of us. I can feel that he cares for me as much as I do for him." She patted her head. "What I meant was that you felt no one like Will could like someone like you, remember?" Lexie nodded. "But John has proven you wrong. He is handsomer than William, he is funny, he is richer than him, and he is a good man."

"I see what you are saying; I remember thinking I had to change."

"Yes, John accepts you with all your faults, where William condemned you for them." Will cringed, Anne was right.

"Will is a good guy Anne, I know he is. That is why I forgave him. " He smiled a small smile.

"Just ask yourself is risking this happiness your feeling right now, worth the heart ache if things don't work out with John? Why not be happy now, and make happy memories? You said you would still be friends."

"Anne I don't think I could bare to lose him, I don't mean as a boyfriend as a friend in general. Not after everything I've told him. He is still here; he wants to be with me. He told me he loved me Anne. _Me._ Can you believe it? I can't." She sighed. "I want to be with John, he makes me happy; I want nothing more than to make him as happy as he makes me. All I could promise him was to give him a chance. I'm just afraid that we won't be able to go back to being friends."

"Of course I can believe he loves you Lexie! What is not to love?" Lexie was about to say something. "Lexie you know you are loved. Dr. Stone, Hurst, Mary, myself and now John love you. Five is not an ideal number but it is something. You know if you make it seem like it is not enough you will be calling yourself a hypocrite!"

"You are right of course. I feel like I love him as I do all of you, but it is deeper. I want to tell him, but I am afraid, if I tell him something bad will happen and he will leave."

"I think the best thing to do is take things slow. I believe though that he is a good guy, and that he deeply cares for you."

"Thank you Anne," she hugged her. "Oh my we've been talking for hours about me. What about you and Hurst?"

"I believe we should save that story for later, how about you spend the night? I have to get ready and you have to get ready."

"Ok, but tonight we will talk?" She asked excitingly she enjoyed talking to Anne.

"Yes, now your room is ready, would you like to Hurst and me to give you a ride?"

"No enjoy your day, John would like to take me as we planned yesterday, but I can take the bus. I might ask him for a ride to my house to pick up my bag." She said hugging Anne and kissing her on the cheek. She walked away and Anne called out to her.

"Lexie? Thank you so much for opening to me, it means a lot, it truly does. I was worried about talking about Hurst to you, I did not want to make it seem like I am boasting."

"Anne! I would never think such a thing. You know I am happy for both of you."

"Yes Hurst explained your reaction, he said his hearing would come and go."

"Yes! Beyond the moon. Now I will leave you because I have been in this dress all night."

"Well that is good to know." She said jokingly.

"Anne! My word! You know that he can just lift up the skirt right?" Lexie said with an affronted look on her face and then she raised an eyebrow and smirked. Will almost collapsed.

"Alexandra Bennet! Damn I wish you had a middle name. Please tell me you kept your panties on." She asked in shock.

Lexie burst out laughing hysterically. "Anne, oh my!" She tried breathing, but couldn't "I- I can't breathe." She laughed and Anne couldn't help but to laugh to. Lexie's laugh was rare and contagious. "I-I-" She inhaled and kept laughing. Will thought she had a beautiful laugh. She regained he composure. "Yes of course! You know better than that!" She giggled. "Just so you know though, you can still have sex without taking them off. Do not worry Johnathan was the perfect gentleman. You do not need to worry about him."

"Should I worry about you?" She shook her head and giggled.

"Should I worry about you and Hurst?" She giggled and shook her head. "Ok, then I'll let you get ready for your date. I know he likes to see you in the color yellow, and green. I remember in a majority of the pictures he's taken of you those were his favorite."

"Thank you I will go through my clothing. Oh Lexie? That dress looks amazing on you."

"Thank you for convincing me to buy it. Love you!" She said walking backwards. Will quickly took three long steps back, he was happy he was tall. Then turned to make it seem as if he had just gotten there, he started thinking how strange his behavior was.

She walked out the door and saw Will, "Good morning Will," she smiled brightly at him. "Thank you for last night and again I am sorry. If you will excuse me, I must get ready. Anne is in there. I will see you around, have a good day." She smiled, with a worry free look on her face.

He was shocked she didn't even allow him to speak to her. She looked different. _Her smile_. He entered the living room.

"Hello Anne," she looked up at him.

"Fitzwilliam," she said with a smile, when she saw him square his shoulders. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"If you answered your phone, you could have saved me the trip." He said a bit angry. He could not believe Anne thought John was better than him. Her own flesh and blood.

"You make visiting me sound so horrible, and my mother is not even here. Why did you come?" She replied with the same hint of anger.

"I was worried about Alexa." He said nonchalantly.

"Why she is not your friend!" She said angrily, and then sighed. "Look William, I am no longer angry with you. Lexie is the happiest I have seen her and I believe you are responsible." He looked puzzled and was about to say something. "That is all I will say, as you saw she is more than fine. If you excuse me, I am sorry you made the trip, but I need to get ready. You may stay for a while if you like, the cook will make you brunch." She stood and gave him a small hug.

He just stood there, surprised and angry. He came all the way over here and was treated rather rudely by his cousin. He was worried about Alexa and she did not even care that he bothered to come, nor did Anne. The maid came and he asked her for some tea. He sat down and started to think about all he overheard. Alexa was with John, she was happy, the happiest Anne had seen her. Apparently Lexie did not like her mother. The maid returned with tea and he froze. He didn't even thank her. He had realized that Alexa liked him? That he made her feel safe, and she wanted to be in his arms. He did not know what to think. He remembered that she mentioned taking the bus; maybe if he stayed until she left he could offer her a ride. Surely she wouldn't decline his offer. He contemplated everything he overheard.

* * *

She got dressed and looked at herself in the mirror. She did not like what she was wearing. She changed and again nothing. The only thing she had left was her uniform. She decided to wear the skirt and the purple shirt she wore last weekend. It was a little chilly so she put John's sweater on, she liked how big it looked on her. She put on eyeliner and lip gloss. Now her hair, she looked at it she wasn't happy with it. She sighed and put her hands to her face. She was never concerned about such things. She had always been content with how she looked. Now she was worried she didn't look nice enough. Her hair had always been the same and her clothing was a little loose fitting. She was happy that she was going to see Dr. Stone. Speaking with Anne was a big help, she knew Dr. Stone would help her understand things better. She grabbed her clutch and made her way downstairs Anne would be gone by now, she decided to take off; she would still have time to walk around downtown. She passed the living room and heard her name.

"Oh Will, is Anne still here? I thought she had left." She asked looking around.

"No, yes, she left but she mentioned you needed a ride." He lied.

She looked at him skeptically, and he averted his gaze. "I have no idea why she would say such a thing, but no thank you I do not need a ride. Have a good day." She said walking away.

"Well I'm about to leave myself, it would be no trouble." He was surprised _she_ declined _his_ offer.

"The thing is I'm not going to my house, I have a meeting at 2 in the city, and I was just going to walk around until then. Thank you though." She smiled waiting for his goodbye.

He looked like he was about to protest and Lexie saw him go into his mask. He was trying not to show his anger.

"However, seeing as how you assumed I needed a ride and waited, I will accept your offer." She smiled brightly at him when he looked at her surprised.

They were sitting quietly he was trying to think of what to say, he knew what he wanted to say but did not know where to start. He also did not want to give away that he eavesdropped on her conversation. She had already caught him once. "I am sorry about yesterday." He said thinking of the first thing.

"Why?"

"Caroline shou-"

"No, why are _you_ sorry? You did nothing wrong."

"I am just sorry in general."

"Oh ok," she said like it was a foreign concept to comprehend. "Well no need to feel bad, you did nothing wrong. John likes to believe things happen for a reason." She said dreamily. Her phone rang; she looked at it and got happy. "Please excuse me." She told him. "Hello?- Hi John!- I am great, you?" She giggled, "I am on my way to my appointment.- Yes, and I told you I could take the bus, besides I need I ride to my house to pick up items for school if you would like to volunteer.- I wouldn't have wanted to make you wait. I never know how long I will be there.- Ok I'll call you when I'm ready.-Though it's only been a couple of hours, I miss you too. Ok bye!" She was smiling brightly when she hung up, just hearing his voice made her smile. The way he called her darling, when he told her he missed her even though it had been a couple of hours since he saw her. When he told her that he loved her, but understood she couldn't say it _yet_.

He looked at her, she was glowing. "I did not know you and John were dating." He said angrily, he did not know why he felt jealous, but he did.

"Is it that hard to believe?" She said indifferently.

"Yes, NO! That is not what I meant, what I meant was-" He couldn't believe he kept offending her.

She started laughing and covered her mouth when he looked at her. "I am sorry," she said composing herself. "But you should have seen the look on your face." She cleared her throat and fidgeted in her seat. She broke out laughing again, and covered her mouth. She giggled, "Again I apologize, I do not know what came over me." She composed herself. "I know what you meant, when I told Jane he was my friend, he was. Now we are dating."

"That is good, you _seem_ happy." He cringed.

"Relax Will, I took no offence. I am happy. Why shouldn't I be John is what every guy should be." She said looking out the window.

"You mean rich?" He asked angrily.

She squared her shoulders. "Though most people care for such things I do not. John is funny, smart, passionate, compassionate and a good man. _He_ makes me happy, the happiest I have ever been. His bank account or inheritance has no effect on me."

"The happiest you have ever been? Surly there must have been other times in your 17 years of life."

She tensed up and then relaxed. "There was the day I got Aries, and then there was….oh when Anne and Hurst started dating. You know about that right? I mean you saw the pictures Gina took. Just a fair warning it is low key. Where was I? Oh yes feeling this happy…nothing else. Do you mean to tell me that you would only date someone who was as rich or richer than you?"

"No of course not, I would have to like the person in order to date them. I am sorry, I do not mean to offend you." She nodded. "Well what about all the awards you've won?" Trying to keep the conversation going.

"I forget you've been to the house." She sighed. "I worked hard to get those awards, work being the key word. I am a disciplined player, and although it is not hard for me to learn something, I still work hard to get perfect 100's. I am proud of my awards though I wish they were not displayed. They mean more to James and Rose than they do to me."

"James and Rose?"

"My creators." She replied curtly. "*_They'll never be good to you, bad to you, They'll never be anything, Anything at all." _She sighed "Speaking of the devil." She muttered under her breath, and inhaled sharply. She had felt herself getting angry already and did not want a repeat of what happened with Caroline. She thought of John, and reached for her neck, and she became happy. The phone rang again and she turned the volume off.

The phone kept vibrating and Lexie would look to see who it was, she never answered it. After a while of silence, Will tried to speak several times but could not think of the right thing to say.

Lexie noticed. "*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence."

Will internally frowned, then thought for a while and he smiled. "Is that another quote?"

She giggled, his smile grew. "Yes, I am glad you figured it out, it is from Pulp Fiction."

"Is that your favorite movie?"

"Hmmm….it is up there, but it is not my favorite. Good quotes though. My favorite movie would have to be between Tangled and Shaun of the Dead. But then again, The Wall is an awesome movie and album. I suppose I do not have a favorite, it is like music. Each a masterpiece in its own right. You?"

"My favorite movie?"

"Yes, or do you not watch movies either?" She asked curiously.

"Of course I watch movies." He answered curtly. She looked at him expecting an answer, when he did not give one she looked out the window. He honestly did not watch many movies, most of them he watched because Georgie would ask him to or make him. He was actually embarrassed of one of his favorite movies; he did not want her to laugh at him. They arrived downtown and Lexie told him where to drop her off.

"Thank you for the ride Will, I will see you around. Oh please do not mention my relationship with John to _anyone_." She pleaded. He looked at her, she was clearly happy, her hair was down, the eyeliner and purple shirt brought out her eyes, she was pretty.

"Of course," was all he could say.

She smiled brightly at him. "Thank you Will, you have no idea how much it means." She touched his arm and he felt a tingling sensation. He just nodded.

She unbuckled herself and when she opened the door, "Lexie!?"

"Yes?"

"A Walk to Remember that is _one _of my favorite movies."

She smiled her bright smile again, she seemed to be glowing. "Yes, that is also one of my favorites. The Notebook is another, the novels were both written by Nicholas Sparks, but I have never read them. I am more of a music person. Thank you for the ride, I'll see you later." She smiled her big smile at him and waved good bye.

He watched as she walked away, he was shocked that he had told her. Did he really care if she liked him, or what she thought about him? He sighed, she had like liked him but now after he hurt her he knew she could not like him. John accepted her, she and Anne said it themselves. Having read about her personality disorder he knew that it was a major thing. He had rejected her friendship with Georgie, threatened to take Anne away, and terribly insulted her. It is as if he knew exactly what to say to hurt her. He said all the right, wrong words to tell her. He truly had misjudged her, she was a good person. He thought of the day at the hospital as he drove away.

* * *

Lexie was glad that she had decided to accept Will's ride, she was now 30 minutes early and she had decided to try a bigger experiment than using eyeliner. Now she had to try something more drastic, in her mind anyways. Her hair, she had only ever gotten it trimmed, and only ever styled it the same, side braid, bun, half ponytail, or loose. She took a deep breath as she entered a hair salon. She looked around and saw that it was not to full, she walked up to the counter.

"Hello mam, I was wondering how long it would take to get a haircut right now?"

"It depends on how long the customer ahead of you takes." The teller replied rather rudely.

"Then may I ask how long the other people have been waiting?" She asked politely.

"I don't know, as I said it depends how long the customer takes up of the stylist time." She replied annoyed.

Lexie looked behind the teller and saw that a majority of them were talking while the customer just listened.

"Well you see I have a meeting to go to and,"

"No you can't go ahead of anyone else." She interrupted.

"Of course I would never suggest such a thing, I was only asking because had intended to come back. But now that you are being rather rude I do not intend to. You do know that time is money for some people, that they have places to be, maybe not everyone but yes some people have things to take care of. Thank you for your time, have a good day." She answered nicely while holding her chin up and gave a small smile.

She was walking out the door and she heard a lady call out.

"Excuse me miss?"

She turned, "Yes?"

"Hello, I am sorry about that, as you can see I have only five stylists and there are quite a few people."

"Yes I understand, I had only asked the receptionist how long it would take, I tried explaining that I had a meeting to get to. I had the intention of asking her for a styling suggestion so that I could know what to ask for instead of _wasting_ the stylist's time. I had intended on returning but now I find I do not wish to waste my money here, I am sure if the stylist spent less time speaking you would be able to attend more people, as I said time is money, and there are some people like myself that want to be in and out." She said politely.

"Please let me cut your hair right now for free."

"No thank you that would not be fair to the people in front of me, but if you have any suggestions, I have never had a haircut just a trim. I just want to try something that would make a difference, like noticeable if that makes sense. But I wish to keep the length? Does that help?" She asked hesitantly.

The lady smiled sweetly at her, "Yes, how would you feel about layers?"

Lexie blushed, "I am sorry I do not know what that is."

"Oh its technically what it sounds like."

"Ok, I can Google that, anything else I am worried I might not like it."

"How about bangs?"

"Ok, I know there is different length ones, and the styling has something to do with them, do you have any suggestions? What do you think would look nice on me?"

"I think you would look lovely with Taylor Swift bangs."

"Ok I will Google her too. Thank you for your time."

"Wait, please." She walked around the counter; the receptionist had her head down. She came back handing her a card. "Here take this it is a coupon for a free haircut."

"Oh no, I could not accept, I believe in paying for services rendered."

"All the more reason I would like for you to have it. Please come back when you do have the time, it does not expire. I will personally cut your hair." Lexie thought about it.

"May I at least leave a tip?"

"Yes."

"Ok, thank you so much. I will try to be back before you close if that is alright."

"We close at five today."

"Ok thank you, I am Alexa." She shook the ladies hand.

"Amy."

Lexie left and placed the card in her wallet. She was walking to the bus stop, she would arrive 15 minutes early, but she would not mind waiting.

* * *

"Dr. Stone!" Lexie smiled and hugged her.

"Lexie! It is good to see you, make yourself at home. How are you today?"

"I have very big news, I am over the moon happy, but my thoughts are getting the better of me. I also feel. Literally, I cannot control my feelings; I have so much I need to tell you, do you have the time?"

"Of course Lexie, that is what these meetings are for, Ok?" Lexie nodded. "Good, now would you like some tea?" She nodded again, and Dr. Stone served her a cup and sat down across from her. She did not have her notepad and pen. She was not working today; she knew that Lexie needed someone to talk to. Lexie told her everything that she told Anne, the events that took place and her fears.

"Lexie," she said cautiously. "John sounds like a nice boy."

"But?"

"Well I do not like how he asked you to get into the car, and sit down to eat. Though I am grateful he did not leave you in the city. Especially after the dream you had. I do not want him to pressure you into anything you are not ready for."

"I see what you are saying, but at the same time it took the work out of guessing and worrying what to do. He told me what he wanted me to do, it was my choice to comply or not. Does this mean you would not like to meet him?"

"Well I would like to see the source of your happiness, but I do not think it would be for the best."

"Yes, I can see what you mean, but I am positive he knows that we are talking about him. I will end up telling him either way. Do you mean ethically?"

"Yes, I do."

"I understand I am sorry I suggested it. It is just that you are important to me; I would feel honored if he met you. But maybe after I get better?"

"Yes maybe." She tried to sound happy. She wanted nothing more than to help Lexie get better; she had defiantly improved since their last meeting, this was the first time Lexie spoke of getting better. She had also opened up not only to Anne, and herself but John. She had only gotten acquainted with him in last week. Lexie was evidently happy, she did want to meet him, but it would be best not to. Lexie had already told her that she would come again after she got better. She knew that even if Lexie was not her patient, she would still be a part of her life and the thought made her happy.

"You-would not mind if I still wished to visit you afterwards?" Lexie asked as if reading her mind.

"Of course not Lexie, in fact I am happy to hear that you wish to continue to see me." Lexie smiled brightly. "As for your fears, I have to agree with Anne take things slow, it is natural for you to be skeptical and cautious. You have never been in a relationship before, and I am afraid that you will be questioning everything about yourself and your actions. I am afraid there is nothing to do about that. As far as feeling goes, I can see how you feel it would be a bad thing, but if you wish to stop taking your medication you are going to have to get used to it. If you begin to feel overwhelmed do what you did earlier think of what makes you happy."

Lexie nodded she understood, and still wished to discontinue the medication. They spoke for a while longer, Lexie told her about wanting to get a haircut and what had happened. Dr. Stone expressed that she was proud of her, and thought that John had a good influence on Lexie from what she had gathered. She thought that it would be a good thing to try bangs, if she did not like them she could always grow them out. Lexie called John that she was ready and gave him the address. Dr. Stone told her the side effects that she might experience and gave her a new prescription. The doorbell rang and Dr. Stone went to answer the door. It was John, she called Lexie telling her that John was here, she watched as Lexie came into the room glowing with happiness and went to hug him tightly. John also seemed to be glowing. They said there goodbyes and Lexie hugged Dr. Stone and thanked her.

* * *

"You should have called that you were here." Lexie told him as soon as they broke their kiss.

"I thought I would be a gentleman and escort you from the house to the car."

She kissed him "I missed you."

"I missed you too. I was wondering if you would like to have dinner at my house before I drop you off at Anne's. I would like to tell my family that we're dating." Lexie's smile faded. "Do you not wish to tell them?" He asked hurt.

"It is not that, it is just I am afraid that they will not approve." She looked down but held her head up.

"You know that they like you, I know they like you, and you like them right?" She nodded. "Then where is this coming from." He caressed her face. She leaned on his hand.

"They like me as your friend, not your girlfriend. Your girlfriend, who happens to take depression and anxiety medication not to mention, has a personality disorder."

He hugged her and kissed her forehead. "They will not care about any of that, all they will care about is how happy we make each other. We do not have to tell them about the medicine, can't I just tell them we are together?" He asked smiling.

"Do you really believe they would be happy for us?" He nodded. "Ok, we can tell them. But I would like to tell them about the medication, I do not wish for them to find out later. Would that be alright?"

"Yes, anything you want." He kissed her passionately and stopped when he felt he was going to lose control. He looked into her eyes, there was a glimmer in her eyes and he could see the specks of yellow. She smiled at him and leaned into his chest. "To your house then?"

She nodded and gave him a peck on the lips. "Oh actually, are we going to your house afterwards?" "Yes" "Ok, would you mind waiting with me while I cut my hair? I was going to do it when you took me to Anne's but the shop closes at 5."

"You're going to get a haircut?"

"Well just bangs, it is an experiment of sorts. Dr. Stone says it helps with my disorder, like the eyeliner. It was a change and nobody noticed, or if they did they still ignored me. Well Rose did criticize me, but other than that. So I decided to do something more noticeable. But I wish to do it after I leave the house. Just a warning, you might have to wait a while, I ignored her call earlier. Does that sound ok?"

"Yes, of course."

John got upset at the mention of Will. Lexie had told him that Will gave her a ride, and how she was going to get a free haircut. Although he was glad she stood her ground he was visibly upset but did not say anything.

"Did I do something that upset you? Do you not think I should have spoken that way to the receptionist?" She asked worriedly. John looked at her and saw that she scratched her thigh and left red marks.

"No, I believe you did the right thing, and you were polite, it is just…" She turned to face him and reached to hold his hand. He picked it up to his lips and gave her a lingering kiss. She blushed and smiled. "I got a little jealous that Darcy gave you a ride."

"I see, I was not going to accept but he waited thinking I needed a ride. He knows about us though." She said quietly. He turned sharply to look at her. Lexie couldn't read the look on his face. "You called me when I was in the car with him." He didn't say anything, just turned back to look at the road.

"You spoke to him about us?"

"No, not really. I spoke to Anne and Dr. Stone about us. The only thing I told Will was that we were dating, and that I am happy, I told him I cannot remember ever being this happy."

"Really?" He smiled his gorgeous smile. She leaned over and kissed him quickly. "Really."

* * *

"_Lexie will you please speak to me, please tell me what you are thinking." He asked as they entered the car. She said nothing. "I am sorry if I upset you I just wanted to tell you the truth."_

_She nodded and looked away, she didn't want to face him. "I am- I feel." She sighed she had to try. "I am not upset that you have been with others, your choices are yours. I-I am upset because of how you make me feel." She could not see the hurt look on his face. "When you kiss me I feel…...I cannot explain it. When you touch and hold me I feel this shock throughout my body. I wish nothing more than to just be happy and stay with those thoughts. But my thoughts get the best of me. All I can think about is that you must have made the others feel the same way, and I can't stop but think of how they must have made you feel. I cannot compare to them John." She said quietly and turned away more. "I have never been with anyone, nor have I ever thought about it. I can't give you what they've given you." She felt a tear escape. "I think it would be better if we were just friends." She had to control her emotions, the hurt the pain. She wanted to be with him she really did, but she knew he deserved to be happy._

_He looked at her and reached out to touch her. She shied away from him. He just placed a hand over hers. "If that is really what you want Lexie, I will honor your wishes, but I'd like you to know that none of those girls compare to __you__." He picked up her hand and gave it a kiss. "I have never felt this way before."_

"_That sounds like a line, a cheesy one." She said angrily._

"_It doesn't make it any less true. Last night I was going to take you to Nicky's room, but I just wanted to be with you longer, I wanted to hold you. I wanted to wake up and see that it wasn't all a dream. When I told you that I love you I meant it. You are the only girl I have ever said that to besides a family member." She turned to look at him. He saw that he was being sincere. "When I said that we would go at your pace I meant that to. Even if you do not wish to take it that far, I will respect that I just want to be with you. You make me happy, when I hold you or touch you I feel a sensation go throughout my body. When we kiss…." He leaned in and kissed her, showing her how true his feeling were. He wanted nothing more than to run his hands throughout her body and feel her but did not want her to think bad, he pulled away. "You take my breath away when we kiss." She smiled trying not to laugh. "I know cheesy right?" _

_She nodded and he hugged her. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a small box. She didn't notice she was just happy to be in his arms, breathing in his scent. "You take my breath away too, you make me happy."_

_He gave her another passionate kiss and took a necklace out of the box. He pulled away and gave her a quick kiss putting a necklace around her and clasping it. She looked at it. "You are different than any other girl I've ever met, and I mean that in a good way. I got you this for your birthday, but never gave it to you." _

_She looked down and picked up the charm it was dragonfly, her favorite. The necklace and the charm were silver. There was a small emerald in the middle. "Do you like it? I did not think you liked gold, so I got you white gold. I chose the emerald thinking of your eyes." _

"_How did you know?" She asked looking at it._

"_I remember that you wrote a report about them, and how passionate you spoke of them. I also remember Anne drew one on the inside of your binder."_

"_That was in 8__th__ grade! I seem to remember someone calling me a nerd and weird for liking an ugly insect." She raised an eyebrow at him._

"_Forgive me?" He pouted and she kissed him._

"_I already had. I love it but I can't accept this, it looks like it cost too much." She said looking for the clasp._

"_Please keep it and wear it. I knew you would not accept if from a friend, but from a guy who is madly in love with you? As a symbol of my love and friendship…..Wear it to remind yourself that you have me."_

"_I don't know what to say."_

"_How about…Thank you, John you are the best boyfriend ever. I love it as much as I do you?" He smiled and frowned when an absent look came into her eyes. He lifted her chin so she could look him in the eyes. _

_Her eyes found his; he saw the way her eyes lit up and a smile came across her face. She felt warmer, and she sighed small and leaned into him. She licked her lips and was closing her eyes; she was going to kiss him. It was on the most beautiful things he had seen. She did not have lust in her eyes, she had love. Lexie was different, she did not care that he was rich, nor did she want to be with him, for the sake of saying she was. She felt the same way he did. She kissed him passionately putting all of her love into the kiss. She was showing what she could not say._

_She pulled away breathing hard and caressed his face. "You are the best boyfriend ever, thank you very much. I-" She faltered. _

"_Tell me when you're ready. I will wait, I will be here."_

**A/N: The last part in italics happened before John dropped of Lexie at Anne's in case there is any confusion. **

***Lesley Gore-Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows**

***Marilyn Manson - Mechanical Animals**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Wrote 7,000 words for this chapter. I hope you enjoy it the first part is Anne and Hurst, just something that popped into my head. Next chapter will have the concert and I am debating between making it a happy one or a dark one. I have most of it written, but it is dark. Hopefully by the end of tomorrow I will post it. Thank you for all of you who read, follow, and review!**

**Also please forgive any typos, I go over each chapter at least 3 times, but I know I miss some.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice; all rights belong to Jane Austen. **

Ch. 25

Hurst was waiting in the hallway for Anne to come downstairs. The maid had offered to escort him to the living room but he was nervous. This was their first official date. He saw her at the top of the steps and stopped pacing. She was wearing a green silk shirt with a thin pale yellow sweater with a black skirt that flared out. He wish he had his camera, Anne to him would always be beautiful but he loved the way that green and yellow complemented her pale skin with her black hair. She had straightened it, and it looked longer, she had the perfect amount of makeup. She smiled at him and made her way downstairs.

She was just as nervous, but she did not let it show as she confidently made her way to him. She knew he loved her curls, but she had liked how it looked last Saturday. She walked up to him, he had not moved and she started to second guess her appearance again. She wished she had asked Lexie, but she was sure that Lexie needed time to herself. Her worries disappeared when he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her passionately. She returned his kiss and was saddened when he suddenly pulled away.

"You did say your mother was not here correct?" She giggled and nodded, he kissed her again. "Sorry. It is just that you look beautiful. I could not help myself. Are you ready?"

"You look handsome as well, yes. Let me just inform the maid that I will be leaving and Lexie will be to."

"Lexie is here?"

"Um, yes." She said hesitantly. _Had John not told him yet? Should she?_ "I'll be back," she kissed him.

* * *

"Where are we going?" She asked him, he had told her it was a surprise but she was too stubborn and wanted to know.

"I have already told you it is a surprise. Do you not trust me?"

"Of course I do, I just like to know."

"Fair enough we will be arriving in about 20 to 30 minutes depending on the traffic." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes and he grabbed her hand. "Fine you win."

"Finally, and it only took avoiding the question 30 times to achieve. Now I know for next time."

She laughed, "Yes, or you could just tell me."

He leaned over and kissed her. "So Lexie decided to stay the night? Was she going to take the bus?"

"Yes, she was going to take the bus." She said quickly, obviously John had not told him.

"Why do I feel like there is something you are not telling me?" He asked playfully. She averted his gaze. "Anne is there something you are not telling me? Does it concern Lexie?" She nodded. "Damn it!" He released her hand and slammed his fist into the steering wheel. Anne jumped. "Did your cousin do anything to her?" She just shook her head no and dropped it.

"Anne," he grabbed her hand again and gave it a kiss. "I am sorry I did not mean to lose my temper. I was worried about her being out with him. Especially after all that has happened." He sighed. "Forgive me?"

"Of course I do. I know how you feel, I was worried as well."

"So what happened, why did she stay the night? She must have been upset; I know she has been leaning on you more."

"I would like nothing more than to tell you. You know I would, but I do not feel that it is my place. You know how Lexie is."

He nodded and became serious, he heard Anne sigh and squeeze his hand. "I will only tell you that William did not upset Lexie, and she is fine. She is actually happy." He looked at her surprised. "She is the happiest I have ever seen her. I suggest that you speak to John."

"John? What does he have to do with anything?"

"John and Lexie are dating."

"What!" He shouted and looked angrier.

"Stanley calm down," Anne said placing a hand on his arm. He calmed down instantly, he liked that she called him by his name. "Good, now do you remember how John asked Lexie to the concert?" He nodded keeping his breathing under control. "Well that is where Charlie took Jane and she ran into him. They sat together, and then parted ways. She went to dinner and that cold hearted bitch Caroline upset Lexie. She called John to pick her up. She stayed the night at his house and came over in the morning."

He started to breath hard. He knew that John had been with a lot of girls and now it seemed he was after his little Bee. He found it odd when John started showing an interest in Lexie. He thought that he just wanted to be her friend and knew that Lexie wanted to be John's friend, so he didn't think too much about them spending time together. "You know Lexie, I believe you taught her well." She said teasingly and he blushed. He was the one to tell Lexie about sex, she had asked after watching a movie he showed her. Lexie asked him all sorts of questions, she was always curious. He wondered how much she had told Anne, or how much Anne knew.

"I am sorry Anne, I did not mean to ruin our day together."

"Our day is not ruined, and I know how you feel about Lexie, I feel the same way." He nodded, "Good, now can you please tell me where you are taking me?" She looked at him and pouted. He wanted to grab her and kiss her.

"I was going to surprise you with a picnic, and then I was going to take you out for dessert." He said with a small chuckle.

Her eyes lit up and she got excited. "Really? That sounds great. I wish you would have told me I would have worn jeans."

"I think you look amazing. I love it when you wear green or yellow, and you wore both."

"Really I thought your favorite color was blue?" She asked hiding her smirk.

"It is and you look amazing in anything, but I don't know those colors on you-" he trailed off and she blushed.

* * *

They made it to a park and the sun was shining, he found them a spot in the shade and pulled a blanket out of the basket he had. He extended it he helped her sit and covered her legs with his sweater. He pulled out the supplies the cook had packed. They ate and spoke about what their plans were going to be after high school. The subject saddened both of them. He wanted to continue with photography but knew realistically that he would most likely be going to law school. Anne was going to continue with art, she had already spoken to her father about it. She knew her mother would disapprove; her mother wanted her to get married and start a family that is why she was trying to push her with Hurst. She wanted more for herself. At the same time they did not want to leave each other. They hopped that they would still be together, even if it was long distance. They had barley stated dating and there was still a whole school year, but they were happiest when they were together.

After they ate Hurst packed everything into the basket and looked around. There were not many people out today. He sat next to Anne and pulled her on top of his lap. They kissed and he just held her. They did not say anything, they sat there for a while enjoying being in each other's arms, before his legs started to feel numb. She stood up and they made their way to the SUV. Anne wanted ice cream even though it was a little cold and Hurst gave into her. He would never be able to deny her anything she wanted but it was fun to tease her. Afterwards Anne did not want to go home but it was getting colder, he decided to show Anne his pictures. They arrived at his house and Anne said hello to his mother. They spoke for a while, when Hurst had told her they needed to get some homework done. He had yet to tell his family that he and Anne were an item. His parents fancied a match between Lexie and him. They did not like Mrs. De Bough and feared that Anne was the same. He of course had told Anne, and they decided to keep their relationship a secret. They both liked it this way, but at the same time wished to share the news with the world.

She entered his room, though she had been in here many times before, it felt different. His chair was occupied with books and clothes, when he did not clear them off she sat on his bed. She would usually lie down or sit more comfortably but she found herself sitting with perfect posture at the edge. He grabbed his portfolio and sat down next to Anne. He noticed her blush lightly, but because of her pale skin, it was very noticeable.

"Are you alright Anne?" He asked worried she might be feeling ill.

"Yes," she squeaked.

"Please tell me what's wrong?" He put an arm around her shoulders and a hand to her cheek.

"This is a little- awkward."

"What is?"

"This," she pointed between the two of them.

He was confused, he did not notice anything different between them that would make things awkward. "I am afraid I do not understand."

"I mean that being in here is different now that we are dating."

He comprehended and blushed. He scooted back away from her. "Better?"

She got sad. "No," she stood and went to sit next to him, and she kissed him. "Better." She smiled pulling away and leaned onto him. She sighed.

"Is that all that was wrong?"

"No."

"Will you tell me, so I can make it better?"

"I am afraid it will make things bad."

"What do you mean, why would you make things bad?"

"Can we just forget it? I do not wish to talk about it."

"Anne," he said sternly. "I cannot just forget something that has upset you. You need to talk to me."

She nodded and gathered her courage, if Lexie could handle it, then so could she. "How many girls have you been with?"

He blushed. "You are the only girlfriend I've had Anne."

"That was not the question I asked you Stanley Harold Jacob Hurst."

"Anne," he pleaded. "Have I done anything that would make you think I wanted to take our relationship that far?" He asked worriedly. He had been a perfect gentleman, and did not know where this conversation was coming from.

She pulled away. "If you will not answer me than I wish to go home."

"Two ok two and they meant nothing to me nothing." He said standing up. "Anne I am a guy ok, and obviously that does not excuse anything. But I just want you to know that I would never and I mean never suggest that we do that."

"Why not ever?" She asked sounding hurt. She was, when Lexie had described her kiss with John, she had felt a ping of jealousy. Hurst had yet to kiss her that way.

He picked her up to hug her. "You mean a lot to me Anne, I have loved you for a long time. I would never ask or pressure you to do anything."

"You-you love me?" She asked shocked.

"Yes, truly and deeply, that is what I wanted to show you." He kissed her forehead and reached for the binder on his bed.

She accepted it and sat down. He watched as her as she turned each page looking at each with awe, and excited to turn each page. Her smile was priceless and he reached for one of his camera. She looked up when she heard the shutter. She smiled brightly and he took another photo.

"Stan, please. I think you have enough photos of me wouldn't you agree?" She said giggling as she turned the last page.

"No I don't, actually I do not have enough." He took another photo causing her to laugh. "You are my favorite subject to photograph, you know that?"

"Really?" She stood up and kissed him.

"Yes." He kissed her and then took a photo of both of them.

"Are those the only photos you have of me?"

"Of course not, I have plenty more. Would you like to see them?"

"I would love to."

He pulled out his laptop and pulled opened the files that contained the photos with her. She was so happy, and amazed. When she was finished she stood up and gave him a deep kiss. He returned it then she surprised him and ran her tongue across his lips and she ran her fingers through his hair.

He pulled away "Anne I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"Stanley, I love you too. I'm not a little girl anymore. I will be 18 in a couple of months. How long has that picture of the both of us been on your nightstand?"

"Since 6th grade." He blushed lightly.

"Ok, I would like you to replace it with a photo that Georgiana took. We are no longer just friends you are my boyfriend and I am your girlfriend." She pulled his head down to her with her hands pulling his hair. His eyes darkened and she kissed him again. This time when she demanded entrance he parted his lips willingly.

* * *

Sunday cont.

John's family had been happy to hear that the two were dating, even after Lexie had told them about herself. They also understood and appreciated why Lexie was not going to tell her family. Hurst had called John to get his side of the story and was surprised to see that Lexie was with him. Before John was able to tell him she grabbed the phone and told Hurst. He could hear the happiness in her voice and it calmed him. While he and John spoke Lexie sent the photo's to Gina as she had promised and also had wanted to see how she was doing. They IM'd and she was happy to hear that Gina was doing good and better, but did not press into what she had meant. She knew she was referring to the reason Will overreacted. She told Gina about her and John, and congratulated her on the photos she had taken. She even suggested that it would be a good hobby to get into seeing as she had a natural talent. They also spoke of music and Lexie sent her links of videos to look up.

John had left the room to speak to Hurst. He had not told him about him and Lexie because as far as Hurst knew he did not like Lexie as more than a friend. He also knew how protective Hurst was over her, and had wanted to tell him in person. He told Hurst that he had liked Lexie for a long time and realized that he loved her. The reason he had never said anything was because he thought Hurst loved her as more than a friend. Hurst was just happy to hear that John's intentions were good and sincere.

When Lexie arrived at Anne's she was smiling from ear to ear. Anne was shocked to see her, she had not recognized Lexie as she walked in. Having bangs really did make her look different and her hair was short making her wavy hair seem wavier. Lexie told Anne what happened at the salon and Anne was proud of her to. They video called Mary and Gina so that they may see. Mary and Gina were both happy for Lexie. Mary was happy to see that she was happy and smiling.

Later that night she awoke again from a nightmare. She did not want to disturb Anne, but could not fall asleep. She called John's phone just to hear his voice over voicemail. She left him a message apologizing and fell back asleep.

* * *

Monday

Before school started, John and Hurst came up to Anne's car and helped each of their girlfriends with their bags. John had allowed Hurst and Anne to walk ahead of them so he could speak to Lexie.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked looking in her eyes.

She averted her gaze and shut her eyes. "You know I do not like to answer that question."

"So not good?" He asked teasingly. She couldn't help herself. He made her happy.

She giggled. "I will indulge your question I am fine, I just had another nightmare."

"I'm sorry I didn't answer, my phone was on vibrate."

"No do not apologize, I am happy that I did not wake you."

"If you didn't want to speak to me why did you call?"

"Iustantdoheryouroice!" She said quickly. He smiled that cocky smile.

"I'm sorry I didn't quiet catch that."

"I just wanted to hear your voice," she said quietly and put her head down.

He lifted her chin up cupping it. She smiled at his touch but when he kissed her she pulled away. She looked around panicked. He looked hurt until she explained. She looked around again and gave him a quick peck.

As Lexie walked down the hallway, she was too happy to notice that her classmates, even teachers would stop to stare at her or do a double take. She had forgotten that she had cut her hair. She was in her own happy little world. It was lunchtime and Mary was going to stay to practice again. She was going for perfection. John and she had already found the song they wished to play, and they were going to be practicing it all week to achieve perfection. Mary had yet to tell anyone which song she was going to play. Only the teacher knew. She walked with John outside and when they sat held hands under the table. John had tried to kiss her before school and then put an arm around her as they walked down the hall. But Lexie was opposed to public displays of affection. She did not mind it if others did it. But to her the less attention she got was better. She did not even let John hold her hand walking in the hall, but he understood and enjoyed the fact that they were together.

"How is your experiment going?" He asked.

"To be honest I don't know." He looked at her questionably. "I have been in my own world I have not paid attention to others."

"Is everything ok? Are you feeling bad?" He asked worriedly.

She smiled brightly at him and squeezed his hand. "Everything is perfect." She looked around quickly and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

* * *

She would wake up breathing hard, happy she never woke up screaming. She would go outside to call John, every time he would answer. He was always incoherent, she could tell he was really sleepy, and loved that he would at least try to converse with her. She never kept him up more than a minute or two. She would go to his house after school and practice, eat dinner and just spend time with him. She was getting home later than she used to. They would lose track of the time talking about everything and nothing. They got to know each other more, Lexie opened up to him, and he to her. She was happy that her happiness had not gone away, and that she had decided to give him a chance. Sometimes they would not speak they would just lie or sit holding each other or kissing, making up for the school day. They would fall asleep in each other's arms. The rest of the week continued in the same fashion.

Friday:

The more time she spent with John the harder she was finding it to control her emotions at the house. It didn't help that Rose made her feel bad, about her hair "it made her face look rounder." She would keep her cool demeanor, and when she found herself getting angry she would try counting to ten. Once she reached ten she would just leave. She was also noticing Kitty and Lydia more than before. She would constantly hear them whispering and giggling when Rose would insult her. She knew they were speaking about her when she heard the name Debbie. It was not as if she had forgotten they would always call her that when she was younger. It appears where Rose failed to give her a middle name, she made up for it by giving her the nick name, always tell her not to be a Debbie Downer. She was happy to never see James. He was always in his study. Jane was in her own happy bubble. Apparently Charles had asked her out and she was on cloud nine. Lizzie would leave her alone as usual. She would just put on her headphones and listen to music, it seemed to help.

She woke up feeling bad, she read John's poem, and played with the charm under her shirt, but nothing helped. She wanted to call him, but she would see him at school and saw no point. She found herself hoping that seeing him would make her feel better. She was not disappointed and that made her feel better. She arrived to school earlier than usual and waited by the parking lot. She saw his car pull up and she went to greet him. When he saw her, he knew something was wrong. She looked desperate. He motioned for her to get in the car, and once she did she hugged him. He just held her and told her that he loved her.

Anne and Hurst had seen Lexie in class and they knew she was having a bad day. She was distant; they hated to see her this way. In between classes all three of them made a plan to go on a double date, hoping to cheer her up. Lexie was surprised to see Anne and Hurst waiting for her and John when it was lunchtime. She tried to smile as she walked up to them but it was sad. She felt better once she was holding John's hand. Anne had been right, when she invited her and John to go on a double date she smiled for the first time that day. She was excited that she would get to spend time with all of them. Lexie mentioned that they should all do something with Mary, sometime not wanting to leave her out.

John took Lexie to his house as usual, but she was not in the mood to practice today. She just wanted to be in his arms. Nicky and Nate had noticed and decided that they wanted to play with them. John was going to protest but noticed that Lexie lit up at the idea. They ended up playing tea for a while and Wii and then they helped Nicky with her homework.

After dinner Lexie and John went to his room and lied on the bed. He held her in his arms and it wasn't long until he felt her start to fall asleep.

"You should get under the covers darling." He said softly. He was a bit cold and could only imagine how she felt in her skirt.

She stirred. "No, I don't want to fall asleep." She said sounding like a child.

"But we always fall asleep. Come now, you must be tired, I know you stay up long after you call me."

"No. I am not sleepy at all." She made an attempt to sit up but couldn't.

"Why don't you want to take a nap today?"

_*"Don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep, 'Cause I'd miss you, baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing_." She said giggling sleepily and tried to give him a kiss with her eyes closed.

He chuckled, and leaned in for his kiss. He got out of bed and pulled the covers from his side. He walked over to her side and told her to scoot over. She was too sleepy to argue. He had become use to waking up and found he was not tired. He tucked her in and she smiled and opened her eyes a little. She reached up to cup his face in her hand. He saw that she was fighting to keep her eyes open, and smiled.

*"_Before you slip into unconsciousness, I'd like to have another kiss_-"

"_Another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss_." They sang together. He kissed her and then her forehead. Though he wasn't sleepy he lay awake holding her and looking at her. She looked so peaceful; he had never been able to do this. He would always fall asleep with her. When he dropped her off he just held her and told her how much he loved her. She knew she loved him, but still couldn't say it, only adding to her mood. He again told her that it was ok, she didn't need to say it, that he could feel it.

* * *

Saturday:

Lexie awoke feeling better, as if nothing had ever been wrong. She was upset that she wouldn't see John until their date later but was happy that she was going to see him today. Lizzie wanted to go for a walk alone so she decided to ride Aries. Jane had found her in the kitchen. She reluctantly came up to Lexie, and quietly asked her if she would not mind apologizing to Caroline. Lexie froze she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Jane noticed the hallow look in her eyes and went on to explain that Caroline wouldn't stop bitching about it, to her and Charlie, but in her nice Jane way. Lexie only nodded her head. Jane tried to hug her but Lexie did not return it, she just stood there. Jane felt hurt and left, she gathered apples into her pouch and took off. Heading towards the Bingley's, she listened to music trying to fight the wave of anger. She tied Aries to the fence and walked the rest of the way.

She rang the doorbell and Will answered. He was surprised to see her; at first he did not recognize her. Her hair was in a bun and her bangs were a little messy. She also seemed to be wearing clothes that fit her. He was more shocked to hear that she wished to speak to Caroline. He opened the door to let her in and he was walking into the living room but she stayed by the door. He looked at her questioningly.

"I was hoping to do this as quickly as possible."

"I am afraid you'll be disappointed if you wish to speak with _her."_

She closed her eyes as if in pain but agreed. She followed him to the living room, and sat while he went to get her.

Will walked into the kitchen and informed Caroline that Lexie was here to see her. He did not like the smug look on her face and followed her to the living room.

"Why Alexa! What a pleasant surprise I had no idea you were coming." She said, her voice failing to hide her lie. Will had wondered what she was doing up so early.

"Yes, well I just wanted to apologize for what I said to you last Saturday." Caroline looked at her expectantly and smiled. This bothered Lexie but she had a great tutor in Mrs. De Bough. "Caroline I am sorry for what I said to you, everyone has flaws and I should not have pointed yours out." Will wanted to laugh, but was glad for his steel demeanor. Caroline looked like she got slapped in the face.

"I should have not said those words to you, they were horrible and I am sorry I ruined your evening."

Caroline stood up affronted. "If you're not going to say sorry properly, then I do not forgive you!" She practically shouted.

"I see well that is you're right to do so. I've said my piece, I did apologize, now forgive me for taking up your time. Have a good day." Lexie made her way to the door and Caroline stood their looking like a fish.

She gave a nod to Will and passed him. She was surprised to see that he was walking her outside.

"You did not walk here did you?"

"No not today, well I walked from the fence, Aries is waiting for me."

"If you don't mind waiting, I was going to take Perses out. We'll be happy to walk you back to your house."

"I would not mind waiting but the thing is I was not going back. I was going to let him run."

"Would you mind the company?" He asked with a hint of hope.

"No I suppose not. No. I will wait by the fence."

He quickly went to get Perses.

"Thank you for waiting, I needed to get out of the house."

"Yes, I know the feeling." He looked at her hoping to say more but she said nothing.

"Wouldn't it be nice to have some sort of sanctuary in those times?" He asked.

_*"Can you give me sanctuary I must find a place to hide, a place for me to hide. Can you find me soft asylum I can't make it anymore the man is at the door."_ She sang emotionally.

He looked at her, "Sorry I was listening to the The Doors, on my way here."

"No it is fine, I think you have a lovely voice. The the Doors?" He asked puzzled.

She giggled and he couldn't help but give a small smile. "Yes, sorry it is an inside joke, John and I often share it has become a habit." He got angry at the mention of John's name. He couldn't fathom why, he knew they were dating.

"Is this a private joke?" He asked sternly.

"You see there is a band by the name of The Chariot. They had the best bumper stickers. My favorite was. "The one the only the The Chariot." Hence the joke, "The" Doors. Another was "I 'heart' my The Chariot." They were spoofs if you will."

"I see." He said not comprehending.

"No, but it is alright. You see the name of the band is _The_ Doors, or _The_ Chariot, right?" He nodded. He was startled that her trying to explain did not offend his ego. "There is another band called Editors. Some people would say, have you heard of the Editors, which is correct. Along with have you heard of The Doors, also correct. But in the latter question you leave out the The from the name of the band. Does that make more sense?"

"Yes?"

She giggled again. "I must be a horrible teacher then."

"No I understood, it just takes a while to comprehend, like all things." He said thinking of her.

*"It doesn't matter how you reach the pot of gold, all that matters is that you beat the leprechauns."

"What?" She started giggling, and then broke out laughing. He found himself joining in.

"I think it makes perfect sense, it does not matter how you achieve your goal, as long as it is achieved. It's from Family Guy." She said smiling.

Lexie stopped at the same place as last time and got off, Will followed her lead and began to help her. She was going to protest. "I know you do not need my help but it is appreciated and welcomed?" He said in a flirtatious manor.

She smiled brightly and nodded. Once finished she clicked her tongue and he sprinted off.

"How did you teach him to do that?"

"One gives a command to a horse using their legs, since I got him, I would do that before he started to run, and then I'd feed him an apple for complying. I suppose the same way one trains a dog?"

"I see, why would you need to command him to run though? Horses do that on their own."

A sad look came into her eyes. "Not Aries, I would spend my whole day watching him, at first outside with him and then from the house. The others would, but never him." She said sadly.

"Does it have something to do with why he won't allow others to ride him?" She looked at him skeptically.

She hugged her knees to her chest and nodded. "He was abused. I got him when he was 7, and I was 10."

"Your father got you an abused horse?" He said angrily.

"It _was_ cheaper than what he paid for Jane's. No one wanted him, they thought he was damaged. But I loved him from the start, and I asked James for him. I could see the hurt and pain in his eyes, and I wanted to heal him. Show him that even though the world and humans are cruel, that there is beauty, and that not all humans are cruel, that he was wanted."

"That is a beautiful way of looking at it."

"In truth I do not like to see others feel the way that I do. No one should have to feel this way." She said quietly. He sat across from her and placed a hand on her knee. She gave him a small smile.

She leaned against the saddle on the floor and reached into her pouch. "Apple?" Will nodded and she handed him two. "For Perses." She giggled at his confused expression. As on cue Perses came over and took the apple from his hand leaving drool. He would have gotten angry, but remembered to control his temper.

He looked at her expecting for her to laugh and was surprised that she handed him a disinfectant wipe. "You never know when you'll need one." She shrugged.

"I am sorry for making you feel unwanted." He said running a hand through his hair. "I hope I did not always make you feel that way." He said thinking about what he overhead.

"No you did not," was all she said. "There is no need to apologize Will, what you said has some truth to it. I think it may have helped me."

"How can being told those awful words help you?"

"Well John wanted to be my friend and I did not want a repeat of what happened so the day after I opened up to him. Long story short he is taking me out tonight with Anne and Hurst."

"It seems that there should be more to the story."

"There is, but I hate to tell long stories, I start to ramble making the story longer."

"I see, but you do forgive me?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes, I do. Do not worry over it Will, I did forgive you that day, but I truly forgave you after speaking with John."

"I do not believe for one minute he convinced you to forgive me."

"No, no one wanted me to forgive you. After speaking with him, I realized that I only told you the short version. I had only meant to tell him what I told you but I ended up telling him more. He's the only one I've ever let in."

"What about your doctor?"

"Why do you care?"

"Can I ask you something?" She nodded. "Why did you not allow Georgie to tell you what happened?"

"It wouldn't have changed what you said to me, it wouldn't have changed how I saw her. If she wishes to tell me she may, but on her own accord. Not because she feels the need to."

"I was hoping that we could start all over and be friends. I have noticed a change in Georgie you know, I was wrong, you're a good person Alexa."

"So you would like to start over and be friends?" She asked standing up.

He followed her lead and stood, hopping she wouldn't leave. "Yes I wish to be your friend."

She had an unreadable expression, and she extended her hand. "Hello, I am Alexandra Bennet, it is nice to meet you." She said smiling.

"Hello, Fitzwilliam Darcy, it is nice to meet you. Please call me Will." He smiled at her showing her his dimples.

"Very well you may call me Alexa." His smile fell a little. "But if you wish to be my friend I give you leave to call me Lexie." He smiled and held her hand longer than necessary. She pulled it away and looked out to Aries. He wanted to touch her, and ran a finger through her bangs. She was startled.

"You look different with bangs." He told her stepping closer.

"How would you know if we just met?" She smirked at him.

_* Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together, Brighter than a lucky penny, When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear, And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine._

He cringed when he heard her phone ring, thinking it was John. When she bent down he couldn't help but stare at her butt.

"Hey Annie! What's up!-Anne the phone only rang for 20 seconds-" She giggled, "Yes, I would love to-I'm going to rummage through the closet, but I am sure I need to go shopping.-I know can you believe it _me _wanting to go shopping?-Ok love I will see you in two hours."

She whistled calling Aries back. "You're not leaving yet are you?" He asked worryingly.

"No I just thought he would like some apples."

He came up to her and she fed him one and sat back down, looking at the view. She closed her eyes and leaned back on her hands enjoying the sun. Thinking about John, and tonight, she seemed to be glowing. He watched her wondering how he ever thought she was only plain. She was beautiful. Aries went up to her and brushed her face, causing her to laugh. She handed him another apple and tossed one at Will. He almost didn't catch it. He walked over to Perses and fed him.

"So, _Annie's_ going to pick you up?"

"Do not let her hear you calling her by that name. But yes, in two hours, we're going to get ready for our date."

"I see," he seethed. "Are you so vain it takes you hours to get ready?"

"No, you have to be in love with yourself to be vain. I cannot believe you would compare me to Caroline." She said nonchalantly.

"I-"

"I know it's ok, I took no offence. I have never been on a date before, though I know John would find me beautiful no matter how I looked." She blushed looking out at nothing. "I can't remember ever caring about how I looked." She touched her bangs. "Well I remember feeling bad when I was younger, which changed to content, and now I find myself questioning. I know he thinks I'm pretty, but I know I am plain." She smiled brightly. "I suppose I want to look my best for him."

"You are beautiful Lexie!" He said subconsciously. "What about our date last Saturday?" He asked somewhat hurt.

"Thank you," she said quietly then blushed. "Last Saturday, was not a date for us Will. It was a group outing. But to answer your first question, it will take me at the most three hours." She giggled.

"I see," he said standing up abruptly and making his way towards Perses. "Would you mind if I rode him, I do not want him to get anxious?" He said trying to control his emotions.

"No, would it be all right if Aries ran with you? Like last time?" He nodded no and took off. Lexie stood and went over to hug Aries. She gave him a kiss and clicked her tongue a while after Will had rode off. As she saw him running to race she felt a tear fall from her eye. It had not taken as long as the websites said it would to train Aries, they were kindred spirits, and bonded almost instantly. He still would not run, and she feared, being younger that he never would.

Will was pushing Perses harder than usual. He remembered the last time he did this was after the whole Wickham incident. Now he was angry but did not know why. What was it about her that he could not control his emotions? He found it hard to speak with Elizabeth and wished he could be at ease around her. With Alexa, it was easy to speak to her, but he could not stop himself from getting angry. It irked him greatly; did he have feeling for Alexa now too? No, she had a boyfriend. One who was better than him. He decided that it would be best to distance himself from Alexa, but knew he couldn't he already told her that he wanted to be friends. He sighed as he slowed down and trotted towards her. He saw her big smile and knew he couldn't hurt her again, saying he wished to distance himself would most likely make her feel bad. Her smile faded he approached.

"What's wrong?" She asked him.

"Nothing."

"Lair, I can see it in your eyes you know? But I will not press you. I know how you feel. I understand."

"Thank you."

"Thank you for allowing Aries to tag along, it brings me great joy to see him run." He was avoiding her gaze. She gave both horses an apple and started to get Aries ready. He got down and helped her neither saying a word. She thanked him when they were finished and took off.

***Aerosmith- I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing**

***The Doors- The Crystal Ship**

***The Doors- The Soft Parade**

***Stewie Griffin- Family Guy**

***Lesley Gore- Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter. It isn't as dark as I thought it was going to be, I left that for the next chapter. Thank you for your reviews, those of you who read and follow. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice all right belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 26

Today Lizzie had wanted to go walking. She needed to think, the past week at school, had been odd. Billy Collins was trying to converse with her more, and even started sitting with them. Luckily Charlotte would keep him occupied. Ugh he was always going off about what a great teacher Mrs. De Bough was, and that he was her favorite student. The good part of all of this was that he would keep trying to talk to Darcy, meaning he did not get to talk to her. She didn't know what had triggered Collins, she never spoke to him, he was a goody two-shoes and she was somewhat of a trouble maker, then bam all of a sudden on Tuesday he sought her out. She was just happy they didn't share any of the same classes.

She looked up and stopped in her tracks. She was shocked at the sight before her. Lexie and Darcy were riding side to side and actually talking. She could even see a smile on their faces. She even saw them both laughing? It was not possible Lexie did not smile, and Lexie did not laugh. She doesn't even know Darcy! And him, he is the last person in the world she thought was cable of smiling, let alone laughing. She decided to watch them for a bit, they had not noticed her so far. She was beyond baffled and seething as she ran back to the house. She needed to release some of her anger. As she had kept watching he saw that he touched her knee, and later it looked like he was about to kiss her until her phone rang. What was it about Lexie that Darcy liked? How could he like Lexie and not her? She stopped in her tracks. Why did she care if he liked Lexie better than her? If she thought about it they would actually make a perfect couple. Both were always in a bad mood, both thought they were better than everyone else. What did she care? Let the both of them be miserable together.

She ran up to her room, wanting to get into the shower as quickly as possible. She had realized that she went further than she intended to, and was more sweaty than usual. As she walked to the restroom she could hear Jane on the phone.

"Yes, I know Caroline, I am sorry-I will speak to her when she gets here-Ok-Yes-Thank you, and again I'm sorry-Ok-Ok-Bye." She fell onto her bed.

"What's a matter Janey?" She asked walking in.

"I asked Lexie to apologize to Caroline and she went over this morning only making things worse."

"What! Why would you ask her to apologize Jane? Caroline's the one who should apologize to Lexie!"

"Well she said she was going to, until Lexie insulted her again. I just wanted everyone to be friends you know? That way we could all go out again."

"Jane, I know you want everyone to get along, but sometimes things are better left alone. Like Lexie. What did she say this time?"

"She said "Caroline, I am sorry for what I said to you, everyone has flaws, and I should not have pointed yours out." And Caroline refused to accept her apology, and Lexie was fine with that and left."

Lizzie started laughing, "Lizzie that isn't funny, she's madder than she was before."

"Oh Jane, Caroline is over reacting, she just wants to complain about something."

"Yes, now it will be all Charlie will hear about, and then he'll tell me about it, along with Caroline. Why couldn't she just be normal Lizzie! How hard is it to say I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things to you, or I'm sorry I insulted you?"

"Ja-"

"It is not so hard to say those things when one means them Jane. You asked me to apologize and I did, if she doesn't like it then that is her problem. If you would like to ask Will if he thought I was rude you may he was there. I certainly doubt that he found it rude though." Lexie said at the door way. Jane looked like she was about to puke.

"Lexie I am so-"

"Sorry? Why Jane because I am not normal?" She asked angrily.

"No Lexie I didn't mean to say that, it's just that it's all Charlie talks about, and Caroline won't leave me alone, I just want everyone to be happy."

"The thing is Jane, the world is a cruel place, and people are cruel. Your wish for everyone to be happy is bull. You stay in your little happy bubble because then you can be ignorant of how the world really is. You asked me to apologize and I did, she did not accept. What did you want me to do get on my knees and beg her?" Lexie said failing to control her temper.

"Lexie-" Lizzie started.

"What's going on in here!" James said walking by.

"Nothing dad, just girl talk right guys?" Lizzie said teasingly.

"Right, just girl stuff dad." Jane said trying to sound happy.

"Lexie?" He asked in a clipped tone.

"Everything is fine sir, I was just leaving."

"Where are you going?" He asked startling her. Since when did he care?

"To the De Bough's to practice for the concert this Friday. I know how much the noise gives Rose a headache." She said indifferently.

He looked at all three of them, and then stayed staring at Lexie trying to see if she was lying. She kept her head up, and met his gaze. "Good, I expect an excellent performance."

"Of course sir." She said and he left allowing her to leave before Jane and Lizzie could stop her.

"Oh, my gosh Lizzie, I can't believe I said that about her, I can't believe she heard me. She must hate me now." Jane said wiping away a tear.

"She doesn't hate you Jane, she just needs time by herself ok?" Jane nodded and Lizzie gave her a hug.

Lexie went to her room and gathered her things, she was staying the night at Anne's and now she had to take her violin. She called Anne asking if she could come for her sooner. Anne told her she was on her way. Lexie gathered her things and went to wait outside. She was angry and couldn't wait for Anne, she walked to the edge of the driveway to wait by the rode and called John. At first he was worried that she was cancelling, but then he got mad when Lexie explained what had happened. They spoke until Anne arrived and Lexie threw her things in the car.

* * *

"The thing is, Anne I can't stay mad at Jane. I know that she wants everything to be peace and love all the time, I can understand why she is upset and asked me to apologize."

"I know you can Lexie, but let us forget about it and think about tonight!" She said knowing she needed to get Lexie to her happy place. Anne was upset, and wished for nothing more than to make Lexie see that Jane was wrong, but she knew Lexie had made up her mind about it.

Lexie smiled, "You are right of course! So have you decided what to wear? How should we dress? Do you know where they are taking us?"

"No I have not decided, most of my dresses are blue thanks to my mother and I wanted something that he would like. And Hurst said it was a surprise."

"Anne, Hurst would like you in anything you wear."

"I know, but I want him to, um well. I don't know how to say this." She blushed a dark red.

"You want something sexy?" Lexie asked trying not to giggle.

"Yes," Anne answered quietly.

"Anne I know you don't want him to see you as a little girl anymore-"

"It's not just that, I know he sees you as his sister and I don't want him to see me that way. I want him to think I'm sexy, I want him to want me, do you know what I mean?"

"Yes, I do. Can you believe our luck, we have two perfect gentlemen?"

"You're the lucky one, you have already slept with John more than once. I want that with Stanley."

"Anne, my sweet sweet Anne, you know it's not a competition, and that nothing has happened. I believe you are right though so we shall find you the most scandalous but tasteful thing. I think we should invite Mary."

"Yes you are right, call her and tell her we are on our way."

"Hey Mary! What are you doing?-Ok well Anne and I need help-We're going shopping and-Yes, we'll be there in about 15 minutes-Ok-See you soon-Love you."

* * *

Will was looking through his email. He was trying to avoid Caroline and her constant whining about Lexie's apology. _Lexie_, he started to think about her, she really was an enigma. He shook the though from his head and opened his latest email from Georgie. He was happy to see that she sounded animated. She told him that she had started to play the guitar more and was trying to make up songs. Then she shared some links. He clicked on them and it was her playing. She looked so happy, and he was surprised that she was playing so well. He found himself laughing at a video of an animated baby playing the guitar coming up with a song, and a dog walking in, calling him a douche. At the end he realized that it was Family Guy, a show Lexie had mentioned. He watched more clips, and although some were funny, others were not. He was baffled at how someone like Lexie could like this show. But there was no one like her. Other videos were of songs that Georgie wanted to learn. He was surprised at the music she was listening to and questioned her about it. As he kept reading, she was asking him what he had thought of her taking up photography. She shared with him a link and asked him to tell her his honest opinion. Some he had already see, the ones she took when she came to visit and others were newer and of people he did not know. He told her that they were all really good.

It seemed that Charlie was going to go on an official date with Jane, but for some reason asked him to go. He had to think of a way out and told him that he had plans already to go to his aunts. Charlie looked downfallen but understood. He felt bad lying to Charlie but he knew that if he had gone Caroline would have also gone. She always got her way, well not always. Now he was in a tight spot, he knew he would have to leave, but did not know where to go. Going to his aunts alone was out of the question; he already knew Anne would not be there. Then he remembered Anne still owed him a favor and he quickly called her.

* * *

"Mary, would you like to come out with us?" Anne asked.

"No, I don't want to be a third wheel."

"You would actually be the spare tire." Lexie said.

"Lexie!" Anne hit her playfully.

"What! That is not a bad thing; it's always good to bring a spare."

"Haha Lexie!" Mary said pretending to be hurt.

"The good thing is you would not be the only spare."

"What do you mean Anne?" Mary said giggling.

"Well, I just got off the phone with William, and he asked if he could crash or date."

"What why?" Lexie asked.

"Well apparently he does not want to go out with his friend Charles or Caroline, and said he was coming over to my house." Both girls nodded for her to continue, "Long story short, this would throw my mother off about Hurst and I. Lexie please tell me it's fine and Mary please agree to go."

"I have no problems with it Anne, but you must speak with Hurst, I will ask John."

"Of course I will come; I just wish I had an actual date."

* * *

John was in a bad mood, the last thing he wanted was another guest, let alone Darcy. He was trying to control, his temper as they walked into the De Bough's. They were shown into the living room where Darcy was waiting and he was happy to see that Mrs. De Bough was not there. They said hello to each other sternly and tried to make small talk. His anger faded when he saw her. She was wearing an off shoulder lacy black dress, that hugged her body, but was not too tight. It went mid-thigh and she was wearing black high heels, her hair was in a loose side bun. She had that smile on her face, he went up to her their eyes locked on each other and he gave her a deep kiss. Her heels brought her head up right under his nose. She hugged him, and he could feel her relax when he returned it. He looked at her and told her that she was beautiful, and then he saw that the necklace was exposed. He knew she always wore it, but she always hid it, he smiled brightly and she seemed to understand.

"So are you too ready or not?" Mary asked trying not to giggle.

They both looked at her with questioning glances, but he composed himself "Yes."

As they put in their sweaters he looked at Anne for the first time, she had a green backless dress that stopped above her waist. The skirt flared out at her hips and reached the floor. Mary had a cream colored silk shirt and a pencil skirt that went past her knees. He looked at Hurst and found that he had his mouth open staring at Anne's back, and then he looked at Darcy and saw that he was looking at Lexie. His Lexie. He made his way to help her with her sweater and gave her another kiss. She smiled at him; she was trying to suppress a laugh and reached into her purse. She pulled out a baby wipe and wiped his mouth, showing him he had gotten lipstick. As they walked to Hurst's SUV his hand rested on the curve of her back.

Anne and Hurst sat in the front then Mary and Will, and he and Lexie in the back. They would all converse with each other except Darcy, who looked like he wished to be anywhere but there. They arrived at the restaurant and entered.

"Do you know how to read in French William?" Anne asked once the menus had been handed out.

"Yes," he replied curtly.

She just smiled and nodded. Once they ordered he broke the silence.

"What other language do you speak Lexie?" He asked and everyone looked at him like he had grown two heads. "I remember Elizabeth mentioning you speak three languages?"

She felt John's hand on her knee tighten and placed a hand over it. "I of course speak English, French, and Spanish fluently and some Latin and Italian. Do you know any other languages?"

"I can speak English as well," he gave her a small smile, "French, and Mandarin."

"Just like John!" Hurst chipped in.

"I actually speak Spanish, Italian, and Latin too." He said in a clipped tone.

As they ate Will would glance towards Lexie, and when he didn't he noticed that Hurst and Anne could not keep their eyes off each other, Mary stayed quiet and ignored him. John was shooting daggers at him, and Lexie always seemed to have her eyes on John. After they finished they ate dessert, and soon were heading to another destination. When they arrived he could hear music coming from the building and by the looks of it, was a dance club. They entered and he looked around everyone there seemed to be around their age. They sat at a booth and he noticed Lexie was uncomfortable. John and Hurst went to get drinks and Mary and Anne went to the restroom leaving him and Lexie alone.

"Are you alright?" He asked her.

She shook her head no and looked around and then she ducked. He looked and saw John was speaking to a girl and pointed this way. He and Hurst came up. John tried putting an arm around her, which she rejected. They whispered in each other's ear. The same girl he had spoken to came up to the table.

"Hey John, I was wondering if you wanted to dance?"

"He would love to right John?" Hurst cut in.

He looked at Lexie and reluctantly agreed. Lexie stood up and went to find Anne and Mary. He looked at Hurst like he was the worst. Hurst seemed to understand what he was implying.

"I told John coming here was a bad idea. Lexie does not dance, nor does she like to be in crowded places. Not to mention that the whole damn school comes here."

"So no one knows they are dating?"

"Only the people that matter to Lexie know." He said as matter of fact.

Anne and Mary came back with Lexie holding onto them for strength. They sat and it seemed like all of them were set on staying put. Then Hurst let out a soft cry and looked at Lexie. She was pointing her head to Anne and then to the dance floor. Hurst look skeptical and Mary waved to him and place an arm around Lexie. Anne who was looking sadly at the dance floor did not notice. He asked her to dance and she smiled brightly then at Lexie hesitantly, Lexie just smiled and nodded. Later a boy came up to the table and asked Mary to dance. She looked downfallen and was about to answer, when Lexie answered yes for her.

"Being in my shoes one would think I was going to disappear into thin air."

"They seem worried about you."

"I know they are, but I do not want them to sacrifice their happiness because they think I will break."

"They must love you."

"They do."

"So why are you not dancing?" He asked.

"I thought we had this conversation already."

"You just said you do not like to draw attention to yourself, but I feel there is more."

"I do not know how to dance."

"Really, but you love music and the way you play and sing."

"I know how to ballroom dance, only because of etiquette class. It just feels silly to me, and I can feel the rhythm but I cannot move my feet. Why do you not dance?"

"I find I can never enjoy myself, I know how to dance I just never feel like it."

"That makes perfect sense; I hate how people assume the worst of us wall flowers, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, someone might be looking at us right now." She dug herself deeper into the chair, and he noticed she scratched herself, "thinking that we must be in a bad mood, horrible dancers, or that no one would want to dance with us. Why can't people just mind their own business and leave us be? Why do we have to judge and criticize one another?"

"Are you referring to the welcome party?" He said teasingly.

"No to life in general."

John came to sit with an apologetic look on his face. "Would you like to dance Lexie?" He asked hopefully. She looked behind him and into the crowd of people.

She said no, and looked fearful. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" He went to cup her face and she pulled away.

"Hey John! Another girl in an ill fitting dress came up to the table. Do you wanna dance?"

"No, thank you!"

"Come on for old times' sake? I promise I won't bite if you don't want me to."

"Taylor-" he said angrily.

"Just go John." Lexie said quietly. He sighed and took off.

Will saw as the girl lead him to the dance floor and but her arms around his neck pulling him to her. He unhooked her hands and she turned and started grinding into him. He looked at Lexie who was watching the whole thing. Her eyes glossed over.

"Would you like to step outside?" She nodded eagerly and they took off.

It was chilly outside and he noticed she didn't have her sweater; he took off his blazer handing it to her.

"No! Please, I like the cold; I need to be cold right now. I need to focus on one thing."

"He shouldn't have danced with her, they clearly have a history, didn't he see it would make you upset?" he said seething.

"Will, it isn't a big deal. I know he didn't want to dance with her, or the other girl. I know he only did it to appease me."

"That does not make any sense."

"Hence every ones problem when it comes to me, I do not make sense."

"Lexie! What are you doing out here without a sweater!" Mary came up to her.

"I am fine Mary, fine ok? Go back inside I'll be there shortly."

"Fine but when you get sick don't come crying to me." She said walking away.

He placed the blazer over her and she was going to protest, but looking at his steel mask she knew it would be pointless. They went back inside and once it got later they left. Once at the house, Will thanked them all for a the night out and even offered to take Mary home, since Lexie was going to stay the night.

* * *

The Concert:

Wednesday she and John had rehearsed but she did not stay for dinner. James had told her that he expected her home at 6 so that he may hear the piece she was going to play on Friday. He was not happy that she was going to play a duet, and demanded that she change it to a solo. She told him that she could not leave her partner, and the teacher had already made the schedule. He was more upset when he found out that she would be the last person playing. It meant that he would have to be there for the whole concert. She played the song for him and all he did was critique her badly about her swaying.

Friday:

Will was upset that he was being dragged to another event with Charlie. Jane had invited him to watch Lexie play since he had expressed how much he had enjoyed it the first time, and how much he liked seeing The Orchestra. It was a lame excuse for a date on her part he thought. He was however happy that he and Charlie would be taking Jane and Lizzie. The Bingley's had also been invited but were going in their own vehicle. Lizzie was upset that Jane had asked her to go with her. It meant that she would be sitting with Darcy instead of her own family. As usual her mother made sure all of them were dressed for the occasion. She was wearing a long spaghetti strapped red dress and had dark red lipstick. Her curls were more tamed and appeared curlier if at all possible. She had no idea why she took time on her appearance and told herself it had nothing to do with Darcy and the fact that he liked Lexie better. Jane wore a dress similar to hers, but hers was an olive green dress and her hair was in a perfect bun. Will had tried to make small talk, but Lizzie was avoiding him and made conversation with Jane and Charlie. They arrived at the school's auditorium. Will was surprised the school looked like a college, more than a high school. It was gated and he noticed that the front gate was in the shape of the entrance to a castle. The building was stone, and there were small pieces of wall that looked like a castle wall. The crest was a shield. He saw that they had valet parking, but decided to park his own car. As they walked to the front he could tell that he was amongst people of his social sphere and was more at ease. Charlie was not as use to it, like Jane but both seemed comfortable. Lizzie however was not. She looked around and saw that everyone had their noses in the air, reminding her of Darcy and Caroline. She was upset that Lexie would be playing last as well. She knew she would have to stay until the end watching all the boring acts. She hated this school; it looked like an old prison.

They sat behind her family and she could see her Aunt and Uncle Phillips sitting with them, but her father was missing. She looked around and saw Anne and Hurst were there along with Mrs. De Bough. Darcy went to say hi to them. She saw that they looked at her direction and did not even bother to give her any form of acknowledgment. An act which upset her further, she was surprised to see Billy Collins there but did not think too much of it. Darcy returned and sat next to her, his seat next to Charlie had been taken, leaving the one next to her available. She sat still, only putting her arm on the arm rest next to Jane. Throughout the entire concert she was uncomfortable. She would look towards Darcy every now and then and concluded that he too was uncomfortable around her. She would also turn towards him when she thought that he was looking at her. But every time she did his eyes were fixed on the stage. He however would stare at her, she looked amazing in red and her dark red lipstick. His height gave him the advantage of averting his gaze to the stage knowing when she was going to turn her head.

Backstage Mrs. Hill the teacher was in hysterics. Apparently several of the students had gotten stomach flu and were not going to be able to play. She was running around with her assistant trying to figure the next best thing to do. She found Lexie and told her that her father was lucky. Lexie asked her why and Mrs. Hill mentioned that James had cornered her and demanded that Lexie be allowed to play twice. Lexie was shocked and told her that she was more than happy playing once but Mrs. Hill told her that she actually need to play twice. The students who had taken ill were two violinists and three cellists, and one viola player. Lexie agreed and was told she was going to be playing after Mary's performance. John was asked to play a duet with one of his friends and they had left to go practice.

She tried to go through the lists of songs that she knew at the top of her head. She tried to think of one that would please James, but found herself second guessing each choice.

It was finally Mary's turn and she went next Mrs. Hill. She was standing behind the curtain watching. Mary played the first couple of notes, but could not place it. It wasn't until she started to play the melody that she recognized the song. *_Skrillex, First of the Year (Equinox)_. People seemed to notice that it was not a traditional classical song, but technically it was classical. When she finished the song, there were a few claps, mostly people coughing uncomfortably, and a few laughter's could be heard. But Mary bowed gracefully and left. She went behind the curtain and hugged Lexie, with tears in her eyes. Lexie asked what was wrong and Mary told her that no one clapped for her but Anne and Hurst. Lexie told her the song was amazingly played, and that she played with great emotion. Mary smiled until some other pianists passed her laughing and pointing.

Lexie was angry. Mary had played the piano well, she had practiced it for weeks, she did something amazingly different, and she was shunned for it. How she felt all the time, rejected for how she thought, how she was. Mrs. Hill went to introduce her, stating that there was going to be a change in the schedule for the next set of performers. John had come and found her and told her to break a leg, and gave her a hug. She asked him to look after Mary until she finished. She looked into his eyes, he had not rejected her, he wanted her, and he loved her. She was overwhelmed with love for him and gave him a kiss not caring that others would see. He was to say the least shocked.

She walked to the middle of the stage people clapping. She was wearing a dark grey elastic waist ruffle stand collar sleeveless dress. It hugged her perfectly and went down to the floor. Anne and she had gone to buy it after school today. Her hair was up in a loose but elegant bun. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes thinking about John, and all his moods. He had a different smile for everything, but her favorite was his own special smile for her, when she would kiss him or catch her staring at him. She was happy that the lights were blacking out the crowd. She closed her eyes and had a big smile as she played thinking of only him. _* She's got a smile that it seems to me, Reminds me of childhood memories, Where everything,_ _Was as fresh as the bright blue sky. _She finished and bowed, she could hear a couple of people applauding. She knew Anne and Hurst were amongst them. She walked of the stage and was met by a pair of arms. It was Mary, she was giggling. "You did not have to do that Lexie." "Do what?" "I love you!" Mary said. "I love you too". John came up to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She smiled. He was next and he had a mischievous smile on his face. She stayed hugging Mary, ignoring her other classmates. Mrs. Hill came up to her and told her good job. That she had really improved her fiddle style.

Lizzie could not be anymore embarrassed, and imagined that Jane felt the same way. When Mary came out , she heard Jane tell Charlie, Mary was her cousin. Clearly Darcy heard her too. She knew which song Mary was playing. Others just knew it wasn't normal. She wanted to glance at Darcy so she played it off as looking around. He was in his usual mood, and quietly applauded. She was surprised to hear that Lexie was next and was happy Lexie would not embarrass them. She knew Lexie did not like to be embarrassed or negative attention. Unfortunately Lexie had been replaced by an alien and she decided to play Sweet Child O' Mine. She sunk further into her seat. She was happy when she thought the song was coming to an end, but no luck. When she finished Lizzie and Jane were too embarrassed to clap for her. She was grateful that Charlie was nice enough to applaud and was shocked to see that Darcy was actually applauding. Darcy was amazed by how fast she had been moving at one point. She still had that big smile on her face though, knowing that she was going to suffer the same fate as Mary, and Will respected her for it.

John was so happy and proud of Lexie. He couldn't believe it when she kissed him, he wanted do it again but did not want to push her. The small kiss was a huge step for her. He knew when she went out there something amazing was going to happen, and it did. When he saw her playing it was as if time slowed down. He could feel how happy she was playing. She was of course an excellent player and always played with such emotion, but she was radiating. He decided to change the song that they were going to perform. He knew Frank would not mind, and luckily for him they would always practice together and they both knew a particular song very well. When Lexie came up to them she was still glowing, he decided to kiss her on the forehead. _Baby Steps_. They walked out and sat in the chairs placed for them to the sound of clapping.

Will had completely forgotten that John was a cellist and was surprised to see him and the boy that asked Mary to dance at the club. They began to play an elegant song, and he looked conceited while playing. Then the song started to speed up and everyone looked confused. Then it was clear that they also decided to play a non-traditional song. *ACDC Thunderstruck. Will could see two kids in the front bouncing in their seats. By the end of the song their bows were ruined and again only a few claps could be heard. The children, clapping and cheering.

Going backstage John felt two sets of arms around him, and he returned the hugs.

"Oh, John, you really shouldn't have." Mary said crying.

"He wasn't alone out there you know?" Frank said and Mary gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. They both blushed and pulled away.

"John! I hope you have another bow with you." Lexie said sounding a bit panicked.

"No need to worry, I can borrow one from someone who got sick, or hasn't ruined theirs."

"Ok," she said and held onto him. He couldn't help but smile, as they walked backstage. People were staring and he felt Lexie bury her face into him. He told her it was ok, to ignore them, she just nodded but did not move her face. It was officially their turn to play and they walked up to the curtain. Mrs. Hill introduced them and only a few people clapped. He could see that Lexie was now uncomfortable. He asked her if she was ready to rock the show, and she smiled and suppressed a laugh. They began to play and it was just the two of them, the crowd was forgotten. They would look at each other constantly and played in perfect unison.

Will was mesmerized, they both were talented and played with such emotion. It was as if he was watching a private moment between the two of them. They just connected too well. At the end of the song they were awarded with a room full of claps. They hugged each other and bowed. As they were walking backstage they were greeted with applause and they hugged again. This time she kissed him, and held his face in her hands. She couldn't contain it anymore she had to tell him. He had to know. But Mrs. Hill asked all the performers to the stage and they all went for one last bow.

They gathered their things and made their way to the entrance, where strangers complimented them. Lexie was held back by Mrs. Hill and a couple of parents. She found him speaking to his family and Nicky and Noah went to hug her and gave her two roses. She hugged them back and went to say hi to Jenny, Helen, and Noah. She saw her family walking up to her and her demeanor changed, all but the children noticed.

"Oh Alexa My dear! That was such a wonderful performance, I am so proud of you!" Rose screeched her voice filled with insincerity. "Aren't you going to introduce us to your partner?"

"Yes, this is my friend Johnathan Drake, his sister Jennifer, his niece Nicole, nephews, Nathanial, and Noah, and his grandmother Helen. This is my family, James, Rose, Jane, Elizabeth, Catherine and Lydia."

"Oh Mrs. Drake, you have a handsome grandson, and very talented as well," Rose said pulling away Helen. Jenny saw some friends and went to say hello, John went to help her with the kids. Jane and Lizzie gave her hugs, and Kitty and Lydia went to go flirt with boys. Jane and Lizzie went to go find Charlie and Lexie was stuck with James. She saw the blackness in his eyes and all Lexie wanted to do was run. She turned to go find John but was stopped by a hand gripping her shoulder. She slowed her breathing to control the pain, which only seemed to increase. "Alexa, what was that performance? What happened to the two songs you were allowed to choose between? You have no idea how embarrassing it is, first Mary then you. Did you think I would let this insubordination go unpunished?" She didn't answer him, she couldn't. He turned her forcibly around, "You will answer me when I speak to you, is that understood?" She still didn't answer he was gripping her shoulder too tight. Will who was going to congratulate her had seen and heard the whole thing, he went up to them putting a smile on his face.

"Alexa! That was a great performance," he said walking up behind them. He noticed her father let go of her and she recoil from him.

"Thank you William." She said and James walked away. She started to shake, he noticed and led her outside a side door.

"Are you ok Lexie?"

Tears started to fill her eyes, he touched her shoulder and she cried out in pain, and turned away from him. He hesitantly and carefully pushed her sleeve away and saw that she had a dark thumbprint on the back. He turned her around and saw four deep bruises. He lightly traced them and she let out a sob.

"Lexie does he do this often." She didn't say anything. "Lexie? Does he hurt you?"

She started to shake, she was trying so hard to control her feelings, trying to repress James's touch, her nightmares, her memories, she was trying so hard. She started to panic.

"Lexie! Look at me Lexie, look at me and breathe." She complied and started to gain control.

"Lexie?" John said. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, Darcy had his hands on her face, they were standing so close together it looked like they had kissed and then he saw that she was crying. "Let go of her! What did you do?" He went up to Will and pushed him.

"John," Lexie said in a small voice, and Will pushed him back. "Please stop!" No one heard her. They started to argue. "_stop."_

Luckily Hurst had followed John outside and rushed to stop John from hitting Will. "Hurst let me go, he did something to her."

"John stop it now!" Anne's voice boomed. Everyone turned to look at her running up to Lexie who was shaking uncontrollably. Hurst let go of John and rushed to their side. Lexie fell onto him and he scooped her up. "Is she ok? Is she breathing?" Anne cried.

"Yes, I think she went into shock, what happened!" He seethed gripping her tightly.

"It was Darcy! What did you do?!"

"It was her father, look at her right shoulder, she was on the verge of a anxiety attack." Will said as calmly as he could.

Anne went up to Lexie and pulled up her sleeve, gasping at the sight. "Lexie, honey? Please wake up." She put a hand to her head.

"John? John?" She started to struggle against Hurst. "John!"

"It's ok darling I'm here, you need to calm down ok." He said kissing her forehead. She held her arms open to him and Hurst passed her. "I want to go home John."

"I'm not taking you to your house Lexie."

"I want to go home with you."

"Ok, we'll pick up something's from Anne's ok?"

"Then we'll go home?"

"Yes, we'll go home." She just nodded and closed her eyes. "Lexie?... Look I'm sorry Will it looked like…well I'm just sorry."

"It's fine, no problem. You're taking her to Anne's right?"

"No, she wants to come with me, I won't disappoint her."

"You cannot-"

"William I agree with John, Lexie wants to go with him, I want him to take her." Anne piped in. "Hurst you take her to the SUV, John tell your family that you Hurst will drop you off."

"What about her family?"

"Do you really think they care Will?" Hurst asked, with his hands curled into fists. Anne came over and placed a hand on his face, calming him.

"If they ask, she will be staying with me. Now everyone has a job to do, remember to act normal."

**A/N:**

**If you want to YouTube the performances I had in mind.**

***Skrillex, performed by Evan Duffy, classical piano arrangement-First of the Year (Equinox)**

***Guns N' Roses, performed by Adam DeGraff, Violin/Fiddle-Sweet Child O' Mine**

***ACDC, performed by 2Cellos.-Thunderstruck**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I know a lot of you will probably hate me for how this chapter ends, but forgive me. I also changed the rating to M because of the first half of the chapter. Remember this is my first Fanfic story it's not as detailed as others I have read and I was a little shy writing it. But I wrote it and decided to post it. There will be line breaks in case you wish to skip it. As for the end I too would like to see James get his just desserts maybe he will but not yet. So enjoy?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice all rights belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 27

Hurst was driving and Anne was in the passenger seat. He was sitting in the back, with Lexie's head on his lap. He stared at her, he hadn't stopped since they entered the car. No one was in the mood to talk, he, Anne and Darcy had gone back inside and were met with his family and the Bennet's. Darcy had gone to look for Charles. He could tell that his grandma was highly uncomfortable around Rose and wanted to leave. James had asked where Lexie was and they told him that she was in the restroom which seemed to bother him.

"I guess we'll just have to wait for her then." He said in a clipped tone.

"Actually Mr. Bennet, Lexie will be staying the night at my house-" Anne was saying.

"Great, now let's go, being in this stuffy room is starting to affect my nerves." Rose cut in. James looked like he was going to protest, but Rose shouting for Kitty and Lydia seemed to deter him.

She stirred in his lap and blinked her eyes open. She smiled at him, and reached for his and gave it a kiss. She sat up and looked around.

"Lexie!" Anne jumped and Hurst swerved.

"Anne, don't scare Hurst or well be Found. On. Road. Dead? Is that right?"

"First of all I'm an excellent driver, and yes, found on road dead."

"Lexie? Are-Do you." Anne sighed.

"If the question is if I am hungry and would I like to eat the answer is yes, I'm famished." She said sitting and placing her head on John's shoulder.

"What are you in the mood for, Lex?" Hurst asked, he looked in the rearview mirror and saw that John trying to control his temper.

"I don't know, how about….what do you guys feel like?"

"I'm not hungry actually." John said in a clipped tone.

"Me either." Anne said quietly.

"Looks like it's just you and me Yelnats. You?"

"How about hamburgers or pizza?

"Pizza, but if Anne and John won't eat I want my four slices."

"Please you can barely eat 3!"

"Are we seriously not going to talk about what happened?!" John yelled frustrated.

Lexie recoiled from him and scooted over to the opposite end, curling into a ball. He scooted over and placed a hand on her shoulder, she relaxed. "I don't want to talk about it right now." She said quietly.

He was going to protest, but he felt Anne place a hand on his knee he looked at her. She had a sad look in her eyes and shook her head no. He sighed and turned Lexie towards him cupping her face, and gave her a kiss. They stopped for pizza, all of them ate, and acted like nothing had happened, but Lexie wouldn't leave John's side. She clung to him, afraid that he would leave her. They headed to Anne's and John asked her if she still wished to stay the night. Lexie just nodded and asked him if he wanted her to. Anne and Hurst went to get her bag, she had freaked out when John said he'd wait for her. They sat waiting quietly in each other's arms until Anne and Hurst returned.

* * *

As soon as they were far enough from the car Anne broke down and gave Hurst a tight hug. He held her telling her it was going to be all right.

"How is it going to be all right? She won't let us help her!"

"She just needs time Anne, you said it yourself, she has opened up lately. Just give her some time." He rubbed circles into her back.

* * *

John carried a sleeping Lexie to his room as Hurst followed carrying her bag. Hurst pulled back the covers and John tucked Lexie in. He gave her a kiss and told her he'd be back. He walked Hurst outside.

"Give her time John, I know you like to think you know her, but you do not. You can't push her."

He let out a deep sigh. "I do not want her going back to that house. I can't let her go back, I just can't. I don't believe this is the first time….. There must be something we can do."

"I can ask my father, but I know Lexie would not like that. I'm torn between what Lexie would want and what I want to do."

"Please ask him anyways, and we will see how things go from here." Hurst just nodded and he found John giving him a hug.

He walked back to his room, all these emotions going through his head. He didn't know what to do, he just knew he had to do something. There was no way he was going to allow anyone to hurt her. He entered the room and she wasn't in the bed, he looked around frantically and saw that the light to the restroom was on, he sat on the bed.

Lexie woke up abruptly, breathing heavily, and looked around; she was in John's room. She was safe. She saw her bag on the floor and went to the restroom. She changed into her pajamas, ignoring the four purplish marks on her shoulder. She washed her face and let her hair loose. She walked out and was startled. She walked up to him and stood in front of him.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked quietly.

"No Lexie, I'm not mad at _you_."

"But you are mad?"

He sighed and pulled her down to sit on his lap. He picked up her legs and turned her to face him. "Please talk to me." He begged. "Don't shut me out."

Her hand went to his cheek and he leaned into it. "There was something I wanted to tell you, but I never got the chance." His eyes opened but he didn't say anything. She stared at him, "I love you Johnathan."

His eyes widened and a huge smile slowly appeared. His hand cupped her face, "I love you to Alexandra." They kissed, and just held each other. He could feel her smile on his neck while he played with her hair.

She was breathing in his scent, it was invigorating. She wanted to kiss him; one of his hands was on her hip and she wanted him to touch her. She kissed his neck, and she felt him shiver. She parted her lips and kissed him again, going up behind his earlobe, to his jaw to his lips. She gave him a slow but sensual kiss. Her hands snaked around his head and she started to pull his hair. He growled deeply and deepened the kiss. His hands were moving up and down her back causing her to moan. He noticed she didn't have a bra on and pulled away. Both of them were breathing hard.

"Why'd you stop?" She asked sounding hurt.

"Lexie I think we should stop before-"

He lips came crashing into his and she turned her body to straddle him. He moaned when her hips grinded his. She started to unbutton his shirt and he grabbed her hands to stop her. "Lexie we can't."

She tensed, and got off of him. "Forgive me I'm sorry." She turned and walked out the door, making her way to Nicky's room, with tears falling down her face.

He had said they would go at her pace, she was willing to give herself to him and he rejected her. She entered the room and closed the door quietly. She leaned against the wall and sunk down crying silently. She felt like she wanted to scream. There was a light knock on the door, she didn't move. It opened slowly and she could see his feet. She didn't look up at him, he extended his hand and held open his hand.

He was hoping she would accept it. As soon as she had left the room, he fell back on the bed pulling his hair out of frustration. He hadn't realized why she was upset. He wanted nothing more than to keep going but he didn't want to take advantage of her when she was emotional. He realized though that Lexie did not see it that way, she saw it as a rejection. She had told him she loved him and he rejected her. He sighed heavily. To her rejection was rejection, plus what happened earlier. Hurst was right he did not know her. He had seen her go into Nicky's room, even in the dark he could tell that she was crying. He did this to her. She didn't accept his hand and he kneeled to pick her up. She didn't fight him as he thought she would have. He carried her back to his room. Sitting against the head board.

-M-

"I'm so sorry darling, I didn't mean to hurt you." She breathed deeply, but didn't say anything. "It's just after what happened-" he trailed of. She thought about what he was saying and understood. He really did love her, and she acted like a baby and ran, instead of staying and talking about it like an adult.

"You're right I'm sorry, I over reacted. Forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive." He leaned down to kiss her.

When his tounge entered her mouth, she moaned and he pulled away. "Please don't overthink this John. I want you, I need you. I want to replace his touch with yours; I want to feel your hands on me."

Her hands snaked around his head. She kissed him and he returned the kiss, and when she demanded entrance he complied. They felt a shock as their tongues touched and she slowly and sensually kissed him. Before long they pulled apart and she stared deep into his eyes. "I love you Johnathan." She told him and he kissed her. His hands went under her shirt and she gasped.

"What's wrong?" He asked trying to retrieve his arms.

"Your hands are cold," she held his arms in place. "I like it," and her lips crashing back down onto his. She felt so alive, and she climbed on him and grinded into him. He moaned and next thing she knew he was pulling away.

"Lexie," he said breathing heavily, "We have to stop."

"I don't want to." She grabbed her shirt and pulled it off. "I love you, I want you, I need you."

He stared at her breasts, and then into her eyes. "Lexie-" He said huskily, his eyes were black.

"Do you want me?" He nodded, she grinded her hips and bit his neck. "Take me, make me yours John." She whispered in his ear. He lost his reserve and kissed her, his arms wrapped around her back and soon he was laying her down on the bed.

She felt dizzy from his kisses and touch; his hands were no longer cold as they explored her body. She could feel his calloused hand playing with her breast, and she whimpered. She didn't even notice him pulling down her shorts and panties. He stopped to admire her naked body. He liked how the moonlight showed every curve. She opened her eyes and brought her arms to try and cover herself pulling him out of his trance. "Don't hide from me, you're perfect."

He kissed deeply and made his way down her neck, to her breasts. Down her stomach, to her pelvic bone, she was still dizzy and didn't notice him pulling her legs apart. He licked his lips, he wanted to taste her and she was so wet. She stopped him when he kissed her sex. "Wait! What are you doing?"

"Giving you kisses," he said huskily, "I promise you'll like it." She just nodded. As soon as his lips met her sex she let out a big squeal. As his mouth kissed her, she tried to suppress the noises she wanted to make, she whimpered and moaned quietly. When he placed a finger inside her she let out a suppressed squeal.

"Do you like it?" He stopped and looked up at her. She nodded. "Tell me, Lexie."

"Don't stop please." She said breathlessly.

"Do I make you feel good?" He asked huskily.

"Yes," she breathed.

He kept going kissing her and touching her until she screamed his name. He made his way up to her and kissed her lips. She was high and when their lips found each she felt a surge running throughout her body. He pulled away and reached into the nightstand. He finished unbuttoning his shirt and took of his undershirt. She felt him taking his pants off. Next thing she knew his lips came crashing into hers as he slammed into her. She screamed into his lips and her fingernails dug into his arms. He saw tears running down her eyes, he stilled and kissed them away. The pain resided and she kissed him. She lifted her hips he began to move slowly in and out of her. After the burning subsided she locked eyes with his and put her arms on his back. She moved her hips with his meeting his thrust. "I love you," she whispered still staring into his eyes. "I love you too." He replied, he kept his slow pace, he was enjoying how she responded to him. She was very passionate, they would kiss and their hands would explore each other's bodies. She was so tight, he wanted to go faster but knew he would unravel, but he complied when she asked him to go faster, soon he felt her tighten around him and pushed in harder, they came together screaming out each other's names. He fell on top of her and kissed her. She held onto him, not wanting to let him go. He pulled out slowly and she whimpered.

He discareded the condom and laid on his back breathing hard. He had never felt what he felt with Lexie the same way he did with anyone else. He had never made love to anyone before. It was always just sex. She straddled him and kissed him a deep and passionate kiss. She lay on his chest and he hugged her to him. "I love you Jonathan, with all my heart, mind, body and inner being." She kissed his chest and placed a hand on it.

"I love you too Lexie. More than you'll ever know." He messaged her scalp and soon she fell asleep. He didn't mind in fact he was beyond the moon happy. He just held her and soon gave into sleep.

He woke up and tried to move, he couldn't which made him more alert. He opened his eyes, and Lexie was still on top of him. Beautiful as ever. He couldn't help the smile that spread his face. As he did, he felt her snuggle up against him. His hand rested on her back and he ran it up and down her spine.

-End-

"That tickles." She whispered, and looked up at him. He looked into her eyes, they were yellow in the morning light.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up."

She kissed his chest, and he moaned. "I don't mind." Her eyes were dark and she lowered her head kissing his chest. Last night she had been too high to admire his body. She knew he was muscular, she could always feel them over his shirt but looking at him now, made her a bit self-conscious. He was very well toned, and she traced the outline of his muscles. He started to breathe heavy.

His other hand went behind her head and he pulled her hair, she let out a soft cry. "I'm sorry. I forget." He sat up.

"It's ok John." She put her arms around him and kissed him.

He pulled away and looked her up and down. His eyes widened when they saw her shoulder. She looked to. The bruises were darker. He sat up and she turned away ashamed. His fingers grazed over the marks and she whimpered. "Does it hurt?"

"Not when you touch me." She kept her head turned, she felt his lips on her shoulder, giving her a kiss on each mark.

"How often does this happen." She didn't say anything. "Lexie?" He whispered her name and hugged her to him. She turned her face into her shoulder, and breathed.

"It started that day when I was lost." She wrapped her arms around him. "I was 8? 9 maybe. I wouldn't speak, I wouldn't do anything. I never know what I did to make him angry. I thought by doing nothing it would fix everything." She took a deep breath. "He and Rose would always fight about me, blaming each other. Everyone else would be asleep, I couldn't sleep and would go downstairs. I could always hear them. I suppose the school would call them to complain and those were the days he would yell at me. The worst he would do is slap me." She shivered and he tightened his grip. "Once I changed schools, they started calling more, and it got worse he started to spank me until I asked him to stop. I never would though and he would get tired. It never got too bad. They took me to see Dr. Stone, but nothing changed. I wouldn't speak to her, to anyone. I think he was going crazy, all he wanted was for me to speak, to do anything. He finally won, there was an estate sale, and they had horses. I don't know the details to well. But when I saw Aries, I gravitated towards him. He noticed and asked how much for him. He was very cheap because he had been abused and wild. He didn't want to buy him, but I didn't want to leave. He tried pulling me away, but I wouldn't budge. He told me that if I wanted him I would have to ask for him, and I did."

"Is that when it stopped?"

"I believe so. To be honest I did not remember until the first nightmare I had. But when you and Will started to fight and argue over me, everything came back."

"I don't want you going back Lexie, I'm afraid something worse will happen."

"He was just angry because I embarrassed him when I played Sweet Child O' Mine."

"I thought that was a great performance."

"I was thinking of you the whole time."

-M-

They started kissing each other and touching, soon he was reaching for another condom and she sank slowly onto him. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as she started moving her hips. He grabbed her hips to help her soon she was moving faster and faster. They came together again and when he opened his eyes he was met with hers. She was biting her bottom lip and had a sexy smile. She had seen him come and it gave her pleasure to see that she made him feel good. She gave him a deep and long kiss. "I love you." "I love you too." He flipped them over and pulled out if her.

-End-

Her stomach grumbled and she turned red. He laid back down and kissed her. "Hungry?" He smirked at her.

"Yes," she giggled, when his stomach was louder.

"Me to, let's go get something to eat." He sat up and started to look for his clothes. She averted her gaze and looked at the sheets and turned red. He looked at her, "What's wrong."

"Well, I mean I-" She pointed to the sheets.

"That's normal."

"Yes I know, it doesn't make me feel better though. Do you think I can shower first?" She asked still not looking at him.

"Yes." She found his shirt and put it on climbing off the opposite end. She giggled at how big it was on her. She went to the restroom and went through her bag, luckily Anne's made had packed her toiletries, she placed them in the shower and tried to turn on the water. "John? How do you use this thing you call a shower?"

He came in wearing nothing but his boxers. Her mouth hung open and he smiled cockily. She felt that her thighs were wet. He pushed her against the wall and turned on the water for her. "Is that a good temperature?" He picked up her arm up to the water. With the way he was looking at her all she could do was nod. He kissed her, and his hands bunched up the shirt.

She broke away. "Where are the towels?" He opened a cabinet and placed it on the towel rack. "You'll wait for me right?" He nodded and kissed her again. He went to his room and turned on his computer. He emailed Hurst asking him what his father had told him. He fought with his emotions and told Hurst what Lexie had told him. As he waited for his reply he got his clothes ready and took the sheets of the bed. He found a maid and asked her to wash them and bring him new sheets, telling her she wasn't allowed in his room today. Lexie came out and the room filled with her scent coconuts and lavender.

She smiled at him and went to kiss him, and hugged him. She was using his computer as he showered and emailed Hurst, Anne and Mary and Dr. Stone to fill them in on what happened. She was too embarrassed to tell them in person, this was just easier. She texted Anne and asked if she had Will's email. She was hesitant to tell him, but she knew if she saw him, he would ask questions.

* * *

Will heard the ping alerting him he had a new email. He had just finished emailing Georgie, she was asking him to ask her father for a camera. She did not know which one yet, she wanted to talk to Lexie first, but she wanted to know if she could have one first. He looked and saw an unfamiliar name- ALexingtonBee. He knew it was Lexie. He read her story, it was the same one she told John, and the one she sent to everyone else. She told him that it was the first time in years that she could remember, she said that this was the first and last time she would talk about it. He was happy that she told him, but was not satisfied at leaving it alone. He knew John, Anne and Hurst would not be happy leaving it alone either but decided to respect her wishes. He emailed his father about allowing Georgie to buy a camera, and decided to work on his homework.

* * *

After eating breakfast and playing with Nicky and Nathaniel, Lexie asked John if he would like to meet Aries, to which he agreed. They stopped by the store so that she could buy a bag of apples and were soon at the house. He parked on the street and she did not even bother going inside. They went straight to the stable. She introduced them and he could tell how much she loved Aries, they had been each other's savior. At first Aries did not like him but once he was fed several apples he grew to like him.

* * *

"That little brat! Can you believe she still won't answer my call?" Rose was yelling to no one in particular. After breakfast, James had told her that they were having guest tonight and needed Alexa home.

"You've only tried 6 times, maybe you should keep trying," giggled Lydia.

"Maybe she finally cut her wrists too deep," said Kitty giggling.

"Kitty! How can you say such a thing! Lexie does not cut herself." Jane chided.

"Not that we know of," mumbled Lizzie. Only Jane heard her shooting daggers at her and did not say anything more.

She was in her room looking out the window and saw Lexie and John going to the stable. She wanted to go warn her that their mom was looking for her but she had been too angry at her. Last night Darcy and Charlie had taken them out to eat, with the Bingley's unfortunately and Caroline, Louisiana and their mom would not stop subtly insulting Lexie. Darcy had been in a worse mood after the concert, and it seemed like he was angry. He wasn't speaking to anyone.

It was lunch time they could hear their mother shouting. Mrs. Bennet had called all the girls to the living room.

"Girls great news! The Collins's are coming for dinner tonight! So I need all of you to get dressed in your best dress. First though, Jane I need your help in the kitchen, Lizzie you need to clean up the living room, and hallway. Kitty will clean the restrooms, sweep and mop, and Lydia you need to set the table and also help in the kitchen!"

"No, way!" Yelled Lydia.

"That's not fair!" Cried Kitty

"Why are they even coming? Can't we just go to their house?" Lizzie asked annoyed.

"Mr. Collins is you fathers boss, and their son Billy goes to school with you-"

"Wait! Billy Collins is coming here to this house?" Lizzie said jerking up.

"Yea, as I was saying, your father invited them over for dinner."

"Wait! Why doesn't Debbie Downer have to do anything! Where is she anyway?" Lydia asked sulking.

"Alexa stayed the night at Anne's, and I was hoping that she would stay there. We need to impress the Collins."

The girls reluctantly parted ways to accomplish their chores. Lizzie was cleaning the hallway and heard her parents speaking.

"No! Alexa must attend tonight, call her and tell her to come home." She heard her father say. She kept working. It wasn't until later that her mother kept trying to reach Lexie. She still didn't say she knew Alexa was in the stable, she supposed she wanted her to get in trouble.

Lexie had wanted to show John her journals, she asked him to wait by the car that they would leave soon. He was hesitant but she said she would be quick. She walked into the house and got a bag putting in her 3 books, no one noticed until she was walking downstairs. Rose caught her before she reached the door to her freedom.

"Alexandra Bennet! Why didn't you answer my calls? I've been trying to reach you practically the whole day!" She yelled.

"Forgive me Rose, I do not have my phone with me. It died and I left it at Anne's." She started to walk around her.

"Where do you think you are going? You can't leave, we are having guests tonight?" She asked panicking.

"You wish for me to attend? Are you positive that is a good idea?" Lexie asked.

"Of course not your father wants you to attend, his boss and family will be coming."

"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request Rose I already have plans, hence the bag I am carrying."

"What?" She asked confused.

"No, I already made plans, and will not be attending."

"ALEXA!" James barked.

She turned to face him but kept her head held high. "Yes James?" A look of pure shock crossed his face. She had never called him by his name before.

"You will be here for dinner tonight or else." He said coming up to her.

"Of course, I would be happy to tell the Collins's all about our happy little family. Do you believe they will understand what an Anxious Personality Disorder is? Tell me what time is dinner and I will make sure that I am back in time." She said defiantly. Fire came into his eyes.

He took a threatening step towards her and she did not flinch. "She is right of course! It would be best not to have her tonight." Rose chided in. "After all what good will it do if she is sulking all night?"

James thought for a minute and then an evil smirk came across his face, making Lexie shiver on the inside. "Go then, enjoy your day." He said in a tone she did not recognize.

"Rose please tell me what time dinner is so that I may return." Lexie asked politely.

"No, you said it yourself you have plans. Now go." Ordered James, Lexie nodded and went out the door.

He made his way up the stairs and into the twins room. In 7 years Lexie had not defied him, nor had she stood up to him. It was time to teach her a lesson and remind her who was in charge. She would obey him one way or another. She had already embarrassed him, and she went unpunished. He needed her to go out with his bosses snot nose son Billy. His boss had caught him sleeping with another coworker, and was blackmailing him. Collins agreed to keep his mouth shut, if he could find a girlfriend for his son. He shuddered his son was a chubby, disgusting toad. Any girl in their right mind would run from him. He would have asked Jane to comply but knew her and Charlie together so she was out. He would never give them Lizzie. He loved her and would not ask this of her. Alexa would do just well, she always did as she was told, and never argued. She would do for now until he could find a way to get his boss fired allowing him to be in charge.

She dropped of her bag with John but then remembered that she had forgotten something. She ran to the house and up the stairs. She stopped at the door when she saw that James was taking the paintings and pictures of the wall.

"What are you doing?" She asked shocked.

"Seeing as how you are never here, and are not a part of this family, I am getting rid of all of this crap."

"Just because I won't come to dinner tonight? May I ask what you are going to do with my things?"

"I will be throwing them away of course."

"You cannot do that, those do not belong to you!"

"This is my house and I will do as I wish!" He yelled and dropped a small frame causing the glass to break. "If I wish to break each and every one-" he dropped another, "than I shall." Dropping two more, they were only small ones, but looking at Lexie, he knew he was achieving his goal.

Everyone heard the sound of glass breaking and came to the door way. They were all shocked at what they saw.

He took down another one, and was about to throw it. Lexie went running up to him and grabbed it. An act which angered him and he struck her with the back of his hand hitting her again as his hand came back.

"Dad!" Lizzie shouted out. He froze and stared at her. He looked around as if he had no idea what he was doing.

"Alexa, you will clean this mess up or you will not be able to leave. Understood?" He said in a cold tone.

Lexie didn't say anything. "Is that understood?" He grabbed her arm tightly. His hand was gripping tighter the longer she took to answer.

"Yes, sir." She said through clenched teeth. He released her.

She was turning to walk out the door and he grabbed her forcibly and threw her to the floor. She fell on broken glass but did not show any emotions. "Where do you think you're going? I told you to clean up this mess!"

"I was going to inform my ride to wait, and to get a broom sir." She said sounding empty and standing up shaking.

"Very well then go." He said in a clipped tone.

She made her was past the crowded doorway and walked as quickly as she could down the stairs. John saw her walking funny towards the car and got out when she got closer. One side of her face was red, he went up to her and stopped dead in his tracks. Her hands were dripping blood and her pant leg was covered in blood as it spread. He looked at her eyes, they were empty.

"Lexie what happened?!"

"I will explain later John, I need you to wait 30 minutes for me. Ok?" She said not looking at him.

He grabbed her and she pulled away "Don't touch me!" She yelled. He put his hands in the air. "Will you wait for me?"

"Lexie I do not want you going back in there." He said trying to control his temper. "I'm calling the police!"

"No please don't! I don't want to make him any angrier!" She started shaking.

"Lexie, I am sorry but I have to. Look at your leg, at your hands." He reached for his phone and she jumped at him.

"Please, don't. Just wait for me, I'll be back Ok?"

"What if he hurts you again?"

"We will figure something out ok? Just please Rose doesn't work, if he goes to jail there will be no one to take care of them. Please," she said with watery eyes.

He sighed and agreed. "If you're not back in thirty minutes I will call them." She told him thank you and kissed him.

Lizzie was shocked at what she had seen. For the first time ever she was at a loss for words. She had never seen her father so angry, she didn't believe he was capable of striking another living thing let alone one of his daughters. Even if it was Lexie, Lexie was not that bad, she always did as she was told. If anything Lizzie was the one who was always getting into trouble. With a quivering voice Rose shooed Lydia and Kitty telling them to go get ready. Jane left and returned with a broom and dust pan in her hand. Lizzie could hear classical music blaring from her father's study. Jane was visibly shaking as she picked up one of the frames. Lizzie went to her and grabbed it from her.

"Jane are you alright? You're trembling!"

"I'm fine Lizzie, I just wish to help Lexie." Jane said calmly but her hands were shaking more.

"Here, I'll do this, you pick up the frames."

She went back into the house, void of any emotion. Lydia and Kitty avoided her gaze. Rose was shaking and trying to keep busy. She heard music blaring from the study and cringed internally. She made her way upstairs and saw Jane and Lizzie sweeping up the glass.

"What are you doing?" They looked at her surprised. Like they hadn't expected her to return.

"Oh my God Lexie! Look at your leg, and hands!" Jane came up to her and tried to hold Lexie. Lexie took a step back.

"You shouldn't be cleaning that up. I was told to do it." She said.

"Lexie, just go we'll take care of it." Lizzie said.

"No you can't he'll get mad. I have to do it just let me."

"We won't tell Lexie." Jane said sadly.

Lexie went up to Lizzie and forcibly took the broom out of her hand. "I was told to do it and I said that I would!"

Lizzie handed her the broom and backed away. She and Jane watched as Lexie picked up each broken frame and take out each picture carefully and put the frame on the side. She swept and threw the glass. Then she walked to the restroom and brought back a towel to clean up the blood on the floor. She never told them anything. She grabbed a duffle bag and started putting items into it, like clothing and a little safety box. Neither of the three said a word to each other. When Lexie was finished she looked around the room and headed towards the door. She stopped at the door way and turned to look at Lizzie and Jane, neither of them looked at her. She dropped the bags and went up to hug them. "Do not tell him I gathered more of my things." The hugged her back and nodded in agreement.

She walked down the stairs the music was still blaring. Kitty, Lydia, nor Rose were anywhere to be found. She stopped at the trophy case, how she wished she could destroy the stupid thing. She wanted him to know what it was like to have something destroyed, but she wanted to get out of there. Away from this house, she walked out the door without looking back and held her head up as she went to John. He had waited outside his car for her. He saw her walking down the driveway. He went to help her with her bag.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who, reads, follows and comments. This is a short chapter, but I wanted to post something. This chapter gets a little dark, but I wanted to explain why neither James nor Rose like Lexie. I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice; all rights belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 28

The pain was excruciating, she needed him to hold her. "John! I need you to hold me please!" She said through clenched teeth.

"I know Lexie, but I have to drive to the hospital."

"No! Please, we can't I don't like hospitals."

"I'm sorry darling, but I have no choice."

"Please I just want you to hold me, everything hurts." She was visibly shaking and looked pale.

He stopped the car and kissed her grabbing her wrists. She calmed at his touch. "Hold on ok? We'll be there before you know it."

Tears started to fall from her eyes. She couldn't wait, she hated the pain, it seemed to bring back old wounds she didn't realize she had. "Please just hold me, I need you to, I won't make it." She said as calmly as she could.

He sighed, he didn't know what to do, she obviously needed him to hold her, but he had to get her to the hospital. She looked pale and the shirt she was holding in her hands was already soaked in blood. "Lexie I need you to be strong, ok, we'll be at the hospital in no time." He said as his forehead rested on hers.

"I can't-I feel like I'm-falling apart. I need you to hold me."

"Lexie I have to get you to the hospital." He started driving again and she felt cold.

"At the next road, turn it'll take you to the Bingley's….ask Will to take us please please please." She said starting to sob. He couldn't deny her this.

Five minutes later he was pulling up to the driveway. He went to ring the doorbell and a surprised Charles answered the door. He asked for Will, and Charles invited him inside, he declined. Charles went to get Will who was even more surprised to see him.

"Johnathan, what's wrong is it Lexie?" He asked worried.

John cringed that he called her Lexie, but he couldn't think about that right now. "Yes, I need you to drive me to the hospital."

Will looked at his car, and then at John, he paled when he noticed he had dried blood on his shirt. "What happened?" He demanded.

"I'll explain in the car, just please, Lexie needs you to do this." He said with his voice quivering.

"Let me just go get my wallet." He ran to his room and grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet. Charles asked him what happened and he said he would explain later.

When he got the car, John was getting into the backseat. He looked and saw Lexie shaking and looking like she'd seen a ghost. He got into the driver's side and saw the passenger seat had blood. He turned to look at Lexie again. Her right leg was covered in blood, along with her shirt and she was holding a piece of cloth covered in her blood. John was holding her, whispering in her ear, and massaging her back.

He started the car and took off. "I don't know where the hospital is." He said frustrated.

"Then why did you agree to take us." John asked as angrily.

"Because you said Lexie needed _my_ help." He argued back.

"PLEASE! Do not fight, the hospital is in the city, heading towards Anne's a little after downtown." Lexie said breathing heavily.

"Lexie what happened?" Will asked.

"I went into the house, I was leaving and Rose stopped me, I had to stay for dinner, but I didn't want to. James- I should have known he was up to something. He let me leave, but I forgot something. I went back in and he was in my room." She paused to take deep breathes. John was holding her tightly and she felt safe in his arms. The pain wasn't as evident. "He was taking down my pictures and frames. He said that he could do whatever he wanted with them because it was his house. He broke several of them on purpose. I went to stop him and he struck me twice." She sobbed, "Luckily Lizzie stopped him, I think he would have done worse."

"Lexie you're bleeding heavily, I think we're past him doing worse." John said frustrated. He didn't want to hear anymore, it was his fault she was hurt. He let her go back into that house, when he had told himself he wouldn't.

She comforted him, angering him further. He was supposed to be comforting her. "He told me to clean up or I wouldn't be allowed to leave. I was going to tell John to wait and get the broom and he got angry. He grabbed me and threw me on the floor. I fell on the broken glass."

"How could you not call the police?" Will asked angered.

"Lexie wouldn't let me. As to why none of them didn't do it I couldn't say."

They arrived at the hospital, Lexie was still trying to contain her emotions, and John hadn't let her go. She panicked when she was placed on the gurney and were taking her to a room. Will decided to wait, soon after he saw Anne, Hurst and a man who looked like a lawyer walked in. Anne's eyes were blood shot and Hurts looked like he was ready to kill. Anne came running up to him and hugged him. She was asking all these questions and he had no answers. He felt frustrated, all he could do was tell her and the Hurst's what Lexie had told him. After waiting almost an hour John came out and took them to the room.

Lexie was lying in the bed, sleeping with a mask on and all these wires connected to her.

"John, what happened? I thought she just fell on glass." Anne said walking up to Lexie, too afraid to touch her.

"She was too hysterical as they pulled out the pieces that were embedded in her skin. The doctor had to sedate her, but because of her medication, they have to monitor her breathing, and heart rate. Luckily she did not lose too much blood."

"Why weren't the police notified?" Asked Mr. Hurst.

"She refused to let me call them. I did not want her to stress over this more. Please tell me there is something we can do?"

A man knocked on the door and entered with a woman. "Hello this is Mr. Taylor and I'm Ms. Lincoln, we're from CPS. We'd like to ask Ms. Bennet a few questions."

"She's sleeping at the moment."

"Very well may we speak to you then…. Mr. Drake." She said looking at her notepad.

"I'm sorry I'm Richard Hurst, I am Ms. Bennet's attorney, may I ask who notified you?"

"It is the hospitals responsibility to report abuse."

"She fell on glass how does the hospital get abuse from that?"

Everyone looked stunned, of course it was what happened, but why was he denying it.

"Well the big hand print on her forearm, shoulder, and face may have been a telltale sign." Everyone's blood was boiling but all kept their cool demeanor.

"Be that as it may none of us know what happened, and no you cannot question Mr. Drake."

"Very well we will return, and you can be assured that we will. We looked at her medical record and this is not the first time something like this has happened to Ms. Bennet." Mr. Taylor looked at Ms. Lincoln like she said something she knew she shouldn't have but did not say anything.

They left and Mr. Hurst continued to explain to them that if Lexie went to child services she would most likely be placed in foster care. The best thing to do was for Lexie to get emancipated from her parents or for someone to adopt her. He said that emancipation was what he was going to recommend.

Lexie awoke a while later, emotionally she felt empty, physically she felt nothing. Her eyelids were heavy, and she felt a hand gripping her wrist and she tried to free herself. She felt kissed on her head, and heard John's voice, calming her telling her she was all right. He told her Anne, Hurst and Will were there along with Mr. Hurst. She felt a small shaky hand on her forehead followed by a kiss. _Anne._ She felt water hit her face. She felt another hand, but bigger on her neck and a kiss on her check. _Hurst._ She tried opening her eyes again. She saw John's eyes as she slowly opened them and smiled. He looked so sad, she went to cup his face but her hand was covered in a bandage. Everything came back to her and she felt a tear fall from her eye. She looked around and saw Anne, Hurst, and Mr. Hurst. She was confused, Will had driven them here, and John had said he was in the room. She looked to the door and saw Will sitting there, refusing to look at her.

She had to explain to Mr. Hurst what had happened. At first she had been upset that Hurst involved his father, but understood that she needed to do something. She did not, and would not go back there. Mr. Hurst told her about getting emancipated and what that would mean. She told him that she just wanted her belongings, including all the paintings and pictures, Aries, and her awards. He asked if there was any family that she could stay with. Anne told them Lexie would be staying with her. Mr. Hurst advised her not to speak with CPS.

* * *

James sat silently in his study, staring at the picture he kept locked away. The only light coming from the curtain he hadn't closed all the way. He drank the liquor in his cup on one gulp. It burned his throat as the warm liquid made its way down. He stared at the picture, they looked so much alike, and it was as if Lexie were a ghost. That's what she was, the ghost of his love. _Ashley Burton_. He thought back, Ashley had been his coworker. He would go in early in the morning and stay as late as he could to be with her. Rose, was always too busy for him going shopping and raising Jane. Her smile, that is what he remembered most, he loved her smile. They had been put on an assignment together and they quickly got to know each other. One thing led to another and soon they were having an affair. He soon realized that he loved her. She was smart, funny, beautiful, and she loved him. He remembered how angry he got when she told him she was pregnant. He accused her of doing it on purpose; she told him she was on birth control. His anger got the better of him when she asked him to leave Rose, and be with her. That she loved him with all her heart and soul, that she needed him, she couldn't live without him. He snapped and struck her, he'll never forget the look in her eyes. Her green eyes, Lexie's eyes. He came clean and told Rose everything. He remembered how much she cried, they made love for the first time in a long time resulting in Lizzie's consummation. Back then he believed himself to be in love with Rose. She had some money, was very beautiful. The next day Ashley had resigned and he didn't hear anything from her until after Lizzie was born.

He had decided to be faithful and a good father. He had been tucking Jane in when the doorbell rang. It was the middle of the night and he decided to ignore it. As he was making sure everything was locked up he heard crying, he thought it was Lizzie so he went to check on her. Nothing he went back downstairs to get a bottle and heard the crying again. He followed the noise, it was coming from the other side of the door he slowly opened it. There she was in a basket, crying he looked around, nothing. He brought her inside, and gave her the bottle in his hand. She drank it quickly. He saw that there was a note. It was in Ashley's handwriting. The babies name was Alexandra Bennet, she was born two days after Lizzie had been born. Ashley did not want her; she wanted nothing that would remind her of him. She called him a monster. Yet she demanded money, in exchange for silence. She had pictures of them together and threatened to expose them to the company. Inner office relationships were forbidden and anyone caught in one would be fired with a black mark on their record.

Rose came downstairs when Lexie started crying again, the look on her face; she looked around expecting to see someone else. He explained what was going on. It was Roses idea to say that she had twins. They decided to move to a different city and ended up in the country. He relocated at work, but Ashley found him, still demanding money. She even sent copies of the photos. About a year later, he got a package in the mail. It was waiting for him when he got home. He took it to his study, it was from Ashley. He cried as he read the letter over and over. The package included a baby photo album, of Lexie with pictures of Ashley, all the money he had sent her was in a savings account for when Lexie was 18 which only she could access. But the worst part of the letter was saying that she was going to take her own life because of him. A couple of days later he saw it in the obituaries. He went to her funeral, apparently she had been struggling with depression for years, and her family thought that she had gotten better, around the time their affair started. She disappeared for 10 months and came back, no one knew about Lexie. He could hear people saying that this had not been her first attempt at suicide. He remembered crying for days, it was his entire fault.

He could never love Lexie; she was a constant reminder of what he did to Ashley, what he did to Rose. He remembered the look in Lexie's eyes the day she got lost, it was the same look Ashley had the last time he saw her. He snapped, and he struck her. When Rose came home without her thought that he was losing Ashley all over again. He never meant to hurt Lexie, but she reminded him to much of her, her eyes. He couldn't stand that she would not speak and that damn look in her eyes. He would always lose control, Ashley was haunting him. He thought back to last night. When Lexie came out, he couldn't breathe. She was beautiful, she was the spitting image of Ashley it was as if he was back in time. Her smile, he had never seen Lexie smile before, it angered him. She had a beautiful smile, which she did not share with him. It angered him, that he would never see Ashley again; it angered him that Lexie had embarrassed him, and his family a family that she was lucky to be a part of. He could have just left her at the hospital, and still paid Ashley, she would never have known.

He knew he had gone too far. He did not mean to throw her down, it just happened. The look in her eyes. He downed another cup of whiskey. He had to go back out there, he had to make sure everything was still in order for tonight. He turned off the music and pulled the curtain open and went to his room. He could hear Lizzie crying…

* * *

"What did that lady mean when she said this wasn't the first time something like this happened to her? Lexie told us, the worse that ever happened was the spankings." Anne said through labored breaths, looking between John and Hurst.

"She told me the same thing." Said Hurst and they both looked at John.

"I'm at a loss myself. She told me the same thing." He sighed heavily. "She told me she hadn't remembered being hit, until the nightmare she had, and that Darcy and I fighting because of her brought back some memories."

"Nightmare? She never mentioned nightmares." Anne said quietly.

"She never told me what they were about, just the first one. But she has had them for the last two weeks, except for last night."

"Do you think she remembers now?"

"It's hard to say, she's going to stay the night, and I'm going to stay with her. Her state of mind tomorrow will determine if she stays another night or not."

"Will you haven't said a word since we came in here."

"What is it that you would like me to say?" He asked tersely. He still couldn't look at Lexie it reminded him of Georgie.

"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you're still with us." She and Hurst laughed quietly.

"What's so funny about that?" He asked failing to hide his temper.

"When Lexie would have a bad day Anne would always say. 'Lexie you haven't said a word all day.'"

"To which Lexie would reply. 'What is it you'd like me to say?' and Hurst would give her the same answer I just told you."

A huge smile came on Hurst's face. "She'd say 'Of course I'm still here, I mean you see me right?'" His smile fell. Anne came to give him a hug.

Lexie woke up, and felt someone caressing her forearm. It was John, he was looking at her hands, and had tears in his eyes. She looked around, Will was still by the door and Anne and Hurst were hugging. John felt her move and looked up, brushing away his tears. He stood up to kiss her on the forehead. She took off the mask and kissed him on the lips. She winced from the pain coming from the left side of her face.

"How are you felling?"

She scrunched up her face. How can she answer, ashamed, hurt, horrible, drained, hated, pain. "How are you guys holding up?"

"Lexie, don't worry about us." Anne piped in.

"Of course I'm worried about all of you, you're stuck here instead of enjoying this lovely Saturday."

"There is no place we'd rather be, my Little Bee." Hurst told her.

She gave them a small smile and nodded her head. She felt tears falling, she was loved. "Hurst I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you for what your dad is doing, but I promise I'll find a way."

"Lexie, you don't have to repay me, and as for my father he has already been paid."

"What! What do you mean?" She sat up. "You are not paying him are you John?"

"No, he didn't I did, look Lexie do not worry about it, just get some rest." Hurst said looking down.

"What do you mean do not worry about it? Now tell me please."

He sighed and looked up at her. "I told my father that if he helped me, you, then I would go to school to become a lawyer and join his empire."

"No! You can't do that! Not for me, tell him to forget it, I'll figure out another way. Please don't do this for me." She started to cry causing a monitor to start beeping, and Hurst came up to hug her.

"Shh, calm down Lexie, you need to calm down. I had already decided long before this happened that I was going to become a lawyer. I just waited for the opportune moment to tell him."

"Bu-but what abo-out pho-photo-graphy?" She asked trying to calm down.

"Already negotiated into the agreement, so you see I'm a natural born lawyer." He chuckled.

"I love you Stanley."

"I love you too Alexandra. Now get some more rest, and I'll bring you some food."

"Burger, fries, and a chocolate milkshake?" She said through sniffles.

"With cheese and no onions." He added in and kissed her on the temple. He handed her over to John and she soon fell asleep again.

He got John's order and Anne was going to go with him. They decided to drop off Will and pick up the food on the way back. After a 15 minutes of silence Will finally spoke.

"Why do you call her Bee?" He startled Anne and Hurst.

"Blind Melon, No Rain." He said smiling at a fond memory.

"Is that a book?"

"No it's a song, you'd have to watch the video. If it's not Lexie's favorite song, it's up there. It suits her well she says. *It's about depression, but finding beauty in simple things, dreaming of love, staying true to yourself, and overall hoping that someone will come along and love you for who you are. Like in the video, a girl dresses as a bee, performs in a talent show, and gets laughed at. She walks through the city meeting the same fate. At the end she goes into a field and finds a group of people dressed as bees, she is at home."

"I always thought it was because she dressed like a bee for Halloween."

"Yes, that's why she did it. Remember her dance?" They laughed at the memory.

"She said she didn't know how to dance."

"She does, she just doesn't know it." Anne said.

"She thinks she dances like Elaine."

"Elaine?" Asked Will confused.

"Geez Will, do you live under a rock?"

"_Anne,_ the woman from Seinfeld, you should look up that video too. The point is that was the first and only time I have seen Lexie dance, and the first time we got to see her real smile. She's been my Little Bee, since then."

* * *

The doorbell rang at 6 on the dot. James and Rose answered with smiles plastered on their faces. Jane, Lizzie, Kitty and Lydia stood in a row with sad smiles. They were introduced to another and when Mr. Collins asked where Lexie was the mood turned.

"She is with her best friend Anne De Bough-"

"Oh yes, Mrs. De Bough is an excellent teacher. She is the best history teacher, she truly knows a lot and not just about history." Billy answered.

"She is just so fond of our Bill, she's taken him under her wing, and is even going to write a letter of recommendation for him." Mrs. Collins beamed.

They parents made small talk while Bill dominated the conversation and all the girls tried no to look so bored. Luckily their father noticed and soon dinner came. Lizzie was forced to sit next to Bill, and endure his talking again. Soon the night ended and the Collins had invited them over for dinner tomorrow. As she made her way to her room, she could hear Jane crying, she knocked on the door.

"What's wrong Janey?"

"Lizzie how can you ask such a thing? After what happened today, I'm surprised we all managed to get through the dinner."

"I'm confused Jane."

"Lizzie! Dad hurt Lexie, I didn't think it was possible but he hurt her."

"Jane dad told me what happened and I know he lost control, but he was trying to keep Lexie from hurting herself."

"What how can you say that? He pushed her and she had blood all over her."

Lizzie went to hug Jane, "Lexie was mad because dad wanted her to spend time with us, as a family. She's never here you know, even when she is, it's like she's a shadow. He said Lexie ran upstairs and started to throw her frames on the floor. He said she picked up a piece of glass and he was afraid she was going to do something bad, and he hit her. That was when we walked in. He didn't push her hard enough to fall onto the glass, he thinks she might have thrown herself." Lizzie said solemnly.

Jane gasped. "Do-di-did do you believe him?"

Lizzie sighed "Yes."

"I guess we really don't know Lexie after all." Jane said quietly and hugging Lizzie while sobbing into her shoulder.

***This is an excerpt from a comment someone posted on , it was the first comment and I loved it, agreeing whole heartedly. I thought the song fit Lexie, and how she would feel. **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Sorry I was gone for a while; it took me several attempts to write this chapter, nothing seemed right. Still a little apprehensive, but I hope you enjoy this chapter anyways. Also I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Pride and Prejudice, they belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 29

_There was a whooshing sound through the air followed by a sharp pain. She didn't cry, and then there was another and another, and another, the pain was excruciating. "STOP, STOP, PLEASE, STOP!" She cried, and then he threw her to the floor._

"_Next time I tell you to do something, YOU DO IT! Is that understood?"_

_She nodded, trying to keep the tears at bay. "You will answer me when I speak to you! Is that understood?"_

_She nodded again, not wanting to look at him, he seemed to hate that, for someone who demanded it from her. It seemed to anger him more. He asked again, over and over, she never answered. He grabbed her by the arm and bent her over. She knew what was coming and she tried to relax. Three more hits followed by him yelling at her to answer him. She never did, and he stopped when she would start to cry. _

"Lexie, Lexie, honey wake up." She opened her eyes and John was hugging her.

She started to cry, she remembered everything. She _would_ yell for him to stop, only for the process to be repeated. She remembered going to the doctor's and having to tell them that it was her fault, that she misbehaved, that she would try to hurt herself, that she never told him to stop. They threatened her, saying they would leave her at the hospital, if she did not comply. Or worse she would be taken away and put into foster care with strangers. _Why did they hate her? Why? Why?_

John just held her, and whispered that he loved her, and everything was ok, she was safe, they couldn't hurt her anymore. She had made room for him to lie with her and she fell asleep in his arms. He was waking her up again, she didn't remember having a nightmare, but then she smelled the burgers. Hurst and Anne were back. She felt her eyes water and brushed them away, how could she tell them, how could she tell any of them, how could she have forgotten something so horrible.

"Lexie?" She looked at John, he had a concerned look on his face. She gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry, I was a million miles away."

"It's ok, I was just asking you what you wanted to eat first."

"Hamburger, but you have to put some fries in the middle and then smash it." He smiled and chuckled. "What it's good, you should try it." He smiled and took a bite of her hamburger and then another.

"You're right it's good." He took another bite and Lexie told him to eat his own. "I've seen Hurst eat it this way and never once thought of trying it." He took another bite and chuckled when she pouted. "You can have some of mine." He amended.

"No you got yours with onions."

"I'll take them out."

"No, the taste will still be there." She scrunched up her face. "You can give me half of your shake though."

"Fair enough."

She expected him to hand her the burger, but he started to feed her. She was going to protest but when she moved her hands, there was a stinging sensation. She looked down at them and got angry. How was she supposed to do anything with useless hands?

They ate in silence, and then there was a knock on the door, it was the doctor, just checking up on her. He looked at the fast food and frowned. He was against it causing a string of questions from Lexie, Why? Does he eat the hospital food? She continued to ask questions about her recovery, was it better to stretch her hands or to keep them still? Flat, or curved? When could she use them again? Ect. The doctor told her that CPS wanted photo's to be taken of her, she agreed after speaking to Mr. Hurst. She cried the whole time; luckily she had Anne there to hold her hand well wrist.

The photographer and nurse left, and then a woman and man entered. They were from CPS, they wanted to talk to her, but she would not answer them, she went to her shell, the woman had a sad look in her eyes, she really did want to help her, but she said she wouldn't talk to them. They left after leaving their card. She asked John and Hurst to get her bag, she had remembered what she wanted to show him, why she went into the house in the first place. She didn't want him to go, Hurst and Anne could have gone, but he had been with her this whole time, he looked tired, he needed a break.

"Anne? Can you come hold me please?" She said quietly.

Anne gave her a small smile and came to sit with her on the bed. She didn't say anything she just held her. She didn't know what to say. "Anne you haven't said anything, how are you holding up?"

"Lexie! How can you ask me such a thing?!" She yelled and sat up. "How can you think about me right now? What about you, why won't _you_ tell _me_ how _you're_ doing?! Why won't you talk about it? Why won't you let us in? How could you not tell me something like this has happened before?" She snapped at her, pacing up and down the room. "We're supposed to be sisters, Lexie, best friends, how could you not tell me he hurt you, I could have helped you!" She started to sob.

Lexie wanted to go to her, but she still had all these wires connected to her. "Anne! Come here….please." Anne stood and sat on the bed, Lexie hugged her as best she could. "You did help me Anne, you did. You were my friend when I had no one. You were my shoulder to cry on even though I did not cry, but you gave me strength. You have been there for me the most. You took me into your home without me having to ask to stay the night, I'll I had to do was tell you I was coming over," she chuckled. "Now you're taking me into your home now." Anne calmed down and relaxed. "I didn't remember Anne, I promise I didn't I was telling you the truth in the email, spanking was the worst. But I-I remember everything now Anne!" She burst into tears. "I remember he used to hit me with a belt so badly I couldn't sit, even after I did ask him to stop. That was the worst I swear, well besides the psychological abuse, but I really feel that is more of Dr. Stone's expertise, oh speaking of Dr. Stone I need to call her, I need to tell her, she has to know what happened, she has to-" she was speaking so quickly the last thing Anne understood was psychological abuse.

"Oh Lexie! I'm so sorry I snapped at you!"

"It's ok Anne, it's ok, I seem to remember I snapped at you the other day."

Hurst and John entered the room. Lexie asked Hurst and Anne if she could have a moment with John, and they went to get some air.

"I just wanted to thank you, for being here for me and putting up with me being so clingy. It means a lot and I love you very much."

"I love you too." He kissed her deeply and longingly.

They broke apart breathing for air. "I wanted to show you something, it's something that's very important to me." She took a deep breath. "In the tote bag are three books, they have quotes, sayings, poems I like, doodles, drawings, pictures, lyrics and my thoughts on them or just random ones." She said excitedly. "I-I No one has ever seen it, them, well Anne has drawn in them and Mary, but they've never looked through them and….." she sighed sadly, losing her excitement, this was dumb. He wouldn't want to see them, it was a silly notion, her eyes started to water, but she had stopped looking at him a long time ago.

"You were going to let me see them?" He asked hopefully but it was lost on her.

"No!... Yes, sorry I don't know why I lied, well yes I do, I um-yes I had wanted to show them to you, but now it-I- I feel really dumb right now." She sighed.

He lifted her chin and gave her a kiss, making her spine tingle. "I would love to see them- if you still want me to." He smiled.

Her eyes lit up, and she gave him her big smile. "Really? I mean you don't have to, it's just that I wanted to add the letter you gave me and I-"

He kissed her again, filled with happiness. "I love you."

"I love you too." She sighed, and kissed him again. "I –I wanted to tell you that I remember everything, but I want to tell you when Hurst comes back, I-I am trying to open up to them and I want to kill two birds with one stone."

She waited for them to return she had already asked Anne to warn Hurst she was going to tell them everything. They all sat on the bed as best they could and she told them what she remembered, and even expressed how she was feeling at the moment. It pained her to see them all so sad and hurt because of her, for her. But they were a little happy that she let them in, and all of them just held her, giving her the strength and support she needed. It was getting late and she knew Anne was expected home soon, she asked her to tell Mary everything for her and also see if she had heard anything through the grape vine about what happened. She doubted Rose would be able to resist telling Grace anything, especially when something did actually happen.

The doctor came to make his rounds for the night and asked if she was in pain. She felt the tingling and stinging but on a scale between 0 and 10 it was at a 3, as far as discomfort. She asked if she could have the wires removed, and the oxygen mask. He agreed and left for the night. John lay with her on the bed, and they went through the books together.

On the outside, they were plain and black nothing special, nothing that let anyone know they held anything of interest. But once opened it was a scrapbook, but instead of pictures, there were texts. Some pages did contain pictures that Hurst had taken of her, Anne, Hurst, and Mary. Some were pictures of nature, others of just random things. Most of the pages had drawings of scenes or things and pertained to the text. The rest that contained the texts had doodles or intricate art work that must have taken a long time to draw out. He got a deeper look into her mind, reading each note she made. Most were dark, and depressing, he did not know she was capable of thinking such thoughts.

One page stood out the most. It was Halloween and Lexie was 13 according to the photo. She was dressed as a ballerina bumblebee and she had that big smile on her face. Hurst had done a good job the lighting was perfect, and her eyes were the greenest he had seen them. She had the lyrics to No Rain written over a drawing of a beautiful sunflower on the second page.

"I need a copy of this photo!" He said quiet loudly waking her up.

"Hmm? Oh no, not that one, I look like a dork. There are better pictures to choose from." She said sleepily.

"Please, I'll give you one of the ones I have of you."

"You have more of me? I thought you only had one! Five at the most."

"Nope, I have a whole bunch, I'll show you one if you promise to make me a copy, or I could ask Hurst for a copy, your choice." He smirked at her.

She wanted to be mad at him, but he was just too cute. "Fine I will make you a copy, but you have to show me the pictures you took so that I may choose."

"Fine but I get to choose another if I wish because you're taking away all my ammunition."

"Deal." They kissed on it, and he pulled out his phone to show her the pictures he had taken. Her favorites were one he took of her holding Noah, one where she was reading a book to Nicky and Nate.

* * *

John was propped up on an elbow and he watched as Lexie slept. They had decided to leave a lamp on and he was lying with her on the bed. She was turned on her side because of the cuts on her thigh. Her back was to his chest, and he was brushing her hair with his hands. He was tired, it had been a long day, and another emotional one. He kept glancing at his pocket. He had planned on taking her out tonight, just the two of them on a date, and he was going to give her another charm to add to her necklace, an open heart that made a cursive J in the middle of it. Symbolizing that she had his heart, she had it even before they made love and now he wasn't sure if it was the right time to give it to her. He had thought about doing it after the concert, but then everything happened. Why he didn't do it this morning he didn't know, it just didn't feel right.

She woke up, there was a nurse in the room and she looked for John, he wasn't in the room and she panicked. Just then he walked into the room with coffee and doughnuts. He offered the nurse one and gave her a kiss on the head. The doctor came in shortly and asked her some questions; he deemed her fit to be discharged. The nurse was going to help her shower and show her how to clean and dry herself and tell her how to apply a medicine he was going to give her for infection. She would have to come back to have the stiches removed causing her to jerk at the mention of them. Luckily he didn't notice he left and told her that the nurse would be right in.

John helped her gather her clothes and take her medicine. The nurse came in and they went to the bathroom, she told the nurse to be careful with the back of her head and she and the nurse spoke. After showing her how to do everything and wrapping her hands up Lexie thanked her and said that she could manage the rest on her own. She had liquid stiches on both her hands, and cuts on her fingers, she was glad. She walked up to the mirror and saw the left side of her face was a bit swollen, she saw the marks on her shoulder, they were still fresh, but yellowing a little. She looked down at her forearm and saw his fingers tips there, she shuddered. She took a deep breath and dropped the towel, her eyes started to tear up. She had not looked, or seen what had happened. Ignorance was bliss, when the nurse showed her how to do everything; she blocked out the images and focused on what the nurse was saying. But now there was no denying it, she would be scared for life because of him. _You were emotionally scared, but now it was physical_.

She looked at her calf, there were tiny cuts but nothing big, she looked further up and saw her thigh. There were three long stiches and several cuts. She let a big scream, and started to back into a corner into a ball. She couldn't help but sob and cry freely. She could hear John at the door but she couldn't answer him, she just cried. He eventually came in and saw her naked curled up on the floor. He picked up the towel put it over, scooping her up in his arms. All he could make out was that she was scared for life and she was ugly. He reassured her that she was still beautiful and that the scars would fade in time while rocking her back and forth. She finally composed herself.

"I-I am sorry John." She managed to whisper. He just rubbed circles on her back and kept holding her. Several minutes passed but she had stopped crying and was just relishing being in his embrace.

"It's ok Lexie, you don't believe I'm that shallow and vain to care about scars on your leg do you?" He said mocking offence, she chuckled.

"No I don't believe you are _that_ vain or shallow." She giggled when he frowned and kissed him. She sighed and rested her forehead on his, "I _know _you're not that vain or shallow, but the little demon in my head tells me otherwise."

"Just as long as you know," he smirked at her.

"I think I have a long journey ahead of me, are you sure you want to come along for the ride." She held in her breath waiting for his reply.

"Yes," she released her breath and he kissed her slowly and deeply. Soon they were making out until his hands started to roam her body. She broke their kiss and blushed. She tried to escape from his embrace, but he held on tighter. "What's wrong?" He asked sadly.

"I just realized that I'm naked." She whispered and blushed beet red when he gave her a panty dropping smile.

"You know I've already seen you," *kiss "making love to me no less." *kiss "Why are you shy? I already told you, you were perfect." He kissed her.

"Compared to whom?" She said sadly.

"To no one, I compare you to no one, you are one of a kind." He said while cupping her face and looking into the windows of her soul. Her breathe hitched and she attacked his mouth. Forgetting that her hands were hurt she grabbed both sides of his face and deepened the kiss. They broke apart for air and he stood up. He wanted to keep going but knew he couldn't, not now anyways. He placed her on the floor and wrapped the towel around her. Giving her a peck on the lips, he helped her get dressed and brush her hair. He even braided it.

While he took a quick shower, she called Dr. Stone to fill her in on what had happened, and Dr. Stone told her that she could come over today if she liked, to which she agreed. She spoke to John about their plans and sent a message to Dr. Stone saying she could go after they had brunch, and that John would be accompanying her.

* * *

When Stanley came to him and told him he wanted to talk he had no idea what was wrong, but he could tell it was eating at Stan. He asked him questions about what could be done if a child was being abused.

Then today Stan came and told him he had no intention of going to law school that he wanted to be a photographer. Richard knew that this was Alexandra's doing, he had not minded so much thinking it was a hobby but now he was pissed. Stan was supposed to continue the family business along with his brother, like he had done and his father before him, but he would not force it on him.

He was shocked when he found out that Alexandra was in trouble and Stan needed his help to help her. He was willing to go to law school, work hard, and join the firm, on two conditions. The first was to help Alexa for free and the second that he was going continue photography and that he would take classes for photography in college, as long as they did not interfere with his law degree. Richard was proud, Stan sounded like a lawyer already. He had no choice but to agree, not that it would take up much of his time.

When he got to the hospital and saw her lying there, he was sick to his stomach. Although he had initially been angry at her, he in fact did like her. She was a good friend to Stan, kept him in check and out of trouble. Although he did not know much about her, he knew she had a kind heart and good soul, how anyone could hurt her was beyond him. Even through the mask he could see the left side of her face was red. The hospital gown was draping off her shoulder and he saw the four purple marks. He looked at her hands, they were bandaged, and he could see four more marks on her forearm. One of her legs was exposed and he saw the bandages. The one on her thigh caught his attention, her blood was bleeding through slowly. He was happy for his cool demeanor as she retold what had happened and was surprised she was not breaking down. In fact she acted as if nothing had happened as she retold what transpired. If her body wasn't evidence enough, the way she acted when she awoke told a story. She had been trying to free herself from John's grasp. She was a fighter, she was strong. He didn't understand what John had meant when he explained about her being connected to the wires until he got her medical record.

Not only was she depressed and suffered from anxiety problems but she had a mental disorder, taking medication for all three problems. She even saw a psychiatrist as early as the age of 9. This surprised him greatly, he knew she was smart, and talented, but she was always reserved. She never gave off that she had any problems. Looking back he found nothing until she was between the ages of 8 and 10. There were several pages of her coming to the hospital for welts on her legs and backside. In some cases there had been bleeding, and she wouldn't be able to sit. It seemed that CPS looked into it, but they never found anything, plus it was only one out of five children who kept going to the hospital. For two years it seemed she endured physical abuse, he wondered what else she had been through. He would not know until he spoke more to her to build his case. Proving abuse did not seem too difficult a task and it should be a quick case.

He glanced over at her birth certificate, doing a double take. Father: James Bennet, Mother: Ashley Burton, Born: September 2, 1997. Single birth. He knew that something was wrong. Stan always used to put on his calendar Alexa's birthday: Aug. 31. He called an employee to track down and send him any records he could find on the family. Apparently Alexa had been abandoned with her father and he and Rose adopted her. He began to wonder why change her birthdate and saw that Elizabeth was the one who was born in Aug. It became clear that Mr. Bennet must have had an affair. He wanted to track down Ms. Burton and again called his employee.

It seemed as if the apple did not fall far from the tree. Ashley Burton committed suicide by hanging herself from the fan ceiling at her parents' home. She was bipolar and suffered from severe depression, but she was smart graduating with honors and top of her class. She worked at the same company as Mr. Bennet. All the pieces were falling into place, but there were still so many unanswered questions. He was able to pull some strings and got the judge to schedule a meeting for Monday all he had to do was notify the Bennet's in case they wanted to object, but he saw no reason they would. He called Stan to let him know the hearing was on Monday, and to tell ask him if Alexa mentioned anything about being adopted or the name Ashley Burton rang a bell.

* * *

Hurst had decided to wait until Sunday to let Lexie know about the hearing, he was sure she spent most of the time sleeping. He couldn't believe what his father had told him. Why would Lexie lie to them about being a twin? He called Anne and asked what he should do, and she told him maybe she did not even know, and it would be best to tell her before she found out on Monday.

The next morning he texted John to see what they were doing, they were eating brunch and then they were going to go to her doctor's house. He breathed a sigh of relief, maybe if he broke the news to her there it would be easier for her to handle, the doctor could help her. He asked John for the address and picked up Anne. They invited Mary, but she was on lock down because of the concert, she would have tried to sneak out but her mother was constantly checking on her.

Lexie and John were getting to Dr. Stone's at the same time that Hurst and Anne pulled up. Lexie hugged both of them and asked what they were doing there. He told her he had news from his father and John mentioned they were stopping by here, so he decided that it would be better if he told her while she was here. Lexie just agreed and went to ring the doorbell. Dr. Stone answered and was confused to have two more than expected but invited them in with a smile. Lexie gave her a big hug and introduced everyone and explained that Hurst had some news to tell her. They went to the living room and sat down. Everyone was quiet waiting for Hurst to speak.

"I do not know where to begin," he cleared his throat. "Lexie, my father was going over your medical record and came across your birth certificate, ha-have you never seen it?"

"I have asked to see it once for a school project, but James told me that they lost the copy and refused to get another, so I had to use Lizzy's. Then I wanted to get an ID to open a bank account but he said it would be cheaper to wait until I got my license. Why?"

"Well you see the thing is-" he let out a huge sigh. Anne held his hand for comfort. "Here, he gave me this copy, I don't know how else to tell you, I am sorry Lexie." He handed her a folded piece of paper. His hand could not stop shaking.

She slowly stood up and hesitantly took it from him. She did not understand what he was so worried about. She looked at it and then at him, and read it over again. She started shaking and a sob escaped her. The paper floated to the floor and she began to walk backwards. Her heart was racing, and she couldn't breathe, she started to hyperventilate. She was falling backwards and John caught her. She was frantically reaching for her pocket trying to pull out her little pill box but her fucking hands. John grabbed her face and faintly told her to look at him. Her eyes met his and her eyes filled up with tears, and she started to sob and then started to cry. He just held her and whispered words of love to her. Everyone else came to hold onto her, she started to relax.

After making sure she was calm enough Dr. Stone went to get some tea, and when she returned they were all still on the floor. John had her on his lap, and Anne was brushing her hair with her hand and Hurst was holding her leg. She cleared her throat, John picked up Lexie and sat on the long couch still holding her and Anne and Hurst went on each side of him. She picked up the paper but did not read it she knew what it said.

"You know don't you?" Lexie said quietly. "That's why you always gave me a present late?" She said without looking at her.

"Yes, I knew Lexie. I- it's not that I didn't want to tell you, it was best if you did not know. –"

"Why? Why would no one tell me? Why would you all lie to me?" She sounded so lost.

"When your father first came to me, he asked that I do not share this information with you. You were raised to believe that you were a twin, and that it was better than finding out you were abandoned by your mother. To which I agreed. You have to understand Lexie, you came to me when you were 8, imagine if I had shared this news with you then-"

"I would have found out eventually, what about when I get my license?" Lexie refused to look at her.

"I was hoping that by then you would be better, your father said he would explain everything to you, but he needed to know that you could handle it."

"This would be shocking news to anyone Dr." John said seething. He didn't understand how she could do this to Lexie. Lexie trusted her.

"Lexie your father- I will tell you, but you must tell me- please tell me what happened, and why your friend would have gotten this information for you."

"I don't think-" John started speaking but Lexie cupped his face and kissed him on the cheek.

She told Dr. Stone that she was going to get emancipated from James and Rose, along with everything that she remembered from her childhood and what had happened on Friday and yesterday. At the end she lifted her skirt and pulled down her knee socks to show her the cuts. She lifted the sleeve of her shirt and unbuttoned several buttons to show her his fingerprints. All without looking at her, void of any emotion. Dr. Stone started to cry silently catching Lexie's attention. She made her way to Dr. Stone, sat next to her and hugged her, until she could speak. She turned to look at Lexie.

"Oh Lexie, I am so sorry, I have failed you as a doctor. How could I have not seen the signs?"

"Didn't you see her medical record?" Hurst asked angered that Lexie was comforting Dr. Stone.

"No, I only require to see it if the patient gives reason or warning to. I never saw that in you Lexie, I knew you hated pain, and that you would never hurt yourself, other than the scratching, I am so sorry."

"It's ok Dr. Stone, please tell me what James told you." She said pleadingly.

"Um ok, he said that he had an affair, and that your mother left you at his doorstep a couple of weeks after you were born. Seeing as how you and Elizabeth were born days apart, it would be easier to tell everyone that you were twins, instead of bringing up all these questions. He moved here to start over and he told me that he did not want you to feel more out of place than you already felt. I agreed with him. With your APD it would have made it worse for you to connect with others. I I did what I thought was best. He told me that when you turned 18 he was going to explain everything to you, that she left you something, I don't remember what but I never imagined that they treated you so badly Lexie, I am so sorry, I should have known, I should have seen the signs. I shoul-"

"Dr. Stone, you have helped me so much. Please do not stress over this. As you know I believe I cannot change how you feel but in my perspective, I did not tell anyone, I believed the lies that they told me so much it became my reality. I repressed everything, and now I am beginning to see why they dislike me so much. I ruined their happy little home; I am a constant reminder about James's infidelity. I understand why you did not tell me, I understand you thought it was best. I would like it if you could come on Monday to the hearing. Mr. Hurst said that I must prove I can be on my own and I think it would benefit me if my shrink believed I could be." She gave her a small smile.

"Yes- yes, I will clear my schedule for tomorrow. I will be there and I will not let you down Lexie."

"I know." They hugged and Dr. Stone asked if she would like to talk tomorrow after the hearing, to which Lexie agreed.

* * *

"I can't believe how easily you let her off the hook." John said breaking the silence as they headed to the De Bough's.

"She did what she thought was best; and I understand why. Besides it wasn't her place to tell me, it was James's." She sighed and leaned on his shoulder as best she could.

He placed an arm around her and kissed her forehead. "How are you doing, or feeling?"

"I am fine actually. This explains so much, why Rose hates me, why I look nothing like them, they're all tall and skinny, and I'm short and well you know." She pointed to her breasts. "I'll just be happy once I have my things and I'm free from them."

"I thought I made you happy." He said playfully.

She giggled. "You do, you are. I am sure that if I didn't have you right now I'd probably be much worse. I don't know how you do it, but I am lucky to have you." She kissed his cheek. "I love you very much. I don't know how I'm going to get by this week without you."

"What do you mean? I'm not going anywhere, are you?" He asked worrying.

"I- I will be staying with Anne and Mrs. De Bough likes for things to be a certain way. I am sure I will be required to be there at a certain time and eat with them, not that I mind, but that means I can't go with you after school. I-don't know if I want to go to school whilst my hands are useless, I don't want anyone to know something bad happened. I was thinking of graduating already, I can, I could have last year, but I wanted to stay an extra year."

"Then when will I get to see you?" He asked sadly.

"We have the weekends, or until I leave Anne's."

"Where will you go? I'm sure Anne intends for you to stay with her for the rest of the school year."

She sighed. "Yes I know, the thing is though that although I know Mrs. De Bough will be generous and allow me to stay there for as long as I wish or until the school year ends, I know she doesn't want me to. I am tired of being where I'm not wanted. I can get a job and get my own place, and then I can see you anytime we want."

"You could stay with me." He said quietly.

"John I-"

"You wouldn't have to leave school, or if you want to you could and you wouldn't have to get a job, my family has enough money, and we could be together all the time."

"It's not that I don't want to John, but what will your family think, what would people say if they found out. Think of the gossip, I can't do that to you or your family. I like my plan best, and I did not say that I would leave school only that I was thinking of it. I will probably need to get a job anyways to show that I can support myself."

"What if we got married?" He deadpanned.

She sat up and looked at him like he just suggested the craziest thing ever. "What?!"

"What if I asked you to marry me, would you? We could be together and people couldn't say anything about it."

"Of course they could: the only reason you married someone like me was because I'm a slut who got pregnant and to avoid a scandal, we were forced to marry." She chuckled.

"Is that a no then?" He pouted.

"It's a hell no." She giggled at his shocked expression. "Besides, I do not believe that is how a gentleman should propose to a girl." She smirked at him.

"But if I asked you the right way?"

"John, we have only been dating two weeks, it took me two whole weeks to kiss you in front of people who were not my friends. I just found out I'm a bastard child, not to mention that I was physically and psychologically abused. My birth mother did not want me and happened to take her own life. Not to mention that I was led to believe I was a twin, and that I have my own birthdate. I just want and would love nothing more than to just run away with you but I can't run away all the time."

"You would run away with me?"

"If you wanted to, but you have a responsibility to your family, and as I said I cannot run for ever. I need to do this, I don't want him to have this hold over me for the rest of my life."

"You're right as always. But I don't think he has that strong a hold anymore."

She smiled brightly, "I think you're right. I have you to thank for it you know?"

"Please don't say that, if that were true it is my fault you got hurt in the first place."

"No!" She said sharply. "You did nothing bad, it was all him. You told me you believed things happened for a reason and while I think that's bull, or thought, I can see the reason and the logic in this instance. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but luckily I have a flashlight."

"Am I supposed to be your flashlight?" He said trying not to laugh.

She giggled and then broke out laughing. He joined in and once she caught her breath, "I guess I can be just as cheesy as you!" She did not know how he made everything better. "But in all seriousness this was a good thing to happen, I don't see it but I can feel it. Like something good is going to happen, and if not I know I have you, Anne, Hurst and Mary. Even Dr. Stone."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They arrived at Anne's and John helped her with her bags, she didn't want him to leave but she knew she had to. She had Anne there, she would be ok. She walked him out to his car.

"There was something I have been holding onto and I think now is a good a time as any to give it to you." He said hugging her.

"You know you don't have to get me anything, you have done enough for me. All I need and want are you." She looked up at him. He could see the love in her eyes.

He leaned down and kissed her as if his life depended on it. "Technically it was already yours."

Her eyebrows furrowed together, and he brushed her bangs aside and kissed her brow. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small velvet pouch. He handed it to her and she looked at him. He nodded for her to open it. While she did so, he took the necklace from under her shirt and unclasped it. She held out her hand and poured out the contents onto her palm. She looked at it in awe and her eyes began to water. It was a silver charm and two silver beads.

"This is beautiful John." Was all she could say, it was a beautiful gesture; he was giving her his heart.

He picked up the two beads and placed them on the necklace and then picked up the charm and slid it on. A tear escaped her eye and he kissed it away. He clasped the necklace back on and tucked it under her shirt. She kissed him slowly and longing. She had taken off the bandages, and could move her hands more, she pulled away and cupped his face with her fingers. She leaned her forehead on his and they just stayed there. After several minutes passed she gave him a kiss and asked if he could go tomorrow, his reply was that he was already planning to. They kissed one last time and said their goodbyes.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Guest reviewer: In my opinion back then it wasn't unusual to hit your child when they misbehaved, and now it's like you can't even smack them. My mom use to hit me (nothing bad I assure you) and I have seen a lot of kids who could use a spanking but I digress. In my story CPS does get involved but I explain later in this chapter why they didn't do anything. The story takes place in the US, but in no specific area. Yes, you can get a driver's permit at 16, and while it's true that most wouldn't wait until they were 18 that's just how strong a hold they have over her, she is 17. Also where I live you are now required to take a class first then take the written test, then driving. I didn't get mine until I was 24 LOL, my mother was too afraid to teach me. **

**For the diner at the Collins's is a rough version from the story Dear Victoria. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, thank you for all of you who read and follow.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice, all rights belong to Jane Austen.**

Ch. 30

Lexie and Anne were sitting down in the living room. Luckily Anne had told her mother a fraction of what had happened, and told her that Lexie needed sometime alone. Anne was drawing, and kept glancing at Lexie she was playing with a necklace, she had not mentioned anything about it. She also noticed Lexie would keep glancing at her leg. Lexie had told her that she would like to talk to her, but for now, she first needed time alone. But she did not physically want to be left alone. There was a knock on the door and the maid came in, announcing that Will was there. She saw Lexie sit straight and turned away from him. She sat straight to and put down her sketchpad.

"William, what a pleasant surprise," she said finding her voice. "You should have called." She said tersely. The last thing Lexie needed was to feel more uncomfortable.

"I just wanted to make sure Lexie was ok." He said looking at Lexie, she still refused to look up at him.

Lexie tensed and then relaxed. Anne saw her and looked at her hands. She stood and went to sit next to Lexie, whispering something and Lexie nodded. She excused herself and left to the kitchen.

He sat down across from her, causing her to turn her body away more, she was covered up but it felt like she was naked. As if he would be able to see every scar.

"I just wanted to thank you for your help yesterday Will. I don't think I would have made it without John giving me strength. If there is ever anything you need, even if you think I cannot do it, please ask, and I will find away." She was speaking to the wall, he saw that her face was still a little red.

"I am just glad that I could help in anyway. You do not need to owe me a favor, we are friends and you needed my help."

"You do not understand, I do owe you a favor, what you did means a lot to me. I did not think about the chance that you would say no, and I know you did not want to be there, and you see it was silly to ask you to drive us when John was more than capable. I just needed him to hold me, to keep me safe, any rational person would have just driven straight to the hospital. But I asked him to stop, I couldn't hold on." She said quietly.

_Safe_. He looked up at her she still would not look at him. "If it will make you feel better, then fine you owe me _one_ favor." He gave her a small smile when she looked at him.

"It does, and I am serious, even if you think I cannot achieve it, I will try my best to help you." He nodded. "Has Charles-" she turned a little towards him.

"No! I did not tell anyone what happened; I did not think you would want others to know. I just told him John needed my help with something personal and he did not press further than that."

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I was actually going to ask if- Jane- has he mentioned anything about her….. state of mind?" She said in one breath.

"No, he hasn't, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for." She said nonchalantly. _No love lost. Way to fool yourself, they don't care, no one has called, no one has tried to contact you! __Maybe she told him and he is also keeping a secret?_. _No you know better than that, they don't love you, they don't care. Don't hope, don't be disappointed again. Don't hope…._she repeated that mantra over and over in her head.

"May I ask what you plan to do now?" Will asked after a few moments of silence.

She smiled, "Of course you may, but I might not answer." He nodded sadly and looked down. "I was just thinking about it actually, I still do not know. I have a hearing tomorrow, so I will see what happens from there."

"What time is the hearing?"

"At 9, Mr. Hurst believes, it should be quick, and I ho-pe…..," she faltered. "So. Hope," she gave a dry chuckle. "You would think that after being disappointed so many times, that feeling would have died by now. But no, feelings don't die. They just haunt you, they hide in every corner, and they drown you, suffocating you slowly until you can't take it anymore." She said darkly. He looked up at her sadly, she sat with her perfect posture, and her face was impassive.

"Not all feelings are bad Lexie, what about love?"

She twitched and touched her necklace. "Yes, love is a great feeling. I am sorry, it's just that I begin to overthink and it gets the best of me." She thought about John, and all bad thoughts faded.

He looked at her, she had love in her eyes and he could only imagine how she looked at John. He wanted that, someone to love him, make him happy. She was looking at the wall and played with her necklace again. It caught his attention and he faltered, when he saw her palms. He focused on the charms. "I assume John gave you the necklace?"

She smiled brightly and nodded. "When he asked me out, and he recently gave me this charm today." She held out the heart. He saw her palm again, but did not flinch. She noticed his eyes shift, and put her hands down immediately.

"It looks really expensive." He said trying to focusing on the charm. He knew good quality when he saw it.

"Do you only see the monetary value to this Will?" She stared at him, of course he did. She sighed, "Of course you do. Not that there is anything wrong with it!" She amended, "But I do not think of the value, or care. I think about him. I think about a letter her wrote me, I remember it verbatim. All these memories flash through my head, and I feel the way I always feel when I'm with him. I just wish I could repay him, show him how much he means to me. What do you get someone who can have anything they want?"

"Well you're blatantly honest." Of course it was normal to think of the value. What if she lost it?

"So I have been told. I did not mean to offend you, it is just that it seems as if you keep insinuating I care about his money."

"I am sorry I was trying not to think of your hands." He faltered and blanched.

She looked down at her palms and turned them face down. "I see." She said thinking deeply.

"I am sorry I do not know what came over me, it seems I always offend you." He sighed and ran his and through his hair.

"I understand, and I took no offense." He looked at her skeptically but she was telling the truth.

"Why not sing him a song to show your feelings? I think it would mean a lot to him. I know I would like it if you sang a song just for me."

She smiled brightly. "Yes that is a wonderful idea, now to find the perfect song. Thank you." She said and looked at the wall back playing with the charms.

He gave her a small smile. He felt sad and did not know why. "Yes, well I must leave now; I just wanted to check on you."

He stood and she stood and she turned towards him. He faltered in his step and looked at her, she came up to him and hugged him. "Thank you Will, you are a great friend." She was pulling away and he wrapped his arms around her to keep her there longer.

He felt that same warmth he had felt when she first hugged him. He didn't want to let her go, but Anne came back to the room. Lexie pulled away and went to hug Anne. Anne seemed to feel the same way too, and smiled brightly, and took a deep breath. He said goodbye to them both.

* * *

James awoke in a bad mood today. Dinner last night with the Collins had been horrible, and now he had to go over to their house tonight. He had to figure a way to get Collins fired. It was around 10 when there was a knock on his study, he could tell it was Rose by her frantic knocking. He just ignored her, she knocked again.

"James! A lawyer just came to the house, and he handed me an envelope." She slid it under the door and walked away.

He quickly went to collect it. It was from Hurst Law and he ripped it open, scanning the letter quickly and then again and again. He couldn't believe it. She was trying to leave him! She was going to leave him. No! He wasn't going to let her get away so easily, she was his. He yelled for Rose to come into the study and explained to her what the letter said.

"Oh thank the Lord! We can finally be rid of her!" She fanned herself.

"WHAT!" He yelled.

"Well I mean isn't that what you want? Why would you want her here?" She asked truly confused.

"Because she is mine! Not to mention she wants to take all of her awards, her horse and her belongings. She'll never come back if she has nothing here."

"Let her have them! What did you think would happen after yesterday? What are you going to do when she goes away to college? James I think you should just give her what she wants and let her be, and we can be a family, the family we should have been in the first place." She said with anger in her voice.

He looked at her like she had gone mad, she knew better than to try and guilt him. He almost lost it, but kept his control. "Rose, she is part of this family whether you like it or not, she is _my_ daughter. So tomorrow, you, Lizzie, and I will be attending the hearing to show how much we love her and how happy we are as a family. Is that understood?" He said seething, Rose knew not to protest.

"How do we explain yesterday then?" She asked sadly.

He went into detail, what he had told Lizzie, and how they were going to use her disorder against her.

Lizzie was getting ready for tonight, she really hated Billy, and his family. They were so annoying and seemed so fake pretending to be perfect. It was unnatural and creepy. When she woke up this morning she knew everything would be different. She looked at Lexie's corner and felt sad, usually Lexie would be waking up with her. She decided to go for a walk. She had always thought if Lexie hurt herself and now she knew. Thinking back she could remember Lexie always had red marks on her arms and hands. Even her thighs.

She tried to think back on their childhood. How did Lexie turn out this way, why was she the only one of them that was different? Sure all of them were different from one another, well except Kitty and Lydia. But how did she get so bad. She knew Lexie had always been different, that's why she got picked on at school. She decided not to dwell on it anymore, this was typical Lexie, disappear for a couple of days. Tomorrow she would be back, listening to music or with her face glued to her computer. Things would be back to normal Monday night.

Her mother and father seemed to be in a weird mood when she got back to the house. She checked in on Jane who looked lost, but relatively normal. She asked what had been wrong and Jane looked at her as if she had grown two heads.

"I was thinking about Lexie. I was thinking about how I never noticed the signs before, but now it makes sense. She would always be scratching herself in the same spot. I use to see her trying to cover up the red marks and at times I would even see scabs, like she scratched herself until she bled. I should have reached out to her I should have-" She started to sob.

"Jane please do not stress over this, there is nothing any of us could have done. Even if you had tried she would have shut you out. Not even her psychiatrist is able to help her. Lexie's been seeing her for almost 10 years and I have not noticed anything different." She hugged Jane.

"You're right, sorry it's just that I begin to think that I failed you all as an older sister."

"No Jane you didn't fail anyone."

* * *

They arrived at The Collins's at 6 on the dot. Lizzie cringed internally as they entered the house. It looked like an old lady lived here, and smelled like mothballs. There was plastic on the couches and tiny little glass figures of cats everywhere. They chatted for a while and she was very uncomfortable because Billy had singled her out and was sitting a little too close for comfort. When it was time to eat he even made sure that he sat next to her. This was going to be a long night. He kept talking about Mrs. De Bough and it was nothing she hadn't heard from him before so she decided to tease him and finished each sentence for him. He began to praise her, obviously rehearsed.

"I am sure you have no trouble with the ladies, paying them compliments all the time." James said warmly but Lizzie could tell he was teasing him.

"Just like his old man." Mr. Collins beamed proudly. She was glad she had learned no to laugh aloud unlike Lydia and Kitty who snorted. One look from their dad silenced them.

"Yes, I have a natural talent for pointing out others best qualities."

"Tell me Billy, do you come up with these compliments on the spot or do you use the same lines over and over? Maybe you practice a lot?" Lizzie said. Mr. and Mrs. Collins along with her mother looked appalled and her father gave her a small smirk.

It went unnoticed by him. "I come up with most of them on the spot, but I do have some up my sleeve, that I use occasionally. I don't like to use those though."

"Of course you don't, everything you say sounds _so_ original and not rehearsed at all." She said.

Luckily Lydia who was drinking tea started laughing but ended up chocking on her tea and Kitty had to hit her back creating a distraction.

The night came to an end and Rose could not stop going on and on about what a good catch Billy would be to Lizzie, causing Lydia and Kitty to burst into a fit of giggles.

"I think mom wants to set you and Billy up!" Lydia told Lizzie and continued to laugh.

"Can you imagine Mrs. Lizzie Collins?!"

"Oh my gosh, Billy and Lizzie rhyme!"

They got home and her father sent Lydia and Kitty to bed, but wanted to talk to her and Jane. So they went into his study. Lizzie sat at her chair.

"So what's up pop?" Lizzie asked.

"Tomorrow you and Jane will be coming with your mother and me to city hall. It seems that Lexie is trying to get emancipated."

"What! Can she do that? What about her disorder or depression! What if she tries to hurt herself again?" Jane cried and her eyes started to fill with tears. James was shocked it seemed like it was going to be easier than he thought. He knew Jane was a horrible liar.

"Yes that is what I am worried about too, but not to worry, that is why we are going to go to show the judge that we love her and are worried about her. Hopefully the judge will agree with us."

"Don't worry dad, you can count on us." Lizzie told him and gave him a kiss and hug.

* * *

Lexie entered the court room smiling, she would finally be free. Anne, Hurst and Dr. Stone walked in ahead of her and John was by her side she stopped as soon as she entered and went out the door. He had come, and he brought Rose, Lizzie and Jane with him. Why couldn't he just let her go? Why? She thought this is what he would have wanted especially Rose. But she knew Rose held no actual power, it belong to him.

"Lexie are you ok?" John came up to her cupping her face.

"Why are they here John? Why can't he just let me go?" She hugged him and breathed in his scent.

"It's ok Lexie, Mr. Hurst is the best lawyer in the city, and Judge Roberts is a close friend of my families."

She looked up at him. "You arranged this, didn't you?" A small smile playing on her lips.

"Me? Never!" He said failing to hide his smile. "My grandfather on the other hand…."

She looked around and pulled him in for a kiss. "So everything will be ok?"

"I can't promise you that, but I can promise you, you will not go back to that house. I'm going to do everything I can to keep you safe." He hugged her.

Anne came to get her and she walked in with her head held high and refused to look at them afraid that she would break. Lizzie and Jane noticed that she avoided them and felt hurt.

She saw a man sitting in the back, but thought maybe he was here early for another hearing.

* * *

Mr. Hurst came prepared, he was not going to lose, he never did. When Stan mentioned that Alexa's doctor was going to come he was relieved, it would be easier to prove Alexa was stable enough to be on her own. He did not recognize the man in the back but paid him no attention. He saw the Bennet's and knew they were there to fight him in court. He looked at Mr. Bennet with disgust, he saw the way he looked at Alexa as if she were his possession, but his eyes had disdain. There was no way he was going to let her return to that house.

"Judge Roberts I am here to prove that the Bennet household is no longer a safe place for Alexandra to be, she wants to be emancipated, and knows what that entails. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she is better off alone than with her parents." Mr. Hurst said.

"The thing is though Judge Roberts that Alexa suffers from depression, and an anxiety disorder. She has been on medication since she was 9 and as you can see The Bennet's love her and wish for her to come home."

"If we are calling into question Ms. Bennet's state of mind her psychiatrist Dr. Stone who has been her doctor for 9 years is here today."

The other lawyer Mr. Day faltered. "Ms. Bennet, can you please come up to the bench and explain why you wish to be emancipated." Judge Roberts called on her.

She made her way to the bench and was read in. She heard Rose say something about her hands. "The reason I would like to get emancipated is that I no longer feel safe being at the house."

"Is this a new feeling, or did something happen to make you feel this way?"

"No it is not a new felling, more of a repressed feeling, and yes, events took place this Friday and Saturday to make me believe otherwise." The Judge motioned for her to continue. "This Friday after a concert that I was in, we were gathered at the lobby. I was left alone with James and I could see something in his eyes that unsettled me. I turned to leave and he grabbed me by the shoulder so tight…I tried to get away but he was angry that I had embarrassed him."

"How did you embarrass him?"

"I played Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns and Roses on the violin." She said quietly.

"What happened on Saturday?"

"I had stayed the night at my friend's house and we went over to the house so that I could introduce them to Aries-"

"Aries?"

"Yes, my horse, his name is Aries, I have had him for seven years. He means the world to me, he was abused and I trained him you see, so I am the only one he allows to ride him." The judge nodded for her to continue. "I wanted to get something from the house so I went in and got some books, and as I was leaving Rose stopped me, telling me she had been calling me for hours and that I was not allowed to leave I was to attend dinner that night. I refused, I had already made plans and I was going to leave but James stopped me. He reluctantly let me leave and I returned to my friend, but I had forgotten something, so I went back inside. When I reached my room James was taking down my pictures because I did not comply with him. He even went as far as to throw several of them on the floor. Saying it was his house and he could do what he wants. I went to stop him and he slapped me twice. He would have continued h-"

"Objection! Your honor, this is hearsay, I have other witnesses to testify against that."

"I'm sorry Mr. Day I believe I was asked to tell my story, you must wait your turn to tell yours." Lexie said causing her side of the room to smirk. "As I was saying, he slapped me twice across the face and my sister Elizabeth called out to him and he stopped. He told me that I would not be allowed to leave the house until I cleaned up the mess he had made, to which I agreed. I was going to go tell my friend to wait for me and get a broom and dust pan and he grabbed me again and threw me to the floor, where I fell on the broken glass."

"And what happened after that?" It did not go unnoticed that she did not say mom and dad, and instead of home she used house.

"I went to tell my friend to wait, and I came back in, I cleaned up and then I packed more of my possessions and I left. I have not heard from any of them ever since."

"Where did you stay?"

"I stayed that night at the hospital and yesterday I stayed at my friends."

"Has Mr. Hurst explained to you that you would need to be able to prove that you can take care of yourself?"

"Yes, that requires, being able to provide my own shelter and pay for my own needs. I can assure you your Honor that I have my own money, which I made tutoring. I have over $2,000 saved and I am very good at math, my best and favorite subject and I have no doubt in my mind that I can achieve those goals by setting a budget."

"Tell me Ms. Bennet, how long have you been seeing your psychiatrist?" Mr. Day asked.

"For about 8 years."

"Can you please tell the court why you see her? Do you even know?"

"Yes, medically speaking, I have an Anxious Personality Disorder, along with panic attacks. I have trust issues, I am preoccupied with my own shortcomings and I only form relationships with others only if I believe I will not be rejected by them. Loss and rejection are too painful for me, and I would rather be alone then connect with others. I-"

"So are you saying that you would feel bad being separated from your family?" She wanted yell at him.

"As I was saying," she replied calmly, "It stems from emotional neglect from my parents, and rejection of my peers. To answer your question, no I would not feel anything if I was separated from them." Her words angered Lizzie, her parents were great, of course Lexie wouldn't feel anything she was a robot.

"So your depression would not get the best of you?"

"Just because my record says that I am depressed, does not mean that I am. I am cynical, I see the world for what it is, I don't have any false hopes or fantasies. Anything achieved is done so by working hard. If your next question concerns my medication, I can afford to pay for it myself. Also in the near future I will no longer be taking my pills, I have recently changed my medication."

Mr. Day had no more questions, and the judge let her down and called James to the stand, she could tell that he looked at her and kept looking at her, but she was staring at the judge. James told his version of events, stating that Alexa was the one who got angry and went to her room to destroy her own pictures. He walked in seeing that she was about to cut herself and the only thing he could think of at the time was to slap her. And when he grabbed her, he did not throw her, she threw herself on the glass. She was angry, and glanced at Rose and them when he said that his family knew he was telling the truth. How could they believe she would hurt herself?

He was about to step down but Mr. Hurst stopped him to ask him a few questions. James faltered but kept his cool demeanor and sat back down.

"Mr. Bennet you claim to have been trying to stop Alexandra from hurting herself correct?"

"Yes, I love _my_ Lexie very much." She cringed, and reached for her neck, she wasn't his. She kept telling herself.

"I see, can you please explain then why on Friday you grabbed her so hard, you left these marks on her shoulder, or how about the ones on her forearm from Saturday? How about the fact that you slapped her so hard that the entire left side of her face was red?" He pulled out the pictures that were taken. "I'd like to put these as evidence." He handed copies to the judge and other lawyer.

"I was afraid she would hurt herself, my child is very depressed."

"Were you worried she would end up like her mother then?"

James paled and his lawyer objected. "Your Honor I can assure you that Rose Bennet, has never been treated for depression."

"I was not speaking of Rose Bennet, I was referring to Ashley Burton, Alexandra's birth mother who also suffered from depression and took her own life." He handed a document over to the judge and other lawyer.

Lizzie and Jane gasped, Lexie kept looking at the judge. Who was looking back at her.

"Mr. Bennet? Did you believe she would do something so horrible?"

"Yes." He said tersely trying to keep his demeanor.

"And how about when Alexandra was between the ages of 8 and 10, did you feel she was going to hurt herself at such a young age?"

"I fail to comprehend your meaning."

"I have here, Alexandra's hospital records, between those ages; she had to be admitted several times into the hospital for severe bruising to her backside and legs. Did you believe that she was going to hurt herself then? Enough to give her such a bad beating she could not sit?"

"Alexandra was a problem child, and yes she was always trying to hurt herself, or trying to run away. I was at my limit by the time she turned 8, with four other children and a job. But if you ask my other children I never laid a hand on them."

"Yes, that is why the Child Protective Services was never able to take Alexandra away, she refused to talk and your other children never had a problem."

After more arguments from both sides and Dr. Stone testifying on her behalf the Judge called a recess and left to make his decision. She was happy that her family went outside leaving her and the rest of her supporters in the courtroom. It was then that the mystery man made his presence known.

"Hello, Ms. Bennet, I am Mr. Sawyer. I am here on behalf of Edward Burton, your uncle."

"How did you know about Alexandra and why are you here now?" Asked Mr. Hurst.

"You see Ms. Burton kept a journal, where she revealed that she had a daughter that she left with the father. We were able to track down your birth certificate, but you were "adopted" and the records were sealed. No other information was mentioned. No names, no cities, nothing. Mr. Burton put a flag on his sister's name so if anyone ever tried to look for her we would be notified. We were going to wait until you were 18, but this Saturday, the flag went off. We knew it was your office Mr. Hurst who ran the search, Mr. Burton asked me to come by and see what was happening. As soon as I saw you Ms. Bennet I knew there was no denying that you are Ashley's daughter, you look exactly like her.''

"I do?" She gave a small smile. Mr. Sawyer frowned.

"Have you no prior knowledge that Ashley was your mom?" She had said she left her with pictures so that she would always know who her mother was.

"No, I just found out yesterday. All my life I thought I was a twin." She said sadly.

"I see, after the hearing would you and Mr. Hurst have time to talk?"

"Can my friends be in attendance?"

He looked at them all and thought about it for a while. "Yes, that is not a problem."

"Do you have the time Mr. Hurst?"

"Yes, let me just call to reschedule some meetings."

"Ok then, will you wait or would you like for us to meet you somewhere?"

"I will wait."

The judge came back into the court room and asked Lexie to stand. She held her breath in as she waited for his deliberation.

"I hereby grant your petition for emancipation." She breathed and smiled. "I also grant that you be allowed to take your possessions including but not limited to your paintings and pictures, your awards, your horse and clothing, ect." He banged the gravel and Lexie started to cry, she was free from him. Finally free. She hugged Mr. Hurst who was shocked but returned her hug, he felt great. He looked over to the Bennet's who looked angry.

Lexie hugged Anne, Hurst and Dr. Stone, waiting to hug John last. She wanted to kiss him, she had been afraid her family would see but then she realized she didn't have to worry about them anymore so she kissed him and he picked her up in his arms and spun her. Her skirt fluttered up exposing her thigh. She could hear Rose gasping trying to gather her thoughts. "HE LIKES HER! How can he possibly like her? Did you see those scars!?" She cringed and John told her not to listen to her. She just nodded and smiled at him.

They followed Mr. Sawyer to a diner a couple of blocks away. They all sat down and ordered coffee or tea. Anne, Hurst, John and Dr. Stone sat in the booth next to theirs to give them some privacy, but not completely.

"So I have an uncle? Do I have any other relatives?"

"Yes, you have your grandparents and your uncle is married with two children, boys."

"Do they know about me?"

"Yes, your great grandfather even left you something in his will, and they would all like to meet you."

"Did you know my mom?"

"Yes," he cleared his throat. "We grew up together." Was all he said.

"You mentioned something... waiting until she was 18 to contact her? " Mr. Hurst spoke up.

"Yes, we figured that you would want to look for her, or we planned that when you went to get the money she left you, the bank would notify us."

"She-she left me money?"

There was a hint of anger in his eyes. "Yes, here it is in her journal." He opened his briefcase and pulled out a pale blue journal. She opened the book to the last entry, some of the words were smeared, someone had cried while reading this, were they her tears she wondered.

_Sep. 10, 1998_

_It has been 12 long months since I last held my little girl in my arms. Yes it has been 1 year but it feels more appropriate to say 12 months. 12 is a bigger number compared to 1. I cannot take these feeling of guilt that I have inside of me. I am a horrible mother, how could I abandon my child, my baby, a life that I carried for nine months. How could I leave her with that man? My family keeps asking about the 10 months I disappeared, how can I tell them, how would they treat me? Knowing I had an affair with a married man? Knowing I left my only child to a stranger when I could have provided for her on my own._

_No! They would have disowned me for bringing the family name shame. They would have made sure I had nothing to my name. It is better this way. Luckily I have pictures and letters to prove the affair, and I was able to blackmail him. He will keep her. With all the money he sent me I have opened up a savings account for when she is 18 she can at least know I cared enough for her to leave her something. I wonder what she looks like now; I wonder what she will be like. I hope she is not like me, I hope she is better. I hope I did not burden her. Though my shrink says that depression cannot be passed on, but she might be bipolar. I hope I made the right choice and that she will be happy. I know she has my eyes, and her hair looks a little reddish, will that change? I know she doesn't look like him, will that change too?_

_Why couldn't he love me? What was wrong, with me? I did everything right, I loved him with all my being. Could he see that I was broken? What is wrong with me? If he loved his wife why did he lead me on? Was I just a toy for him? Were his words false? I want to tell myself they weren't I'd like to believe that deep down he did love me. But why didn't he choose me? I hope he can at least show our daughter the love he showed me once. I hate myself, I hate that I left her, I hate what he did to me, how he made me feel. These memories won't go away, they haunt me. Her face, her beautiful face._

_Edward and Lilly came over for diner today with my nephew Kevin. I am so envious of him and his happy family that could have been me, that could have been us, if he had only chosen me. Looking at Kevin reminds me of what could have been, what I could have had, what I gave up. I can't even hold my nephew the pain is too great and what's worse is that I know I hurt Edward's feelings. He doesn't know, he doesn't understand. Growing up we were close, but over the last years we have grown apart. All because of me, I pushed him away, I pushed my family away. I hate myself more than I ever have before, I keep cutting but the emotional pain won't go away, now I feel both. I am left wishing that I could cut deep enough, but no. They would bring me back like last time. I need to make sure I can't come back this time. That there will be no way of reviving me. _

_I cannot take it anymore, this guilt is too much. I just want my baby back, my child, my love. But no, she has a new mother a better mother than I could have been. Please Lord, help her through life, be there for her, and make sure she is safe and happy. I cannot take this heavy pain in my heart; I cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror. I am no better than that man, I am nothing, I deserve to die, I have known this for a long time. I hope he gives her the album I sent, so that she may know what I looked like, I hope she can see that I did love her. I hope he tells her the good things about me, I hope she can forgive me and most of all I hope that my family can forgive me, for I cannot. Dear Lord, give me strength to go through with what I have planned, I am tired of trying and failing. I will not fail this time._

She did not know she was crying until a tear hit the page and smeared the handwriting. She tried to clean it but it smeared worse and she threw the book on the table. She looked up at Mr. Sawyer and he had tears in his eyes too. This was her last entry, she knew what happened afterwards. She pushed those feelings down, she had to otherwise she would not be able to continue. She let out a sob and tried to compose herself. She called for John and he sat next to her, holding her, she felt so lost.

"So what does this mean? She left me money? And an album?"

"I am afraid that only your father can answer that question." She nodded.

They spoke more and Mr. Sawyer said that he would return with her uncle and he left her his card. Mr. Hurst said it was best if she could gather her things today, and to not hold it off any longer.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Hi, sorry if it seems like it took me long to update. I did not know where to cut off this chapter so I broke my 6,000 word rule, which I have been doing a lot lately. I do not now when I will be posting again. This next weekend will be a hectic one so I hope this holds you over. Next chapter will contain more Lizzy and Jane, or I might write another huge chapter. Getting close to the Netherfield dance. **

**I'd like to thank those of you who review, along with read and/or follow the story. Thank you so much I never thought people would be interested in my story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice all right belong to Jane Austen. **

Ch. 31

Lizzie couldn't believe what she had heard, Lexie wasn't her sister, wasn't her twin. She couldn't wrap her head around it. She needed to speak to her father. The car ride home was a quiet one, but her mom seemed to be smiling and humming quietly. As soon as they got home her dad went to his study and turned on the music. Jane went to her room and she looked so sad. Lizzie was torn, she wanted to comfort Jane, but she wanted answers. She boldly went to knock on her dads study. She pressed her ear against the door and she could hear him crying. She knocked their secret knock and the door opened slowly. She was met with her father's brown bloodshot eyes. She went up to hug him and he tightly returned the hug.

"She's gone my Lizzie Bear, she's gone and she's never coming back." He sobbed into her shoulder.

"Dad, please don't cry, I'm sure there is a way we can still fix this."

"How Lizzie, didn't you hear her she doesn't care about us, she's happy. I didn't mean to hurt her Lizzie I didn't. I was just worried she was going to end up like her mom. I didn't want to lose her."

"So it's true! You cheated on mom?" Lizzie pushed him away in disbelief and he was shocked.

"Yes, it's the one thing I regret the most. She was a coworker, who knew I was married. I use to brag about Jane all the time. She seduced me Lizzie, we were celebrating one night and I drank more than I should have. She started to kiss me, and I tried to reject her, but she was beautiful and young, and I gave into my desire for her. It was only once Lizzie I swear. She told me she was on birth control, next thing I knew she was pregnant and she wanted me to leave Jane and your mom for her. But I loved your mom, I do love your mom. I told her I wouldn't leave them."

"So how did you end up with Lexie, and why did you tell us we were twins?"

"The day I found out she was pregnant I told your mom, and she forgave me. The next thing we knew you were going to come along. When I went back to work she was gone. I didn't hear anything from her until she left Lexie at our door in the middle of the night. She was born two days after you, and then she was asking me for money. She had evidence and she would have told the company, I would have been fired. So we moved, and decided it would be better to tell everyone that you were twins, as not to embarrass the family. For a whole year I sent her money and then I got a-letter, from her. I did not know it would be her last. She told me that she was going to take her own life." He sighed. "I went to her funeral and no one in her family knew about Lexie, she was missing the months she was pregnant and I overheard people saying that it wasn't her first attempt, she was really depressed."

"Wow, how horrible, poor Lexie! Does she know?"

"No." He wanted to say yes, he could have. He lied about everything else, why couldn't he lie about that?

"But what about the schools and teachers, what about her birth certificate? Wouldn't they have said something to us, about our birthdays?"

"We adopted Lexie, your mom and me together. We told your teachers that we adopted Lexie, but you believed you were twins. When she transferred schools, we told each teacher the same. We didn't want her to feel different or left out. Imagine how someone like Lexie handled finding out her mom didn't want her, so she abandoned her. That's what I'm worried about, that she'll hurt herself knowing the truth."

"Your right, dad. Please don't cry, I've never seen you cry. Everything will be ok." She hugged him again.

After making sure her dad was fine she made her way up to Jane's room. The door was locked she knocked at Jane asked her to go away, she wanted to be alone. Lizzie was shocked, Jane always welcomed her in, they shared everything. She just needs time, she chided herself. She went to her room and looked around. She slumped down on the bed and stared at Lexie's side. She began to imagine what it would look like soon. Soon there would be nothing there. Nothing would be left to remind her that Lexie lived here, or was ever a part of their lives. All they would have are photos, videos and memories. She decided to take a look at each of the pictures on the wall; she began to think about Lexie's version of events. Lexie treasured each thing she hung on the wall. Once she broke a frame and replaced it with a similar one. Somehow Lexie noticed, but she wouldn't say anything; she would just stare at it.

She wanted to believe Lexie didn't hurt herself, but it went against everything she knew about Lexie, but what did she know about her? She was depressed, she never smiled, she was always quiet, and sat with her perfect posture, like she was better than them. She couldn't believe Lexie said she would feel nothing. She feels nothing about leaving them. She felt her blood boiling, her father was not a bad man, he didn't deserve the heartache Lexie caused him. He was a good man, he took Lexie in, he gave her whore mother money, even though her father was going to raise her, feed her, and shelter her. What kind of a mother was she, Lexie should be grateful. They never did anything to her, so what Lexie got punished, she must have done something to deserve it. Her dad did not hit her, and she misbehaved, so Lexie must have been bad. Mr. Hurst had said Lexie couldn't sit at times, he was a liar. Lexie never should signs that she was hurt. She must have faked it. How could she say that her parents neglected her? Sure their mom was a little silly, but she was a good mom. How could she say that about their dad? Their dad was always supportive of Lexie, and made sure she practiced, did her homework.

Looking around the room she realized that she would finally have a room all to herself. She started to think about how she was going to change it once her stuff was gone. Maybe she would put a couch and TV.

* * *

When Mr. Sawyer and Mr. Hurst left, Lexie stayed in John's arms and Anne, Hurst, and Dr. Stone moved to her booth. She didn't say anything she just sat there, eventually she turned to them and told them everything that happened. She asked Dr. Stone if she could meet with her later than expected, she had to get her belongings as soon as possible. Dr. Stone understood. Lexie gave her a big hug goodbye and told her she would call her. The next order of business was to find a way to move her things and think about where to leave Aries, she was not going to leave him there. She also needed to speak with James, but she was afraid, afraid to be left alone with him.

John pulled her out of her thoughts. He, Anne, and Hurst had taken care of everything. He called to get a UHAL truck and even found a place for Aries to stay until she found something more permanent for him. She felt her heart strings being pulled. They had done this while she was talking to Mr. Sawyer and she only wished she could repay them. She couldn't think about it now though, she would break and she couldn't right now. She was happy and sad at the same time, she was excited and worried, it was a tornado of emotions, her brain and heart kept fighting.

She went with John in the truck and Hurst and Anne followed in his SUV. She needed boxes and called the stores she frequented to ask for any, she was in luck one of them had just gotten their trailer. Hurst stopped by to pick them up and they headed to her old house. As Lexie pulled up she looked out, everything still looked the same but it felt different. She got her key and took it of her key ring. She went to ring the bell and Rose answered. She had been smiling but her face fell as soon as she saw her.

"What are you doing here?" She sneered.

She wanted to talk back, but controlled her temper. "I came to get all of my things." She simply replied.

Rose nodded and allowed them to enter. She offered everyone but Lexie a drink and they all denied. She led them to her old room and knocked on the door. Lizzie answered it confused and a look of annoyance came upon her face when she saw Lexie. Lizzie motioned for them to enter and left the room. She went to Jane's to see if she was ready to talk. Luckily for her Jane opened the door. Jane saw everyone going into the room. She hoped that Lexie would come see her before she left.

As John, Anne and Hurst entered the room they glanced around. Neither Anne nor Hurst had ever been over, they had never seen this part of Lexie. Lexie didn't know where to start, or how she was going to be able to do anything.

"John, start taking down the frames, Hurst start bringing up the boxes, Lexie and I will pack her belongings." Anne started.

They worked fast but did not speak much, they just wanted to finish. One all of her things were packed and put into the truck. John and Hurst took the furniture and loaded it. Next were the trophies. Though to Lexie, they held no sentimental value, she had given into her evil side and wanted to take them. She knew how much James loved to brag about her awards and trophies. This would hurt him, this was her way of making him suffer. She smiled as she told Anne to just toss them into the boxes without care. If only he could see. When they finished she asked Hurst to go with her into the study with James. John looked hurt, but did not say anything. Hurst on the other hand was more than happy. John and Anne waited nervously in the living room while Rose spoke to them.

Hurst knocked on the door for her. James didn't answer right away, but they could hear him in there. He knocked again with more force and he answered. When he saw Lexie he averted his gaze and allowed her in. He was going to block Hurst, but Lexie told him she knew her mother left her two things and she wanted to speak to him, but if he would not allow Hurst in then she would leave. James reluctantly agreed and went to sit at his desk.

"How did you find out about the money and album?" He said gravely.

"There was a man at the hearing, he knew my mother and he told me." Was all she said.

"What did he tell you?"

"That my mother wrote in her journal about me, and that she put all the money you sent her into a savings account. She also mentioned that she sent an album. May I please have it and my birth certificate now, and social security card?"

His nostrils flared and a dark look crossed his eyes. He looked at her, she held her chin up. He saw Hurst in his peripheral vision, sitting tall and protectively next to her, tense up. He sighed and took a key out of his desk. He went to a hidden compartment and unlocked it. He pulled out files and an album. He handed her the album and looked through the papers. He found what he was looking for and handed them to her reluctantly. He looked at her, she held her head high and was emotionless, and was looking at him in the eyes, as if trying to look for something, searching.

"Do you have any questions?"

"Did you love her?" She stared at him, still searching.

"No," he lied.

She just nodded and looked at the documents he handed her. It was her birth certificate, and an envelope along with bank book. She stood up, Hurst followed.

"Did you ever love me? She stared at him.

"Yes, please forgive me. I am sorry, I love you, and I never meant to hurt you. I promise it will never happen again." His eye reviled his lie.

She turned to leave.

"You're not going to say anything? I apologized, what more do you want? You know I love you." He said with a hint of anger.

"What else is there?" She said impassively. Her thoughts went to John she couldn't believe he would lie about not loving her mother and about loving herself just to hurt her. How could he lie? She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"You can leave Aries here if you like, so you don't have to worry about him." He was trying to find a way to get her to come back, anything to keep her tied here.

"No, arrangements have been made; I am going to wait for the trailer to come for him." She turned to leave and stopped at the door. "I just wanted to thank you for keeping me, and raising me. I never needed anything, but you failed to give me the one thing I wanted, your love. Do not think I am ungrateful, I am not. I understand why you could not love me, so thank you for all you and Rose have done for me. Goodbye."

"Do you really think you can survive on your own? Succeed without me to guide you?" He sneered at her.

"I would like to tell you that I have always been alone, but I am not. *I'd like to do more than survive I'd like to rub it in your face. Success is in the eye of the beholder, and it's looking even better over your cold shoulder." With that she turned and walked out the door, Hurst behind her leaving a stunned James to sit at his desk. He couldn't believe she just said that. She could tell he was lying. She didn't ask him any other questions, and what did it matter. At least ask about Ashley but no. He would make her break with the letters Ashley had had sent him.

When Hurst closed the door behind her he picked her up in a bear hug. "I'm so proud of you, where did you get that from it sounds familiar?" They were walking to the living room.

"The Dresden Dolls, Good Day." She smiled and Hurst kissed the top of her head.

She looked around the house one last time, and headed outside. She didn't say goodbye to anyone, she didn't tell anyone she was leaving.

* * *

Jane was angry after Lexie had left. She didn't even tell them goodbye or that they would keep in touch. She walked out on them! At first she had been upset, and then when Lizzie spoke to her, and reviled what their father told her. Once they had left Lizzie went to her room and Jane stayed thinking. Lizzie had a lot of valid points. Lizzie made sense; she had been right about Lexie all along. She felt like her world was upside down, and now she saw what Lexie had meant. The world was an ugly place.

Lexie went to introduce Anne and Hurst to Aries and to explain to him what was happening. They were soon on their way to a pecan orchid, close to the city. A friend of The Hurst's owned it and they had extra stables.

She was happy they were a nice family and they told her she could come by during the weekends until she found a place. After explaining about how to care for him and explaining his personality they took off to Anne's. The maid and butler helped unload the truck and her belongings were put into Anne's part of the house. They were all hungry and the cook made them lunch, luckily Mrs. De Bough was at school, and they got to enjoy time with their boyfriends. They decided to take a break and Anne and Hurst snuck off somewhere. She took John to Anne's art museum, he was in awe.

He sat at the corner of the couch and pulled her to him. Her back was to his chest and he had his arms wrapped around her. They sat in silence, just looking at the wall.

"Which one is your favorite?" He asked.

"I don't know, I've never thought about it. Each is its own masterpiece."

"You say that about everything. Do you not favor anything?" He teased.

She giggled, "I suppose I don't, but I know what I like, what I don't like, and what I don't know."

He chuckled, "You know what you don't know?"

She stoked his arms with her fingers, giving him goose bumps. "Does that make sense?"

"Yes." She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed it.

"Can you take me to Dr. Stone's later, and stay with me?" She asked quietly. "That way I can tell you both how I feel and my thoughts. You might not like what you hear, I don't want to upset you, I'll understand if you would rather not."

"I'd love to." She turned on her side and kissed him. He deepened the kiss. His hands explored her back, as he held her tightly. Forgetting about her hands she grabbed his face and tensed. He abruptly stopped, panicking he grabbed her wrists to push her off of him.

"I'm sorry Lexie, I didn't mean to hurt you." He was afraid.

She sat up and grabbed his face with her fingers, pulling him close. He reluctantly followed. "John, you didn't do this to me, you didn't cause me any pain, I'm the one who forgot about it."

"But if-"

"No ifs, ands, or buts. You're not responsible in any way. That thought never crossed my mind, please erase it from yours." She looked into his eyes, hers eyes filled with love. He nodded and kissed her again.

"Thank you for allowing Hurst to come with me to speak to him. It is just that he is my brother –"

"I was hurt, but I got over it." She was going to explain. "I understand Lexie, from what you told me, I would have lost my temper." She was going reply. "And I know that is not the reason you did not ask me. He is your brother, and has been for several years now, 8?" She smiled and nodded. He pulled her back on top of him and kissed her.

She knew they couldn't be alone too long, and pulled away. They made their way to her room and John got the photo album for her. Making their way downstairs, they found Anne and Hurst were on the couch together. She sat down next to John, and he put an arm around her. Lexie thanked them all, and she found herself silently crying, but not tears of sorrow, they were tears of joy. She didn't have to tell them, they knew. Soon it was time to go to her meeting. John drove the UHAL truck to the company and they picked up his car.

They went to Dr. Stone's office, she had decided to work after all, but luckily they had scheduled a time. Dr. Stone was surprised to see that John followed Lexie in, but did not say anything. This wasn't technically a session.

"How are you feeling Lexie?" She asked.

"I feel like I'm drowning, I have a confliction of emotions, and I don't know how to deal with them. I thought I was losing control before, I was wrong." She started to cry, and John put an arm around her. "Though I feel like I'm losing control, I feel happy. I am free and I can do anything I want."

"Do you have any fears or worries?"

She nodded and started to sob. Once she calmed down she asked John to hold onto her. "I am afraid that I will end up like her, the way she wrote out her feelings. It reminded me of how I think at times. I am afraid that John's going to leave me. That his words are false, and I'll end up broken like her. I worry about what I'm going to do next, not in the sense I don't think I can make it on my own, I believe I can. I don't know if I should continue going to school. A part of me wants to graduate, but then I want to keep going to spend time with my friends, my original plan. But then if I graduate, I have to think about which college to go to. I don't want to take a year off, just because I can. I realized that I can now go to school for music, but I see the logic in going for a more suitable career. I now have a lot of choices to make, where before I only had two options to choose from. My head hurts."

"You are not your mother Lexie, she was a different person. You have never thought of suicide and you have never hurt yourself intentionally. You hate physical pain because you can't control your emotions when you're in pain. If you were a cutter it would be the other way around. John is still here, he is here with you right now. From what you told me, he has been here for you all along. It was like you said, you will always have his friendship. Do you believe that?" Lexie nodded, John was going to say something, but decided it would be best to wait.

"In order to help you make your own choices, pick: narrow them down to three and then two. Make your lists of pros and cons. It will take time, but it will become routine soon. Just take your time, and think rationally. I won't lie, it will be hard to adjust. Your fa- James would only allow you the freedom to choose between two things, it was how he controlled you, but a way you could think about it is you now have all the control. Is there anything else?"

"The Burton's want to meet me; well first I will meet my uncle and then the rest of them. I am worried they will not like me. It was her biggest fear that they would have rejected her if they knew about me. That thought is left in my head, I fear they won't like me and in a way I wish they wouldn't have been looking for me. The last thing I need is more people who do not like me, especially family."

"Well if they did not want to get to know you they would have not been looking for you in the first place. They or at least some of them will like you Lexie. Those are the people you want in your life, people who want you. Try to forget about those who don't."

"You make it sound so simple. My thoughts are overwhelming me, I try to push them aside and think of John, he makes me happy. But that demon pops up more. It's like the more I suppress it the louder it gets and I snap saying the bad things I think about."

"What was happening when you snapped?"

"I was telling Anne about John and I, and my fears. Anne told me that John was better than Will. I freaked out saying if Will cannot like me how can John, someone who was better? I did not recognize my voice, I told her that she made me feel insecure. But I know she did not mean it that way. Jane had asked me to apologize to Caroline and I overheard her asking Lizzie why I couldn't be normal and apologize the way I should have. I snapped nothing too bad was said. I told her she stays in her happy bubble, because she wants to be ignorant of how the world really is. That her ideals of peace and love were bull, the world and people were just cruel. It is not as bad as what I said to Caroline, but to say that to someone like Jane. She took it the same. Then yesterday Will-" John squeezed her tight, it was the second time when she mentioned his name and she faltered and Dr. Stone noticed.

"What did Will tell you this time?" She was surprised at how well Lexie was handling everything, and how calm she was. More importantly she was opening up.

"He asked me about the hearing. I said I hoped it would go by quickly. I realized I said the word hope. You know how much I hate that word. That feeling," she said with venom. "I had been thinking about it because I asked if his friend Charles mentioned anything about Jane's state of mind on Saturday. He said no and I knew not to be upset, a part of me knew that she wouldn't care. But a part of me hoped that she did tell him but he had not said anything. I told him the usual thing I tell you: That after so many disappointments that feeling should have died, but feelings don't die they drown and suffocate you."

"How did he respond to that?"

"He told me all feelings weren't bad, he mentioned the feeling of love. I apologized explaining that I let the thoughts get the better of me and agreed that love was a great feeling. I became happy because I thought of John and forgot about all the bad thoughts." She said happily and reached for her neck. Dr. Stone noticed and wondered if she had a new tick.

* * *

"So Will went to Anne's yesterday?" John asked as he drove.

"Yes, he wanted to see how I was doing. Do you dislike him?" She asked curiously.

"He hurt you Lexie." He said tersely.

"He hurt my feelings because he over reacted, and he also helped me out twice. He is a nice guy and a good friend. He's just…I don't know." She said looking in the distance angering John.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" He snapped. She gasped and turned sharply to look at him in disbelief. She felt like all the wind had been knocked out of her.

"How could you even think that?!"

"I noticed you didn't answer the question!" He spat.

"Please stop the car." She said quietly.

"No, answer me!" He demanded, making her cringe. _James._

"Stop the car!" She said with more force and unbuckled herself. He pulled over and looked at her expectantly. He regretted asking her. He had never seen her look so hurt.

"I can't believe you would ask me such a thing. I can't believe you would think I had feelings for anyone but you after everything. I gave you my body, my mind, and my heart. I let you in." She said quietly, tears were falling from her face. "To answer your question no, I do not harbor any romantic feelings for him. Did I hug him? Yes, but what he did yesterday meant a lot to me, he could have said no. I needed you to hold me." Tears kept falling from her face, and he leaned over to hug her but she backed away.

"Lexie-" She was too emotional, she couldn't think right now. She wanted to run away.

She took out the necklace and was looking for the clasp. "I think you should take this back." She said as calmly as possible but her voice was quivering.

Finding it John grabbed her wrists to stop her. "I am sorry. I love you. I-" How did he make her feel better with just his touch? She tried to think rationally.

"I know, and I understand what it is like to be jealous. I also know that I questioned your feelings for me earlier, and I shouldn't have, and I also shouldn't have gotten hurt when you questioned mine. I did bring it up after all. I know how you must have felt now, and I'm sorry. But you have no reason to be jealous, I on the other hand do. It's like comparing a rose to a weed." She said pointing to him when she said Rose and herself when she said weed.

*"A weed is a plant out of place." He told her, making her smile.

He pulled her in and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "Everyone has that little voice in the back of their head that gives negative thoughts Lexie. I know you would not have questioned my feelings had you not read your mothers journal. She put that thought in there, I am just afraid that you're going to leave me for him because he had your affection first, and I am really possessive over you."

She leaned in and kissed him. "He made me think about being with someone and wanting to change. Yes he inflicted confusing emotions and I _had_ a crush on him. But you have my heart John. You reached a place in my heart where no had ever been. You are the only one I have ever shared so much with. I am yours, and no one else's. The only feelings I have towards Will are those of friendship."

He kissed her, "Do you forgive me?"

She giggled and nodded. "Only if you can forgive me."

* * *

They were at his house and she was surprised to see that no one but the staff was there. They went to his room and laid on the bed. He was holding her and the album in his hands.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

"No, but I don't want it to put it off any longer." She took a deep breath and opened to the first page. She gasped. It was her, Ashley her mother looking very pregnant. She had auburn hair, but her hair was not as wavy. Mr. Sawyer was right, she did look like her. Although she believed her mother to be more beautiful than she was. She smiled.

"I love you." She turned and kissed him.

"What's going on through that pretty head of yours?"

"I-you make me feel beautiful, all the time. I never saw myself as such, I always thought that Hurst was just an awesome photographer. Not to say that he isn't it is just that when he would show me the pictures he took of me I couldn't believe that was me. I only felt beautiful looking at them. But because of you I feel beautiful, even though I know I'm not. Not like her anyways." She said happily.

"You are Lexie, you look like her, but I can assure you that she did not have your beautiful soul."

"How do you know?"

"Would you ever take your own life?"

She had to think about it, making him worry. "I do not honestly know. It is not that I hate my life all the time, I hate life in general, pointless thing really." She said in a dark voice. He tensed, and she sat up away from him. "I'm sorry John, I-" he grabbed her and pulled her back to him, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "No I would never take my own life. I might think about it though, and probably freak out about it, then speak to Dr. Stone about it but I would not go through with it. I really do hate physical pain, well emotional pain as well but no."

"You hate your life at times?" He asked sadly. She turned to look at him.

"I suppose I used to, but not anymore. To be honest I never thought about it unless I was having a bad day. I was just something I hate, an emotionless zombie. It's funny I hate living by a routine but that is all I know, well knew. But you make me happy."

"You make me happy to."

"John…if you-if-" she sighed. "If you ever do not want to be with me, please just tell me, and promise me that we'll still be friends. It might be hard at first, but I don't want to lose you."

"Where is this coming from Lexie?"

"What are we going to do when we graduate? What if we go to schools in different states? I do not want to tie you down or hold you back, or for you to miss out on the whole college experience."

"College experience?"

"Fraternity life, I mean I've seen a lot of movies, and all though that might not be how all fraternities are, I am sure they are not that different."

"Why are we speaking of this now? Can't we hold it off until we get there?"

"I wish that I could but I can't. I'm just asking you not to cheat on me, to be open and honest with me, and that we will always be friends even though we were lovers."

"Please stop talking about us in the past tense, we are dating. We will cross that bridge together when we get to it." She was going to respond. "I promise to be open and honest with you, to never cheat on you, and that we will always be friends, no matter how hard and uncomfortable it might be at first." He kissed her.

They continued to look at the album. At the end Lexie cried and John just held her. It was a beautiful album, it was decorated nicely. She could tell her mother did love her, which made her happy.

* * *

Friday:

Lexie had not returned to school, much too ever one's disappointment. Mary felt so bad that she had not been able to escape her mother's grasp. The only communication she had with Lexie was through Anne. Her mother had forbade her from contacting Lexie, and kept her form the computer and even changed her number. Anne did not want her to stay alone at the house. She was worried about her being alone, even though when she got home she and Lexie were inseparable. She loved having Lexie there it was as if they were truly sisters. She was happy her mother worked and was not there, and that her mom had left Lexie alone during dinner. At least today she wouldn't be stuck there. Hurst was happy that Lexie was opening up more, though he did miss her. She would constantly text him or email him. John missed her, he hadn't seen her since Monday, but they had spoken every day. She was going to meet her uncle today, and she had wanted him to go with her, but she also wanted to do it on her own. Hurst invited them all to a dinner and movie on Saturday to celebrate his birthday. He just had to wait one more day.

Lexie would follow her normal weekend routine and go for a walk on the grounds, but would go later than usual, waiting until Anne went to school. On Tuesday her phone services had been disconnected and she went to get her own line. She went to the DMV to get an ID and she stopped by the school to change all her information. Dr. Stone informed her that her father had also taken her off his insurance, but she did not have to worry about it for now. Though she now lived in the city and could take the bus anywhere, she spent her free time thinking about what her next steps would be, and doing her homework which Anne would bring. She was practicing the song she was going to sing for John, as well as playing just for fun. She found her skill improving more and more on the piano. It was the way she got out her emotions, being deprived of playing the violin. Luckily she was alone; she would often feel tears falling. Well the staff was there, but they left her on her own and would occasionally check to see if she needed anything. She asked them several times not to fuss over her, so they would try to make themselves conveniently available. Her hands would hardly sting, but they were healing quickly. The stiches on her thigh though, she found she could not look at. They would occasionally puss, and they were scabbing. It was all in her head and she knew it. It was not as bad as it could have been. But she could not bear to look at them.

She contacted Mr. Sawyer who informed her uncle would be coming to town on Friday. Today she found herself taking more time deciding what to wear. John told her to dress as herself. She felt most comfortable in jeans but wore skirts because of the stiches. She used to have plenty of dresses to choose from, but she gave a majority of her clothes that Rose had made her wear to a women's shelter. She decided to wear her uniform black skirt and a grey button up shirt. She wore knee high grey socks and she left her hair lose. She waited as patiently as she could, practicing to calm her nerves. She knew that he would ask her about herself. She was worried that he would not like her. If he did not like her that would mean that she would not get to meet the rest of her family, and she was unsure if this was a good thing or bad thing. Could she handle that, is that what she wanted? The maid informed her that Mr. Sawyer was here for her and she left.

Mr. Sawyer was not too tall a man. He was not short though. But he was built, and gave off the vibe of being a body guard. When he saw her she could see that he seemed to struggle over something. But it went as quickly as it came. He escorted her to the car and opened the back door for her to enter. It was empty and she felt a ping of sadness. _They must have changed their minds and Mr. Sawyer was going to break the news to her. But then why would he be picking her up?_ He went around and entered. She sat perfectly and looked out the window. She could tell he kept looking at her, but she didn't know what to say.

"Did your father often hurt you?"

She turned to look at him, he was looking at her hands. "I do not fully remember, it is all in pieces but it was only for two years." He just nodded and she turned back around.

They pulled up to a hotel, it looked really nice. She got out before Mr. Sawyer could go around and open the door for her. She looked up at the tall building. They rode the elevator to the top floor, Mr. Sawyer had to punch in a code for the penthouse. The elevator doors opened into a hallway and she followed him to a door at the end. He opened the door and entered, leading her to the living room. The view was amazing. The windows were floor to ceiling and she caught a glimpse of the city. She looked around and couldn't believe there was a piano in the living room. There was a man standing looking out the window. He was as tall as Mr. Sawyer and just as built. They seemed to be the same age. He had short copper colored hair and her green eyes.

"Alexandra! How nice to meet you! I am your Uncle Edward." He said smiling genuinely, calming her somewhat. He didn't seem to know if he should hug her or shake her hand so she held out her hand.

"Mr. Burton please call me Alexa, it is nice to meet you as well." His smile faltered at being addressed formally.

"Ok, Alexa. Please call me Edward, or Uncle." He said sitting down. She followed and Mr. Sawyer sat down next to her.

"I thought that it would be best to determine if you like me enough first before forming any type of attachment." She said nonchalantly.

"What do you mean, we're family."

"Technically speaking yes, but you do not know me. I-am afraid that once you do, you would not like to."

"As I said we are family, I have waited a long time to meet you, and so has the rest of the family. They all wanted to come but I know-I thought it would be easier for you this way." She nodded her understanding. "Tell me what do you think of the apartment?"

She looked outside again, "The view is amazing, and I like the piano, do you play?"

He chuckled, "No I got it just for you." She was confused.

"Would you like me to play something for you? To be honest I am barley starting to play again, the violin occupies my time but my hands- I cannot play well until my left hand is healed."

A big smile crossed his face but his phone went off. He excused himself and walked out of the room. Mr. Sawyer encouraged her to go up to the piano, that she had been eying it was Steinway & Sons, she knew from Mary that it was one of the bests. She went up to it and fiddled with some keys.

Edward came back into the room. "It seems as if your grandmother couldn't wait to meet you, she will be here shortly."

She stood as well unsure what to do, and they didn't have to wait long. The door opened and an elderly woman came in followed by a girl who looked like a secretary. "Edward, can you believe they were not going to allow me to come up! Your own mother! The audacity!" She said with conceit in her face.

"Mother, you are not even supposed to be here. The staff was only doing their job."

"You and your father will not keep me from meeting my own grandchild, now when is the girl going to get here. I want to see what passes for fashion around here."

"Hello Mrs. Burton it is nice to meet you." Lexie stepped out behind Mr. Sawyer who had stood protectively in front of her.

"Dear God what happened to your hands?!" She exclaimed.

Lexie retreated behind Mr. Sawyer, she wished John was here.

"Mother," he pinched the bridge of his nose. This is what he wanted to avoid, the reason Ashley left home in the first place.

"I was thrown onto some glass." She said stepping out again.

"You poor dear, come here let me get a good look at you." Lexie smiled to herself, she reminded her of Mrs. De Bough. She was surprised when she was in front of her she could see sadness then tears in Mrs. Burton's eyes. She was shocked when Mrs. Burton sobbed and hugged her. "My Ashley." She whispered.

Lexie returned the hug and saw that the woman behind her had her mouth open in shock. She turned to look at her uncle and Sawyer who had similar looks on their faces. Mrs. Burton quickly composed herself and they all went to sit. They asked Lexie about herself, and she told them about her disorder, her friends, and school. They asked about The Bennet's and she told them about her life with them as impassively as she could. It was difficult which was strange; she never got emotional over them. She thought about that and realized that was before she knew everything. The look they were all giving her made her more uneasy.

They spent several hours talking, getting to know each other, though they did not talk about her mother. Though Mrs. Burton dominated most of the conversation, she did not mind. Afterwards Mrs. Burton insisted on talking her shopping muttering that her grandchild was not going to walk around dressed like that. Though Lexie knew there was no problem with the way she was dressed she knew there was no stopping it. She was disappointed that they were going to go to the types of stores that Anne shopped at, she knew how much the clothes cost. She would have been happy going to her thrift stores but could not imagine Mrs. Burton stepping foot in there. She was not allowed to pay for anything and was happy that Mrs. Burton's assistant Sarah was there. Sarah was able to help her choose clothes that looked well on her and that Lexie liked. She was happy that even though Mrs. Burton was like Mrs. De Bough she was allowed to choose her own clothing, they even got her knew skirts and shirts for her uniform. She was happy when Mrs. Burton decided after two hours that they were done shopping. What she didn't know was that they were now going to go shopping for shoes. She just went along, they returned to the apartment.

"Mother did you buy the whole store?" He said after the fifth man came in with a handful of bags.

"Please Edward we have more than enough money. What kind of grandmother would I be if I did not spoil my granddaughter? I have 17 years to make up for."

"I believe you made bought enough to last a life time."

"Hush, now Sarah I want you to organize everything into the closet in the master bedroom."

"Mrs. Burton by the time-"

"I do not understand, why would you place everything here?" Lexie asked.

"Why you're staying here of course!" She said as a matter of fact.

"What she means Alexa is that Sawyer informed me that you needed a place to live. There is a door man and the front desk does not allow anyone up that is not in the list of approved guests. Someone comes to clean twice a week. It is close to the school, and there is a pool and game room down stairs."

"But I cannot afford to live here, and I still have to tell my friend Anne, she's going to be sad, and what about Aries. He can't stay there forever and he has to be ridden and I have to find a place for him. But this place is too big for me to be alone in. DO not misunderstand it is beautiful but it is too much for me, I would be happier in a smaller apartment, which I can find on my own, within my own price range." She started rambling and then looked up at all of them. "I do not mean to sound ungrateful but I am not one for luxury items, not to say that I will not wear the clothes you have bought for me, I will. But-"

"Alexa, I can assure you that you will not be left alone, Sawyer will be staying in the upstairs part of the apartment so you will have complete privacy. Your horse will be moved to a stable closer to the city but open enough for you to ride him. As for the cost, well you do not have to worry about that, your grandfather has agreed to pay for it."

"But I am supposed to do this on my own. What if the judge revokes his decision and I have to go back to that house!"

"Alexa, you will never go back there again, I promise. You do not have to move in right away, I know it will take time to adjust. Please at least try it for a month and if you change your mind there will be no problem. We can make other arrangements, do not worry about paying for anything, you have your own mother that your great grandfather left you, but your grandfather and I would like to do this for you. To make up for the last 17 years."

"But you do not need to make up for anything." She said quietly.

"Please try it, and we will go from there, as I said you can move in whenever you like."

She nodded and was shown around. The kitchen was a good size; there was an island counter, dining room, a bathroom and three bedrooms downstairs each with its own bathroom. Upstairs were two more bedrooms with restrooms and a smaller living room. Plans were made to meet on Sunday. She was surprised when they wanted to meet her friends as well. Sawyer who preferred to be called by his last name took her back to the De Bough's.


End file.
